Author's Note: Is anyone else happy Toadette has finally made an appearance in a Nintendo game after all these years? She's going to appear in Mario Kart 8 for Wii U and I couldn't help but squeal with joy when I found out. Oh, and I have also officially graduated from high school. Rejoice!
Remaining Characters: Mario Luigi Peach Daisy Rosalina Pauline DK Diddy Dixie Yoshi Birdo Toadette Toad Wario Waluigi Koops Flurrie Vivian Bombette Parakarry Bowser Kammy Wendy Jojora Fire Bro
Princess Peach woke up from her beauty sleep and slipped in to the shower. After about 10 minutes, she got out and dried herself off. She went back into her room and put her panties on, along with her bra, and then her pink dress. She curled her hair like it usually is and put on her makeup. She then stared out the window for a brief moment and noticed that it was very sunny out with the trees and bushes lightly moving against the wind. Peach knew it was going to be a lovely day, especially because she was heading to the Post Office to send out invitations for Luigi's birthday that was to be happening 3 days from now.
She made her way downstairs and made herself a coffee, and then walked over to her couch, grabbed the remote and turned on the TV. It turned on right to the News Channel. Peach was about to change the channel until she heard something that caught her attention as she drunk her coffee.
"This is your favorite gossip news reporter, Jojora Teeheena Icadora, reporting for Channel 64 News! Tragedy has been struck at the Microsoft Apartment Complex in Downtown Mushroom City where the whacky valley girl, Goombella Goomba, age 19, and the desperate nerdy fanboy, Goombario Goomba, age 16, have been found brutally murdered in Apartment 666. The cause of death appears to be from a knife which was certainly used to inflict death upon the poor Goombas. No more evidence has been found yet, but police are still investigating the area and interviewing any neighbors for more information. This is Jojora Teeheena Icadora reporting for Channel 64 News. Peace!"
Peach spit out her coffee, only to immediately see that the coffee from her mouth dropped all over the bottom of her dress.
"Oh damnit! I just had this one washed too!" Peach cried as she stood up and accidentally dropped her cup of coffee, which made all the coffee spill out and stain even more of her dress.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! MOTHER FUCKER! IT BURNS, IT BURNS, IT BUUUUUUUUUUUUURNS!" Peach screamed and ran back to her room upstairs. She took that dress off and got a new one on and went back downstairs.
"There. That's better. Now…hmm…who on earth would want to kill those two poor souls? Well, actually, it's not too surprising they got killed. They both talk too much! I even remember the time Goombella told me about the history of Sarasaland and I got a headache and fell asleep only 20 minutes in…or was that Goombario? Man, those two are so much alike, they might as well be twins! But...either way...I hope it doesn't affect Luigi's birthday party." Peach exclaimed as she put her mug in the sink.
Suddenly, her pantry door slammed open and out jumped the psychotic idiot, Fire Bro.
"OH MY GOD, DID YOU JUST SAY BIRTHDAY PARTY!? EEEEEK! I SO WANNA COME!" He yelled in a very hyper way.
Peach shrieked and backed away from him. "What the!? How long have you been in there!?"
"Oh, I dunno, about 3 days? Anyways, I wanna come to Luigi's birthday party! Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I? CAN I!?" Fire Bro repeatedly (and annoyingly) asked.
"NO! NOW GET OUT BEFORE I CALL THE MILITARY!" Peach yelled.
"Aww, that's no fun!" The psycho replied and immediately zoomed out of the castle.
Peach shook her head and rolled her eyes. "How the hell did he get in here in the first place? I have everything locked before I got to sleep...or do I...?"
The princess was starting to get nervous because if Fire Bro got in to her castle due to her carelessness, then who knows what else could get in? But, Peach decided to shrug it off for now and grabbed the invitation, her car keys, and her cellphone, and went out the door.
Mario just got done hearing the news of Goombella and Goombario being murdered. He celebrated this by making himself a Mushroom smoothie.
