Thank you for all the reviews, the story has had more response then I thought that it would it has personal meaning for me as I lost my life long best friend 4 years ago and dealt with the feelings and sadness that came with it and that I still feel today.

Disclaimer…come on Steph, breaking dawn cannot be the end, we need more!

Chapter 2

I must be seeing things, I said to myself because there was no way I could have seen her actually standing there, I kept telling myself this for days; I was going through the motions, throwing myself into school, homework, cheering; but only partly so much was missing from my life now.

I had decided to go see Karen and Terry; I had spoken to Karen on the phone several times since that day but had not went to her house, so as I walked up the flowered path that lead to my second home, I had to push the nerves down.

"Bella" Karen said as she opened the door and pulled me tightly into a hug, tears were flowing from both our eyes as we separated and walked into the kitchen, over cookies and tea we made small talk.

"Are you coming to the game tomorrow" I asked, what did you say to the parents of your dead best friend, guilt filled my heart, was she looking at me wondering why her daughter and not me.

"Yes, its amazing what the teams have pulled together in such a short time, it just shows us that our Alice was loved by all" she said and as I looked at her, I saw that she had aged years in a week; reaching across the table I took her hand.

"Would you come upstairs with me Bella, I started going through her room, and I know she would want you to have some of the stuff I found" she said standing and quietly we walked through the house, I looked around the house I had been a part of for 9 years, to me it was the brightest house I had ever seen, but now the house was shadowed in places, darker.

Can houses like people be changed by the loss of someone so special, did Alice not only touch our hearts but everything? Her room was exactly the way I had left it on that Saturday; not messy but not pristine; I could smell her perfume in the air.

"I came in here yesterday, and I could swear that she was just in here; I could feel her" Karen said touching the vanity.

"I feel it too, its like we just missed her" I said, and it was the truth; it felt like she had just been right here.

Karen pulled a tote over to the bed, "Here are a few of the things I thought you would like to have, and I am sure there will be more and I would like you to go through her closet and take what you would like; the rest I am donating, but sit here and look through it, stay as long as you want sweetie" she said and closed the door as she left the room.

Looking around, I saw many of the pictures of us through the years; opening her closet I laughed at the massive amount of clothing she had accumulated through our many shopping trips.

"Bella, clothes define you and I know that is a bad thing to say but it's the truth; they are like our book covers" she said and I laughed skeptically, Alice and I were little different when it came to shopping she saw it as a necessity I did it to make her happy.

"Really Alice" I said waiting to hear her explanations, all knowing Alice always had a way of explaining things in a way that usually made me go along with her.

"Seriously ok look at it like this, what draws you to a book?"

"The Author, the storyline" I countered.

"The cover" she said her eyes wide, "Bella, you could put the best story that has ever been told in a book with a brown cover, with gold letters and in today's society it would never be read. So there's to say that you being one of the most beautiful people I know, could where that on your date with the guy of your dreams" she said gesturing to my favorite American Eagle jeans, and fitted t-shirt, and he would of course like you.

"Thanks" I said sarcastically.

"OR you could wear this and he wouldn't be able to take his eyes off you", she said holding up a short flowy black skirt, and a ¾ sleeve red sweater.

"You were right Alice, that outfit is still one of my favorite's" I said pulling down a few items, I didn't really feel right taking Alice's things, but Karen wanted me too so I would take a few pieces that had memories attached to them. Flipping through the hangers, I grabbed a piece here and there, there was one black shirt that I had brought Alice for her 16th birthday, I had found it in a vintage shop and it was by one of her favorite designers, she cried when she opened it.

"Where is it" I said aloud, Alice's clothes were all shorted by color and then sleeve length, and it was not there, checking the hamper, and under the bed I finally gave up that it was not there.

Opening the tote, I found pictures and souvenirs, letters and cards. Pulling out a scrapbook that Alice had put together for us, I set it aside, she had made us each one and I wanted Karen to keep this one.

