The Freezer Jr. Squad part 1
Zarbon was asleep having one of those anxiety dreams, he's had the same dream for about a week now, especially since his younger sister just gave birth to a daughter about a few months ago, that didn't help. He had a dream that he was in the hospital and he was helping Liya give birth, "Push Liya you can do it!" he yelled.
She screamed in pain, the strange part was that she and Zarbon were very different species and there was no way that in real life they would be able to produce a child. All the sudden he heard a baby crying, "Congratulations Zarbon it's a girl!" said the doctor.
"I'm a father! Yes!" Zarbon jumped up into the air all excited, he then grabbed the baby and held it in his arms, "Hello poppet, how are you?" he asked the baby.
Then when he unveiled the blanket off the baby's head it was the face of Freezer, the baby looked up and said, "Surprise! " then it started laughing.
"NOOOO!" yelled Zarbon.
Then he woke up, "Holy shit, not again!" he yelled. He got out of bed and ran to the bathroom and turned on the water and pulled the drain up, the when the sink was full he dipped his head in the sink and came back up again with half of his hair soaked while the other half wasn't. He looked in the mirror and frowned, "Damn anxiety dreams, how you mock me!" he yelled.
He then went to the restraint for breakfast to meet Kiwi and Apple there, his two best friends in the universe, who used to look after him when he was a child. "How did you sleep last night?" asked Kiwi smoking a cigarette.
Zarbon then lit a cigarette and started smoking to the point where he started coughing, "Take is easy, it's a cigarette not a pipe!" said Apple inhaling a cigarette too.
"It was horrible! I had that same dream last night!" said Zarbon.
"Again, does it involve you helping Liya give birth only to find out that its Freezer's love child?" asked Kiwi.
"I don't know if it was Freezer's love child, the dream never says!" said Zarbon.
"Don't be too tactless Kiwi; you'll hurt poor Zarbon's feelings." Apple said.
"What in the world do you mean?" asked Kiwi.
"He wishes that he could have a child, maybe not with Liya but remember how jealous he got when he found out that his sister was pregnant?" asked Apple.
"I'm still pissed off about it, I should have become a parent first!" said Zarbon banging his fist on the table.
"Trust me, kids are nothing but trouble, I mean I've never been a father myself, but when I used to babysit you, you caused all kinds of trouble, and then when you started rebelling again Freezer, that was asking for more trouble." Kiwi said.
"I was how old?" asked Zarbon.
"You were very young!" said Apple.
"Sorry I caused a lot of trouble for you both." Zarbon said.
"It's all right. You were just a kid stuck in an unfortunate situation." Kiwi said puffing on his cigarette.
"Kiwi you're being trackless again." Apple said.
"Right, right." Kiwi said.
Suddenly Freezer's voice came over the intercom, "Everyone that is important to me as a warrior report outside immediately! That is all!" yelled Freezer's woman sounding voice.
Zarbon was standing outside, next to Apple, Dodoria, Shasha, Vegeta, Nappa, Liya and Raddiz. Freezer then stepped outside wearing a comic mustache, everyone tried not to laugh, but then Vegeta raised his hand, "What is it Vegeta!" yelled Freezer.
"Sorry to ask this, but why do you look like a Nazi?" he asked laughing his butt off.
"That is none of your concern and if any of you ask me again, you'll be asking for trouble! Now let's see if all of you are here!" yelled Freezer. He looked at his most powerful warriors, "Where is Kiwi?" asked Freezer.
All the sudden Kiwi ran outside and stood in line, "Must I ask why you are late?" asked Freezer.
"Sorry I was doing my business, sir!" yelled Kiwi saluting Freezer, then he noticed his comical mustache and started laughing, then Zarbon stepped on his foot, "Ouch why did you do that?" asked Kiwi.
"Ok pay attention, I have something very important to tell all of you! I contacted the local orphanage and decided to adopt a bunch of orphans, two girls and seven boys!" yelled Freezer sounding even more girly than usual; he grew a comic mustache, which did not help at all. Kiwi started snickering and then everyone else started snickering quietly except for Shasha and Dodoria, Freezer's most ruthless solders other then Vegeta, but the difference was that Vegeta had no respect for Freezer whatsoever.
"The next person who laughs will be sentence to death!" yelled Freezer. Everyone then stopped snickering. "Now I shall pair you all up as soon as the children get here!" yelled Freezer.
