Author: HatefulRodeo

Story: Secret Smile

Notes: This chapter will be in Kanda's POV. Sorry there will be no interaction between them this chapter, needed to work out a few things to make way for the slash in the next chapter; Sorry! I know this is a random and odd pairing but I like them together for some reason. Enjoy Lovelies!

Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray-Man! I will make no money from this fanfic! Meh So Sad!

Previously:

Sometimes he wondered if he should just try to get over the impatient, foul-mouthed man, but then he would see Kanda and all the feelings would come rushing back to him. No, Komui was doomed to unrequited love and sexual frustration.

Sitting down heavily and pulling one of the many reports in front of him, Komui tried to focus on the report on the recent mission Lavi and Allen had returned from, and the innocence they'd successfully recovered.

Within five minutes Komui sleeping deeply, mumbling nonsense, on the top of his desk.

~~~~~~~~**********Chapter 2*********~~~~~~~~

Kanda Yuu was feeling confused and off balance; like the whole fucking world had just been turned upside down and shaken. Komui loved him?! His insane, coffee chugging boss loved him? It was unbelievable to the nineteen year old exorcist.

Kanda suddenly wished he had never woken up when he felt something pressing on his forehead. If he had not woken he wouldn't have heard Komui's confession, and his life would still be peaceful; well as peaceful as an exorcist's life ever was.

Glaring murderously at the hospital's white ceiling the emotionally stunted man realized something a bit disturbing; he was angry about feeling confused, and off balance by the way Komui's words made him feel.

Many at the Black Order could tell you that Kanda was not an emotionally in touch man. No, Kanda had a few common emotions; indifference, calm, scorn, irritation, anger and rage to name the most usually felt by the easily irritated swordsman.

Feeling love or affection toward or for another human being was about as foreign a concept to Kanda as him cutting his hair. It was insane, and up until about twenty minutes ago he would have said it was never going to happen. However, the Japanese swordsman couldn't deny that Komui's words did make his chest feel warm.

Kanda thought it might be heartburn, or some other equally annoying ailment. Then realized he was trying to deny what he was feeling, and he was not a coward! No, he would face this just like he did everything that crossed him; head on with no fear before he either let it live or destroyed it preferably by slicing it to little pieces with Mugen.

So Komui loved him, Kanda was still unsure how that was possible. Kanda had never been particularly nice or hell even civil towards his Chief. But then again he hadn't been as cold as he could be, so maybe it was a sign that for some reason Kanda didn't want to hurt the Chinese man's feelings.

It was possible Kanda did not do sweet and fluffy. Nope, you could guess where you stood in Kanda's life by his actions. So apparently if he looked at his own actions he tolerated and maybe even could grudgingly admit that he liked Komui.

Now that he had identified what he felt for Komui, he could move on to why it was that Komui was confessing to him when he thought he was unconscious, and unable to hear or respond to him.

Kanda felt the answer hit him with the force of a slap to the face. Of course Komui would never confess to Kanda when he was awake. The older man was probably terrified that Kanda would react badly or not react at all. Nodding, Kanda could understand Komui's reluctance to tell him his feelings.

Feeling frustrated the Japanese man shifted, stood up, and began pacing in his little screened in cubicle. Should he confront Komui about what he said? No, Kanda didn't know what he wanted to do about Komui's feeling of love for him. Did he return them? Did he want a relationship with the older Chinese man? Was he even gay?

Too many questions had Kanda pinching the bridge of his nose, and breathing deeply, trying to re-center his thoughts. One questions at a time. Kanda started with the easiest to answer; was he gay?

Kanda had never really given his sexual orientation a thought; he was made to kill Akuma for the Black Order not fall in love, and have sex. Thinking back on every interaction he has had over the years with both males and females Kanda came to his conclusion.

It seemed he was attracted to both men and women; it was more of the look they had about them. Kanda seemed to prefer dark hair, light skin tone, and dark eyes; all of which seemed to work in Komui's favor.

With one issue down Kanda moved onto the next one; did he return Komui's feelings? Well he didn't not return them. The problem was Kanda was not familiar with warm fuzzy emotions so he wasn't exactly sure how to proceed in this.

He knew he didn't hate Komui or mind being around him when he wasn't screeching over Lanalee, or unleashing a new and improved Sir Tomlin on them. But then again Kanda always did love destroying the destructive robot so he appreciated Komui for giving him a reason to dismantle something with Mugen.

In all Kanda could say he liked Komui, but he wasn't sure how at the moment. Were his feelings toward Komui like those you have for a friend or those you have for a lover? The Japanese man didn't know the answer having never really felt either of those feelings.

Fuck! He was so screwed! Breathing deeply once again Kanda made his decision; he would roll with it. See what happened when he saw Komui or spoke to him. That was the best he could do at the moment. It would be a sort of experiment in emotions for the Japanese man.

Kanda moved onto the last and most important question to him; did Kanda want a relationship with Komui? He knew that just because you have feelings for someone didn't mean you had a relationship with them.

And being with Komui wasn't going to be easy. They worked for the Black Order, an Order that tended to look down harshly on relationships between exorcists. The bosses at Central would flip a fucking lid if they found out about a relationship between one of their Chiefs and an exorcist, no matter how high ranked the exorcist was.

Kanda stopped; when the hell had he given a damn about Central and what they thought? Che, Never. Kanda knew Komui wasn't a fan of their overseers either. Kanda wasn't too worried about Komui backing out due to the possibility that they would be breaking protocol, and could be punished.

Kami-Sama this was hard! Even if Kanda wanted to begin a tentative relationship with Komui did he want people to know? Well that was easy they couldn't know due to the chance that Central found out.

Strangely keeping this possible relationship a secret didn't bother Kanda in the least. He had always been a private person. He despised nosy people who didn't know how to mind their own damn business.

Kanda stopped pacing, and sat back down on his bed; so it seemed he made his decision. He would watch how he felt and reacted when interacting with his Chief Officer. If his reactions and feelings were favorable Kanda would move forward and confront Komui about his confession of love made to Kanda in his hospital room.

Kanda felt better, calmer than he had been when Komui left him. He now had a solid plan and course of action to move forward with. This was just like any other training mission; identify, observe, plan, execute. That the exercise was an emotional one was irrelevant and disregarded by Kanda.

Lying back down in his bed Kanda closed his eyes, and willed himself to go back to sleep. His body still wasn't one hundred percent healed and all the pacing hadn't helped the still healing gash in his thigh.

Kanda's last thoughts were that someone loved him, someone cared for him, and that unfamiliar warmth returned to the cold man's chest, bringing a small secret smile onto his plump rosy lips.

Remember this is AU and they are both OOC. I hope you all enjoyed it and slash will occur in the next and final chapter.

All Mistakes Are My Own!