I'M BACK GUYS! (I still alive, thank you very much)

I'm sorry it took me this long to update, but I was a little busy with my school so... yeah. I'm really, really, really sorry.

Anyway, I want to thanks all the people that fav-ed, is following or reviewed my fic you guys are awesome and I love you!

NOW!

The updates of this story are going to be way tooooooo slow so please, please, PLEASE bear with me, to be honest I'm just going to update every now and then so... yeah... please be patient...

And please guys, is painfully obvious that this is a Fem Ryoma fanfic (I'm a fan of gender-bender so deal with it) so please if you don't like DON'T READ!

This is kind of EmInAlOvEr's Looking Away Challenge.

If you are a little lost: This is an alternative universe fic. Ryoma is a year younger than Hiruma and Mamori doesn't exist (sorry Mamori fans).

Rated T because because I'm paranoid! Rate might change.

And NOW!

Disclaimer: Eyeshield 21 and PoT are not mine (unfortunately) I just own the plot and a few characters I might put later.

Summary: It hurts when you discover that you have been betrayed, but it hurts even more when you realize it and it's too late... this happened to me, I was betrayed by those who I considered my friends, my family, but I'm not going to cry, they don't deserve my tears, but I also don't want revenge, even when they hurt me... so I'm going away, where they can't hurt me ever again.

Pairing: AllxRyoma (for now)

Warnings: Female Ryoma

"Blah..." talking

'Blah...' thinking

"Blah..." dreams/flashbacks

Published: 05-26-13

Updated: 06-21-13

America

- Restart Of My Life -

(I Won't Let You Hurt Me)

*Last Time*

"Oh? so your name is Rei-chan?" asked the tensai.

"So what pretty boy?" I huffed in annoyance.

"Ne, do you think we'll be able to talk with Ryoma about this?" I was taken aback with the rest but didn't let it show in my face, didn't he wanted me out of the team like the others?

"That won't be possible, he will be long gone by the time you reach his house" I said.

"That does't mean we can't call him right?" he got his cell phone out and dialed my number (who knows who gave it to him).

RING. RING.

"Sorry I think that's mine" I smirked before flipping it open "hello?"

"W-wha-"

"Oh, I forgot to tell you that he left it here?" I smirked evilly showing them the phone.

"You actually don't want us to talk with him right?" he asked darkly.

"No"

"Why? we are his friends" most of them winced at that including Tezuka.

"That's what you say, you could be a bunch of backstabbers for all I know, but to answer you question, you lot are not good enough for him" I glared at them hotly.

"What?" he hissed in anger.

"You never will"

Ryoma's PoV

"Why you little..." the snake growled at me and I glared in return.

"Shut it snake!" the peach snickered from behind him and I glared at him also "you too peach-butt!"

"Hey!" he glared at me.

"What do you mean by that" the tensai asked catching my attention once again.

"So the pretty boy is no tensai at all, he can even understand what I said" I smirked at his angry face "alright, I'll tell you" he seemed taken aback at my willingness making my smirk widen even more, heh idiot "like I said before, you are not good enough for Ryoma" I said absently, looking at my nails and brushing my bangs out my face with my other hand.

"Why?" came the strangled voice of the cat-man and I blinked in surprise.

"Aka-kun, could you be a dear and please go ahead of me and tell my dear cousin that this will take a little longer than I planned?" I asked with a sweet smile making him blush.

"H-h-h-hai! R-Rei-chan" he turned back before casting me a worried look and finally disappeared behind the doors after a reassuring nod from my part.

I quickly reverted my attention to Seigaku who were waiting anxiously for my answer, well, some of them were...

"Why? why are we not good enough for Ryoma?" demanded to know the cat-man once more.

"Why? isn't it obvious? Ryoma is too good for you because even when he was a cocky bastard, he never played with any of your feelings, you in the other hand, not only lied to him but also planed to crush him with your words" I explained and they flinched "you wanted to send him away now that you reached your goal and have no use of him anymore" they flinched again, at least most of them... "and the worst of all is that you planned to never tell him ngthe truth" their eyes suddenly filled with guilt, as if that would change anything.

"Y-You!" peach butt stammered.

"Yes, I heard every single word" I admitted and they looked to the spot where Kirihara was a few moment ago, fear in their eyes, I immediately understood.

"Aka-kun didn't heard you, otherwise you would have the entire Rikkai Dai and Hyotei teams here" I said and realization seemed to flash on the pretty boy eyes.

