Chapter 2

The first thing that came into his focus as his consciousness awoke that morning, was her smell. He could smell her perfume, and yeah he felt the sweet scent of her hair product. She was still sleeping on his couch. Her hand was still in his. He was sitting on the floor by her side. He couldn't believe he had fallen asleep like that. The feel of her hand in his, the feel of their intertwined fingers made the ghost of a smile appear on his lips. He loved this woman more than he had ever loved anyone. Every time he laid eyes on her, even if she was wearing an old baggy T-shirt of his and had messy hair and no make-up left, even if she wasn't even looking at him, but just sleeping, even if she didn't know that, every single time it felt like falling in love with her all over again. He smiled while thinking how gorgeous she was. He gave her hand a gentle kiss and lightly pulled his fingers away. He got up and before leaving he pulled her blanket higher. He felt this strange need to look after her. God, he'd wish he had the opportunity to spend his life just doing that, looking after her…
He got up and started making coffee while trying not to make noise. He didn't want tobe the one to wake her. In the maze between dream and reality, in the moment when consciousness and unconsciousness merge, that's when you start having odd thoughts. And maybe... just maybe these thoughts are truer than anything else. She was thinking about happiness.

" I mean yeah, I am happy. I have a good job and two amazing kids and you know friends and money and stuff. And then... There's Peter. He seems to have changed. Oh com'on Alicia!" She reprimanded herself. " there's no use in lying to yourself. Peter is ... you know half of your life, Peter is something familiar, but that doesn't mean he is family. Because ... Well cos being with him is serene, but a long way from happy. Cos if it was you wouldn't be sleeping on Will's couch. Oh my God. Will's couch..."

She woke up with his name and image in her head. Her eyelids reflexively closed because sun rays were caressing her face. She moved her head and felt another smell on her skin. She was wearing his T-shirt. She enjoyed the flavor.

"Oh my God, why am I..." She eyed around. The smell of coffee fondled her nostrils. He had his back to her. She didn't know what to say. This was surely awkward. Yeah, she'd been there before, she'd slept with him before, but ... Why did it feel so embarrassing?

She didn't want to attract his attention. She wouldn't know what to say. He had to find out she was awake by himself so he could say something. Kinda selfish on her side. Nevertheless she closed her eyes again hoping he would come there soon. She must've been calling him with her heart because in a matter of seconds he was there. He sat on the other couch and took the remote.

She felt his caressing gaze for a second, but then he turned on the TV making sure the volume was low. It was time. Feigning sleep was something she wasn't good at, so she gently opened her eyes. As if he had a radar on her movements, he immediately looked at her. And she looked back. To go past the uneasiness, he granted her a sweet morning smile.

"Hey. " was all he said so she was trapped to move the conversation forward. She got up immediately and sat on the couch.

"I ..." She was certainly going to say "I am sorry" but the slight twinge of Will's eyebrow seemed not to want that of her. He was full of "I am sorrys" on her part. So instead she murmured an embarrassed " ' morning!"

She would have wanted to succumb in the couch when she felt her cheeks go red. Feeling that, he took his eyes off of her for which she was grateful.

"Coffee? " he offered when the silence became too pressing. She nodded so gracefully and in a childlike manner that he found it very difficult not to jump next to her and kiss her. He was looking for the remote as she laid her feet on the floor. She was wearing a pair of his baggy sweatpants and a matching T- shirt. She was staring at them now, and he knew what that meant.

"They suit you." He smiled. She laughed and then looked right into his eyes unsure of how to form the question. But he knew. He seemed to read her mind.

"Your clothes are on the bed, I mean you changed... You know you couldn't ...sleep in ...Gosh!" He was messing it up.

She smiled. " It's okay Will. I remember..." she mumbled. Then her beam returned to him.

"How about that coffee?" He returned her smile gratefully and got up. She got up as well and tried to tidy up a little. As he turned the coffee machine on, he wanted to ask her something, but at the sight of her his heart skipped a beat, his breath caught in his lungs and all the words in his head lost their coherency. His T-shirt was too big for her slimy figure and it left her shoulders exposed. He drank in her creamy skin and noticed the birthmarks on her lovely neck as she was folding up the blanket. The sun cast its golden blanket on her clavicles which were tangible and they reminded him of all those times his lips had caressed them and left wet trails right there. Her dark hair cascaded down her shoulders and it gained some splendid nuances when bathed in the sunlight. He loved her hair loose. It foulared her skin as a silky scarf. He was eyeing her every move. She walked to the side of the couch to take the pillow, barefoot, as they used to walk around the college corridors to meet each other at night.