"YES! FINALLY I'M RID OF THOSE ANNOYING, OVER-TALKATIVE, SHRIMPY GOOMBAS! JOY TO THE WORLD!" Mario cheered and did a little dance.
Luigi waltzed in to the scene. "Um...Mario? How are you not sad about those two Goombas' deaths?"
"Dude, you've met them before! You've seen how annoying how they are! I was THIS close to sacrificing Goombella to the Shadow Queen that one time actually. Plus, there's the fact that she likes me...yuck! A Goomba having a crush on a human? That's something you only see in a crack pairing story!" The plumber complained and poured out the smoothie into a large cup.
Luigi sighed, feeling completely lost as to how Mario cannot even feel a little sad for their deaths. But, at the same time, he kind of saw where he was coming from. Those two DID talk a lot...maybe a little too much. Goombario did seem a bit obsessive about Mario as well. But he thought that all didn't matter now.
"So, um, my birthday party...we're still having it, right?" Luigi shyly asked.
"Duh! What makes you think we aren't?" Mario asked.
"Oh, I just thought the deaths would get in the way of it considering some of our friends are probably going to be upset about it." Luigi pointed out.
"Don't worry. It will all be fine. Just relax and snort some cocaine, kay?" Mario smiled and drank his smoothie.
"Okay. I guess I'll do that...WAIT, WHAT!?" Luigi suddenly shrieked.
Yoshi, Birdo, Diddy, Dixie, DK, Daisy and Rosalina were at Ztarbucks, all sitting at a table with their drinks in silence, because they all just heard the news about the Goombas' deaths. They were also waiting for Toad and Toadette to arrive.
"So...umm...here's a little fun fact. Did you guys know that Goombario had a Gyrados plushie? I've been meaning to buy it from him but I kept forgetting..." Yoshi spoke. Everyone stared at him like he was some weirdo. "What? I'm just trying to lighten the mood!"
"We understand, Yoshi. We just can't comprehend the fact that why anyone would want to kill those poor things...it just seems so sudden." Rosalina replied.
"Maybe it was just some killer trying to murder people for fun and those two just so happened to be nearby?" Diddy suggested.
"I doubt it considering no other murders have been reported recently." DK pointed out.
"Let's just drop this, okay? I don't wanna be sitting here talking about this depressing news while I'm at my favorite coffee shop in the entire universe!" Daisy exclaimed and gulped down her Chocolate Frappuccino.
"Well, they weren't the MOST popular Mario characters anyways..." Birdo scoffed.
"BIRDO!" Yoshi yelled.
"Sorry! ...But you know it's true, though." Birdo smirked at him.
"Man, where the hell are Toad and Toadette at? They should've been here by now!" Dixie said with impatience.
"Hi guys!" Yelled two familiar voices. Everyone turned around and they indeed saw Toad and Toadette walking in.
"Hey you two. How come you're late?" Daisy asked.
"Sorry. We went to the wrong Ztarbucks. Apparently Mushroom City believes in having 13 freaking Ztarbucks instead of just one or two!" Toad exclaimed.
"Oh, and we've got a surprise to show you guys! Check this out!" Toadette cheered with excitement. Her and Toad both lifted up their shirts, revealing a bond that was connected to the both of them. Everyone almost screamed in response.
"That's right, we're connected now! That way we'll stay by each other's side forever and ever and ever!" Toadette cheered again.
"Why on earth would you two do such a weird thing? That is honestly disgusting!" Rosalina shrieked.
"That is probably the most creepiest thing I've ever seen in my entire life...and I've eaten plenty of creepy stuff!" Yoshi commented, eyes still wide.
"Quit hating man! No one is ever going to separate us until the day we die!" Toad spat.
"Okay let's just stop talking about this freaky subject! So anyways, we're all still going to Luigi's party, right? Even with this awful news, we should still attend, correct?" DK asked.
