*Warning: Curse words!*
Note: Alessandra and her friends and mother are all mine. Whereas the world and Force is sadly not.
Withdrawal
The rain fell like needles on my skin, waking me up even more as I fought to keep the effects of the death sticks out of my head. But the serum was too strong and all I could do was stumble and slosh my way back to the abandoned Jedi Temple. I didn't even remember going through the gate. But I do remember thinking I wasn't going to make it up the many flights of stairs and through the door. But the next thing I know I was collapsing on the cold marble floor of the main entry hall.
The freezing rain had drenched my skimpy dress. I shook violently as if I were in the middle of an earthquake but sinking into glacial water and that water was filling up my lungs, cutting off all air. My head began to pound in time with my racing heart. To make it even worse, my stomach lurched. Weakly I rolled over, barely holding myself up as I dry heaved and coughed until all those drinks made themselves known again. And even when there wasn't anything else my body continued to try to make sure all the toxicants were expelled from my body. Finally, completely drained, I flopped back to the floor, nearly missing the pool of vomit. I don't know how long I laid there and honestly I didn't care. I curled into a ball, trying to keep my body from rattling apart and begged for death to come swiftly.
Then it happened. The most excruciating craving consumed my senses. My body began screaming at me, pleading for a death stick. My body was no longer in my control but at the mercy of my addiction. I jerked apart, sprawling across the icy floor. I watched as my hand stretched out into the air, searching for what I wanted. I literally screamed for it, my cry echoing around the hall, clashing with the pealing thunder outside. I shot up and snatched my bag. Violently I raked through it, looking for any sign of its sweet nectar. I dumped out its contents. My head swam so badly I could hardly focus on the items that littered the floor. There was a single empty vile. I snatched it and with a shaking hand tipped it back, hoping that a drop would slip out. But there was nothing. Frustrated, I threw the only hope of getting away from this pain across the room.
"Dammit!" I yelled after it. "I need a hit!"
But there wasn't anyone to hear me. I was all alone. I brought my knees up to my chest and began rocking back and forth, whispering, over and over again, "I need a hit."
"Fuck!" I screamed as my body convulsed, sending me to the floor again. "I need a hit! Give me a hit, dammit!" My heart beat loudly in my ears, freezing chills wracked my body.
"Alessandra, darling," An ethereal voice whispered. Reluctantly, I looked up. A ghostly blue-hued figure of my mother knelt beside me, her hand outstretched towards me, as if she were going to caress my head.
"Mom. Mom. I need –I need a death stick. I need one," I whimpered.
"No. you don't need it, honey." Her voice was soft and caring.
"Yes I do!" I yelled. "I need one! I'm gonna die!"
"You're not going to die, sweetheart. You're going to be fine."
"NO! I'M NOT! I want to DIE!"
My mother's ghost sighed, her faced pained. "Oh honey. Don't talk like that. I promise you're going to be just fine. Why have you turned away from everything that your father and I have taught you?"
"Don't lecture me Mom! Don't even start! You're dead! I can do whatever I want now! You left me! So just go!"
Hurt colored her face. She pulled away. "You're going to be fine at the end of this, sweetheart. Stronger than ever. And I've always been with you."
"I don't care Mom! I just want a death stick!" I yelled. "And you're a liar! Just leave!"
But she was gone and I was alone again. The only sound was the distant roll of thunder, the pounding of rain on the roof and maybe even a leak somewhere.
I gritted my teeth against the bone shattering shakes and the cold. Moans of pain because all I knew the sound of. The want for a death stick bombarded my mind. Eventually, in this state I think I fell into a fitful sleep.