John Paul lent across the bed, and placed a kiss to Kieron's temple. He wished he would wake up and hold him like he used too. But he knew that there was a small chance of that ever happening again. Kieron's life was hanging by a thread. And it was his entire fault.
Maybe if he hadn't had said anything about being ready for marriage, this wouldn't have happened...

-Flashback-

"Craig...Go...Please..."
John Paul had been staying at his mum's house for a few days after his break up with Kieron, when Craig had showed up at the door. He had a feeling that his visit was due to the night before when they both went to the skate park and talked for hours. They had shared a few meaningless kisses and hugs...but nothing compared to Kieron.
"I don't understand you John Paul McQueen. Yesterday...you...you said that you missed me! And now you're blowing me off!"
"I'm not blowing you off...I just...I need some time to think..."
"ABOUT WHAT?!"

"Kieron..."

The room went totally silent. Craig's eyes were burning holes into the back of John Pauls neck as they stood at opposite ends of the room, the younger of the two looking out of the window.

"Are you trying to say what I think you're saying? That you want him. A priest?"
"An ex priest..." He interrupted.
"Same thing."

More silence.

"After all that he's done...forcing you into marriage..."
"He never forced me Craig. It...was just going too fast for me..."
"Tsk. We we're good for each other John Paul. I love you..."
"I loved you. But you're too late. I love Kieron now. Kieron's the one I want to be with. Not you. You we're just some childish mistake that I want to forget."
"You don't mean that..."
"I do Craig!"
John Paul turned round, so both men were staring at each other.

"You hurt me so much. And I want to forget all about that. With Kieron, I don't hurt. He makes me feel so alive; so safe...So secure. There's no secrecy, no hiding or anything. Just love. Unconditional love."

Craig shook his head and strode across the room until he was eye level with John Paul.
"I can give you that...There's nothing holding me back..."
"But the hurt's always going to be there! But Kieron makes it all go away! He gave up everything for me! And I'd do the same for him!"
"What about me? Would you do that for me?"

Even more silence filled the room as the pair stared at one another.
A tear cascaded down the younger mans cheeks as he shook his head.
"No..." He croaked, looking down at the floor.

Without saying anything, Craig lent forward and captured John Paul's lips with his own. Treating this as a final goodbye kiss, John Paul raised his hands, and put them on the side of Craig's face, and kissed him back deeply.

After thirty seconds, the boys came up for air. Both of them had tears running freely down their cheeks.
"I'll keep in touch..." Craig croaked, walking towards the front door.
John Paul nodded slowly, and angrily wiped his cheeks.

Just as Craig was about to leave the McQueen household for the last time, he turned back and looked at the younger man.
"John Paul...Go to him. Go to Kieron, and be happy. I know he'll treat you right..."
After the words had left his mouth, he closed the door behind him – leaving John Paul alone.

-End of Flashback-