I remember the night before so damn well. Do you remember it? Because I do. I remember sitting there around that stupid little fire, and for once it was just the two of us, and we were in a cave for God knows what reason.

You had your arms wrapped around your knees and they were drawn up to your chest. I remember looking at you in mild wonder because it was so rare that you ever looked so vulnerable. We shared everything, the two of us, and we didn't need vulnerability to share our feelings when it was necessary. A quick glance at each other and we would know. The shift in the air, a slight change in the way the other carried himself, it was all so obvious.

But that night you looked so young and afraid. Your hair was in your eyes – I wanted to move it out of the way – but you didn't notice. You were far, far away from that stupid cave, and you were chewing on your bottom lip. Do you know how often you do that, Fred? Or did, I suppose I should say did. You did that all the time, and that's when I knew you were scared, or nervous, or whatever. Others just thought it was because you were thinking of something devious, something funny to come up with later and prank the rest of us with. They'd look for the same expression on my face.

And, of course, I had it. We both had that expression, but it was never for the reasons the rest of the world thought. We weren't always evil pranksters out to cause a laugh. We did have human sides.

But that night… I sat beside you and our shoulders were barely touching, but it was enough contact for the two of us. As long as I was touching you, I'd be all right. I just needed you near me; I've always needed you near me. I need you so much more now than I did even then, and now you're not even here to help me when I need it most. What I'd do to just feel your shoulder brush against mine one last time! What I'd do to just have you near me! People don't understand the insane need that a twin has to be near the other because they aren't a split soul.

I think it's the cruelest thing in the world, being an identical twin. Because you're never really whole unless the other one is around, because, let's face it, you weren't supposed to be two in the first place. We were one soul sharing two bodies.

Half my soul is gone, Fred, and it feels like my body is breaking, that's how empty it is.

That's how much I need you.

I told you that. Remember? Remember how I told you that, that night in the cave when we sat by the fire? I said "Fred, we best not die tomorrow."

And the flames flickered over your face, and a small, sarcastic smile crept over your lips. It was eerie for me to see that smile, because it only came out when you weren't really amused. I don't think anyone besides me and maybe Angelina ever saw that smile, and maybe Angelina never saw it either. I don't know. Were there things you shared with her and not me? Were there things you shared with me and not her? Were we equal in your eyes, or did I rest on a platform above?

Or, God forbid was I a step below your beloved Angel?

You said to me "You best not die tomorrow, Georgie, cause I don't think I could go on without you."

The flames continued to flicker, sending shadows around the cave, and I didn't know what to say. "You can't die either. I can't do anything without you. I've never done anything without you, much less lived without you."

And you sighed, that sad, sad sigh that you'd sometimes do, and you rested your head on my shoulder for the briefest of moments. "This damned war will bring about the end of days, and there's nothing you can say to convince me otherwise." The sat done in your voice was so haunting, so foreign, and I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how to fix it. I couldn't make it better.

I should have made it better, Fred.

Maybe then you would've stayed with me that day.

Why'd you have to go with Percy? Why'd you have to leave me in the cold? Why was I so damn unimportant that you had to just go off with the brother who'd forgotten about us for years? You knew your time was coming, Freddie! You knew it was right around the corner. You knew what was goin to happen, and you just let it happen.

You should have taken me with you.

We needed to be together.

How the hell are you going to exist? Floating about in purgatory, because there's no way there'll be a heaven for you without me. It just couldn't happen. You were – are – the most important thing in the world to me.

Was I ever that to you?

Why did you have to leave me?

You got the easy way out. Mum would kill me for saying that, but you did.

Dying is nothing compared to what my life is going to be now.

I would do anything for the same release that you have. I would do anything to just let go of this damned weight that's on my shoulders. I want to be somewhere pretty and sunny and I want to be with you, Fred. I can't be what this family needs me to be. I can't be two Weasley twins, because one person can't be a set of twins. It's just impossible.

They need us. The world needed us. There was, still is, so much sadness in the world.

And now you're gone….