One month later: March 14th, 2014
"I don't believe you, Rachel Berry! You are a good actress but you are not that good. Tell me where Quinn is now!"
"I'm sorry, Santana. I honestly have no clue where she is or why she won't return any of your texts, calls, or e-mails. She isn't returning mine either. I just got that text from her the day after the wedding."
"Wait. What text?"
Rachel unlocks her iPhone and shoes it to Santana:
Hey Rach. Hope you had a wonderful night with Finn. I had an amazing one with Santana. Please take care of her for me. She acts all tough and hard but I know she really does care about you. Promise me, okay? Last night made me realize that I love her. Maybe I'm even in love with Santana. She will need you now, more than ever. Bye, Rach. Go and be the bright, shiny, gold star you are. Xx -Q
"You knew that we slept together and didn't say anything? And you slept with Finn? How did I not know that sooner?"
"I knew that you would tell me when you felt comfortable enough or frustrated. Quinn told me in confidence. I wasn't going to betray her trust. Finn and I were down the hall from you two. I thought I saw you go into a room together and Quinn confirmed it. I didn't tell you because… well, I don't know why. Maybe because I thought you would make fun of me."
"Rachel, haven't I proven to you what a good friend I am. Have a little faith in me. Plus, I pick Finn over Brody. Finn still loves you. And apparently, Quinn loves me."
"Do you love her Santana?"
"I never knew how much I loved her until that night. It was magical. The whole night she was flirting with me. Of course, I flirted right back. When we were dancing while you and Finn sang, my heart was beating so fast. It felt right to be in her arms. She was the one who suggested we go upstairs. She made the first move. Rachel, it wasn't just sex for me. It meant something; she means something to me. And she has dropped off the face of the earth."
"Have you tried calling Judy or Shelby? One of them must know where Quinn is. Is she even still at Yale?"
"Well, if she still is, she is doing a bang up job of hiding. I even called her roommate, Melissa. She told me that Quinn moved out of their room as soon as she got back from the wedding. No explanation."
"What is Quinn up to?"
"Well, I'm about to find out."
The phone rang three times before Judy answered.
"Hello?"
"Hi Mrs. Fabray. This is Santana Lopez. I was hoping that you could tell me where Quinn is. I've been trying to get a hold of her."
Judy's heart broke hearing Santana's voice.
"I'm sorry my dear but I cannot tell you that. Quinn asked me not to. She told me to tell you that she loves you."
"So, you do you know where she is! Wait. You know about us?"
"Yes, my dear. She spilled the beans the morning after. I have never seen my daughter so happy."
"Quinn was happy. Why wouldn't you want her to stay happy?"
"Santana, if Quinn wanted you to know where she is, she would have told you herself. Now, I have to go. Just know that she loves you very much. I can tell that you love my Quinnie too. Take care, Santana."
"So…."
"Quinn told Judy about us and she wasn't mad or freaking out about it. She said Quinn told her to tell me that she loves me. She knows where she is. She refuses to tell me."
"Call Shelby. She wouldn't abandon Beth."
An out-of-breath Shelby answered the phone.
"Hi Shel-"
"Can you hold a second? Beth! Don't draw on the walls! Hello?"
"Hi Shelby. It's Santana. Do you know where Quinn is?"
"I was expecting your call. I'm sorry Santana but I cannot help you."
"But you do know where she is."
"I do for right now. It will be changing shortly, then I don't know where she will be."
"So, you do talk to her, then?"
"Yes, she calls Beth every Sunday afternoon."
"Can you tell her something for me, please?"
"Ok, what is it?"
"Just tell her I love her too."
"I have to go Santana. Beth is drawing her latest masterpiece on the living room wall. Bye."
Shelby hung up before Santana could say anything.
"Well, at least you told her to tell Quinn how you felt."
"Your little sister is drawing on the living room wall."
"A little artist. She is quite good, for a 3 year-old."
Santana sauntered over to Rachel, who opened her arms to hug her. She walks into her arms. After a moment she asks her:
"Can I show you something, Rach?"
"Sure. What is it?"
Santana pulls a folded up note from the back pocket of her jeans and hands her Quinn's letter. Rachel holds it in her hands as Santana recites the words by heart. By then end of it, Santana is crying.
"What am I going to do?"