All the sudden a floating bus appeared. "They're here!" said Dodoria.
All the sudden the door opened up and all the kids went running to Freezer, they were no more than ten years old; the odd thing was that they were just primal changelings, Zarbon and Shasha's species, and Freezer's species the Icejin changelings. They all looked at the kids, they looked so cute and innocent those cute little ten year olds, perhaps even younger. All the sudden Vegeta got mad, "Why aren't there any Sayain children?" he asked.
"I'll explain, now! The reason is because most of the population on planet Freezer consists of my species, and the second most populated species are the primal changelings! Plus the Sayains are almost extinct due to that comet!" said Freezer emphasizing with his fingers.
"I thought you said that it was a meteor that killed the Sayains!" said Raddiz.
"Oh that's right, sorry my memory isn't what it used to be, me being about two hundred years old!" said Freezer laughing suspiciously. "Anyways I will now pair you all up now!" yelled Freezer.
"Shasha will be paired up with uh hold on!" Freezer pulled a list out and looked at the names and the species next to the names, "Oh yah will be paired up with Alyosha!" Freezer said.
A little primal changeling with purple eyes, thick black hair and dark blue skin like Shasha's stepped into view, "Why I believe that he's from your planet too Shasha!" yelled Freezer.
Then little Alyosha walked up to Shasha and innocently looked up at him, "Здравствуйте учитель!" yelled the little primal changeling with great enthusiasm, Shasha's eyes grew wide, he was a little shocked to see someone greeting him so enthusiastically.
He chuckled, "Здравствуй ученик!" yelled Shasha back.
Then Vegeta got pissed off yet again, "God will you speak English or at least Japanese! God recruiting someone who can't even speak our tongue how lame!" yelled Vegeta.
Shasha and the child looked at Vegeta as if he was some ignorant bigot, then little Alyosha said to Shasha, "Какой дурак!"
Shasha nodded his head yes and said, "Да я знаю!"
Then Freezer looked at the list again, "Vegeta since you are now fourteen and can fight with us, you are paired up with Aleister!" yelled Freezer. Then Aleister walked up to Vegeta, he looked like a pint-sized changeling that resembled a mini Freezer.
"Oh great what luck!" yelled Vegeta.
"Kiwi you're paired up with Winston!" said Freezer. Winston was another changeling boy with brown skin and red eyes who walked up to Kiwi and stood beside him.
"Apple you are paired up with Grisha!" said Freezer. The small primal changeling boy with the gold eyes, green hair and the turquoise skin color similar to Zarbon's, walked and stood next to Apple.
"Oh great another pint sized Zarbon! You don't speak Russian too do you?" asked Apple.
"Nope I may have a Russian name, but I'm completely Anglo-sized!" yelled the little boy.
The paring went on for another half an hour; Raddiz got a primal changeling boy that had blond hair, brown skin and gold eyes that went by the name Andre. Nappa got a changeling boy with black thick hair, purple skin and purple eyes, named Niles. A changeling boy named Lindsey, a little white changeling with red eyes black hair, paired up with Dodoria.
Then there were two girls left, one was a changeling with purple hair, red eyes and brown skin and the other girl left was a primal changeling with dark blue hair, gold eyes, and turquoise skin. Freezer looked at the girls, "Ok there are two left, let's see Liya will be paired up with Sylvia!" said Freezer. The changeling girl then went over to Liya and smiled, "Hello" she said.
Liya noticed that one of her eyes were sealed over and had a huge scar on it, she was a little shocked, "Hello" said Liya.
The only person left was the little primal changeling girl, she was the smallest of them all, and perhaps the cutest, she had her hair up in a ponytail with a red ribbon in her hair. "Oh boy I was afraid this would happen!" yelled Freezer.
"Afraid what would happen?" asked Raddiz.
"That one of you men would be paired up with a girl, I didn't want any sex to go on!" said Freezer. Everyone looked with wide eyes at Freezer, "I guess that means that Darla is paired up with Zarbon!" said Freezer.
Everyone started laughing as little Darla walked over to Zarbon shyly and looked up at him. "Zarbon is paired up with a girl! This is too funny!" yelled Dodoria.
"Yah and she must be his new girlfriend!" yelled Shasha.
"It's like they say, everything happens for a reason!" yelled Kiwi laughing with them.
"Kiwi you're supposed to be on my side remember?" Zarbon said.
