Blaine and Kurt stared at the room in front of them, standing awkwardly in the doorway. Sure, they had both been desperate to room together, but now they were there...

'So, uh...do you want to go top or bottom?' asked Blaine, attempting to break the silence, then immediately regretting his choice of words.

'Oh, I'll top any day of the week dear'. Kurt had decided that he would torment Blaine. Well, after being stared at for the majority of the journey to the camp-site he felt it was worth a little payback. He grinned seeing Blaine's cheeks turn almost as red as the piping on the blazers they'd thrown on over their casual clothes for the journey and breezed past him, tossing his bag onto the top bunk.

Kurt could almost understand why Blaine had been staring so hard. To take advantage of the rare non-uniform day he had put on the tightest pair of skinny jeans in the world. So tight, that if he got even a little excited he would be struggling to fill said area with blood. And he had been sitting in a very suggestive manner across the bus from Blaine, leaving a very open view of his said jeans.

Poor Blaine had spent the whole journey alternating between trying to sneak a subtle glance here and there, and trying not to blush too much. He vaguely wondered if Kurt knew how sexy he was being, then the look Kurt gave him over the top of his unnecessary but totally fabulous reading glasses confirmed it. How Blaine could have ever compared Kurt's sexy faces to gas pains he would never know. He was pretty sure Kurt had just been taking the piss when he'd been pulling those faces, cause right now...well fuck.

Kurt decided to stop teasing for a while and suggested they go explore a little. Blaine only had one area on his mind that he wanted to explore at this particular moment, that indent where Kurt's neck met collar bone… The click of the door opening bought Blaine back to reality and he jumped up to follow Kurt, thankful he was wearing a longer top than usual and hoping Kurt wouldn't cotton on to what he'd been thinking.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

As they walked along, Kurt intending to go look at the shops in the nearby village, he noticed the other Warblers popping up a lot more than he would have expected. Wes stepped in and grabbed hold of Blaine saying it was absolutely imperative that he listened to what he had to say, and literally frog-marched him away, leaving Kurt gaping at the space where they had been. 'The fuck are they doing? He thought, until David grabbed his arm and dragged him into a nearby café.

Kurt was startled to see basically every Warbler save Blaine and Wes sat round two tables and generally not being quiet.

'Um guys. What on earth are you all up to? You're acting kind of-'

'Kurt, this is an intervention. We saw how Blaine kept ogling you on the bus and we saw how you deliberately gave him something to ogle...'

Kurt chose not to answer that and let the others continue their rant

'Well' David cut in, noticing Kurt's not-answer that just confirmed the previous statement 'We, as in the Warblers, have decided that you are to sexually frustrate our dapper boy until he can no longer keep it in his pants and decides to jump and have hot-monkey sex with you'.

'H-Hot monkey sex!' sputtered Kurt. 'There's no way in hell that's happening. A good fuck however...'

'Whatever you want to call it, we are fed up with the waiting, and you're making me lose the bet, I said you'd get together before sectionals...' David grumbled.

Kurt decided to forgo commenting on the fact they had been rude enough to bet on how soon he would get in Blaine's pants and smiled. He was a teenage boy after all, and his hormones were flying around like crazy…

'Teasing Blaine hmmm? I think I can manage something that easy.' he laughed.

'Good, now we are taking you shopping for 'supplies'. How big is your penis...? Nope, sorry how big do you reckon Blaine is, as you're more likely to be a bottom than a top...' Thad said rather loudly, motioning them out of the cafe and earning shocked looks from both the waitresses and Kurt.

'Excuse me.' Kurt gave them a killer glare that his father would have been proud of. 'Did you just say I would be bottom? I can assure you fair gentlemen that I am quite obviously a giver not a taker. Admittedly, I may be more feminine than most, but I am still very much male...' There were a couple of exchanged glances but no-one had the courage to make any snide remarks so Kurt decided to start listing his demands…

"…..and finally. I DEMAND a cheerio outfit. If Dalton doesn't have one then get one made." And with that last order Kurt sauntered off, a bag in hand whilst leaving the bigger ones with the other boys to sneak into his luggage whilst Blaine was out of the room.

"Even though he said that...bets on him bottoming?" chimed in Jeff.

'So what did Wes want?' asked Kurt, casually flopping down onto the garden bench next to Blaine, making sure to stretch his long legs out in front of him as he pulled and unfolded a magazine.

Blaine almost spat his drink out when he saw the front cover.