I moved over to her desk and saw her doodles, Alice drew things everywhere on napkins, notebook pages, picking up the notebook I flipped it open turning the pages, Alice was real and these pages proved it, how long until she was just a vivid memory that hurt a little less to think of.

I opened the drawer and found a small book covered in pink paisley, I never knew Alice to keep a journal or diary so upon opening it I wasn't surprised that it was more of a sketch book, until the back pages there were words written

Why

Understanding

Knowing

Future

E.C.

"E.C?" I asked, what's E C Alice"

I had spent a lot of time in her room, picking up my box of things; I headed down the stairs.

"Bella, will you come over for dinner next week" Karen asked as she helped me out to the car.

"I would love too Momma Karen" I said hugging her, "And tell Terry I will see him tomorrow at the game" I said before driving off.

In the solitude of my home and my room, I was able to break down and cry the tears I had held back at Alice's, her parents didn't need more of my tears, after a while I fell asleep.

Walking onto the field with the other 5 girls, Alice's place had not been filled yet although I knew that it would be soon, we were wearing special uniforms of navy blue, silver and pink in honor of Alice, the players all had pink A's on their helmets and it was a subdued crowd on both sides of the stadium, we lived in a close knit area and the death of a teenager who was so well known hit the whole area hard. The other team must have been aware of the memorial tonight for the other cheerleaders had pink ribbons in their hair.

Scanning the crowd the stand were more packed then usual. I could hear the announcer talking about Alice her achievements, and then her dad who was one of the assistant coaches went out on the field for the coin toss, as all the players lined up as he walked out, holding their helmets on their right sides in tribute.

The game started and I was cheering for Alice, trying out had been her idea, and she worked with me endlessly to get me ready.

"I can barely walk on even ground sometimes Alice, let alone do it while jumping and yelling" I said as she signed our names up for try-outs.

"Bella, Bella, Bella, when will you ever give yourself credit; you've taken the same tumbling classes I have and your good at it" Charlie had agreed with Alice when she suggested that we both needed more exercise and wanted to sign up for gymnastics and tumbling classes, reluctantly I went, once again she was right, it was fun and we became friends with the girls we would cheer with in the future.

Mike tapped me on the butt as he ran out onto the field, winking at him I watched as the ball was snapped and he caught it effortlessly, running it over 50 yards into the end zone, he dropped down on one knee, kissing the ball and pointing it to the sky, the whole stadium both sides were on their feet, cheering and clapping, for the play, for the dedication.

Tears flowing for all eyes, the night went on like that, we were winning; the band's half time show was all Alice's favorites, from Sweet Caroline to Just Dance, we were all having a great night, but I started to feel watched; which I was being watched and not just for my cheering; everywhere I went people watched me; it was as if they expected me to fall apart to break down, and I wanted to, but I saved that for in private; this was a different feeling though.

Scanning the crowd, I saw teachers, parents of friends, my Dad waving at me; Karen and Alice's aunts and grandmother smiled as I saw them, then four rows down I saw him, watching my his eyes intent on me, the second boy from the mall, the blonde one, he didn't look away when he saw me looking at him, he just continued looking; finally and with much effort I looked away hearing my name, Mike was behind the game over and won.

"Come on Bella, let's get out of here" he said kissing my temple and then following my gaze but now finding the spot empty.

"Where" I said, rubbing my bare arms, it was starting to get chilly.

"After party" he said winking

"Mike, you know I don't go to those" After every home game there was usually a wild party at one of the players houses, Alice and I avoided them like the plague.

"Tonight you do, come on Bella we are celebrating her tonight" and he led me to his car and headed out of town.

Walking into the crowded house; music blaring out of the speakers, kids dancing talking he led me through the crowd, grabbing 2 red cups off the counter we headed out the back door.

Sipping the drink, I knew there was more in it then punch; it was strong and it burned going my throat but it made me feel warm and alive.

