Hello There! Lona, once again, writing because of you amazing people! The amount of emails I received due to story alerts, author alerts, and reviews were substantial! Keep it up and this story may just help you through the whole darn summer! I love you guys!

ENJOY!

A ding. A beep. An elevator stopping at the floor. A nurse swiftly making her way to another patient. Though it was already 2 a.m., there was still quite a bit of commotion through the corridor. A male detective sitting in a sofa chair next to his friend/co-worker. The female detective ran her nimble fingers through her hair, retracting her arm as she felt the crusty surface of her fingers come in contact with her scalp. She grimaced, finally noticing the dried blood coating her fingers, nails, and palm. A hand made its way upon her shoulder, shaking her out of her reverie and her gaze made its way slowly up the arm to see who it belonged to. It belonged to her long time co-worker, Kevin Ryan. His usually playful cerulean eyes were shaded over and bloodshot, filled with worry as he opened his mouth to whisper to her.

"Kate, why don't you go home and cha-"

"No." Shaking her head, Beckett didn't let him complete his suggestion before she interrupted him.

"Kate, he's still in surgery. And after the surgery, he won't be awake. Don't you want to be wearing something that's not covered in his blood when he does wake up?" He indicated to her shirt and grabbed her wrist gently. "Kate, you're tired and stressed; emotionally and physically. We all just lost Roy and you just watched Castle get shot."

Beckett slowly met his gaze and bit her lip as she saw the dark rings surrounding his clouded blue eyes, the dark stubble aligning his well-defined jaw, and his short but feathery brown hair was sticking up in every direction. All the indicators of a man who was troubled and hasn't had enough sleep for a while.

"Kev…I can't leave. I just can't." Surprising herself as well as Ryan, she reached out and ran her hand over his stubble, looking worriedly into his eyes. "But you should." He raised his hand to protest, but was silenced by her grasping her hand in his softly. "You look like you haven't slept in weeks. Go home, hold Jenny in your arms, and tell her how much you love her."

Blue clashed with green as they argued silently through their eyes. Ryan didn't want to leave her alone, not after all she had been through in the past week alone. Though they may not seem like it, they are as close as siblings could be in their profession. After her fight with Castle, she had called him, asking him if he wanted to have a drink and she told him what happened. He knew not to push her or pressure her into doing anything, but she needed help. In the decade that Ryan had known Kate, only one person could ever ask her to stand down, and she complies. Not even Roy was able to do that and he was the one signing the paychecks. But, alas, the writer was now fighting for his life in surgery.

Ryan had been standing by a tree, a few feet away from the crowd, admiring Beckett's ability to keep it together as she spoke to the mourning crowd of family and friends. In his peripheral vision, he saw Castle's gaze shift away from Beckett for the first time that service. He turned around immediately, freeing his gun from the holster upon his hip and ran towards where the bullet had came from. The thought of being in danger and running up to a trained killer didn't even cross his mind. The thought of catching the son of a bitch that caused all this hell to Beckett was enough to keep him running. It was enough to let him speed up and roll out of a bullets way when the sniper turned around in haste. It was enough to allow him to continue even after his gun was shot out of his hand. It was enough for him to tackle the man and beat him to a pulp with his bare hands, just as Castle once did to save Beckett's life two months before. It was enough for him to shoot him with no hesitation when his partner finally caught up to him. Ryan didn't even flinch as brain matter and blood splattered over 35% of his body as he stood in close proximity to the unconscious man on the ground.

Looking down from her piercing gaze, he looked at their connected hands resting upon his scrubs covered knee. A nurse had gotten blue scrubs for him after she got over the shock of blood and tissue that had been scattered upon his clothing. Beckett and he were the only remaining of the group that had originally gathered in the waiting room about 10 hours ago. Esposito had taken Lanie home after she eventually cried herself to sleep in his arms. Jim went home with Martha and Alexis after an hours' worth of bargaining and persuading. Now it was Ryan's turn to try to convince Beckett to go home.

Yes, Ryan did want to go home and hug his fiancé and tell her how much he loved her. He had heard Castle's admittance as the writer slowly faded from consciousness. In this week, Ryan had learned the hard way how short life is and how you never know if you or someone you love is going to die. Especially if someone you love is somehow involved in police work. But as much as he would love to go home, he would always put Beckett's happiness before his.

