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First of all I am so sorry for taking so long to get this chapter done, I am horrible, hate me all you want but I promise to get the upcoming chapter faster done!
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Chapter 2: Life as planned
Today was the best and happiest day of her life; well at least it was supposed to be. She was nervous or to be more exact terrified. The knot in her stomach and in her throat was giving her a hard time to breath, she was shivering like a leaf in a stormy night. Her head was full of thoughts, thoughts of doubt. She was watching herself in the big mirror and she was sure that she never looked more beautiful. Her pure white mermaid wedding dress was hugging her curves perfectly, her blonde hair falling in loose waves and nearly reaching her back, her make up kept naturally underlying her natural beauty. Yes, she was the perfect bride but why wouldn´t this feeling stop, it was spreading through her whole body, making her more and more uncomfortable with every passing second.
"For God's sake Caroline, it's your wedding day you should be smiling and shining with an inner glow and not giving everyone the impression that you are going to attend the funeral of your grandmother" Rebekah scolded her. She was right she should be happy but…..
"I know, I really know but I can't." Even her voice was small and fragile.
"What are you afraid of?" the scolding undertone in Rebekah's voice was replaced with genuine concern.
"I don't think you are the right person to talk about this", she stopped when she saw the hurt in Rebekahs face."I am sorry Bekah, I didn't mean to say that but your are Nik's sister and it feels so wrong talking about my panic attacks with you, especially when I am getting them right before getting married to him."
"I understand, we didn't really have the best start, to be honest I hated you when Nik brought you home for the first time and I even made a bet with Kol that you two won't last longer than two weeks", she must have really hurt her feelings because right now she was making her even more uncomfortable. Rebekah came to stand right in front of her and she placed her arms on her shoulders.
"What I mean to say is that you have become a part of the family a long time ago. When I saw how happy you made Nik, I realized just how happy you made me too and it will sound totally cheesy but from this day on you are my sister and I will try my best to be there for you, so whatever bothers you, just tell me how I can help you." When Rebekah had finished her speech both women had tears in their eyes.
"Thank you! You can't even imagine how much that means to me and yes you can indeed help me, please get me Nik."
Rebekah looked completely perplexed.
"But the groom isn't supposed to see the bride before the wedding, it brings misfortune to the couple!" Rebekah exclaimed in a high pitched voice, totally shocked that Caroline would even take such a risk.
"Well the misfortune is already here, there won't be a wedding today I...I can't marry him."
"Caroline you are a making a huge mistake... you are getting cold feet. It happens to every bride...but you always dreamed of this." Rebekah began to shake her and Caroline was sure that wouldn't take long before getting slapped hard in the face by Rebekah.
"Rebekah, I love him but I can't... this feeling. What if...please I need Nik." Just before she was about to burst in tears, she heard a knock on the door and a second later Nik entered the room.
"I heard the shouting. Is everything alright?" He asked with a light frown.
Before Caroline had time to form words, Rebekah turned to her brother. "No, Nik she has gone absolutely crazy! She wants to...
"Rebekah, do you mind giving us a moment, please?" Caroline interrupted Rebekah, she needed to do it on her own. Nik deserved it.
"But, I wanted to..," it seemed like she was rather disappointed for not being able to witness the following conversation between her brother and Caroline. But the look Caroline gave her made her understand that there was no place for her in this situation. "Yes, of course. I will give you a moment. I will wait outside." She said before making her way out.
Caroline sighed heavily when the door closed behind Rebekah. How was she supposed to do it? She looked at him and for a moment she forgot all her worries, he looked so handsome in his creamy suit a man worth dying for
"You look stunning my love." he was now standing right in front of her and his hand was caressing her cheek. She looked into his eyes and all she could see was pure adoration and it was all just for her.
"Nik, I... I am sorry..." she couldn't bring the words out.
"It's alright my love, I heard your outburst before I came in." he said
"You what?!...Nik I swear I just..."
