DISCLAIMER: I neither own Glee nor the characters. They are the property of Ryan Murphy and FOX. This is purely for fun. Enjoy!
Chapter Two: Building A Mystery
Rachel was shivering while she sat in the police station, giving her report on the attack that occurred in the alleyway and trying in vain to calm herself down. She wasn't sure if she was shivering because she was cold or because she was still traumatized from the events of that evening, but did it even matter? The police officers were all standing around her, looking at her like with various shades of disbelief as she told her tale.
"So you said there was a man who saved you from the attacker," one of the officer's said, reading her statement with severe doubt in his tone. "You saw the man get stabbed, but he just walked away without a scratch before we arrived at the scene."
"Yes," she said, knowing deep down that no one here would believe her. Rachel barely even believed it herself, but since she'd seen it with her own two eyes, she knew it to be the truth. "I know it sounds crazy, but I remember seeing the blood on his clothes."
"What did he look like? Have you ever seen him before?"
Rachel hesitated before answering, not knowing what to say to the officer. Should she give them all the details, so they could locate the stranger and commend him for his good deed? Or would they open a file on him and try to track him down as a criminal? For some reason, she felt oddly protective of the man, and a small, but selfish part of her wanted to keep him a secret. Her secret.
"It was really dark, so I can't be sure," she lied fluidly, letting her superior acting skills cover her mis-truths. The image of his handsome face would forever be burned into her brain, but the police didn't have to know that. Her savior had done nothing wrong.
Besides flipping her entire world upside down.
"He was tall," she continued, trying to supply them with only the most basic of information. "Definitely taller than six feet."
"What about his build? Any details about his face?"
"Um, he was thin, but kind of muscular. And, like I said, it was really dark so I couldn't see his face." There, that should placate them. The officers looked like they wanted to ask her more questions, but even if they did, she wasn't going to answer them. The man from the alleyway wasn't a suspect, he was a hero. If it weren't for him, well. . . She didn't even want to think about what could have happened to her.
"Well, we have your attacker under arrest and we'll be pressing charges against him. Thank you for your testimony and someone will see you home, Miss Berry."
"Thank you," she replied graciously, and allowed the policeman to walk her out to his car. She rode in the back, staying completely silent, replaying the events from that day over and over until she had dissected every single moment.
And yet nothing about the events of that evening made any sense to her.
She sighed, completely exhausted and stressed out while she entered her dorm building. Her roommate wasn't there and for that she was grateful; Rachel wanted nothing else but to be alone and have some time to clear her head before she got some sleep.
Unfortunately for her, the memories of that night assaulted her as soon as she closed her eyes. First she saw him at the subway platform, staring at her like she was the cause to all of his problems when she didn't even know who he was. Then she heard his voice calling her name; how he knew it she still didn't know, but she was determined to find out some kind of reasoning behind this sudden and strange presence in her life. It wasn't until she thought about his handsome face and the gentle kiss he'd placed on her forehead that she realized how fast her heart was pounding, trying to cancel out the loud alarm bells clanging in her head.
What was she even thinking? There was no way that she harbored feelings for the strange man who had seemingly popped out of the shadows and thrust himself into her life. Sure, he was attractive, probably the most handsome man she'd ever seen, but he was nothing more than a stranger to her, and for all she knew he could be the dangerous type of stranger. Rachel didn't even know his name, but she definitely knew he was carrying secrets.
Secrets he didn't want her to know about.
Rachel was restless throughout the night. Sleep did not come easily to her and she tossed and turned, struggling against the images that filled her head while she slept. When she did finally get some rest it was interrupted by nightmares, filled with shadows and questions she screamed into the dark.
The darkness didn't answer her.
But she refused to give up.
He burst into the small studio apartment he was renting with a heaving sigh, rubbing his hands over his face in misery while he sunk into the sofa that converted into his bed. Heart pounding, he rubbed his gritty eyes against the images that flashed before it, remembering the look of panic in the girl's eyes while she was held captive in that man's grip. It was enough to send his already spiking anxiety through the roof, and he stood up from the couch to head to the bathroom, where he retched into the open toilet bowl with a roiling stomach.
He rose a few minutes later, feeling tired and drained and somewhat sore in his right side. It wasn't exactly what he would call pain, but it was enough of a sensation to register that something had happened to him. He lifted up the hem of the shirt and saw the dried blood crusted on the surface of his skin, his flesh baby pink and numb to the touch. Looking up at his reflection in the mirror, he frowned at the shell of the man looking back at him. His eyes looked sunken and hollow, his frown pronounced and etched deeply into the contours of his face. Before tonight he couldn't even remember the last time he'd smiled. The last time he'd used his real name in conversation. Would he have the chance to use it with her? With Rachel?
