Chapter 2
Over Thinking
Edward POV
I watched the deer drink some water from a nearby pond and I let my instincts take over. Except this time, I was thinking about her. I pounced and sank my teeth into its jugular, drinking greedily until it had no more to give me. I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand and took in my surroundings. I heard a mountain lion nearby and the demon inside me smiled. She was so beautiful; I didn't even get her name. And when I got home I practically ripped my hair out from all the pulling and tugging. I don't know why I didn't go after her. Why did I listen? Why? What if she didn't make it home? This is ridiculous, I'm hunting and here I am thinking about a human. I sighed and the mountain lion glanced around nervously. I mentally slapped my forehead. Why would I do that? I was too deep in thought to really mind my family behind me.
I tugged on my hair and rubbed my hands along my face the way a human would. I saw the mountain lion and I crouched, waiting for it to run into my hands. It ran past me and like the idiot I was being, I was too caught up in my thoughts about that girl. I didn't even get her name. I bet it's pretty and fits her perfectly. I glanced to my left and growled menacingly when I saw the mountain lion a few miles away. I stood out of my crouch and ran to it, tackling it easily. It clawed and bit at me, but I didn't care. Bella was pretty feisty. Usually girls throw themselves at me. She was able to tell me no and was able to send me home. How the-? The mountain lion somehow spit on my face, snapping me out of my thoughts. I felt the dull burning in the back of my throat and shrugged. I might as well drink it. I bit into its jugular and once again, couldn't stop myself from draining it quickly. The warm blood felt soothing against my irritated throat and calmed it. I breathed a sigh of relief when my throat no longer ached and I was finished with my meal. I got up and wiped myself off, seeing how it cut my shirt. I huffed in annoyance and took it off.
I gave her my shirt. I wonder if she still has it. I hope she does. I mean, when I went to go see her the next day, it was left on the rock that I found her on. I went back for a week, hoping to at least see her from a distance, but she wasn't there. I left the shirt, so I'd have a reason to talk to her. I pinched the bridge of my nose. When will I see her again? I contained my inner monster and noticed my whole family watching me intently.
Is he okay? What has my poor son so unfocused? I've never seen him like this before. My poor baby. –Esme
What's wrong Edward? You seem a little uncomfortable…You know, it really hurts to watch you struggle. -Carlisle
What is taking him so long? I want to go home and wash the dirt out of my hair. –Rosalie
He's feeling so confused. Want some help? –Jasper
Dude, what's gotten into him? He looks anxious. Wow, I've never used that word before. Ohh I smell a bear… I wonder if Rosalie would let me play with it for a little while before we go home… –Emmett
Edward, what's wrong? Do you want to talk about it? And no, I am not looking into the future to see what's wrong. I respect your privacy…but you know I'm here if you want to talk, right? I don't like seeing you upset. –Alice
I nodded to Jasper and all the confusion and frustration I felt vanished. I sighed in relief and smiled at Alice. "I like you." She laughed and bounced up and down, "I like you, too. Does this mean I get to style your hair?" "No." Her face fell and she pushed her lower lip out, pouting at me. "Aw… how cute. Too bad I'm not your husband, so I don't have to do what you say." She glared and stuck her tongue out at me. "Can we go now?" Rosalie was playing with her nails and looking extremely irritated. I nodded and we all started running home.
We got there 30 minutes later and I was already in the doorway when I smelled her. My heart jumped and I listened, looking for her heart beat. Everyone was behind me and Rosalie was getting even more upset because I randomly stopped running. I backed up and I guess my expression had my family watch me. I sniffed again and turned to look at our house. I walked back in and saw a neatly folded shirt with a small piece of paper on the stairs. I picked it up and recognized it as my shirt. The note said: Sorry. The door was unlocked and I felt really bad about going this far into your house, so I stopped. Thanks. See you (:
I looked at the shirt and back at the note and I didn't realize I was smiling until Alice jumped on my back and looked over my shoulder, "Who's it from?" I dropped it and looked at her, trying to hide my smile. It didn't work. "None of your business." I stuck my tongue out at her and she copied my actions before sliding off me and mumbling, "It's cuter when I do it." I laughed and bent down to kiss her cheek before it hit me. I never kiss Alice's cheek. I was too far to stop, so I just went with it. She beamed at me and started bouncing again. Ahh, he kissed my cheek! Should I hug him? I want to… Her eyes glazed over for a second and she stopped bouncing, but kept smiling at me. I smiled back and then to my family before I ran upstairs to my room. She came here. She came to see me. And I wasn't here! How'd she find our house? How'd she get here when I wasn't here? Why couldn't she come back? Would she be there right now? I checked my watch and opened my door.
