Ripley went straight to the tiny kitchen where she had thrown away her partially eaten doughnut into the wastebasket, when Spin was not looking. She picked up the doughnut with repulsion, holding it away from her as if it were a dirty diaper. The bitten pastry dripped dark blackberry goop as Ripley carried it away.
She walked right back towards the room where the Erutrotians were tickle torturing her friends. She had an idea.
Meow.
Ripley heard a faint mewing. She stopped dead in her tracks, distracted by the sight of a little cat's face peeping out from behind a crate.
"Hey, Jonesy," Ripley said, smiling as she spoke to the cat. "Hey, kitty kitty…what are you doing over here, huh? You trying to get away from all that noise?" She was referring to the laughter and shrieks of her crew.
"Meow," Jonesy replied.
Ripley scooped up Jonesy and snuggled him for a moment. The cat stared at the jelly doughnut in Ripley's hand, but she held it away from his stretching paw.
"Nah, you don't want this slop," Ripley said, resting her cheek against Jonesy's soft head. "Be a good cat, okay? I have to do something."
And with that, Ripley released Jonesy onto the floor and resumed her mission to defeat the aliens.
By the time Ripley returned to the alien room, the laughter had died down and then stopped completely. She entered the room with caution and observed the scene.
The victims had all fainted from the horrible tickling they had suffered. Dallas, Kane, Brent, and Lambert had all passed out. They were scattered around the floor, flushed and soaked with sweat. Tear-stained faces and puffy red eyes on everyone. An unpleasant odor in the air proved that they had all wet their pants.
The Erutrotians were sitting by their victims, making pleasant conversation with each other as they waited patiently for the crew to wake up. Ripley wanted so badly to beat them all up with her bare hands.
Then Parker, who had suffered nothing more than a blow to the head, started groaning and moving around. He sat upright, rubbing his forehead and squinting until he could see clearly. That's when he figured out what had happened.
"HEY!"
"Parker, shut it," Ripley snapped. "Let me handle this."
Ripley raised the doughnut to her mouth and chomped into the sugary sweetness. She did her best not to shudder.
"Mmmmm...Yum...best thing I ever tasted...this tasty doughnut...baked by our good friend Spin!" Ripley yelled out, pretending to enjoy the gooey treat that she actually loathed. She took huge bites and let the blackberry jelly roll down her chin.
"Why, Miss Ripley, I did not realize you were so fond of my lovely doughnuts," Spin said cheerily, completely buying her act.
"I sure wish I could bake this good," Ripley sighed wistfully.
"Did you say 'baking'?" they asked.
This topic greatly piqued their interest...exactly what Ripley was hoping for.
Baking.
That was one of Spin's other "hobbies" that Ripley recalled from earlier when he rattled off his list. If she could get Spin's tribe interested in something other than tickling, then she could save the ship.
"Baking, yes!" Ripley exclaimed, "Did I mention how much I love baking? I would love to bake some more of these scrumptious doughnuts! Who wants to help me?"
"It would be a privilege to assist you, Miss Ripley," Spin said cheerily.
His people were equally as enthusiastic...
"What an absolute joy that would be!"
"We will have a simply marvelous time in the kitchen with you, Madam!"
"Baked goods are our specialty!"
"And most certainly one of our favorite activities!"
Now it was Ripley's turn to give an eerie little smile as the Erutrotians followed her to the kitchen like rats for the Pied Piper.
For the next hour, dozens of the green baking-experts took turns in the small kitchen area. They produced hundreds of perfect doughnuts from minimal ingredients, and with startling ease.
Ripley's scheme was to use baking as a distraction from the tickling. Since tickling was the one thing that made them go wild, what they needed was to get interested in a different activity. Ripley figured if they returned to their pish posh politeness, she could get them off Nostromo.
The aliens baked doughnuts to their green heart's content. They even shared their secret recipe with Ripley and taught her how to prepare a proper pastry. Ripley went along with everything in the most cheerful and positive attitude she could muster.
"Thanks for everything, Mr. Spin," she said, when the kitchen fun came to a close. "My crew and I are really glad you could visit our humble Nostromo, but it's getting late. So...would you mind leaving now?" If you are visited by a Erutrotian and wish him to leave, he will do so, Ripley remembered that sentence.
"It has been an endless joy this time spent with you, my splendid rescuers. I was just tickled to be here," Spin told Ripley, wrapping his small hands briefly around her hand. "My people and I will leave now, as you wish. We bid you farewell and a safe journey home."
"Thanks, you too."
Spin smiled at his tribe and beckoned for them to come. "We must be leaving now…our home Erutrot-Elkcit is waiting for us."
Then the green-skinned humanoids known as Erutrotians took off through the blackness of outer space in their sleek golden ships. The shiny vessels glided away in streaks of silver glow until they finally disappeared in the distance.
Ripley raced back to check on her crew mates. They would be fine, just exhausted and maybe a little embarrassed…but they would live. A slight smile of satisfaction came to her face. She actually outsmarted the aliens and saved the day. No more aliens aboard the Nostromo now and that's just how she liked it. Their troubles were over.
Or so she hoped.
The End