Take a chance on me
Disclaimer: The characters and other things from The Vampire Diaries don't belong to me. Credit goes to the rightful owners.
Chapter 2: Step back
"Damon! Open the door, Damon!" Elena called out while simultaneously banging on the front door, "Damon!"
She lifted her hand to knock again but instead she hit the air and Damon neatly caught her hand mid-swing. "Wow, you really like screaming don't you? Lost your key? I thought brother dear already gave you one. He's not here, just FYI. Run along now."
Elena squinted at him, pulling away her wrist, and stepped around him to walk into the living room. "I know he's not here. Stefan was the one who told me you were here. He just forgot to mention you weren't in a good mood."
"Who? Me?" Damon said pointing to himself, feigning innocence, "When have I ever been in a bad mood Elena? Am I not the bright spot of every single sunshine filled day?"
"Drunk?" Elena asked pointblank
"Nope, just very annoyed that you disturbed my bubble bath, Elena. What do you want?" Damon said irritably
"Let's go." Elena said gesturing to the door
"What?" Damon said frowning at her, not moving an inch
"Let's go. Do you want me to spell that out or something? I don't have all day," Elena said impatiently
"Neither do I, so make your point and make it quick." Damon said crossing his arms on his chest, "Go where? And more importantly, why?"
"Did I ask you these many questions when you kidnapped me? At least I'm asking you, nicely." Elena said glaring at Damon
"You don't have a choice, not like you can carry me to your car. You have to ask or your little plan won't work. Answer the questions Elena, because unlike you, I guess I do have all day and an eternity after that to keep you waiting until you tell me."
"No, just trust me." Elena replied stubbornly
"Then take Stefan. He'll blindly follow you off a cliff but I won't. Crazy but not stupid, Elena." Damon retorted
"This isn't about him. It's about you." Elena said taking a step towards him, "You're the one who wanted to make things right, spend time together as if nothing changed and now you're standing there like it's such a punishment to even look at me?"
"Yes, it's torture Elena. To look at you standing here, in this house, because in case you've forgotten—you look like Katherine," Damon said bluntly, his face void of the emotion that was rolling off him in waves
Elena took a deep breath and took another step closer to him, "Which is why I'm asking you, please, let's go."
"You're beginning to sound like a broken record Elena, doesn't suit you at all." Damon said shaking his head, refusing to budge
"Damon, asking for forgiveness and wanting to stay in my life means that you don't just need me to trust you again but you have to trust me too. So, I'm asking you now, trust me. Let's go." Elena said forcefully, taking the last step to close the distance between them so they were only inches apart.
"Only if you let me drive, you have slow reflexes." Damon said holding out one hand for the keys
"I do not. I was fast enough to get in between you and Caroline when you wanted to kill her and also, fast enough to stop Bonnie from burning you alive." Elena countered as she dropped the keys onto his palm
"Ah, but not fast enough to run away the first time we met. But here we are since you apparently can't last 2 weeks without me." Damon said waving his hand, "After you, Elena."
"Three weeks, and I would have lasted a whole lot longer than that," Elena said as she walked out the door
"Obviously…not." Damon said as he opened the passenger door for her, "Hating me doesn't mean you don't miss me. Admit it."
"Never," Elena said rolling her eyes, "Why would I miss you? You annoy."
"In a totally endearing way," Damon said fluttering his eyelids at her, "Seriously, what's with the visit that couldn't wait another lifetime?"
"Shut up and drive us out of town. I'll give you further instructions from there." Elena said ignoring his question
Damon stared at her until she took the key from him and put it in the ignition, turning it so the car purred to life, "Drive, Damon. Go."
"You're a walking contradiction you know that? You tell me to stay the hell away, but you want me around. You want me alive but not in your life. You want me to shut up but you obviously want to hear some specific words from me. A lesser being would have run away from you by now." Damon said as he eased out of the driveway, "And I have no idea why I'm still here, much less driving you to points unknown."
"Yeah, well, you're not exactly the running away kind. You're more of run headfirst into danger without thinking kind of guy, so, lucky me." Elena muttered
"You're not dangerous, Elena. You're fairly harmless," Damon countered
"Not to you. Apparently, I'm a danger to you. I can hurt you." Elena said softly
Damon clenched his jaw and his lips formed a tight line, "You get a free pass. I did horrible things to you so I'm letting you bleed me out. Should be okay—it's worth it."
"Not okay. Damon, don't be an idiot. What will it accomplish if I hurt you? Nothing. In the end, we'll just end up wounded but no closer to forgiveness. I need to forgive you, not watch you suffer. There's a difference."
They drove in silence, until they reached the edge of the town and Damon pulled over.