Dixie nodded her head. "Definitely. But I swear to god, if Peach invites Jojora to the party, she WILL get a pie in the face! I can't stand that ugly, spoiled, childish, and menacing loser! She pisses me off!"
"I hear you girl. She's almost as bad as Wendy Koopa and Pauline are. But thankfully, Peach won't invite them so this party is surely going to be enjoyable!" Birdo reassured.
"I dunno Birdo...Peach HAS done some illogical stuff in the past...remember the time that Peach told us she walked into Bowser's new castle, thinking that she was on her way to the Cheesecake factory? Apparently, the dark exterior design and the fact that the castle is located in some plains wasn't a dead giveaway to her." Yoshi explained as he tried not to laugh at the princess' stupidity.
Toadette chuckled. "Oh yeah, I totally remember that! It's a good thing she wasn't spotted by the guards though...then Mario would have to save her for the billionth time..."
"Back on the topic of Luigi's party, does anyone know where the actual party is going to be located at?" Rosalina asked as she swirled her Vanilla frappuccino with her straw.
"We don't know. Peach said it will be a surprise location and the location will be put in the invitations she'll send out, which should be today." Diddy answered.
"Eh, knowing Peach, she'll probably host it at her castle or Luigi's mansion. She's so unoriginal sometimes." Birdo said as she rolled her eyes.
"Yeah...but let's just try to have some fun though, okay guys?" Toad said with a cheesy grin.
The Wario Bros. were sitting at the couch, watching Regular Show (A show on cartoon network if you didn't know). Wario was eating his usual garlic and Waluigi was texting someone.
"So, dude," Wario said with his mouth full of garlic, "Who do you think killed those two whiny Goombas?"
"Why do you wanna know?" Waluigi replied, not taking his eyes off his phone.
"Because I can't take my mind off of this stupid case! What if the person who killed them was Mario, huh? I mean, he hates the both of them so it would make sense...not that I blame him, to be honest." Wario said.
"Wouldn't be surprised if it was Mario either. He's already the hero of the Mushroom Kingdom so of course he would look innocent during all of this so no one would suspect him." Waluigi replied as he put his phone away.
"Hmm. Interesting. Wanna go interrogate him later?" Wario asked as he got up to get some water.
"Nah. Too much effort required on our parts. What do you think about Toad and Toadette though...they have those 'innocent' faces that could deceive practically anyone. Bleh, I hate innocent faces! They annoy me and make me want strangle myself!" Waluigi raged.
"Are you serious right now? Toad and Toadette? Those two couldn't even lay a punch on someone. They're the weakest people I know. Now Yoshi...there's someone who also would be the perfect killer. He's popular, everyone also loves him, he has a somewhat innocent face, he's super fast, and he's tough as well, so he'd be the perfect candidate actually." Wario pointed out.
"Hmm, point taken. He WOULD be perfect for this...a little too perfect..." Waluigi whispered the last part as he bit his nails.
The door bell suddenly rang.
"Eh? Now who could that be?" Waluigi groaned.
"Oh! It's probably Pauline! She asked me yesterday if she could come over today to borrow my onions cause she's making herself a nice little dinner tonight." Wario said as he opened the fridge and snatched a bag of onions, then headed over to the door.
"Seriously? That broad can't buy that stuff from the super market!?" Waluigi groaned again.
Wario opened the door and grinned at the sight of Pauline standing there. Pauline was dressed extra...'nice' today. Her usual dress seemed much shorter, exposing more of her legs, and more cleavage. Her hair was nicely curled and she had blue eyeshadow on which really made her eyes pop out.
"Um...h-hi Pauline...here's the...um...o-onions you wanted..." Wario said, handing the bag to her while blushing very hard. He was completely blown away by how sexy Pauline looked and was already starting to 'commit sins' in his head.
"Thanks Wario. I knew I could count on you. You are such a doll!" Pauline complimented with a wink. Wario could not stop grinning no matter how much he wanted to.
