Inside Ren's head, he was berating himself for patrolling for so long, while also praying to whatever deity existed that-
"PANCAKES!!"
Nope. No such luck. Nora was up.
"REN! MAKE THE PANCAKES!"
Sighing, Ren moved to go to the kitchenette provided his team, but he chucked at what else was happening. Jaune had woken up wth a scream due to Nora startling him, tripped over a book, and him and Pyrrha (who had just gotten up) had collided. Ren was using all of his years of self control training and calm mental state to not bust out laughing, as he (along with everyone else) knew that Pyrrha was crushing hard on Jaune, and the way they had collided...
Well, the pancakes weren't going to make themselves.
It was a Saturday, so team RWBY came over, as was customary nowadays, as they enjoyed Ren's cooking as much as his own team. And of course, the Batman was the topic of conversation.
"So," Ruby was saying, "We should have a lie detector test to see if one of us here is the Batman."
Ren didn't pay any attention after that, as he was debating if he should tell the teams his secret. 'Why not? They won't believe me anyway.'
"Guys," Ren called, "I need to know if you can keep a secret. Even from Ozpin."
"Er, yeah...," Jaune replied, a confused look on his face. "Why?"
Ren took a deep breath. "I'm-"
A crash, followed by shouts, smoke, and Glynda Goodwitch's furious screeches echoed down the hall. More explosions followed, with more yelling, a pained shriek, and a resounding thud.
"Ren, I've got the lie detector."
Ren looked, to see that Blake did indeed have a lie detector out. He took a few more deep breaths, and hooked himself up. He did the customary true/false statements.
"My name is Lie Ren." True.
"I am a nefarious prankster." False.
"I'm Batman." True.
Ren paused, waiting for the 'BLOOD AND BLOODY ASHES' reaction he was expecting. Instead, the seven people he had just told stared blankly into space.
"Well OK then." Ren unhooked himself from the lie detector, got StormFlower, and went to go train. He almost made it.
And chapter one is a wrap. Yeah, this is a humor/adventure, so I had Ren do an identity reveal early to increase the LOL factor. Chapter three is gonna be a lot of JPN and RWBY's fangirl and fanboy-ness toward Batman interacting with the knowledge that Batman is Ren. Might add in one of them as Nightwing later. Also, 'Blood and bloody ashes' is a Wheel of Time swear. I'm a tad obsessed. So sue me (don't actually do that, please). Got to go. Bye now.
Aiellord.