"...What do you want?" he asked, mmm, maybe he wasn't an idiot after all.

"I don't want to see you near him ever again, you won't tell anyone about your betrayal and I will also keep my mouth shut, deal?" I asked.

"Deal" said peach-butt without any trace of remorse, which made my chest hurt.

I turned my back towards them when peach-butt tried to give me a handshake and started waking away from them.

"Why are you doing this?" I heard cat-man ask.

"Because if I don't..." then I will let myself be fooled again, and I don't want to "then Ryoma will get hurt" even more...

"We would never hurt Ryoma" the tensai's voice sounded strangled and hurt.

"You already did" my voice cold and a little shaky.

And with nothing more I stormed out of the room... and their lives...

I ran.

I ran like dead itself was behind me.

I'm not sure how far, or for how long, but it didn't mattered to me, I just wanted to be away from those persons, from Keigo, from Rikkai Dai and Kintarou, from... from... everything!

I finally stopped when I realized how late it was, the sun was already going down...

I quickly looked around trying to identify where I was, much to my surprise, I found myself in the courts where bou-I mean Seigaku's captain and I played after I came back from America...

"I bet they are celebrating right now..." I said as I thought about them "they must be so happy that I won't be with them anymore..." I sniffed sadly and bit back a whimper "it's not like I care" I tried to convince myself.

"Then why are you crying?" a voice said behind me and I yelped "if you really don't care, then why are you crying?" turning around I found a boy about my age, or maybe a year older than me with jet black hair and deep jade eyes looking at intently, he was munching a gum while his eyes pierced my skin, all in all he looked terrifying, but strangely enough, I didn't felt afraid of him "if it's really true that you don't care, then why do you look like you are going to break any minute?" I blinked in surprise, why would he care? we are nothing more than complete strangers, why is he even talking to me?

"That's none of your business" I tried to maintain my voice strong, but I couldn't, it came out shaky and hoarse.

"That's true" he said as he walked near me "but you should remember always that those who hurt you are not you friends" I blinked in surprise once again.

"Why...? why are you telling me this?" why?

"No reason really" he said simply and started walking away.

"Hey, wait" I begged him but he merely spared me a glance.

"Name is Hiruma Youichi" he said "don't forget it chibi" and he just walked away.

"Hiruma... Youichi...?" why would he help me...? "what a weird guy" I concluded after a moment of silence and suddenly I remembered something "KEIGO!" damn, I forgot about him and Rikkai Dai! crap, they must be looking for me!

"It's alright Rei" a hand suddenly patted my head and I looked up staring straight into my cousin eyes "I'm not mad" he smiled at me.

"But..."

"I know that you needed sometime to be alone after I heard what happened from Kirihara" he said.

"Are you mad?" I couldn't help but ask.

"At you? no, at Seigaku, damn right I am" he said clenching his other hand.

"It's fine, I already talked with them" I said.

"So?"

"They won't say a thing and I won't say a thing, of course I made clear that I won't come back to Seigaku" I explained.

"That's it? no revenge and nothing? you're going to let them get away with hurting you?" he asked angrily at him.

"...Yeah..." I admitted.

"Why? they deserve to suffer!" he argued.

"I know but..." I

"But?"

"I can't Kei, I can't hurt them" I'm pathetic "even when I know they don't care for me, I can't bring myself to hurt them, I care deeply for them" I cried in anguish "I still see them as my precious friends even when I know that they will never see me as such" I sobbed, trying to make the pain in my heart go away.

"Reiko..." strong arms wound themselves around and brought me into a tight embrace "I'm sorry I couldn't help you"

"It's alright Kei" I reassured him "it's not you fault"

"But!"

"I told you that it's fine" I whacked him in the head lightly.

"What are you going to do now?" he asked after a moment of silence.

"America" I answered.

"America? why?" he asked confused.

"I still need to finish the US Open" I started explaining "and I think it would be good for me to be away from here" I admitted "the only reason I came back was because I wanted to help Seigaku win the tournament... no offense"

"Non taken, so... when are you leaving?" he asked.

"The sooner the better"

WAAAAAAAHHHHH! I'm sorry it was a little rushed (and crappy), but I really wanted to update this fic already!

*Tensai: genius

Also, please be patient I know you have a lot of questions, but all will be solved in due time.

I hope you like it aaaaaaaaaaaaand... don't forget to review XD

And sorry for the grammar mistakes

I-chan out~ (or Mia, whatever you like)

Bye bye!