Alice enthusiastically waved at me and I smiled and closed my door. I looked at my window. I slid it open and jumped out. I ran to the beach and saw her sitting on the rock. I didn't think twice as I jumped in and swam to her rock. I made some noise to alert her I was there and I heard her pull her feet out of the water. I got on the rock and sat beside her. She again, wasn't wearing anything, so I shrugged out of my shirt and gave it to her, which she happily accepted. Ugh, this was getting so frustrating. She was staring up at me with her big brown doe eyes and I had no idea what was going on in her pretty little head. "So, you think my head is pretty?" She smirked at me and I stared at her dumbfounded. How did she know that? "You said it out loud." She smirked at me again and I was thankful I wasn't human, otherwise I'd blush.
"Thank you." I smiled at her and then I remembered to ask, "Why didn't you wait for me?" She shrugged, "I didn't want to be there in case a girlfriend or a date showed up. Or your family." I nodded and automatically replied, "I'm single. I don't date." Her eyebrows shot up and I fought my smile, "None of the girls at my school have caught my eye." I cursed too low for her to hear. How could I say that? She probably thinks I'm hitting on her. She just smiled at me, "Same here. None of the boys from home have caught my eye." She bit her bottom lip and I swallowed back the venom that had pooled in my mouth at the very thought of kissing someone with a pulse. I'd probably lose control and kill her. She turned back to the ocean and I asked, "Why do you come here at night?" I scooted a little closer to her, not realizing until I had already done it. She glanced at my hand and I felt my heart thud irregularly. I wish I could grab her hand. Why? "Why don't you?" I muttered a reply without thinking it through, "I have no idea." I looked up and then looked away, embarrassed when I realized I had said that out loud.
I felt her warm fingers graze the back of my hand slowly, enough to make my throat throb slightly and my mind go ballistic. Why would she do that? Did she like it? Did I like it? I loved it. Should I tell her that? Should I grab her hand? Should I tell her she looks beautiful in the moonlight? Should I say something? Should I scoot closer? Do I want to scoot closer? Yeah, I do. I wonder how she'd feel under my arm, tucked into my side. I wonder if she'd like it. I wish I could. But, she's human and I couldn't risk it. We don't belong together. Yeah, this isn't weird at all. I want to act like she's my girlfriend even though I don't know her name and this is the second time I talked to her. "What's your name?" She looked at the waves in the distance as she said, "Bella." "Is that short for something… or…?" She nodded, "Isabella, but call me Bella." I smiled and nodded, "Okay, Bella."
I listened to her heart beat and I turned to look at her. She was captivating. I couldn't look away, even when she caught me. I stared into her big brown eyes, completely speechless. I tried several times to think of what to say, but my mind went completely blank and I had no idea what to do or say. Her hair was completely dry and a strand kept falling in her eyes. She had it mixed in with her bangs, even though it was too long to be there. I carefully parted her bangs and plucked the hair out. I put it in place and then ran my fingers through her hair to fix it. She smiled at me and decided to flick a strand of my hair off my forehead. I smiled back and I kept thinking that I shouldn't be with her. She's human; I could easily kill her with a flick of my wrist. But, as I got lost in her beautiful eyes, I couldn't bring myself to care about the fact that we couldn't be together. It got darker and she had a spaced out look, so I said, "I think I should go. Are you coming?" She nodded and I could see her bottom lip between her teeth. We swam back to shore quickly and she looked at my shoes and pants again while raising her eyebrows. "I wanted to see you." I put my hands in my pockets and she chuckled. I thought I heard her mutter, "Cute." under her breath, but I must've heard wrong. "May I walk you home, now?"
She shook her head and I didn't budge. "I'm not allowing you to walk home alone in nothing but my shirt." She took my face in her hands and I pulled away, knowing I'd get lost in her eyes again and somehow end up at home just like last time. She tried to pull my face and I chuckled and pulled away again. "Oh no, you don't. I will not let you trick me again." She tried to glare, but ended up smiling instead. I gave her my arm and she took it. "Lead the way, little lady." She laughed and pulled me towards a road. I looked down at her feet and stopped walking. She stared at me and I crouched in front of her. "Get on." She hesitated and said, "I don't have a choice, do I?" I smiled, "Nope." She huffed and got on my back. I lifted her easily, "Where to?" She pointed left and I walked, trying to ignore how much I was enjoying her closeness to me. She rested her chin on my shoulder and I liked it. I tried to ignore that too, but then she turned her head and looked at me. I glanced at her, expecting her to turn away, but she didn't. She reached up and wiped my cheek with her finger. My eyelids drooped automatically, but I forced them open. I stopped and looked at her. "There was something on your cheek." I nodded and she pointed right, so I went right. After a while of silent walking, I brought her to some apartments. She made no move to get off and I was glad because if she did, I would've tightened my hold on her. "I have to go, you know." I nodded and set her on her feet. "You're short." That received a slight smack on my shoulder, which I only grinned at. She went up the stairs and waved as she entered her apartment. I stood there for a few minutes and smiled when she peeked through her curtains.