He just looked at her, his eyes holding so much kindness and love that it made her chest swell with a warm feeling.
"Nik, you are the man of my dreams. I love you more than I loved anyone before and I won't love anyone as I love you, ever again. You are my life. I want to wake up every morning wrapped up in your arm and fall asleep in your arms. I want to grow old with you watching our grandchildren playing in the garden while we sit on the porch holding hands and thank you for the wonderful life you have given me. I want to be your everything like you are my everything..." The tears were now rolling down her cheek.
"But sweetheart, you are my everything."
"Don't you get it Nik? Someday your are going to see me for what I really am. I am a shallow, insecure and controlling girl who will end up planning your whole life and the moment you realize that you will leave me for someone else and I will be broken and won't be even able to blame you for it because I would be the one who destroyed us." It was out, all her fears and worries and now she needed to get away, without a second thought she went to the door but before she could open it he wrapped his arms around her waist and was now hugging her from behind. She was breathing heavily unable to move anymore.
"You are the love of my life. I will never grow tired of you. No, with each passing day I will love you more and more until I take my last breath and I...," She heard his voice broke for a moment, when he continued to speak his voice hold so much vulnerability that it made cry even harder. "And I would never hurt you, I would rather die than seeing you hurt. Can't you see Caroline? I won't let go of you. Never." When he finished, she had turned around and was now facing him. All she could see were the tears that escaped his eyes. How could she ever hurt him? She began to caress his cheek and he leaned into her gentle touch. She brought her lips to his other cheek and kissed the tears away.
This moment, in his arms took all her worries away. He was hers and she was his and nothing would ever change that. She was sure that she was never going to run from. Never.
She ran. All she was able to do was running. She ran so fast and so long that her body began to ache, painful cramps started to consume her legs. She didn't care, she needed the pain, it was the only thing keeping her from a completely breakdown. Even though the pain in her legs was unbearable and the blood from her cut was all over her face, the thought of completely standing still was more terrifying than the effects she would suffer from mistreating her body. But she couldn't give herself in the thoughts about the events of the evening; her husband, the man who swore to love and cherish her and most important to never hurt her. Until this very evening she always thought she had it all: the perfect job, perfect friends and the perfect man by her side. She always enjoyed the jealous stares from women who admired her handsome husband, whispering and blushing when he spared them a look. Yes, she enjoyed it because she knew that in his eyes no women could be compared to her, that it would be her who would be spending the nights in his loving arms, while he kissed her and whispered sweet nothings in her ear. He was her dream, a dream that shattered in the cruelest way she could think of. She did not only love, oh how she wished that it was only her love he hold over her, it was much more. She devoted her very soul to him; she gave him everything naively believing that it would be enough for him and that he would devote himself as she did. Was she living a lie? Believing he was hers, when the reality couldn't be further from the truth? She was dumb believing that sworn love and marriage could bond him to her, what a fool she was. He tore her heart out and stomped on it while smirking like the devil. Yes, he was the devil, to believe she was ready to have a family with him. A family, the child….she was pregnant; she was going to become a mother. How could she forget about that? A baby, she wasn't even able to wrap her thoughts around this possibility anymore. How was she supposed to handle that? She couldn't handle it all without him; oh God how was she to go through this?
Before she could form any more confusing thought about her life, she collapsed, hitting the hard ground. Her body wasn't able to stand the running anymore; finally consuming her with unbearable pain. She realized that she had been running through the woods, these damn woods. They were definitely haunting her. She loved them once now she hated them with all her heart. The wind was howling a sad melody through the trees while she lay on the ground not even being able to crawl anymore. She was breathing hard and uneven, her heart pumping with enormous bursts through her chest. The pain was overwhelming her, her body wasn't able to take it anymore, giving her the only thing that could ease her, but before she felt her mind drifting in the unconsciousness, she felt a warm fluid flowing down her legs. Everything was now crushed and with one last thought she drifted into the darkness. She was broken.