There were kids everywhere; girls making out with guys, laughing, talking and I was remembering why after the first one we had attended Alice and I stopped coming to them.

"Oh my god" Alice said as she climbed into her car after saying goodbye to Ben

"What" I said looking at the expression on her face. "Wasn't that right out of Varsity Blues"

"Sex" she said and I turned to her

"What" I said, "Who"

"Lea and Jason totally getting in on in the bed of his tuck, how did you miss it?" she asked and as we droved back past sure enough there they were in the bed of his truck, her legs sticking out and you could see the top of Jason and he was going to town"

"Wow" I said

"Amy was telling me that last week, she was looking for the bathroom and opened the door to find Lea with Jason and Mark"

"No way, shut up that's just wrong" I said

After 2 or 3 cups of the mixture I needed to sit down. "Mike, I need to sit down somewhere" I said and he nodded and pulled me back into the house, turning into one of the rooms he pulled me down onto a loveseat.

I was teetering on being drunk for the first time in my life, and Mike was there. He pulled me to him, kissing me roughly; whether it was the booze or him but I felt something and it was good too feel after the numbness of the past 2 weeks.

Mike and I although we dated regularly had never had a physical relationship for then kissing, and now here I was sitting on top of him almost, his hands roaming my body, his lips on my neck. One hand went up the front of my uniform and one was heading up my leg.

"Mike" said pulling away from him, he pulled me back crushing his lips back on mine. Grinding up into me, I could feel him against my leg, and I knew that it would only take one move from me, part of me wanted to keep feeling as alive as I was feeling, did I want this, it wasn't the way that I wanted it to happen, drunken and in someone's rec room, with a guy that I cared about. But it felt good.

The time I was taking thinking about what I wanted to do, Mike must have decided that now was the time, and he flipped me over and was climbing on top of me.

"Mike, wait I don't think I am ready for this" I said

"Bella, come on you are enjoying this as much as I am, and we've been together for 2 years" he said kissing me more.

"I can't" I said, and pushed him up off of me.

"Come on Bella, why not, you've been a zombie for the last 2 weeks, let me help you feel alive again" he said

"Wow, that was a really sleazy thing to say Mike, I am sorry that my sadness has been bothering you"

"Bella, I loved her, we all did, but you said it yourself she would want us to live our lives, to be happy" he said and I was trying not to get upset with him, alcohol fueling both of our words.

Standing up, I pulled myself together, "I'm not ready for sex Mike, but I am ready to go" I said and stormed out the door, heading through the people and out the door to the chilly October night I remembered two things.

"Shit" I cursed. I hadn't drove over here and even if I had although I felt fine, fighting with Mike had sobered me up, but I had still been drinking and I wasn't going to get behind the wheel of a car. We were at Shawn McIntosh's house which was about 2 miles from mine and I would just walk home.

Wishing I had a jacket, I started out it wasn't a long walk and it was well lit and populated, plus walking would sober me up a bit more because I didn't want to go home and let Charlie see me this way, he was the chief after all.

About a mile into it I turned around, the feeling that someone was following me was ruling my senses; there was no one there that I could see but I knew that someone was there, I started walking faster and the way I was looking over my shoulder every few steps was getting ridiculous.

The hair's on the back of neck started to rise, there was someone there and I wasn't going to turn around to look this time, I started to run and I know that I could almost hear someone behind me now and I knew at any moment whoever or whatever was behind me was going to catch me, when a car rounded the turn and honked, stopping and turning there was no one behind me anymore the watched feeling was gone, looking around I felt like I was looking for a shadow.

"Bella" I heard my name coming from the car, and I knew the voice but couldn't believe it, walking over to the driver's side I leaned down and looked at the face of the driver who had just saved me from whatever was behind me.

"Jacob Black, what are you doing here, you're a long way from home"

You will get the story as I write it, some chapters will come fast, some may take a day or so, but when I have idea's my stories write themselves.

Read and Review and you might get a teaser of the next chapter.