'So, did which article did you buy that mag for? I didn't think Cosmo was your usual type of reading material.' Blaine asked, avoiding Kurt's question.

'Huh?' Kurt looked up from the magazine, feigning innocence. He managed it fairly well considering he was holding the issue of Cosmo with 'How to please your man: A Guide to Blow-Jobs' emblazoned on the cover. 'I do read it from time to time actually. This issue has quite a few good articles, plus they have an interview with Lady Gaga! Who we both know is so much better than Katy Perry...'

'Oh come on, Katy Perry is a goddess, plus her songs are perfect to serenade with...'

'She was cut out of a children's TV program because she showed too much cleavage!'

'Gaga regularly wears next to nothing.' Kurt frowned as if deep in thought.

'You think so? I was thinking of re-modelling my wardrobe on her..."

Kurt trailed off, leaving Blaine's mind to fill in the rest...or the lack of it.

'Without the tiny bras and thongs obviously' added Kurt with a chuckle. 'But maybe the see through apron...or the fur coat from bad romance? Oh, actually I think on our next non-school uniform day I should wear what she wore in the born this way video.'

'Wait' Blaine stuttered, 'Wasn't that video done in just her underwear?'

'..I meant the Thierry Mugler suit dear. I couldn't possibly go bare-foot in public'

'...but you'd be fine in your underwear?'

'Well, why not? I'm hiding a pretty good body under these clothes you know.'

Kurt continued flicking through the magazine, holding it up slightly higher than necessary to hide the smirk that graced his features.

Blaine just sat there, trying to process that thought of Kurt in his underwear... and if these jeans were any indication, they would have to be tight to avoid the dreaded VPL whenever he wore anything other than the school trousers. All coherent thought left Blaine's mind when he saw Kurt slide the banana into his mouth through lips that had tightened, denying it entrance.

After a few minutes of sitting there in stunned silence he finally managed to regain use of his voice for long enough to ask Kurt what he was doing. Kurt removed the banana from his mouth and smiled innocently.

'Well, i did say that were a few articles that interested me..'

'Yeah, but...'

'Did you know apparently running your tongue over the-'

'I heard it works better if you do it more like this...' David leant over Kurt's shoulder, making Blaine jump. Apparently he had been reading the article over Kurt's shoulder and he just hadn't noticed his presence. (read: been able to take his eyes off Kurt's administrations on the banana) David lifted said banana to his mouth, flicking his tongue over the tip before sliding it in and sucking.

'Ohh, you're probably right. What do you think Blaine? You prefer it with more tongue action or being pumped during?'

Blaine's jaw practically dropped clean off. Was Kurt seriously asking how he preferred his blowjobs!

'You seem pretty good at this sort of thing David, you sure you don't get practice on Wes at all?'

'Well, if you want Kurt, I could give you a few pointers later on tonight...' winked David. 'Demonstration's included'

Kurt giggled and playfully swatted his arm away whilst huddling up to Blaine. "Blaaaaaaiiiiiiiine, save me!' exclaimed Kurt pressing his face into Blaine's chest, grinning when he could feel his heart hammering away even through the jumper he was wearing.

'David, back off' Blaine practically growled, finally managing to get words past the lump that had formed in his throat. He hoped to hell that it wasn't his gag reflex. David held his hands up in mock surrender, telling him to chill before giving Kurt a seductive grin and suggesting they do it another time, not so subtly adding extra emphasis to the it. Blaine let out a real growl this time that had both Kurt and David staring at him in shock. David seemed to take the hint and scurried off, wailing to Wes that Blaine was bullying him and throwing himself into his arms.

Wes sat with David, looking out the window, the pair of them grinning like Cheshire cats.

"So far so good...but did you really have to be so hot with the banana yourself?' blushed Wes, trying to get the way David had held eye contact as he slowly released the banana from his mouth out of his head.

'What? Kurt can't have all the fun." laughed David. "But I think Blaine might FINALLY jump Kurt before the end of these two weeks...'

'That bet is so ours mother fuckeeeeers!' they cried in unison, high fiving.

A/N Thank you for the hysterical reviews guys 3 This one was fun to write. And it gets even better-we're taking it downhill from here ;D Hope you enjoy LSM (Long Suffering Muse)

Please, review, we have discovered that we are a pair of review whores. And AS I post this we are already working on part 3! BTW, VPM = visible panty line. I thought I should clarify that as I had to ask 'Chia what it meant when she typed it…

Until next time, Kat and 'Chia signing off!