"N-no problem Pauline. Just...if you n-need anything else, you know who to ask!"
Pauline's smile faded a bit. "Well, actually, I was wondering if you wanted to come over tonight. It gets boring being alone all by myself and I don't want my huge dinner to go to waste. Plus, we could do other things besides eating..." Her smile grew again.
"Oh! Um, yes! Hell yes! I mean, um, that would be nice, Pauline. Sure. Of course. Definitely. Infinitely." Wario nervously answered and wiped the sweat off his forehead.
Waluigi heard all of this and rolled his eyes. "I swear, Wario is so desperate sometimes...actually, why the hell is Pauline of all people wanting to hook up with Wario? She's just as desperate as he is!"
"Excellent. Meet me at my place at 7 pm tonight. See ya later." Pauline said, flipped her hair back and walked back to her car.
Wario closed the door and his mouth was wide open in happiness. "Dude...DID YOU HEAR WHAT JUST HAPPENED!?"
"Yep. Every word of it. I ain't proud of you though, for hooking up with a chick like THAT! Listen dude, if you're gonna 'do it' then use protection. I've heard nasty rumors about Pauline so I ain't gonna let you risk yourself catching something." Waluigi stated while he rubbed his forehead in annoyance.
Peach parked her car in the parking lot and got out. She grabbed the sealed enveloped invitations and walked her way over to the Post Office and entered.
As soon as she stepped in the building, she stopped herself.
"Wait a second...why did I come here again?" Peach asked herself.
"Oh, hello Peach! I haven't seen you in a while. How are you?" Parakarry greeted.
"Hi Karry! Um, I was suppose to come here for something...but I forget what...I think it had something to do with cake..." Peach said as she wandered in her own train of thought.
The mailman raised an eyebrow. "Um, it's PARAkarry...and I assume you wanted to hand those letters in?" He pointed to the stack of invitations she was only. Peach suddenly gasped and laughed.
"Oh! That's right! I want these delivered out to the addresses written on each envelope. They are invitations to Luigi's birthday party, and you're invited to come too!" The princess happily exclaimed as she handed Parakarry the letters.
"Oh sweet! Thanks Peach! Where is the party going to be at?" Parakarry asked.
"It's going to be at Burger Queen and it will start at 6pm sharp so don't be late!" Peach promptly answered.
"Um, Burger Queen!? Why there of all places?" Parakarry said, a bit weirded out by the choice.
Peach raised an eyebrow but then laughed again. "Ohhhhh, I'm sorry! I meant Luigi's Mansion! You know, the one on Death Road? Yeah, it will be there 3 days from now. Ciao!" The princess then skipped on out while Parakarry was dumbfounded by what he just witnessed.
"I swear...that girl is such a stereotype."
Meanwhile, Wendy Koopa just got done taking her walk and entered her dad's castle.
"OH DAAAAAAAAAD! Where are you? I have something very important to tell you!" Wendy called out. As she was about to head up the stairs, a few loud knocks were heard on the door. She groaned as she hated visitors coming to the castle. She opened the door and saw Koops standing there with a grin.
"Hi there! Um, would you like to try out our new blueberry-flavored Sugar cookies? It only costs 5 coins per package and it is sure to brighten to up your day!" Koops said.
"SUGAR COOKIES!? I love those things sooooo much! Could I...have a sample, if possible?" Wendy said with uber-excitement.
"Well...um, I suppose it couldn't hurt. Here you go!" Koops reached into the plastic box and got out a cookie. Wendy reached forward and grabbed the cookie, but also quickly grabbed the plastic box and slammed the door then locked it. "HAHAHA! THANKS FOR THE COOKIES, SUCKER!"
Koops stood there in disbelief. "That...b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b- b-b-b-b-b-BITCH! Oh wow, did I really just say that? Huh. Well, I don't think I have any regrets saying it considering she IS one..." Koops said to himself and walked away.