I went home after that and smiled the whole way. I walked at a human speed, going over everything that had happened in my head. I shouldn't be feeling this way about her. I decided after a very heated argument in my head, that I'd only be her friend. I knew I wasn't a good friend for her, but I needed to be around her. I couldn't stay away from her, even if I tried. I got home 30 minutes later and opened the front door, to find Alice staring at me. My hair was still slightly damp and my jeans had barely stopped dripping, but you could tell they were soaked. My shoes squeaked when I walked and she stared at me questioningly. "Where have you been? Where is your shirt? Why are you all wet? And why do you smell like a girl? And why are you smiling like an idiot?" I tried to wipe the smile off my face, but I couldn't. I shrugged and walked up the stairs, still at human speed.
I blocked out their thoughts as best I could and closed the door to my room, putting on my stereo, not really caring about the music that came on. I sat on my couch and thought about why I like Bella so much. Maybe I just need a friend. I heard a knock on my door and went to open it. Jasper was in the doorway and asked to come in. I nodded and he sat on my couch. I sat down across from him and he asked, "Why are you so confused?" I shrugged. "Your emotions change every 5 seconds. First you're happy, and then you're confused, and then you're sad, and then you're depressed, and then you go back to your brooding self. Then, you get confused and then you get happy again. What is up with you?" "Good question." He looked deep in thought for a moment and I ignored his thoughts because I'd rather think about Bella again. "Maybe you should just be a friend, if you're this confused." I looked at him and nodded, "Thanks, Jasper." He grinned, "Any time. And I already got it. No telling the Mrs." I heard Alice yell from the stairs, "HEY!" I laughed, grateful that Jasper hadn't said I should be 'her' friend because then Alice's suspicions would have been heightened and she wouldn't shut up about it. I sat back and tried to think if I could be her friend. I'm sure I could. I'm sure she'd rather be friends because she said she doesn't date. There was still a very annoying part of me inside that was hoping I could be with her, in that way. Maybe I've just been alone for too long that I'd go for her because she was there. I was thinking about how lonely I am when I first saw her. And the fact that she was on a rock pretty far out in the ocean, made me want to protect her. I don't ever remember being so protective of a human before. I literally jumped in the water as soon as my family wasn't paying attention. I didn't bother undressing or taking the money or my phone out of my pocket. I needed to make sure she was okay. Well, I know I've been feeling a little lonely lately; maybe I do need a friend.
I groaned and pulled at my hair, "Jasper." I felt calmness take over my mixed emotions and I sighed in relief, "Thanks." I heard him from the next room, "No problem." I sat back again, letting the music drown out the curious thoughts of my siblings and my parents for that matter. I think too much. Bella makes me think too much. I haven't had much experience with girls and she just makes all common sense go out the window. Everything I do in her presence is based on my inner human instincts. She seems to bring them out and I've only seen her twice. Ahh, why can't my brain shut up! "Jasper." I huffed when I felt calm again. "Stop over thinking things Edward and we won't have his problem." I nodded even though he couldn't see me and tried to get lost in the song I was listening to. It helped and I eventually relaxed. That is, until I remembered I was in wet clothes. I began stripping and took a shower. When I got out 10 minutes later, I smiled.
"Edward, stop over thinking it." Jasper growled, clearly annoyed by my frequently changing emotions. I ignored him and thought of Bella. She still had my shirt. I get to see her again. But what if I have to wait another week? I shouldn't be waiting at all. I shouldn't even be her friend. I'm bad for her. "EDWARD." I heard Jasper cursing me in his thoughts and then I heard a door slam. Alice came into my room, "What are you feeling that made Jasper go away?" She pouted at me and I knew she was trying to get answers out of me. And I knew just the way to shut her up. I leant forward and kissed her cheek, "You're such a good little sister." She squealed and skipped out my door. I heard Jasper groan from outside, "Alice, stop over thinking, please! I swear, you guys are messing with me on purpose." I chuckled and let my thoughts go to Bella for the millionth time tonight. I could try to be her friend and if things get too bad, I'll just stay away from her. Simple as that.
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