GAIGE: Hello, subscribers! Gaige here, still alive and on Pandora.
GAIGE: Liar's Burg was fun. Well, except for all the murderous bandits. And the bullymongs. And there was this flock of rakks that we didn't see until like three seconds before they were on top of us. Okay, mostly, it sucked, but we met Sir Hammerlock! He has a robotic arm, like me! Well, not exactly like me, mine is way more awesome—I'm pretty sure his doesn't do anything other than, you know, be an arm—but still, he's a pretty chill dude.
GAIGE: So, right, there's kind of...an elephant in the living room I need to discuss. [deep breath] I...killed some people today. Not Deathtrap, me. I mean, I had no choice, there were just so many bandits, we were getting overwhelmed. Yesterday, Salvador and Axton were able to handle most of the bullymongs, but that wasn't an option here. Maya tried to get me to stay back, but they just kept coming and we were surrounded and I had this gun we found in a refuse pile and...
GAIGE: [sniffling] I don't know if I've had time to get over Marcy's death, or if using Deathtrap to get past customs inured me to it, or maybe it was that the bandits were shooting at me at the time, but...I'm okay. I'm seriously, surprisingly okay with it. Like I said, they were shooting at me. Fair's fair, right? I mean, okay, maybe I had a little bit of PTSD when one guy's head exploded all over me, but a couple hours later and I was fit as a fiddle!
GAIGE: Once I was up and running again, Hammerlock gave us some directions. There was a nearby Crimson Raider outpost—that's the resistance, most of them used to be Crimson Lance before Atlas went belly-up—that got abandoned when Hyperion moved in. We got some decent shields there, which was a fricken' godsend. I mean, Insta-Health works wonders, but, you know, better to not get hurt in the first place. Preventative care.
GAIGE: Anyway, did a couple minor things for Hammerlock—he needed some bullymong hair because he's writing an almanac on Pandoran wildlife, there was a midget riding on one that he wanted dead, that kind of thing—and by the time we had finished all that, our ECHO's had finally learned our behavior and fighting patterns, downloaded the relevant software updates, and re-mapped our implants! In other words, everyone gets their action skills back, and I am proven to be as awesome as usual. No, no, more awesome. Because I was the one who noticed first, which meant that the first any of the others heard of it was when a legless, levitating death robot digistructed out of thin air and started slashing bad guys! Can you say dynamic entrance? Oh, though Deathtrap's not as strong as he was before, the ECHO's still aren't anywhere close to done restructuring, but, you know. Baby steps.
GAIGE: Anyway, so we followed Claptrap to his ship, and Handsome Jack called us. Like, three or four times. To brag about his freaking pony. Ugh, I swear, I think he might be almost as bad as Marcy Holloway. Almost.
GAIGE: Oh, and before I forget, yes, Maya really is a Siren. You should have seen Axton's face when Captain Flynt just started floating with this purple-blue glow around him. [snorting laugh] It was so funny I almost stumbled into one of the fire things he had everywhere.
SALVADOR: Don't forget I'm the one who saved you!
GAIGE: Yeah, but...ugh, I'm completely out of order here. Okay, so Captain Flynt was Claptrap's previous owner. Jailer, whatever. Claptrap's ship was...docked? I'm not sure what the, you know, word is here, but there was a crane on the back of Flynt's ship, holding Claptrap's little dinghy. So as we got closer and closer to Claptrap's ship, we were fighting more and more of Flynt's men. We were doing pretty well, I think. I guess. I haven't really killed dozens of people before, but. Yeah. We survived, they didn't. I'm taking that as a win.
GAIGE: Right, so we fought off Flynt's first mates, Boom and his brother Bewm—I know, don't even say it, I know—which gave everybody a chance to show off. Salvador started blasting away with two guns at once, Zero turned invisible, Axton's turret was kinda cool...it was a pretty awesome fight. Maya didn't phaselock anyone, which I think she did on purpose so that when she did it later, it was more shocking. She's got a little mean streak in her. I like it.
GAIGE: Well, Axton was a little too trigger-happy with the cannon, so we got separated from Claptrap. Anyway, killed more people, found the annoying little robot, he opened the door to Captain Flynt for us. Oh, and Claptraps still can't use stairs. Another reason levitation is awesome!
GAIGE: Which brings me to Flynt himself. We fought him on the deck of his ship, and he had these giant grills that shot out pillars of flame every couple minutes. Man clearly liked fire. I can respect that. I mean, he's obviously wrong, shock is the best, but hey, whatever, everyone is entitled to their opinion. Even when it's wrong.
GAIGE: This is when Maya proved her Siren...ness? Sirenicity? This is when she used her powers for the first time. She kinda locked him in an alternate dimension for a second—I'm not sure how that works, it clearly isn't like any sort of technology I've ever seen, but I'll figure it out eventually—she phaselocked him, which gave us a second to deal with his crew without him dropping a fire nova on us every three seconds. And that's when Axton's jaw hit the floor, and I almost stumbled into the fire thingy, and Salvador pulled me back.
SALVADOR: De nada.
GAIGE: ...yeah. So, Flynt is dead, Maya has a bitchin' new fire pistol, and we're on a boat with Claptrap for fifteen hours.
CLAPTRAP: Minion! What's that you got there?
GAIGE: Uh, I gotta go. Gaige out.