A/N: Sorry for the long wait for this chapter. I just started school, and I'm pretty overwhelmed between it and my job. I promise you I will never abandon a story again, and this fic will be finished. I knew I'd be busy once school started, which is why I chose not to write another big chapter fic. I think I'll stick to oneshots for a while once this fic is finished.

Twitter/Tumblr: LiteraryLolita

Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi. If I did, I'd force Eli to tweet something sweet to his girlfriend. Seriously, just one damn thing.

"Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends."-The Beatles, "With A Little Help From My Friends"

"So," Katie starts, "are you as red as the tomatoes growing in the Degrassi garden because you walked in on your ex, or because you walked in on your stepbrother?" She makes herself comfortable on my bed, and my eyes dart to her long enough to see she is now clothed in a pair of Jake's boxers and a black t-shirt.

Her question startles me, because the fact that Jake is my ex hasn't even crossed my mind since the horrifying incident that occurred five minutes ago. "The brother thing," I stutter. "Also, I just saw your boobs." My face flushes as I recall the image. The very, very vivid image.

Katie laughs. "Well, my boobs are nothing compared to yours." She gestures toward my chest. I look down without glorifying her statement with a response.

"Clare, come here," Katie's voice softens as she pats the spot next to her. I warily join her.

A few moments of extremely awkward silence pass before either of us speaks. "So…what did you want to talk about?" I ask dumbly.

Katie smiles and shrugs. "I don't know, really. I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

My blush deepens. "I'm fine. Just mildly mortified." We both awkwardly chuckle, and some of the tension in the air fades away.

"Well, I can see why!" Katie's throws her head back in laughter.

I can't help but fall into a pile of giggles as well. "Actually, I think I'M the one who saw things!"

We laugh until our stomachs hurt, and the smile on Katie's face makes me feel as though I can trust her.

I summon up the courage to ask the question on my mind. "What made you decide to sleep with Jake?"

Katie's eyes widen, and I'm afraid I've offended her.

"I'm sorry!" I bury my face in my hands. "I shouldn't have asked. It's none of my business."

"Clare, hey, it's okay…" Katie pats my back and I cautiously look up. "You just surprised me, that's all." She folds her hands in her lap, but doesn't break eye contact like I would if I were the one talking about my sex life. "Honestly?" She grins and throws her hands up in excitement. "It's fun. I really like Jake, and if sleeping with him makes me feel good, why shouldn't I do it?"

She makes a valid point. My stomach twists with butterflies at thoughts of feeling good with Eli. Before my mind can descend too far into its library of Eli fantasies, however, Katie's voice snaps me out of it. "So I take it you and Eli haven't done it yet?"

Wow. She's blunt. "No," I admit. "But…" I pause before continuing and take a moment to decide if I really want to talk to Katie about this. I do. "We have done stuff though."

"Oh?" Katie asks with a raised eyebrow and sparkling eyes. She adjusts herself so that she's sitting Indian-style before leaning in. "What kind of stuff?"

"Uh…" I wring my hands. "Well, we've seen each other naked." I feel my face heat again due to both the words falling from my lips and the extremely good memories that validate said words.

"And?" Katie gestures for me to go on.

"And…" I pause, thinking of a way to phrase it with some sort of class. "We've touched each other." I take a deep breath before admitting the truth out loud for the first time. "He makes me feel really good, and every single day I think about sleeping with him. I want to. I want to so, so much."

"So why don't you?" Katie asks, confused.

"I don't know," I answer honestly.

"Is it because of the ring?" She looks down at my hand, and I realize I'm playing with my purity ring again.

"I'm not sure. I don't really think waiting for marriage makes sense anymore, at least not for me, but…"

"You're worried about what people will think." It's not a question, and I realize she's right. The thought of people knowing I'm no longer "pure" terrifies me. What if they think less of me?

"Yes," I whisper. "If I sleep with Eli, I'll have to stop wearing my ring, and if I stop wearing my ring…"

"Everyone will know," Katie finishes for me.

"Yeah."

"Clare, it's nobody's damn business what people think." Katie takes my hands. "You are a good person. You're smart, kind, driven, and NOT defined by a tiny piece of silver you wear on your finger. If anyone reacts differently, well, they can fuck off."

I laugh. She's right, but that doesn't really make it any easier. "I think I've always cared a little bit too much about what people think." Visions of public embarrassment on a very special bench flash across my mind. I've at least come a long way since that first afternoon with Eli so long ago.

"There's no shame in having sex," Katie says with a squeeze of my hands. Her eyes are tender when she continues the thought. "But there's no shame in waiting either."

She's right on both accounts. It's nice to have a girl to talk to about this stuff. Alli is a better candidate now that she would have been a year ago, but she's always so busy. We haven't had a girls' night in weeks. "Can I ask you something personal?"

"More personal than why I chose to have sex with your brother?" She teases.

I grimace as the image again enters my mind. "Yes."

"Sure, Clare."

"Your first time…did it…did it hurt?"

A look mixed with pain and regret crosses Katie's face, and I fear I've gone too far. Everyone knows what happened with her and Drew, and it can't be easy for her to talk or think about. Before I can apologize, however, she whispers "yes."