"What are you doing?" Elena asked slowly looking carefully at Damon if he just lost his mind
"New rules, the moment we step out of the town limits, we don't bring up the last few months. No Stefan, no Katherine, no Jeremy and no other resident of Mystic Falls that has even the smallest bit of reason to drive us further apart. Just you and me when we cross that line, until we come back home. I'm not asking you to forgive and forget—just let go for a few hours or this trip ends up in tears and misery. With me, Elena?" Damon asked extending his hand to her
Elena eyed him, with a flicker of doubt in her eye that vanished the second she placed her hand in his and shook it.
"Now, drive." Elena said, sitting back and turning up the music, tapping the rhythm against her window, fighting the wish in her that they'd never have to go back from that invisible line.
"Are we lost Elena?" Damon teased, "I really think we should ask that nice young lady over there."
"No! I know where we are! You just want an excuse to flirt." Elena said stubbornly, staring out the back of the car, trying to figure out which turn they missed
"Me? Flirt? Come on, I'm just trying to save us time since we're obviously lost." Damon emphasized
"Just turn around, and we'll retrace from the last turn we made," Elena insisted
"Hmmm, no sorry. I'm driving so I get to make the call. We're asking for directions."
"What happened to trusting me?" Elena said narrowing her eyes at him
"With my life? Yes, I trust you. But your sense of direction, I totally lost faith in that three wrong turns ago. So we ask her," Damon said pulling over to the left side of the road, right in front of the young girl by a bus stop.
"Hi," Damon said to the girl who stood outside Elena's window, "We're lost, can you help us find the address that my trusty navigator will now hand to you?"
Elena glared at Damon before reluctantly handing over the small slip of paper in her hand, "Hi, sorry my friend is rude. Would you know where this is?"
"Yeah, just turn around and make the first right you see," the girl said staring past Elena, watching Damon make faces mocking his companion, trying to ignore the word Elena used to describe him, dousing the flame of hope that threatened to bring out emotions he worked so hard to suppress.
"Real mature Damon, I can see your reflection on the side mirror," Elena called back to him before turning again to the girl who now wore a smile on her face, "Thanks for the help!"
"Bye! And thanks!" Damon said before making a u-turn, "See was that so hard?"
"Whatever, just drive," Elena said waving him off, "We're almost there."
"Yeah, can you already tell me where exactly we're going? Is it the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow?" Damon asked suspiciously
"You'll know it when you see it. Hard to miss," Elena said craning her neck trying to see around the bend they just turned into, "And there it is!"
Damon turned to her in disbelief, "A carnival? Did the last one not traumatize you enough to stay the hell away from these things?"
"Eyes on the road Damon," Elena said tapping the side of his cheek so he faced ahead, "And no talking of what happened before, remember?"
"This is lame. We could have gone to the mall and had more fun throwing coins from a moving escalator." Damon complained
"Just park there and let's go!" Elena said bouncing in her seat, her excitement getting the best of her.
Damon couldn't help but smile and shake his head, "Fine. But I'm not going to win you anything. And you owe me cotton candy."
"You can't be this good. You must be cheating Elena," Damon exclaimed as Elena took the fluffy unicorn from the booth personnel, "You can cast an entire children's show with all the stuffed animals you won."
"Hey, don't rain on my parade Damon. You might have all your super abilities but you don't have the skills to put a ring on a bottle or pop balloons with a dart. It takes serious skills." Elena said with mock seriousness before bursting out with laughter, clear and loud, ringing around them as if it were music
"Okay, now what? We're stuffed with hotdogs and popcorn, not to mention the sugar high from all that candy. I look like a Christmas tree what with all these toys hanging on me. Have we missed anything?" Damon said looking at the Ferris wheel.
Elena glanced at it and shook her head, "No, not that. It's not for us. How about the haunted house?"
"What?" Damon said incredulously, "You freaking live in the town equivalent of that, which is infinitely more realistic and scary."
"Come on, it should be fun. We can mock it. Don't you want to see a real vampire?" Elena said wiggling her eyebrows
"Fine," Damon said following her as she bought the tickets, depositing the stuffed toys with the attendant before going in, "Elena it's not even dark in here."
"Will you stop complaining? Just go with it. Let's see, we need to go through this room and two more to get out."Elena said as a fake ghoul blasted the cabinet doors open right next to them.
Damon shook his head and slammed it shut on the ghoul, whose very human cry of pain was muffled through the door.
"Yeah, better luck next time man. And no, your nose isn't broken," Damon muttered as they continued to walk slowly through the room.
Elena rolled her eyes, but smiled as she hopped to the side to evade a hand that reached out for her ankle from beneath a table, "See, I have fast reflexes. Okay, ready for the next room?"
