wrote this in an hour so sorry if it's crappy and everything. I desided to do a continuation and here it is, there will be one more chapter.

oh and, thanks to all the reviewers, I know it was ages ago but your reviews were so awesome so thank you!

The apartment was absolutely trashed. More than usual, too. That would be because of me. I had… lost something. Something nobody but Me could afford to find. Nobody. So I have made quite the mess trying to find it.

Matt thought I was having a temper tantrum, because my plan didn't go well, he tried to calm me down at first "if it had worked you would have died, Mel, what do you think I would do without you livening up my life," he had said. Though me being alive is the reason I'm in this mess. I thought I was going to die, I had to prepare, just like he said, what would he do if I would have died?

I couldn't deal with the guilt. I had to write that letter.

I hid it well though, it seems, since I was slightly drunk while doing so. My tactic was I would hide it so well I couldn't even find it, and when Matt was moving to the new house I bought him (thank god I bought a two bedroom house, just in case) he would find it while moving the furniture.

One problem. I didn't die.

Shouldn't be a problem. No, no it shouldn't. It wasn't, when I survived, or really, when I saw that matt survived I was over the moon. For once I didn't care about the failure, all I wanted to do is go home and have a hot chocolate with him. But then I remembered how I wrote the most… lovey dovey thing I have ever wrote, not much comparison though.

And so when I got home I began to search for the a4 piece of paper, spluttered in my tears. I'm such a moron, I know.

A voice came from the bedroom "mellllloooooo? You done yet? I'm hungry," it was his sleepy voice, I decided, he probably wouldn't find anything half asleep. I looked around at the wreck I made and kicked a few items to the side so that Matt could get through without falling on his ass.

I fell back onto the leather couch "yeah, yeah I'm good, you can eat I guess, just make me something,"

The door opened and he stumbled out, bed head and all.

"You been sleeping?" I asked, checking my pocket for any chocolate, unsuccessfully as well.

The sleepy red head nodded "mh, I was trying to, near death experience tired me out, if you know what I mean," and then he paused "but I couldn't get comfortable on my pillow…"

Note to self, I thought, buy a new pillow for matt in the new house.

I cleared my throat, walking into the kitchen where he now stood and begun exploring our near empty cupboards "shouldn't be sleeping, lazy ass, its midday,"

"eh? It was an all nighter asshole! And I'm not staying out here watching you destroy all my games," he defends, clearly waking slightly to bitch at me as he took some eggs and chocolate out the fridge.

I smiled slightly, humoured at his defence and happy that we are not out of chocolate. Then I shake my head "I didn't destroy any of you're games actually… um... have you seen a piece of paper lying around anywhere?"

Matt cracks the egg onto the frying pan along with a small bit of butter "like a file for the kira case or something?" he asks raising an eyebrow slightly and reaching for a spatula.

"well, no, not really, it's more of a letter," I pick up the chocolate bar from the counter and lean back.

"urm, checked the letter box?"

"oh. Of course not, the smartest person in the whammy house-"

"second*"

"-has totally not thought of looking in a letter box for a letter, no dipshit, I was the one who wrote it," I finish, ignoring the soul shattering interruption. Trying hard not to correct him that I was indeed, the smartest in the whammy house.

He shrugs and shakes the pan in his hand "who's it too? You write a lot of letters, mels,"

I bite my lip "uh… you?"

"me?"

"yeah you,"

"Mel we live in the same apartment, why the hell would you write a letter to me," he asks with a slight laugh, but mostly confusion in his voice.

I shrug slightly "I dunno, some words should be left un spoken," I attempt to explain myself, and then quickly get side tracked "oh and about the apartment, what do you think about getting a house?"

He stares at me for a second, and then the eggs begin hissing "are you pregnant or something?"

"do you want a slap?" I threaten, raising the hand that doesn't hold chocolate.

Matt laughs loudly "mh, yeah sure, extra hard too,"

A twitch of annoyance suddenly appears "I'm serious, dip shit, I bought a house so are you living with me or staying in this shithole?!"

He smiles, ignoring my anger, this happens a lot "sure,"

Then we ate, and I completely forgot about the letter. We just went about our daily business, after we cleaned of course. Matt played his games, smokes a little, I hit him for killing himself slowly and he brought up how I blew myself up thinking it was a gas bomb. I informed him how that wasn't killing me slowly cause I was still alive.

And then we went to sleep, around 10 oclock.

For once I wasn't the first one up, when I got out of bed and walked to the kitchen Matt was already sat at the table eating toast reading something. I was surprised to say the least but I didn't show it, just walked over to the cereal and poured myself some coco pops, aka the manly breakfast.

I sat down next to him "we got mail?" I tried not to make a dumb ass pun about his name as well.

"not you, me," he said, his eyes still scanning the letter in his hand, I took a mouthful of breakfast "oh, I figured out what was wrong with my pillow,"

"hm? Good, don't have to buy you a knew one then," I said un enthusiastically "what was the problem?"

"there was paper in it,"

"eh? Why?"

He sighed "you tell me," and then he put the piece of paper down, it was titled 'letter to you'.