Chapter two… straight forward, then. My sincere thanks to everyone who read or is reading this… really. I appreciate it, a lot.
This might be a bit longer than the last chapter.
This is not mine, I do not own it whatsoever.
Their midnight conversation was left to the shadows. Sebastian did not mention it, and Ciel was too exhausted from the scarce rest he had received to do much but follow his lead. He had enough to worry about without fear of his own mind. Lessons might have ceased at his sixteenth birthday, but the factories had not. Reports, employees, product orders, and of course, tasks from the Queen – that was his life now.
Tedium. Danger. A neverending quest for revenge.
And, of course, the nightmares. They took up so much of his life.
Ciel sighed and pushed away the papers before him. He had little time to waste, but the teen couldn't bring himself to care. Instead, he stood and made his way to his study window, looking out expressionlessly at the gardens. They had burned once. Perhaps they would again.
Wood smoke was a much more agreeable scent.
It was summer, this time – the traces from this blaze would spread considerably farther. One small flame. One dry twig. Then everything would be gone, leaving him exactly as he was as a child – with nothing left to lose.
He laughed sharply. Despite what he'd said to Sebastian, this frightened him more than he cared to admit to himself. Not the idea of everything being lost, no. The fact that he could see himself as the one destroying it.
"Master?"
Ciel didn't respond. Sebastian would say whatever it was and then go.
"I thought you would wish to be forewarned – the lady Elizabeth is planning a surprise visit within the hour."
This, at least, elicited a reaction – a sigh, colored slightly with exasperated affection. "Is she now?" One side of his mouth quirked up. "Make sure you put anything she can find a way to make pink out of her reach." He remained facing the window, hiding his one visible eye from Sebastian – though it was pointless. Ciel knew that the demon found his attachment to his betrothed somewhere between amusing and endearing.
"I believe," said Sebastian, his voice showing no trace of this, "she wishes to plan for your wedding."
Ciel froze, all positive emotion gone. "My – but – " He broke off helplessly. He had been told from the age of two that he would marry Elizabeth someday. It had never occurred to him that that 'someday' would be a reality. Naïve, he realized now, but true. How was he going to tell her that he couldn't marry her? Sebastian had noticed his silence.
"Whatever is the matter?"
"I – she – "
"Is such an arrangement so terrible? You clearly care for the lady, as you've proven many times over these past years."
For a moment, Ciel thought. Such a situation wouldn't be so awful, he did not deny that. He might find Elizabeth's femininity and shrillness irritating at first, but he would manage somehow. And the thought of seeing her smile – innocent and happy – on the day of their wedding gave him pause. He could marry Lizzy. He wouldn't need to worry about her safety in the world he lived in – she had proven that to him when they were no more than thirteen. He could live out his life with her – whatever was left of it. But then he would die. Likely within a few years of their marriage. Scarcely even enough time to leave her a widow with his child. And besides that… he did not love her as he should. He wasn't even sure he was capable of love. The secrets between them were too deep – how could he marry someone whom he could never explain his absences to, never even show his right eye? The only being he had no secrets from was Sebastian - He stopped that thought in its tracks. The demon still awaited an answer.
"I cannot." He turned to face him, and their eyes met. Sebastian broke the silence first.
"So noble, to spare her the pain of your death?" He spoke of the day their contract would end without pause or shame.
"Of course not." Ciel narrowed his left eye. "I do not pretend my motives are nobility. I've lied to enough people without lying to myself as well."
Amusement flashed in ruby eyes, and suddenly, Ciel had the feeling that he knew everything. Had seen into the soul he would take for his own, knew every emotion his master had, and had filed this information away for later use. It was not a pleasant feeling.
"And what does my master believe his motives are?"
His face was far too close. Ciel scowled.
"You can figure those out for yourself. Now go and prepare to welcome Elizabeth." He pushed him away, turned on his heel, and returned to his desk.
"CIELLLLLLL!" A blur of rose-colored dress and blonde ringlets enveloped him. She was two inches shorter than he was, now, and had aged into quite the beauty. He fiancé allowed himself to be spun around by her exuberance. "Hello, Lizzy," he said, even more weakly than usual. Would she still react like this when she saw him next?
"Aren't you finally going to give me a ring? You're going to be of age in half a year, that's not very long, and – ooh, what color will it be?"