"I'm not going home. But you are." He looked into her eyes once again and saw the surprise from the sternness in his voice.

"Didn't you just hear wh-" Stubbornly, she protested, but was interrupted by a now impatient and frustrated voice.

"Goddammit, Kate. Stop trying to be superwoman, because you're not. You just lost your mentor and work-father. Now, your…whatever the hell he is, is fighting for his damn life inside that operating room after selflessly taking a bullet for you." He sighed. "Kate, just go home, go shower or bathe, go hug your dad and tell him you love him. Hug Alexis and Martha and give them hope. Don't try to put up walls and act like you're fine because you're sure as hell not fooling anyone anymore."

For the first time in a long time, she felt her walls slowly reside and felt the tears, that she refused to cry, cascade down her cheeks slowly as she shut her eyes. A calloused thumb brushed her tears away and she realized that she wasn't fooling anyone. Finally being honest with herself, she let herself admit that she was scared as hell.

"I can't lose him, Kev…" Her whisper almost inaudible that Ryan nearly missed it, but he knew what she had said.

"Just let it out, Kate. There's no one here to prove that you're strong." Silently, her shoulders shook against him and to anyone else; it looked as if she might've been laughing into her friend's chest. But Ryan felt the wetness seeping through the thin hospital fabric and held her closer to him.

"That idiot. Why would he do that?" She clutched onto the shirt, fisting it in her hand. "He has a family! Why would he be stupid enough to take a bullet for me?"

Ryan opened his mouth to talk, but closed it once she began talking again.

"It should've been me! His family, friends, fans, and hell, even strangers who read "page six" would miss him if he died. But for me –"

"You better finish that sentence with the exact same damn thing you just said for Castle." His voice was filled with frustration and anger and it shocked Beckett. "Kate, you honestly think that no one would miss you and mourn terribly if you ever get hurt or die? If you do, you're stupid."

Scoffing, she opened her mouth with a rebuttal, but was instantly silence with one glare from icy blue eyes.

"You're the best damn detective in the United States and definitely the youngest at your level. You've put families that were devastated and broken, just like yours, to rest. For 10 years, you dug yourself into finding justice for these people out of the pureness of your heart. You are a role model to many and must have boxes full of awards from several different sources. Don't be so damn modest, or stupid, and say that no one on this goddamn earth will miss you."

Beckett shut her eyes tightly at the end of his short rant. She deserved it. She knew he was right, but she can't justify Castle risking everything for a measly detective when he could be dating a big-time celebrity.

As if he read her mind, Ryan spoke up once more, now in a gentler voice. "As for Castle, you heard what he said when he was about to slip from consciousness. And if the reason he's been following you around all these years isn't obvious, then I'm sorry, Kate, but you're not as good of a detective then I thought you were."

"Why do you think he's been following you around? What, research? Man's got enough research to write 50 books. Look, whatever the reason is, I'm pretty sure it's not to watch you be with another guy."

"You will meet an Alexander, and he will be extremely important to you…. at some future date he may save your life."

"We kiss and we never talk about it. We nearly die, frozen in each others' arms, and we never talk about it. So no, I got no clue what we are."

"You know what I thought when I first met you? That you were a mystery I was never going to solve. Even now, after spending all this time with you, I'm still amazed at the depth of your strength, your heart, your hotness."

"Risking our hearts is why we're alive. The last thing you want to do is look back on your life and wonder if only."

"I love you, Kate."

Her head fell into her hands and she nodded her head.

"Ok. Okay, I'll go. But promise me you will call me the minute the doctor comes out. Please."

"Always."

Her eyes widened and her palm covered her open mouth as she quietly gasped. Tears pooled in her eyes as that one word rained down upon her.

"Thanks for being there…"

"Always."

"Thank you. For having my back in there."

"Always."

"From now on, I'm a one writer girl."

"Thank you."

"Always."

You guys are truly amazing :) And if there are any anon readers out there, please take the time to write an anonymous review! It really does help and fellow writers know that as well :) So, please review with any love, suggestions, ideas, advice, hate, or criticism! It is all welcomed and encouraged!

-Lona :)