Simon I remember it like it was yesterday...One minute I was singing next to Maurice, and Jack singing and just all around happy while listening to Jack's C# and the next I am living a nightmare where there is no light, only darkness and despair…and now here I am, torn between Ralph, the only calm and composed one in all of this, excluding piggy no one really listens to him, and Jack the person who has always been with me, the one who always is there when I have one of my fainting spells, or when I need a shoulder to cry on…I don't know who to choose, so in the end I go off on my own and do my own thing…I'm used to being alone though, I would rather be alone, because then you don't have to care about others, you only have to care about yourself, but even if I'm used to it, doesn't mean I enjoy being alone, it can be boring, and even maddening, then why am I always alone? Is it because I am just a burden to others? Or is it something deeper than that. Am I not normal enough, am I not healthy enough, strong enough, handsome enough…WHAT IS IT!? If only someone would talk to me again, tell me it's all going to be okay, that someone will sit down with me and ask me how I am doing, and not leave me in the pit of loneliness and despair. But I am in the pit, I am surrounded by nothing but darkness, where no light reaches, I am beyond saving now, just like everyone else on this goddamn island! Do you know what darkness is? Do you know what true pain is? I do, I have felt it, I have lived it every day of my life, and now I am surrounded by the very darkness I loathe the most, at first all I hear is "Kill the beast, cut his throat..." Then the maddening screams as they ran towards me and all i could do was stand there completely startled and before I knew it, I was on the ground and that's when the pain started, all I felt was multiple spears digging into the soft skin of my body and I screamed for them to stop that it was me, but they either didn't hear me, or didn't care…and my worst fears were realized when I saw the very face of the man I had looked up to stabbing me along with the others, why must I be the sacrificial lamb in all this? Why must I get brutally murdered and have to live while sharp sticks are repeatedly stabbed into me, as the warm blood rushed out of me, and as the horrible darkness began to envelope me in her painful embrace. I don't want to die…I don't want to die…I DON'T WANT TO DIE!