"A – ring?"
"For the wedding, silly boy! It's going to be so wonderful, everything will be cute!" She beamed at him, green eyes sparkling. "Pretty please, Ciel?"
"H – hang on a moment, you only just got in the door – "
"Oh, of course!" She suddenly stood still and clasped her hands, the very image of a demure lady. "It's good to see you again." She bobbed a curtsy.
He allowed a slight smile. "As it is to see you."
"So, aren't we going to plan the wedding?" She smiled. "And Edward will have to come, even if he doesn't want to, because I'll make him."
Ciel winced. "Look, Lizzy, I –"
She was already running past him. "Let's go to the garden. Will there be roses? Of course, there have to be, red and pink, we'll have to have those at the wedding too, of course, they're dreadfully cute." Ciel didn't even have time to interject when she stopped to breathe – he was already being dragged across the hall.
The roses she wished to see were still there – scarlet stains on the greenery that reminded him of blood. Lizzy skipped through them like a butterfly or hummingbird, never ceasing to move.
"Ciel, look!" She held up an opening rose, crimson petals falling like liquid to the ground. He watched their flight –
- Drops of blood falling onto marble stone, spraying across the ones left, and some of them, with the light of insanity in their eyes (insanity that they would all fall to, it was only a matter of time) lifting the pools of red to their faces – so hungry – and those who were old enough or new enough to understand still crying, and his dry, empty eyes staring at it all, blood, tears, and the shell of the once-child on the altar, still curled as though to protect herself –
"Here, Ciel!"
And Lizzy was there, wide green eyes, and a bloody rose in her hand. She smiled at him, tucking the flower onto his summer jacket, or trying to. He hit her hands away.
"Don't put that on me."
If she had been watching, she would have seen the warning in his blue eye. But she wasn't – just as she hadn't been, five years ago – and she continued as though nothing had happened.
"Aww, it's so cute! Why won't you wear it?"
Another petal fell, and a wave of dizziness and nausea hit him.
"Put that flower away, Elizabeth." He closed his eyes. "Now."
"But – "
"Now!"
She blinked in shock. "A – all right. Would you rather a pink one?" She pulled another rose, leaving a gap in the hedge, but Ciel had turned away.
"Leave me alone, Elizabeth." He squeezed his eyes tighter shut against the onslaught of images.
"I –" She reached for his arm. "What's wrong?" An instant, and she tried to embrace him.
"Let go."
"But – "
"Let. Go." Without stopping to think, he pushed her aside.
As children, that would not have mattered. Ciel had been a tiny child, and even at seventeen he was lean and thin. But even so, now – he was taller, broader, than Lizzy was.
Stronger.
She knew how to fall. She had to know how to fall. But perhaps she had been so startled by his sudden motion, afraid of something in his face.
Whatever the reason, she stumbled back. Fell to the side across a stone bench, her eyes shocked as a bit of true blood appeared on her arm.
"C - Ciel." Her voice was a whisper.
He almost helped her up. He almost apologized, almost held her and told her it wasn't her fault, and not to be upset.
He didn't.
He didn't want to.
A sudden hand gripped his shoulder. "Forgive us, my lady, but I believe you should go." Sebastian was cool and collected as ever, but he had Ciel in a tight grip. "My master wishes to retire for some time."
At this, the younger man did try to struggle free. "You – no – Let me go!"
"I cannot do so until you collect yourself," he said flatly. As they turned, Ciel ripped another rose from the hedge. The thorns bit into his hand, staining it red.
He tore the flower apart himself, silken petals tumbling to the ground like tears, leaving imprints of red under his nails.
Only then did he allow himself to be led away.
Despite what Sebastian had said, Elizabeth did not leave the garden immediately.
She fixed her rumpled clothes. Expertly bandaged the small cuts on her arm.
She still saw the expression on her fiancé's face. Anger, yes, but more pain. Such pain she had fallen back in fear.
Even after he had returned from the fire, she had never seen such pain.
So when she picked up the fallen petals, still torn and furrowed, she closed her eyes for a moment. The words escaped her like a prayer.
"Ciel Phantomhive," she whispered. "I don't know where you are… but please, come back to me."
The only answer was the rustle of rose petals.