So I was concerned that I actually suck at this and I figured I was just going to give it a shot then not try again, but I got some lovely and encouraging feedback and decided to continue.

Thanks for all the love!

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Disease: Consultation

"I think I may be dieing."

Thor jerked out of whatever mortal-centered daydream he had been blissfully caught up in at his friend's morbid, and very random, statement, and almost toppled over the ledge of the balcony. Fandral was oblivious to this and watched his prince with bright, worried eyes.

A quick glance over revealed no obvious injury or ailment; his coloring was fine, all limbs were attached, his breathing was regular, and there was no blood to be seen. (Even his hair looked well styled.)

"By what cause, my friend, and how did you come about this conclusion?" Thor asked after a moment of shocked silence.

Fandral began pacing the length of the balcony, pivoted at one end, and then walked back. Pivot, stride, pivot, stride, so on and so forth.

The thunder god noted that any possible injury was clearly not affecting his gait.

"I… do not know. But something is certainly wrong with me and has been since our return to Asgard."

Thor's brow furrowed. Other than missing his Jane he had felt no ill effects of being on Midgard, but perhaps he had been shielded by being in a mortal form.

What if there was some unknown disease in the mortal world that only affected Asgardians? What if by coming to rescue him Fandral had doomed himself?

Fandral had been a dear friend for many centuries and Thor would do anything to help him in his hour of need.

"Have you seen the healers?" he asked, Thor himself may have avoided the healers' chambers as if they were Helheim, but he had no trouble encouraging others to seek their arts.

"… I had been hoping to avoid the place…" Fandral muttered, running a hand through his hair restlessly.

"I cannot blame you for that sentiment." The thunder god agreed dryly. Still he worried, something about Fandral had been different lately, but Thor, so caught up in rebuilding the Bifrost and thinking on his Jane, had been remiss to the needs of his friends.

"But we must discover the cause of your illness and a cure for it." The prince of Asgard continued.

The shorter blond nodded in agreement. "Could we perhaps pursue this information with as much subtly as possible? It is not an affair I would wish to make common knowledge."

"Of course, my friend, this illness of yours will remain between whomever you deem trustworthy."

… well there was a loaded statement.

Trustworthy turned out to be Hogun, Volstagg, and the Lady Sif. He was quite sure if he had left any of the three out he would be dead before the disease could kill him off anyway. So they had gathered in one of their favorite chambers, perched about on different lounges and chairs.

As he explained his symptoms Hogun and Volstagg looked perplexed and horrified respectively (though for the latter it mostly concerned the lack of interest in food and drink.)

The reaction of the Lady Sif was most strange however. Arching a delicate brow the warrior maiden looked at him as though he had grown a second head.

(For a brief and horrible moment Fandral thought maybe a physical manifestation of his illness had occurred and ruined his visage, but quickly realized his other friends would have said something. Tact was not, after all, their specialty.)

"I think you're and idiot and a man, though at the moment those seem to be synonymous." She finally said bluntly. (Lack of tact in Asgard was apparently not gender specific.)

"Go see the healers, why the lot of you never do boggles the mind, and when they say there is nothing wrong with you take their word for it. Then continue as you have until the Bifrost in mended."

Fandral listened with rapt attention, as did the other men. Sif was no great healer nor master of medicine yet she seemed to know precisely what was happening to him. Where had this knowledge come from?

"And if there is no cure and it continues?"

"You are not dieing. Comfort yourself with that, though there is no cure for the stupidity that seems to be running rampant." Casting her glance at the others she saw they were just as dumbfounded.

Sif sighed deeply, this is what she got for having almost exclusively male friends. She stood from the lounge where she had been sitting and strode out of the room, she would call on Frejya, and maybe female company would dull the headache she could feel approaching.

Men, ugg.

Fandral, Hogun, Volstagg, and Thor watched Sif storm out of the room.

"I'm afraid I'm quite lost. If she knew what ailed me why did she not say so?" Fandral asked.

Thor shrugged, blue eyes large and confused in the face of (to his understanding) uncalled for female anger.

Volstagg's brow furrowed briefly, then, as in all other times of confusion, he went back to the tray of food before him.

And Hogun met Fandral's gaze evenly, "Women." The others nodded as though this was answer enough.

A/N: Fandral is told out right he's not dieing. Thor, Hogun, and Volstagg aren't being much help. Don't blame poor Fandral he's never been in love before or infatuated to a point were he doesn't even notice other women. Its really throwing him off.

Thor doesn't get it because Fandral is describing it as an illness and he isn't thinking about it as anything but a disease, had Fandral just listed his symptoms Thor would've known from the start, seeing as he's suffering from them himself.

I'm not too sure how to write Hogun or Volstagg yet, so they're a bit in the background for now. And I didn't mean to make Sif overly angry, but I feel like being surrounded by men who are completely blind to their own feelings would be…. frustrating, to say the least. She's totally going to bitch about their idiocy to Frejya, Norse goddess of love.

While this is a Darcy/Fandral story, Darcy won't be around for another few chapters. Honestly this is my attempt to do the opposite of the 'this is how Jane is fixing the wormhole and here's Darcy helping' stories (which I love because you get more Darcy) but I wanted to try and get a little insight into what was happening in the everyday life of Asgard post Earth visit.