"Oh," I respond. "That's what I figured." I may be sheltered, but I do read Sizzle Teen and have sat through an embarrassing-for-all-who-participated-sex-ed class. Your first time hurts.

"Not just physically, Clare." Katie lets go of my hands. "I…Drew…" her voice cracks. "He broke my heart."

This time, I take Katie's hands. "I'm so sorry he was an asshole to you, Katie."

"Wow, you just swore!" Some of the pain leaves Katie's face, and I'm glad my mild corruption makes her feel better.

"Yeah, well, I'm not exactly 'Saint Clare' anymore."

Katie rolls her eyes. "Compared to most people, you are certainly a saint." She gives me a serious look. "I regret sleeping with Drew so, so much. But with Jake…" her face takes on a dreamy quality, one I'm pretty sure I adopt whenever I think of or talk about Eli. "He treats me well. We're both having fun, and we really care about each other."

I smile. "I'm glad he found you." It's true; Jake is happier with Katie than I've ever seen him, including the times he and I were together. Oddly enough, this fact doesn't bother me in the least.

"Me too!" Katie smiles. "But Clare, you have to be sure," she warns. "You have to be SURE it's what you want if you sleep with Eli. You only get one first time, and I really, really wish I had waited for someone who treated me even half as well as Jake does."

I don't have to worry about that. Not only does Eli treat me like I'm the love of his life, he treats me as his equal. He's my best friend. "I love Eli, Katie. I can't imagine being with anyone else."

"Well, do you think Eli feels the same way?"

"I know he does," I reply with absolutely no hesitation.

"Yeah, I think everyone knows," Katie notes. "The way that boy looks at you…"

"Yeah." Eli's loved me for a long time. No one else has to tell me how he feels; he makes it perfectly clear to me every day.

"Are you prepared?"

I laugh before responding. "I think we just established that I am!" And it's true: I'm undoubtedly ready to lose my virginity to Eli.

"No, Clare!" Katie lightly smacks my shoulder. "I meant protection!"

"Oh!" I say. "That."

"Yes, that! It's important. I'm on the pill myself, but there are tons of options…."

"I've actually been on the pill since freshman year," I interrupt. Katie opens her mouth in shock, but I don't let her voice any thoughts. "Bad periods," I explain. "But after…" I stop, for I don't think Alli would appreciate me telling anyone about her pregnancy scare, especially someone she hardly knows. "I'll just be using condoms too. Better safe than sorry."

"That's smart," Katie nods. "So. Sounds like you're all ready for sex, Clare!" She grins. "Congratulations!" I try not to blush too hard.

"I guess I am," I admit before a sudden realization comes over me. "But I…"

"But you…"

"But I don't have any sexy lingerie to wear," I quickly whisper. "Oh Clare," Katie laughs. "You don't need any of that!" She stands, marches to my dresser, and opens the top drawer. "Ah, here we go." She pulls out a dark purple lace-trimmed bra and throws it at my head.

"Katie!" I shriek.

"What? Lace is sexy."

I look at the garment she chose and realize she's right: it IS an attractive piece of clothing. That doesn't make this any less awkward, though. "This is so weird."

"Relax, Clare." Katie continues rummaging through my underwear drawer. "This is what girls do."

"Alli and I have never done anything like this…" I mumble.

"So? Doesn't mean you and I can't." She pulls up a pair of white cotton panties and shakes her head at them before tossing them back in the drawer. "Marisol and I do this kind of shit all the time."

That's not something I particularly want to think about, so I just nod. Katie holds up a pair of silky lavender underwear I'd forgotten I owned. "These will do," she decides.

Footsteps sound outside my door before it's flung open. "Clare, Katie, look, I'm so sorry-" Jake walks in quickly from the hall looking flushed. His voice falters at the sight of us. He stares blankly at Katie holding my panties then at me holding my purple bra. Without a word, he shakes his head and turns around to exit the room.

"Oh my God," Katie laughs. It's infectious; I can't help but join her. "How's THAT for an embarrassing moment?"

"I'll just add it to the list," I comment between giggles.

Katie sits on the bed and hands me the underwear. "Seriously, this is cute enough. Besides," she smirks, "I doubt Eli will be looking at what's COVERING you. In fact, he'll probably be far too eager to get it off."

"Yeah," I reply, "you're probably right about that." I smile at the thought of Eli's face covered with joy every time I take my shirt off.

Katie stands and brushes her knees. "So are you good here?"

"Yes," I reply. "Thank you."

"No problem!" Katie walks to the door but turns around before exiting. "Clare, I'm really glad we're friends."

I smile. "Me too."

She leaves, and I set my "sexy undergarments" aside. I take my ring off and spend a good five minutes looking at it while pacing across my room. It has meant so much to me for so long, but I'm ready to let it go. The girl who made a purity pledge disappeared a long time ago, and there's nothing wrong with that. People grow up; people change. When my steps finally cease, I place the ring in the bottom drawer of my jewelry box with only the slightest bit of hesitation.

I reach for the phone and hit speed dial 3. "Eli? Can I spend the night after all?"

A/N: Guess what the next chapter is. Reviews are appreciated.