An Idiot in the Akatsuki, Chapter 2: Tobi, Zetsu and Dinner.

So one week after DC meets Deidara and realizes the dangers of hanging out with someone who like blowing everything up, he receives a letter at the house that was given to him in an adventure that took place in the week between the first chapter and this one (a story for another day…) . Anyway, the letter stated that he was to meet Zetsu at the rendezvous point.

Rendezvous point? He thought. Where the hell could that be?

Then, he flipped the paper over to reveal a brochure for the area's most renowned water-park, Rendezvous Point.'

That's probably just a coincidence He thought as he scanned the rest of the paper. His doubt withered when he saw the Akatsuki logo on the bottom of the brochure, with An Akatsuki Hideout Cover-up beneath it. Aren't these guys supposed to be a secret?

He packed his bag to leave, grabbed his swimming trunks and an alligator and headed to the water park to meet Zetsu. The letter says the guy is like a plant…he's probably just a stoner. He rationalized as he locked the door with Simon Cowell still tied up and gagged inside.

2 Hours Later…

As he waited at RP for Zetsu, leaned against a tree, he pondered a ponderous thought out loud. "Who would win in a fight to the death between Rebecca Black and Justin Bieber?"

"Everyone…" a voice in bold print said, his face appearing in the tree he was leaning against.

"Who said that? Was it my nemesis, Craig the evil living trash can?"

"It is…us, Zetsu the bipolar tree!"

"Meh. Makes about as much sense as Inception. So I'm supposed to follow you to Deidara's house? He said the real HQ was being renovated."

"Oh, you're the guy we were supposed to lead! we accidentally led like 8 other people to his house!"

"So what happened to them?"

"Oh, we ate them." He said casually.

"Ah…Well then…this is awkward…to Deidara's!"

"Wait, where'd your alligator go?"

"It went looking for the nearest source of food and water." DC explained as cries of terror and agony resonated from the people filled water-park. "By the way, we should leave…NOW."

Another 2 hours later…

"…and then THAT guy tasted like a mushroom-y pizza, but that's impossible, because we were at a sushi bar. So, that was my 8th birthday, how was yours like?"

"Oh, y'know."

"Cool. Well, here we are, Deidara's-" BOOM! Suddenly, a wall from the house had exploded.

"I forgot to mention it's Deidara's turn to cook dinner." Zetsu elaborated.

"Does the recipe include a pipe bomb?" DC said.

"No, although he does try to get creative every now and again."

As they walked in through the hole in the wall, they noticed a guy with an orange spiral mask with one eyehole hiding behind one of the sides of the counter, avoiding the explosion.

"Is it safe?"

"What have I told you, Tobi?" Zetsu said, trying to comfort him. "It's safe. It's very safe."

"So Deidara won't cause anymore explosions?"

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves, Tobi, that'll only happen when he's dead." Zetsu warned, unaware of the bombs Deidara had placed in random places everywhere set to detonate when he died. "Now Tobi, we have a new member in the Akatsuki, show some hospitality!" Zetsu commanded, escorting them to the living room.

"HI! I'm Tobi but I'm secretly-" he began, but was quickly interrupted by Zetsu.

"Tobi, no spoilers!"

Tobi sat down, pouting, and then shot up suddenly. "Do you want one of our cool cloaks? It's got a cloud on it, bound to strike fear into your enemies! And it comes with a free frogurt!" Tobi offered.

"That's cool!" DC exclaimed, "Pun intended."

"But the frogurt is cursed."

"That's bad."

"But you get to choose from 8 different toppings!"

"That's good!"

"The topping are also cursed."

"Isn't this already a Simpsons joke?" DC said, recognizing it from Treehouse of horror.

"I'm going to my room!" Tobi cried, running up the stairs.

"DEIDARA!" a British voice roared from the kitchen. "This steak is still %#&!&$#%-ING RAWWWW!"

"I know that voice…" DC said, walking stealthily into the kitchen.

It is! He thought. "Gordon Ramsay, of Hell's Kitchen!" He exclaimed, getting his pistols from their holsters. "I'm such a fan! Sadly…" Aim… "THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE!" He yelled, unloading into the chef.

To Be Continued!