"Oh that's right, sorry!" said Kiwi blushing.
"Now this is the future Freezer Jr. Squad, they are to stay with you for two weeks so that you train them to use laser guns; they are to hang out with you! Then after your mission of taking care of them is done, they will be sent to the new Freezer Jr. Squad Military Academy once it's built! If either of you fuck this thing up, you'll report to me! Good day!" then Freezer walked away back inside the palace.
Everyone just stood there with his or her Freezer Jr. Squad member each, not knowing what to do next. "Uh what are we supposed to do?" asked Kiwi.
"I say we get started!" said Dodoria taking Lindsey by the hand and walking him inside.
"Давай!" yelled Shasha taking Alyosha by the hand.
Everyone else walked into the palace with their Freezer Jr. Squad members, except Zarbon and Darla. Zarbon looked at the small girl, pissed off that he ended up with a girl instead of a boy like all the other men did, "Well I have to go now bye!" he then walked away as he was doing that, he noticed that she was following him.
"Did you hear me I said goodbye!" He then tried to walk away again, but she continued to follow him.
"Look its bad enough that I got paired up with a girl! Why couldn't I be paired up with a boy instead?" he asked aloud.
She burst out laughing, "You're funny!" she said with her little girl proper English sounding pitch.
"Oh so you can talk, why didn't you say hi to me before?" asked Zarbon.
"Because I'm not allowed to talk to strangers, mum used to say that to me!" she said.
"Where is she?" asked Zarbon.
"She died and when that happened the government put me in the orphanage with all the other orphans." She said.
"What about your father?" asked Zarbon?
"I never knew him; he died before I was born." She said sadly.
"Look I feel for you really I do, but I still don't understand why I ended up with a girl!" said Zarbon.
"Whether you like it or not you're stuck with me for two weeks, at least until Freezer gets that boarding military children's school built so that my friends and I can attend it." She said.
Later on, they went to Zarbon's room, which was well organized, she then started jumping on the bed, "Don't' jump on the bed you're going to break it!" he yelled.
"Sorry it's just that you're so boring that I have to have fun somehow!" she yelled. Then Zarbon's black Devon Rex kitten Blacky rubbed up against Darla, "You have a kitten?" she asked.
"Yes I got Blacky as a birthday present." Zarbon said.
"I always wanted a cat," she said picking Blacky up and holding him.
"It looks like you have made a new friend Blacky!" said Zarbon smiling. He then went in front of the mirror and sat down, took his braid out, got a comb and started combing his thick, long green hair.
She looked at him, "Wow your hair is beautiful!" she said.
"Thank you," he said. She then got over how pretty his hair was, went to his cabinate, and went through his drawlers and she started throwing his underwear all over the place. Zarbon noticed in the mirror what she was doing and gasped and ran over to her, took her hand and smacked it really hard, "Bad girl, that's very naughty!" he said in a stern, angry voice.
She then started crying, Zarbon started to feel sorry for her, "Don't cry! Please, I don't like to see girls cry!" he said, but she continued to cry. He then thought about what to do to make her feel better, then an idea came to him, "I'm going to dress you up really pretty, I'll be right back!" he then ran out of the room.
Meanwhile in Liya's room she was showing Sylvia around, "This is where I use the water closet!" she said showing Sylvia the bathroom.
"What if I need to take a dump?" asked Sylvia.
Liya rolled her eyes, "That's what the water closet is for," she said all confused.
All the sudden Zarbon barged in, "Liya do you have any girl clothing?" he asked.
She looked at him, "Well I do have cloths left over from when my daughter was alive." She said.
"What happened to your daughter?" asked Sylvia.
"It's a long story, I'll tell you later." She said.
"Liya those cloths, I'll owe you one I promise!" said Zarbon.
"All right, all right, hold on!" she then went into her closet and got her now dead daughter's cloths out, "Is this good enough?" asked Liya.
Zarbon examined the cloths, "No I need a really fancy dress!" said Zarbon.
"God picky, picky!" yelled Liya, she then got a pretty dress for him, "There take it or leave it!" she said.
"Thank you so much!" said Zarbon, he took the dress and ran back to his room.
Poor Darla was still crying in a puddle of her own tears, "Here put this on!" He gave her the dress to try on; she stopped crying and looked at it.
"What's this?" she asked.