Wendy walked up the stairs and basked in glory as she ate the delicious sugar cookies. She walked down the hallway and into Bowser's room, whose door was open. She saw Bowser quietly discussing something with Kammy.
"Hey dad! I've got something important to tell you!" Wendy spoke, which made both Bowser and Kammy jump in surprise.
"Oh Wendy, you scared us! Ahem...right. Uhh, hey, where did you get those sugar cookies from?" Bowser asked, already getting cravings for them.
"Oh, I just stole them from that Koops loser. These are really good you know! Probably even better than the lemon-flavored ones!" Wendy said in delight.
"Wendy...ANYTHING is better than lemon-flavored sugar cookies." Kammy scowled.
"Hmm. Alright then. Well, you better save me one then because I don't want you to eat them all like the last time I got a package." Bowser also scowled. "Anyways, what did you want to tell me?"
"Okay, so you know that crazy guy, Fire Bro? I bumped into him while I was on my walk and he was crying about how Luigi was having a birthday party and he wasn't invited, and also those two nerdy goombas, Goombella and Goombario, were murdered last night. He then talked about something else, I think it had something to do with tadpoles? Well anyways, I just walked away from him because I was already getting a headache. But this got me thinking...why don't we crash Luigi's party? You haven't done anything to torment them in a while so it would be the perfect opportunity to do it!" Wendy explained.
"Hmm... a birthday party, you say!? Bwahahahahaha! You have a nice point there, Wendy! I would LOVE to see their faces once I come crashing through the walls and eat all the cake! I just hope they don't get Coconut Cake though...I HATE COCONUT!" Bowser yelled.
"Yes yes, we should do it my lord! It would be the perfect plan, and they would never see it coming!" Kammy agreed while evilly laughing.
"OK, so it's settled. We'll do it. His birthday is in 3 days, right? The location will probably be somewhere predictable like Luigi's mansion or Peach's castle so we've got this in the bag." Bowser said while rubbing his hands.
"But...that talk about those two goombas being killed, that means there's a murderer on the loose, right? So, shouldn't we be more careful from now on?" Wendy asked.
"Ah, who cares about that! No one would DARE come to this castle to try to kill me, unless they want my foot crushing their face! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!" Bowser laughed once again.
Vivian, Flurrie, and Bombette were all at Bombette's house who just got done hearing the news.
"Oh dear, this is certainly a tragedy! Who would ever kill those poor, little Goombas? That's like turning a Wiggler into a pinata and throwing a party on the beach with it!" Flurrie exclaimed.
"I know, right? Poor Goombario...now he'll never have the amazing opportunity to play Luigi's Mansion: Dark Moon!" Bombette cried.
Vivian stood up with a determined look on her face. "Goombella...she was my best friend...-sniff- I am going to find out who did this!"
"What? Vivian, that's absurd! You're just putting yourself in the face of danger! You can't possibly figure out this mystery right now!" Flurrie said.
"There's a reason why those two were killed, Flurrie. I mean, why them? It has to be someone who knows them, who has some kind of grudge on them." Vivian answered.
"Orrrrrrrrrrrr it could just be some random killer and those two just so happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time." Bombette suggested to her.
"I don't think so, Bombette. I don't know why, but I've just got this huge gut instinct that there's something more to this. There has to be...there always is!" Vivian said as she rubbed her chin.
"How are you even gonna do this 'murder mystery solving' anyways? You don't have the proper equipment to do it, like those professional detective people." Flurrie pointed out.
"Hello, I'm a SHADOW siren! I can get into the crime areas with ease! And those other equipment? Well...you have a point there, but I still wanna see it. If you wish, you two can choose to join me." Vivian offered.
"Well...OKAY! I love murder mystery stories and movies and helping out is totally going to make me feel like I'm in one!" Bombette answered with excitement.
"I'm sorry my dears but I shall take no part in this. I have a mani-pedi at 3, a hair appointment at 5, a date with this glorious-looking creature called Raichu at 7, and going to a fan signing event where I'm the one signing the autographs!" Flurrie said.