Gosh she was beautiful ! Yeah... He had loved her since then as she rushed into his arms that late night of more than 20 years earlier to meet him in the terrace, the night he had first kissed her, the night he had realized that no woman, ever, would make his heart beat that way...

His look had a way of caressing her. One of the reasons she couldn't keep away from him, one of the reasons she should. Because it just made her feel as if he was touching her even when he wasn't. It made her feel sheltered in his embrace, protected...and she dared to think 'happy'. She realized that Will made her happy, even if it was for a short while, even if it was against everything everyone expected of her or wanted her to do, even if it seemed wrong on so many levels and...even, as she was most afraid, this would disappoint her kids. Despite everything there was only one major feeling whenever Will was around, happiness.

She felt his look and was fighting to keep busy; either because she didn't want to talk or maybe because she liked when he looked at her. Actually she loved it. Abruptly, she turned her hazel eyes to him and caught him off guard. She smiled at his teenagery way of removing his eyes and trying to make it look like he was busy. The alarm of the coffee machine took both their attentions and she approached the counter and sat on the chair in front of him. He diverted his attention to finding a mug. And then he suddenly decided it was time to talk.

"Alici...

"Will..."

They both smiled embarrassed.

"You first." He smiled.

She took a deep breath. "Okay. So, I am sorry about bursting in last night, I mean... I know I should stop doing this to you, I know you must think I am being one of those bitches back in college who knew when someone..." Her voice trailed off as he put the mug in front of her. Her look met his in half way. " I am really sorry for every wrong doing against you ... But..."

He knew he had to do something to stop her or she would say she couldn't do this, whatever this was. And he didn't want that. He wanted her right now and so much that letting her go was out of the question. His reason raced and he gently leaned in and put his finger on her lips.

"Please Alicia. I know. I mean we've never actually talked about this, but I know. And I get it, but you don't have to be sorry. You don't have to be sorry you are so gorgeous, you don't have to be sorry I have feelings for you and you don't have to be sorry you came here last night because I just feel like for once ... It was right timing. For once I ..." He stressed the word. " I was your safe haven."

She looked at him, but was too afraid to speak. So he sat next to her and for a couple of minutes all they did was stare at their coffees. They had never been so slow in drinking it :p.

"Will?"

"Yes?"

"I wanna ask you something." He put his mug down and turned his chair toward her. "Why haven't you given up on me? I mean after everything I have put you through..." He leaned his head to his side and thought for one moment. The gesture reminded Alicia of when her daughter Grace was little and people asked her whom she loved the most, her mom or her dad.

"I guess... You know when people go through a lot, you know like a tragedy or something, and they survive and get to tell the story?" She nodded so he went on. "Well, they all say there was something to cling to when they were at their worst, like you know the light at the end of the tunnel. You are that for me. " he said this so slowly and appealingly that her heart melted and tears welled up in her eyes. "You are the one person that just makes it worth it, the thing I always fight for, cos you know I have this thought that everybody fights for something. " he had his eyes down and was playing with his sweater's lace. "And I have been doing that... Probably since Georgetown."

He didn't look at her but instead got up. She grabbed his hand. When he returned to her, her tears were falling down, her eyes puffy and she stared at the floor. He squeezed her hand and waited.

She pulled him closer. "I think I feel the same way about you ever since the night I kissed you again. " her tears prevented her voice from being clear, but she went on. "It was like a time machine. "

He couldn't wait any longer. He drew her face closer and kissed her. God, he loved the feeling of kissing her. Maybe she was right. It was a time machine, only not toward the past, but toward the future. Kissing her was like seeing his future live, the moments he still wanted to live with her, the feel of her skin against his every morning of his life, the sight of her shoulders over the sheets at night, the scent of her perfume in the bathroom, her clothes on the floor of their bedroom, the noise of children. Yeah, she was worth everything he could suffer. She erased everything in a second. As their kiss became passionate and his hand explored her waist and his own T-shirt, he started to forget about everything. Being with her was reason-robbing. And as he nuzzled against her neck, she whispered something in his ear. He separated his lips from her skin to make it out and looked at her right in the eyes. Her look arrowed him too. She cupped his cheek and ran her fingers through his hair. "This..." She paused to emphasize. " this is 'happy'." He kissed her fingers and ran his arms around her skinny waist drawing her body to his. As she wrapped her soft legs around him, he picked her in his arms and lost himself in the sublime whirlpool of making love to the woman he most desired, loved and cherished...

reviews are appreciated! I haven't written a fanfiction in a long time, so I really love constructive criticism!