Cupid's Arrow of Doom, Chapter 2
A Danny Phantom fanfiction by Dustin M. Dixon
As Danny walked in through the front door of his house, the warm, inviting smell of cookies perked him up slightly. He walked into the kitchen to see heart-shaped cookies lying on a plate, which was itself lying on the kitchen table. As all of this came into view, Danny also noticed Jack trying to snatch a cookie off the top of the plate, only for him to be smacked on the hand by Jazz, who frowned at him.
"Dad, cut it out!" she nearly shouted. "These cookies are for the teachers and my fellow classmates!"
"Who happen to be guys." Danny commented dryly.
"Who happen to be g—GAH!" Jazz clutched her head with her hands before grinning awkwardly up at Jack's stern face. "He-he's kidding of course."
"I bet Brad will be happy to hear that!" Danny grinned, pointing toward his older sister while winking.
"Brad?!" Jack looked stunned. "You have another boyfriend?! AWESOME! " he ran down the stairs, presumably to grab the Anti-Creep Stick. Jazz ran over to the stairs and called down after him.
"Dad, no! He's just a friend!" she called out in a panic, before angrily turning to Danny, just as Sam and Tucker walked in. "What's WITH you?!"
"Valerie turned him down for the Dumpty Humpty concert." Sam frowned.
"Thanks for reminding me." Danny scowled. "Sometimes I wish I didn't have these… you know… ghost powers…" he finished quietly. "It'd make it a lot easier for the one girl who likes me for me to, you know… not have a… ghost-hunting career…"
"Why are you whispering? The lab's soundproof." Jazz shrugged.
"But the stairwell leading DOWN to the lab ISN'T." Danny pointed out. A slight pause occurred between the four teenagers before Tucker spoke up again.
"Maybe it's time to consider ANOTHER option date-wise?" he grinned slyly, glancing over toward Sam, who suddenly grinned awkwardly before elbowing Tucker hard in the stomach.
"SHUT IT." She whispered harshly before resuming the grin. "So why don't we get on up to your room and figure out something to do for the rest of the evening?"
"Whatever." Danny shrugged, and the three friends left the kitchen. Jazz stood there for a minute before realizing that the new batch of cookies had been in the oven for too long.
"My cookies!"
As Tucker shut the door behind him, he watched Danny fall onto his bed. "Man, you're really bummed about this whole Valerie thing."
"She actually accepted me for who I am."
"WRONG. She accepted Danny FENTON for who he is… or HALF is… you get the point!" Sam argued.
"Is this the rest of high school?" Danny continued, seemingly ignoring Sam. "Am I gonna be a dateless loser for the rest of my teenage life?"
"Only till college." Sam didn't miss a beat responding to him. "Then everyone's standards drop." She smirked. "Ah, the crushing stone hand of higher education. I love you, college."
"Reassuring." Danny smirked half-heartedly. "Man…" he sighed as he pulled out one of Jazz's cookies. "Happy early Singles Awareness Day."
"You stole one of Jazz's cookies? Man, she is gonna KILL you." Tucker looked horrified.
"She'll have to realize I took it first." Danny smirked.
"What's with her today anyway?" Sam asked.
"This is like the ONE day of the year Jazz acts like a normal teenager instead of the brainiac we all know." Danny explained.
"But it's not even Valentine's Day yet." Sam shrugged.
"This is just like that time in first grade, remember Danny?" Tucker asked.
"Oh yeah… what was that guy's name? Ted?"
"It was Ned. Anyway, Jazz had their mom bake cookies the day before Valentine's Day." Tucker continued. "Seeing as this was third grade and all, he didn't exactly think of her that way. She was pretty devastated… I mean, for like the rest of the day. The next morning, she was back to normal."
"Wow, just like that?" Sam looked surprised.
"Just like that."
"Could we talk about something OTHER than some guy my sister had a crush on nine years ago?"
"Well, we DID come up here to talk about what we're gonna do. Movie or Nasty Burger?" Sam asked.
"Cyber Cop 3: The Revengening!" Tucker suggested. "It's action-y!"
"And violent." Danny pointed out. "Sure, let's go watch that!" Sam merely shrugged as the three got up and started for the door again, only to hear his sister screaming angrily.
"DANNY! GIVE ME BACK MY COOKIE!"
"Uh… leave out the window?" Tucker asked. Hearing the sound of Jazz stomping upstairs caused Danny to quickly agree, turn into his ghostly alter-ego, and fly his two friends out of the window intangibly.
On the following day, in the wee hours of the morning as school began at Casper High, Cupid and Vlad stood upon the rooftop of the educational facility.
"Now normally I hit people with arrows that make them fall for the first person they see…" Cupid started to explain. "…but since the odds of every girl in Casper High seeing this Danny kid are a million to one, I'm gonna work my special arrows… I just need some of his DNA."
"Oh, that's simple. I've been carrying around a jar with his ectoplasm in it for a while now." Vlad chuckled.
"…You kept a jar with his ectoplasm… why?"
"Well, I mean, I'd meant to use it as a secondary sample to clone Daniel, but I suppose I could let you borrow a tiny speck of it." Vlad reasoned.
"Oh. Well then fork it over!" Cupid held out his hand, and Vlad handed him the jar, from which he dabbed a cotton swab onto a small portion of the ectoplasm. From there, he touched the swab to a brightly-glowing arrow. "One of these babies will make every girl in Casper High fall in love with Danny Fenton!" He loaded the special arrow onto his bow and poofed away, appearing in the sky above, where he drew back the string on his bow and let the special arrow fly…
Meanwhile, Danny, Sam, and Tucker met at the front doors to Casper High.
"Man, that was a letdown. Great call, Tucker." Sam rolled her eyes.
"Hey, how was I supposed to know the third film was gonna reek?!"
"Four words, Tuck: Beverly Hills Cop 3." Danny's eyes narrowed in disappointment.
"Why did you bring that up? What did I do to you?!" Tucker looked horrified.
"FIVE words, Tucker." Danny retorted. "Cyber Cop 3: The Revengencing."
"I'm sorry already!" Tucker cringed.
"Oh come on Danny…" Sam said, changing her tune somewhat from the last time she'd spoken up. "It wasn't ALL bad! Remember the guy who threw up in the front row? Hilarious!" she grinned widely.
"Sorry Sam, I don't really have much of a sense of humor today." Danny sighed, not even noticing Paulina and Star calling out to him as he passed them by. Sam, however, took heed of it.
"Did Star just call you by your first name?" Sam looked understandably weirded out.
"That IS pretty weird." Tucker pointed out. "Usually she calls you 'Fenton' or 'freak' or 'weirdo'."
"He gets the point, Tucker." Sam's eyes narrowed in boredom, as she started taking notice that they were gaining quite the female following. "Well… this is new." At this moment, Danny finally noticed what was going on.
"…Whoa. Do I have something on my back or some other such nonsense?"
"Yes you do, Danny." Paulina spoke up. "You have ME." She then hugged him tightly.
"Back off, Paulina! He's MINE!" Star shouted, shoving Paulina off of Danny.
"In your dreams!" Paulina scoffed.
"BRING IT!" Star screamed, brandishing her perfectly manicured nails.
"Oh, it has been BROUGHT!" Paulina mirrored Star's action, and soon all the girls that had begun to follow Danny, Sam, and Tucker were at each others' throats.
"Dude… girls are FIGHTING OVER YOU." Tucker's shock knew no bounds.
"…" Danny stared on for a moment, his jaw slack, before he did the only thing he could do… show off his biggest, widest, cheesiest grin ever.