"A fan signing event? But I thought your fan base only had 2 people in it?" Bombette asked. Flurrie fumed at this statement.
"THAT IS NOT TRUE! THOSE ARE ALL LIES, LIES, LIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEES!" The diva screamed and zoomed out of the house.
"Um...anyways! Let's get a move on, shall we?" Vivian gestured.
It was later in the evening and Yoshi was driving his car with Birdo in it back from grocery shopping.
"You know, Birdo, that stuff you said earlier about Goombario and Goombella was totally mean! I mean, sure, they are annoying, weird, talk too much, smartasses, insecure, shady, headache-inducing, and overrated, but you gotta have respect for the dead you know!" Yoshi said while Birdo rolled her eyes.
"Geez, have a sense of humor Yoshi! It was only a joke. For someone who's obsessed with fruit and is completely random sometimes, you sure take everything too seriously!" Birdo spat.
"I DO NOT TAKE EVERYTHING TOO SERIOUSLY! STOP JUDGING ME!" Yoshi suddenly screamed.
"See? You just did it right there! I can't even take YOU seriously, and you're my boyfriend!" Birdo yelled back.
"Well...uhh...at least I'm prettier than you!" Yoshi tried to make a comeback.
"Are you serious right now? Did you really just compare your looks to mine? You know what, that does it! STOP THE GODDAMN CAR THIS INSTANT!" Birdo angrily ordered.
"NO! THIS IS MY CAR AND I DO WHAT I WANT WITH IT!" Yoshi started turning red at this point.
"Yeah, the car that I bought with my money you moron!" Birdo pointed out to him.
"BUT I WAS THE ONE WHO PICKED IT OUT! YOU'RE THE ONE WHO WANTED TO CHOOSE THAT UGLY 80'S HIPPIE VAN THAT LOOKED LIKE A MUD TSUNAMI CRASHED ALL OVER IT!" Yoshi screamed even louder.
"GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! STOP THE CAR RIGHT NOW!" Birdo had enough and slammed her foot on the brakes and put the car into park while shoving Yoshi out of the car.
"You can't do this to me! I have lawyers you know!" Yoshi cried as he struggled to stand up due to him getting a scratch on his kneecap.
"Oh yeah? WELL SO DO I! Oh, and by the way, you know those grapes that 'disappeared' for no reason last week? Yeah, I was the one that ate ALL of those! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!" Birdo screamed with laughter and drove off, leaving Yoshi in shock.
Birdo pulled up to the driveway and turned the ignition off. She got out and grabbed some of the grocery bags in there, and slammed the door. She walked to the front door and opened it then put the bags on the kitchen counter.
"Ugh...Yoshi...you really drive me crazy sometimes...sometimes I wish I would've gone out with Ganondorf instead." Birdo said to herself while shaking her head. She heard a scuttling noise behind her, which made her jump. She turned around and screamed at the sight of a cloaked killer.
The killer brought a butcher knife down to her chest, right in the heart. Birdo screamed even more and fell to the ground with the knife sliding out of her wound. Pain ran throughout her entire body and she cried a little.
"HELP ME! PLEASE HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Birdo screamed as she tried to drag herself across the floor to the open front door while clutching her bloody wound.
The killer grabbed Birdo's feet and dragged her back and ran to the door and slammed it shut. They got their knife out again and stabbed Birdo in the back of the neck.
The poor dinosaur girl started gurgling up blood now as the killer pushed the knife even deeper into her neck. She stopped moving less and less until she wasn't even breathing at all.
EOC.
Sorry to any Birdo fans, but she had to go. I don't hate her or anything but I felt like she was the perfect candidate for an early kill in this story now. Anyways, so Vivian wants to investigate the deaths of Goombario and Goombella with Bombette in tow, but will she succeed or will she be stopped before she even finds a clue? Who do you think will live? Who do you think will die? Who do you think the killer(s) is/are?