"It's a dress, I want to doll you all up so that you look really pretty like me!" he said.
"Is this like dress up?" she asked.
"Sort of." Zarbon said probably not knowing what dress up even was.
Moments later she came out of the bathroom dressed up really pretty, but still with that silly pigtail in her hair, "Now to do your hair!" yelled Zarbon.
"But like putting my hair up in a pigtail!" she said.
"Not anymore, once I show you what you can do with your hair, you will never be the same again!" said Zarbon. He took her by the hand and went into the "water closet" and started washing her hair in the bathtub, he then combed it, dried it, and put her hair in curlers.
"This hair style looks silly!" she yelled.
"Come on lets go have lunch with Kiwi and Apple!" he took her by the hand and they went to lunch.
At the restraint, many of the top warriors were there with their Freezer Jr. Squad buddies including Kiwi and Apple. Zarbon and Darla sat down at the table next to Kiwi, across from Apple, Grisha and Winston. "So Zarbon how is being paired up with a girl going for you?" asked Kiwi.
Zarbon shrugged his shoulders, "Oh the usual." He said.
"So how is being paired up with a boy going for you Darla?" asked Winston.
Darla shrugged her shoulders, "Oh the usual." She said.
"Why do you have curlers in your hair?" asked Grisha.
"Because Zarbon wants to make me look pretty for tonight," said Darla.
"What's going on tonight again?" asked Kiwi.
"It's the welcome party for the Freezer Jr. Squad," said Apple.
"Are their going to be balloons and clowns there?" asked Grisha.
"I haven't a clue kid." Kiwi said.
"This is boring lets go get a smoothie, come on Darla you can come with us!" said Grisha.
"Ok, excuse me Zarbon!" all three kids ran to the bar to order smoothies.
Zarbon looked over at Shasha and Alyosha, "Well it looks like Shasha is enjoying this program." Zarbon said.
"Yah especially since Alyosha speaks Russian as a first language too." Apple said.
All the sudden Vegeta, who was enraged walked over to them, "This assignment is almost as retarded as the one that I had to work with Zarbon on!" yelled Vegeta.
What he was talking about was when Freezer and Cooler thought the humans were becoming a threat, and Zarbon and Vegeta were paired up to practice on each other pretending one of them were the human. It did not go over well, Zarbon had a horrible mood swing, and a dinocroc almost ate them. "It could be worst." Kiwi said.
"Not really, little kids are annoying!" Vegeta said.
"Now you know how we feel!" Kiwi said laughing.
Vegeta got mad and put his fist up, "You better shut up fish head or else I'll..." Aleister pulled Vegeta's tail, "That is not a toy, get lost kid!" Vegeta said.
"I've never seen a monkey tail before! This is so fluffy and fun to play with!" yelled Aleister wrapping Vegeta's monkey tail around his neck like it was a fur coat.
All the sudden Vegeta made his tail move and it started chocking Aleister's neck, "You don't think my tail is alive, think again you little brat!" yelled Vegeta.
"Stop choking him Vegeta!" said Zarbon.
"Ok then maybe I shouldn't choke him in front of you!" yelled Vegeta, he then released the little changeling and the changeling was trying to catch his breath, "Don't fuck with me you little brat!" yelled Vegeta.
"Yes Vegeta sir!" yelled Aleister.
"Now go get me a wine cooler now!" yelled Vegeta.
"Yes Vegeta!" Aleister said going over to the bar.
"That's prince Vegeta to you!" yelled Vegeta following him.
"Man why does Vegeta have to pick on people that are smaller than him?" asked Apple.
"Well why does he have to pick on people that are taller than him?" asked Kiwi.
"Because he's an annoying, arrogant Sayain that thinks he's the ruler of the universe." Zarbon said.
"Well we're really not that nice to him if you think about it." Apple said.
"I would be nicer to him if he weren't such a demanding little brat." Zarbon said.
At the dinner, the kids were sitting at one table while the adults were sitting at another; everyone was there except for Zarbon and Darla. "Where is Zarbon?" asked Apple.
"I don't know but if he doesn't show up soon then Freezer might get mad." Kiwi said.
All the sudden Zarbon made his graceful entrance, he was dressed to thrill, his hair had curls in it and in a ponytail, and he had a very fancy military uniform on, usually worn at special occasions, which was a red military looking uniform with a red cape attached to the back. He did not wear his forehead crown, but he wore expensive looking diamond earrings in his pierced ears. Everyone just looked at him and started laughing, Freezer then slapped his hand on his head, and "Zarbon perhaps you should make yourself look less glamorous." Freezer said.
