"So milk comes from an animal called a cow?"
"Yes, and promise me you won't listen to anything York tells you," North said, holding a compress to his head that was given to him by a rather irritated Med Bay worker. ("You're the fifth person in two days that Carolina's concussed! That bitch should know better than roundhouse kicking or whatever everyone who irks her or some shit! What is her deal?")
"But you should always trust people!"
"You can trust York, just not to tell you facts. Delta's way more trustworthy with that stuff."
"But you never said that what York said about titties was wrong," Theta reminded him, crossing his arms defiantly.
"I never knew what you'd do with that information! And from now on, let's call them boobs."
"Why boobs?"
"It's more polite...I guess."
"North!" Florida cheerily said, his armor covered in crusting blood. "I just came back from an interrogation, and I heard what happened. Theta, sounds like someone played a joke on your cute little self!" He lightly tapped Theta's hologram, and even though Florida couldn't actually touch Theta, he still leaned back, kind of scared of Florida.
'North, I'm scared of him! He's gonna eat me!' Theta's voice resonated through North's mind.
"Aww, look at him! Are you scared of me, little guy?" Florida asked. "There's scarier things than me out there, you know. I just want to talk to you! Figure out how an AI works so I'll be ready as rainbows for mine, ehh?"
"I don't want any of my brothers to go with you!" Theta said, unnaturally confident.
"Theta, don't be rude!" North scolded. "Sorry, Florida, I think it's the blood smiley face on your helmet that's creeping him out."
"Gotcha," Florida said, rubbing his hand on his helmet. "Better?"
"A...A little," Theta responded. 'We can't take him with you out of armor like this. He's gonna attack us and eat me.' North's thoughts flooded with Theta's again.
"Theta, he's not going to eat you," North reassured. "Florida just wants to talk. A lot of agents are curious about AIs and how you work."
"Exactly! For instance, how did you access North's personal thoughts? Do you think you could do it to someone else?"
"Oh, getting into North's thoughts was easy!" Theta bragged. "I am implanted into his brain, after all. I know everything he's thinking, and has thought since I was implanted!"
"So if you've known all his thoughts for a few months now, why did you wait so long to ask what titties are?" Florida asked, completely enthralled in Theta's words. "Surely he's thought about them before." North got more and more uncomfortable with the conversation topic.
"'Cause it was a new word. North doesn't think in words that much, he thinks in pictures! It's really fun to watch, I learn all sorts of new stuff!"
"Like what?" Florida smirked devilishly behind his helmet. He knew exactly how to manipulate someone into giving him the information he wanted, in this case, North's deepest darkest secrets.
"Theta, maybe we should get going," North said, trying to convey verbally to Theta when the red flags he sent up in his mind didn't phase the AI.
"Why? You said he only wanted to talk." Theta's strong suits were not in reading the atmosphere. Or understanding North's subliminal messages. "Anyways, North doesn't think about ti- boobs a lot, he thinks more about Wash and York."
"Really? This is really interesting Theta, go on!" Florida's words prompted North to send him a look that screamed "fuck you."
"Okay! So, you know the things human send liquid waste out of? Well, North really likes thinking about Wash's and York's, and-"
"Alright Theta, we're leaving. NOW."
"Aw...bye Florida!" Theta said, waving back at Florida, who was struggling to not burst into laughter.
"Theta, we're about to have a long talk about personal things."
"Sounds fun!"
Ten minutes later, South punched North's door a few times before slamming it open. "There's always one gay twin," she said.
"What are you talking about, you're the gay twin!"
"Yeah, but at least I keep it to one at a time."
"That's the biggest lie I've heard in a while," North said. "You hit on Tennessee and California within 30 seconds of each other. While you were in a relationship with CT."
"They turned me down though."
"North hasn't even asked Wash or York out yet!" Theta popped in.
"Theta, what were we just talking about?"
"Oh, yeah, sorry..."
"Speaking of York," South said, leaning on the door frame, "Carolina and I dragged his sorry ass to the Med Bay. If you want to ask his unconscious face out on a fuck date, now's the time." She turned to walk away. "He might actually say yes to you at this point, Carolina's rejected him so much."
"Later," North said. "I have to teach Theta how to not spill secrets."
"Have fun with your kid," South said, and walked away.
"Alright, Theta, let's talk about self-control now."