Title: Solemn Deceit

Warnings: Emo(ish)!Al.

Summary: Ed commits suicide to fix a problem, leaving Al to fend for himself. No one knows what problem Ed killed himself to fix.

Word Count:

The next few days passed in that blur that always veiled over your eyes and memory when depressed. Al never remembered getting out of bed. Or eating for that matter. All he remembered was moving to Winry's house and all the blood from the suicide. He hadn't even changed clothes. Using the restroom must've been a subconscious act, for no evidence was left of that on him or his clothes. He felt filthy, he knew the stains from the blood touching his skin were going to stay for a while. He knew the tormented and agonized undertone in his eyes may never go away. But after three days (or was it more?) he decided to get up and be useful. He needed something to do to get his mind off of the bloody torment.

First he started with a shower. A good long one. One that started cold to wake him up and then he turned warm to relax. He puts on new clothes feeling slightly better and wanders into the kitchen to see if there was anything to munch on to get his blood sugar back on track. He finds some cheese and crackers and a bottle of water and he carries them out to the living room. There, he sees Winry sitting on the couch staring blankly at the turned off TV screen.

"Winry?" Al says around the food he had stuffed in his mouth and goes to sit by her.

"I can't believe he's actually dead. Dead and gone." She says in a hollow voice, sounding like she wasn't there in the present. Her eyes start to tear up and she buries her face in her hands. Tears escape out of her hands in between her fingers getting her work sweats wet and when she sniffled she sounded so pathetic that Al almost broke too. Almost. Instead he wrapped an arm around her shoulders, hugging her from the side, and rocking slightly back and forth.

"I'm...I'm sorry," Winry says after a few minutes, pushing away from Al. "I'm sorry. I'm so needy and dependant, really you're the one that should be crying right now." When Winry was off of her leave for Ed's death, she had to go back to Rush Valley and when she did that, Al decided he needed a job so he could support himself. Maybe he'd try to be a state alchemist-in honor of his brother, to get him out of wallowing in self-pity.

"It's ok. I'm done being depressed. I'm done crying," He says to her with the slightest smile, eyes level with hers. She sniffles once before crashing her lips desperately onto Al's. Al reacts with a start and then decides to go along with it. A kiss didn't mean much....right? 'specially in desperation. When Winry pulls away he turns his gaze to the side.

"Al...." Winry trails off shaking her head. She wipes the last of the tears from her face and sniffles one last time. "Why are you so determined not to cry? So determined to show no emotion, just like Edward?"

Al turns his head to match where his eyes were looking, flinching slightly at comparison to his brother. "I....I guess I'm kinda used to it. When I was a suit of armor I could, in a sense, cry but there were no tear ducts for tears to come from. Plus it'd always make brother sad to see me cry without tears." Al shrugs.

Winry slowly reaches a hand up and puts it on Al's cheek, making him face her again. "You don't have to hold it back around me," she says. Al shakes his head.

"Even so, tears don't change anything." Al stands abruptly and turns his back to her, head bowed as he remembered all the times crying-tearless or no, crying had never brought anything with it.

"Al, you've changed so much. You sound like Ed now." Winry says flinching at, yet another, unconscious comparison between the two brothers. Al bows his head lower and goes back to his room, closing the door behind him. Food left forgotten on the coffee table.

He said he was done crying. He said tears don't do anything. He knew it too. If all that was true, then why was moisture welling up at the corners of his eyes threatening to fall? He falls to his knees sobbing quietly into his hands, trying to decide if this was better or worse than the numbness of the past days.

Eventually, he got the tears to stop and he walks across the room to get tissues to get the water and snot off his face and hands. He needed a daily routine to get his mind off of the suicide. He needed his life back. He needed his older brother. Al shook that thought away as he threw away the tissues used to clean himself up and cough twice. He turns, looking out his window and deciding he needed to go outside and get some fresh air. The only thing being, he didn't want all the sympathy from the few people still living in the town of which he grew up.

Maybe life wouldn't be too bad. Different, sure. Ed had been Al's everything. But maybe it wouldn't be bad. What was it that Roy once told him? Life is what you make it. Maybe he was right. If he took this the wrong way, he'd look back to hate himself for it. But if he played it fine, then he'd be able to look back and be fine.

Al's stomach growled and he glared at it. His gaze then turned to the single clock in his room. Maybe he'd have lunch at his mother's grave. Ed would be buried beside her....if hia body had been at the scene. He'd still have a funeral, but no body would be there to be buried. Seems like déjà vu...

Al sighs, deciding to wait a little before eating and leaves his room to go sit by Winry again. A little moral support wouldn't hurt.

A/N: the chick on the cover of the book I finished a couple days ago is so hot XD but it's not like you care that much, Neways. Not like you can see the book XP

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Your loving Author

~Evelynn