Damon turned the knob and opened the door, "After you."
The next room was pitch dark and eerily silent. None of the fake haunted house sounds made it through the door once it closed behind them. It was like a void and no light or sound escaped.
Damon could hear Elena's heart beat steadily faster by the second and he reached out for her but something cold ran in between them. Elena's blood curdling scream rang out in the two seconds it took for Damon to pull her into him tightly, his entire body tense and on alert, guessing if this was just part of the effects or if there was real danger around them.
Damon's back stiffened as he sensed it come back and slowly creep towards them, lifting Elena's hair by the end. His hand flew out and grabbed the wrist, "I'd let go of that if I were you. Come on. Drop it and walk away."
"Dude, what a buzz kill, this is what you're paying for. I scare her so you get to hold her in your arms and be the hero," said the teenager who pulled his hand away from Damon.
"Sorry, more villain than hero, so I'd stay away if you know what's good for you." Damon threatened, holding Elena against him with one arm, waiting for her pulse to slow to a more normal pace
"Whatever man, door's that way, just go. There are more 'fun' people coming so if you'll excuse me," the teenager said walking back into his corner to await the next customers
Damon sighed and steered Elena out the door, "Come on, let's go, my brave little 'fraidy cat."
Elena frowned, "Not cat. Not Kat."
He sighed again, and led her through the rooms silently, speaking only once they were outside. "Yes, not Kat. So, does this mean it's time for you to tell me what's really going on?"
Elena drew out a long breath and nodded, sitting down on a stone bench underneath a tree. "Sit."
Damon obediently sat down, leaving space between them to place his hands on the bench and grip the edge, needing to hold on to something anchored to the ground as he waited for her to speak.
"She told Stefan, and he told me." Elena started slowly, "What she said to you that night…when you killed Jeremy."
"Who?" Damon asked quietly knowing the answer.
"Katherine." Elena said simply, "She said she never really loved you, that it was always Stefan."
Damon exhaled loudly and laughed bitterly, "Wow, who knew it would still hurt to hear that. Granted, your voice being the exact copy of hers doesn't really help make it less heartbreaking. Thanks a bunch, Elena."
"Damon, I'm not saying that snapping Jeremy's neck is acceptable given that, I mean what she did to you. But what I'm trying to tell you is that even if it goes against everything that makes sense in this universe, I understand. I get it. I get you."
"No, you don't." Damon said softly, "That hurt. What she did, it was brutal. It's painful, like I was lit on fire and everyone just kept fanning the flames. It still does but it's not the kicker, Elena."
"What do you mean?" Elena asked looking sideways at him as he stared hard at the ground
"Nothing, look, we should head back." Damon said standing up
"Why didn't you just tell me what she did when you came to my house? We could have avoided all of this if you just said something."
"Words are overrated. The supposed love of my life basically told me I wasted more than a century of this cursed existence, when I could have just done something better with my time than wait for a comet. I didn't need to talk Elena. I just needed to feel something." Damon answered with his eyes closed
"And killing my brother accomplished that?" Elena asked sharply
He shook his head, "No. I did that because I wanted to be the vampire that I am, a monster. I wanted a trigger to force me to shut down all my emotions because I was too close to the edge and the fall was too far. I couldn't even see the bottom."
Damon smiled into the distance, his eyes full of remorse and remembrance, "But when I heard you scream and fall to your knees, when I looked at you, I couldn't shut it off. I felt your pain. I felt my guilt. And even I couldn't forgive myself. So here we are."
Elena stood up and stared at him, rendered speechless by his honesty. She felt raw as she watched him place his hands in his pockets as he walked away towards the exit, "Let's go. We both know we can't forgive me just yet, so let's just go home."
"Wait," Elena called out, waiting for Damon to face her, "what's the kicker? What made you lose it?"
Damon knitted his eyebrows, debating whether or not to say the truth, "Past tense. Katherine told me she never loved me, that it was always Stefan. Past hurts, I'll get over that."
"But?" Elena asked, swallowing the lump that was forming in her throat
"Present and future—how do you deal with any reason to hope crushed in just a few words, Elena? I believe you said you care about me, but that you love Stefan. It's always going to be Stefan. Past, present and future. I lost one to Katherine and two to you. I had nothing to live for and I knew it. Even before I killed your brother, I already knew I lost you."
Damon smiled tightly and turned around again to continue walking, "Let's go," he called out, "It's late."
Elena stood silently, waiting until he was out of earshot, before falling apart and letting the sobs escape her, whispering the words they both should have heard that night, before it was too late.
"But I lied. Damon, I lied."