"You know what? You are going to write Quinn a letter and mail it to Judy. Then, it will be on her to give it to Quinn. It sounded like she supported the two of you. Hopefully, she will do the right thing and pass it along to Quinn."
"Rachel, that's brilliant. Thanks for this."
"After what you did for me with the whole Brody fiasco, consider it a proper "Thank You."
Santana scurries off to her room to write her letter to Quinn.
March 14th, 2014
Dear Quinn,
I'm just going to say it. I love you. I love you and I hate you.
I love you for the way your eyes look at me like I am the most important person in your world. I love you in spite of you slapping me at Thanksgiving. I love you even though you infuriate me at times. I love you when I kiss you. You are the best damn kisser, even better than me. I love you for being brave and making the hardest decision of your life: giving up Beth. I love how you can be so smart one minute and a complete goofball the next. I love you for making me want to be a person who believes in their dreams. I love you for pushing me to be the best version of myself. I love you for all your faults and all your perfection. I love you, Lucy Quinn Fabray. Don't you ever doubt it.
I hate you for leaving me all alone after the best night of my life. It hurt so fucking much to wake up without you by my side. I hate that you left me a note instead of waking me up and telling me how you felt. I hate you for making me feel all these things for you and not giving me the chance to say them in person. I hate you for telling your Mom to tell me that you love me. I want to hear you say it. Don't you want to hear me say it to you?
Where are you Quinn? Why did you go radio silent? Are you in trouble? Please let me know you are okay. I'm so worried about you. At first, I thought this was a game you were playing. You didn't tell Rachel where you are! By the way, thanks for telling her about us and your mom too, for that matter.
Quinn, I love you. I miss you. I just want to hold you. I want to kiss you until your lips are bruised. I want to touch your perfect albaster skin and look in your hazel eyes. I want to make love to you. I want to be inside you and watch you as you come tumbling down. I want to slap you when you are being a bitch. i want to cuddle with you as we watch some lame foreign film you want to see. I want to grow up and grow old with you. I want to be here for you. Please let me.
All my love,
Santana
One week later: March 21st 2014
"Mom, what do you mean Santana wrote me a letter?"
It was Sunday. After Quinn talked to Beth, she would call her mother. She had just informed her daughter that she received a post on Saturday from Santana.
"Quinn, I am holding it in my hands. She wrote a note to me, begging that I forward it onto you. You have to read her letter, darling. You got to say good-bye. Let her say what she wants to say."
"Okay, mom. Mail it to Professor Daley. Mail any pertinent letters to her. She will make she I get it."
"Excellent decision, Quinnie. Things going good?"
"Yes, mom. It's all very exciting and challenging. I have to go. Love you, mom."
"I'll mail it first thing in the morning. Bye, sweetheart."
Five days later: March 26th 2014
Quinn is sitting in Professor Daley's office. It is her monthly meeting with her faculty advisor. At the end of the meeting she hands Quinn an envelope.
"How smart of you to have your mother send your mail to me. It things like that make me know you are going to be a superb officer, Quinn. See you next month!"
Quinn stuffs the envelope in her messenger bags and sprints home. With shaky hands, she recovers the envelope from the bottome of her bag. Taking a deep breath, she slides her finger underneath the flap to open it. There is a post-it note on another envelope:
Quinn- I hope that you find comfort in whatever Santana has written here. She sounded so heartbroken, darling. I know she loves you too. She told me so, over and over again. I understand why it has to be this way but she doesn't. Talk to you on Sunday. Love, Mom
She peels off the post-it note and sees her name written across the front in Santana's characteristic scrawl. She had beautiful penmanship for being a leftie. Quinn closed her eyes and took a cleansing breath in and out. Once again, she slid her finger underneath the flap, pulling out the letter. Immediately, she noted the date. One month since that night. As she read the words, the tears fell freely from her face. She now knew that that night meant something to Santana too. "She loves me," is all Quinn could think about, as she re-read the letter over and over again. Her mom said Santana was heartbroken. Quinn could feel an profound ache in her chest as she slumped to the ground. Her heart was breaking too. How could loving someone so much feel so painful? Quinn sat on the floor and wept, wishing Santana could be with her right now to hold her. She knew that her love for Santana ran deep. She was in love. No doubt about it and there was nothing she could do about it. Perhaps, that was the most painful thing of all.