"Ok then?" Zarbon said raising an eyebrow, he then took his diamond earrings off, "Is that much better?" he asked.
"Never mind come and sit down before you embarrass me!" yelled Freezer.
"Wait where's Darla?" asked Apple.
All the sudden Darla walked out from behind Zarbon with a red dress on, her hair down with curls in it, and wearing some kind of fancy hat, she had diamond earrings in her ears and she had some pearls in one strand of hair. Everyone started laughing as they both sat down. "Looks like someone is in love!" yelled Vegeta teasing Zarbon.
"No I think they're more like father and daughter!" said Dodoria.
"Like father like daughter!" said Shasha laughing.
"Could you please lay off the insults?" asked Zarbon.
"Oh so the glamour puss has something to say, that is if that's the only thing he can say!" said Dodoria.
Zarbon got up and bent over "glamour puss Jr.", "Just ignore them, they're just jealous that we're more fashionable and more attractive than they are." He said.
"No we aren't!" said Dodoria.
"Right." Darla said.
"Ok enough goofing off, sit down Zarbon!" said Freezer. Zarbon then sat down next to Kiwi. "Now I would like everyone to tell how their Freezer Jr. Squad buddy did, starting with Shasha!" Freezer said.
"He's got mouth on him!" Shasha said.
"Yah if we knew what he was saying!" Vegeta said, he then laughed while Shasha and Alyosha glared at him.
"How about you Alyosha?" asked Freezer.
"Был хорошо!" he gave Freezer a thumbs up.
"Right, now I would like to know what Kiwi thought of meeting his new buddy today!" said Freezer.
"He's very observant, just like me! In fact if I didn't know any better I would say that he's related to me!" said Kiwi.
"Is that true Winston?" asked Freezer.
"I guess, but if I didn't know any better I would say that Kiwi's head if filled with fish paste!" said Winston, everyone started laughing and Kiwi glared at Winston, "What I was just joking, he's the coolest babysitter ever!" said Winston smiling.
"Good I'm glad someone liked him, now how about you Dodoria?" Freezer asked.
"Well honestly Lindsey doesn't do much except pick his nose!" said Dodoria.
Freezer looked over at Lindsey who was picking his nose, "Oh honestly Lindsey you think you're going to get buggers out that way! Here!" he then took his handkerchief and threw it at Lindsey, who caught it and rubbed it on the inside of his nose.
"Thank you Freezer sir!" he yelled.
"Don't let me catch you picking your nose again! That's so disgusting!" said Freezer.
Therefore, Freezer continued to ask Apple, Nappa, Raddiz, and Liya how their buddies did, every one of them said positive things. "Now it's on to Zarbon!" said Freezer.
Zarbon then looked at everyone, "Excuse me?" he asked.
"You know how your Freezer Jr. Squad buddy did today?" asked Freezer.
"Uh let's see," Zarbon looked over at the innocent looking girl who was eating a dead octopus and had the tentacles sticking out of her mouth, "She did just fine," he said.
"Good now I almost forgot, how was your buddy Vegeta?" asked Freezer.
Vegeta snorted and frowned, "He's nothing but trouble and he's such a little brat, uh he pulled my tail today, almost broke it too!" said Vegeta.
"That's not true at all!" yelled Aleister as he stood up.
"Well the part about the pulling on my tail is true!" said Vegeta feeding a monkey on his head some pineapple.
"Aleister is this true?" asked Freezer.
"No he's lying!" yelled Aleister.
"For punishment you will clean all the dishes tonight after everyone is done eating!" yelled Freezer.
"Oh come on I've had harsher punishments then that!" yelled Vegeta.
"Don't push it Sayain!" yelled Freezer.
After dinner, Aleister was pissed off and washing the dishes, "I'll get back at the Sayain brat if it's the last thing I do!" he said.
All the sudden Winston and Alyosha showed up. "Are you ok? You had a rough night." Winston said.
"Winston, Alyosha, gather all the kids together, I have an important meeting to hold!" yelled Aleister.
"Yes sir!" yelled Winston, while Alyosha saluted him, Winston then took Alyosha by the hand and they walked out of the kitchen.
End of part 1