I forgot a disclaimer in chapter one sooo... i do not own twilight! it rlly sucks.
Ways to Annoy the Twilight Characters
Emmett:
Take away his Vampire Monster drinks.
Give him apple juice instead.
Give him a lecture on the Birds and the Bees.
Tell him a grizzly bear destroyed him car.
Give him high heels and tell him to 'Go practice, there is only a week until the ball!'
Throw a coconut at him.
When he asks why you threw a coconut at him, tell him you thought it was Elmo.
Tell him that he can't sing 'Barbie Girl' anymore.
2 days later, ask him why he isn't singing 'Barbie Girl' anymore.
Bella:
Take away her copy of Wuthering Heights.
Strap her to a chair and make her watch an Elmo/Mr. Rogers/ Barney marathon.
Burn her house down.
Tell Mike Newton that she is single.
Put a dead wolf filled with pear juice in her room.
Scream and ask her why she has a dead wolf filled with pear juice in her room.
Paint her nails an ugly green color.
Tell her her nails are very ugly.
Jacob:
Give him a kitty liter box with a newspaper inside of it.
If he asks why the newspaper tell him to give it back then.
Start to cry every other minute.
Tell him good puppy every time he does something.
Tell him to fetch.
When he says no cry.
Ask him to sing for you.
Tell him his singing sucks.
Get him as mad as possible and then ask him why he is mad at you.
Mike:
Call him a Golden Retriever.
Do it repeatedly.
Give him a rose 'from Edward'.
Tell him he is the only straight person on the planet.
Tell him that 4 Australian hookers are in love with him.
Set him up on a blind date with one of the Australian hookers.
Ruffle his hair.
Every 3 minutes ask him if he is wearing new socks.
Every 5 minutes tell him you are.
Stare at him and every time he blinks say 'HAHAHAHAHA!!!'
When he asks why tell him you were having a staring contest.