His reflection stared back at him, ragged and run down, almost as if he'd forgotten what his name even was. He licked his lips, speaking to the mirror and forcing himself to remember that he was, in fact, human, no matter how abnormal he felt on a daily basis.
"Finn," he said slowly, tasting the familiarity of it. "My name is Finn."
God, when was the last time anyone had called him that? He'd had to move so often over the years that it was self-preservation to keep changing his name, his identity, so no one could catch up to him. Staying off the grid at all times was the only way to be safe when he didn't have a life to call his own.
"Well, Finn, you sure fucked it up this time," he said to his reflection angrily, filling up the silence of the apartment with his own self-loathing. "Now she'll never be able to trust you. First the questions will come, then the disbelief, and of course the fear. Then you'll be alone all over again with no one but yourself and your lack of restraint to blame."
But I had to protect her, Finn told himself, closing his eyes and remembering the promise he'd made. I kept my promise and did what was right. If I ruined this chance with her, then at least it would be worth it.
Another sigh slipped past his lips as he returned to the living area and converted the sofa into a bed. Collapsing onto the mattress, he reached out and touched the empty side of his bed, remembering what it felt like to have her close to him. To feel her heart beating in tandem with his. To know their love was eternal.
"One day, Rachel," he whispered to the empty side of his bed. "One day we'll be together again," his throat got clogged with emotion before he shut off the lights and blinked against the tears welling in his eyes.
"But how much longer will I have to wait?"
Rachel woke up the next morning from her tumultuous sleep with the uneasy feeling that something was wrong. She couldn't tell what it was right away; it was a heavy feeling that sat upon her heart, almost like she had forgotten something important. Before she left for class that morning she checked her bag three times, making sure that everything was in its proper place. It seemed normal, but the second she exited her building the feeling became more and more pronounced until she was practically shaking with anxiety. What could she have forgotten? Did she have a test in Theatre History today? Was it her father's birthday or something?
Ugh, it was driving her crazy! What could it be?
Whatever it was, the nagging feeling of forgetfulness would not dissipate as she found herself on the same subway platform as the morning before. Suddenly alert, she scanned around her in a desperate search for the man from the night before. She wanted so badly to see him again, to ask him the questions that had plagued her since the moment she laid eyes on him.
But he was nowhere in sight. There wasn't a trace of him anywhere around her, and she didn't experience that disconcerting feeling of being watched-Only the annoying hum of forgetfulness that followed her all the way to school. The subways were crowded on a Wednesday morning, and she looked across the aisle of the car to see a young couple in the throes of love, cuddling next to one another as the train flew through each station. They were grinning at one another, with a brightness in their eyes that could not be denied, and Rachel felt the sudden sting of jealousy as she lamented her own dreadfully single life. If only she had someone who cherished her the way she dreamed of; to experience the kind of true love that only existed in fantasies.
All of a sudden, a certain kind of dizziness washed over her, leaving her feeling distracted and tired. Her vision went blurry for a moment and she blinked rapidly, hoping to return her eyesight to normal. When she opened her eyes once more she found herself floating in a dream, looking at something that couldn't possibly be real.
It was like looking through the lens of time, as if a history book came alive right in front of her eyes. The subway car that surrounded her became a street trolley, the advertisements morphing into pictures from the past as the outfits reflected an era long forgotten. The loving couple sitting across from her, the one that had inspired so much envy in her heart, shifted into something different, yet strangely familiar to Rachel as it hypnotized her into silence.
An eerie sense of déjà vu crept into her bones as the girl faced her once more, her features shifting into an identical copy of Rachel's own face as a giant cream-colored dress billowed around her tiny frame. The trolley car suddenly lurched and Rachel's copy stumbled into the tall, broad frame of a man. A man who held her steady and stared down at her with nothing but love and devotion in his eyes.
A man who looked more than a little familiar to her.
"Watch your step, my love," the man, her savior, said sweetly, his voice echoing in her memory as she stared at his defining features. This seemed like a dream to her, but the details were so real, so concrete. It felt more like a memory than a figment of her imagination as she absorbed every detail.
"I'm not worried," her clone said sweetly, leaning into his embrace. "I know you won't let me fall."
"Never," he promised, smiling in a way that made her heart leap with joy. As quick as it began, Rachel watched the scene in front of her dissolve back into the gritty gray reality that she was used to, and for a moment, she didn't want it to end. The image of the two lovers together were burned into Rachel's brain, the tenderness she'd witnessed seared right into her heart. Now more than ever, she felt like she was forgetting something important as the bright fluorescent lights of the train blinded her and snapped her back to the real world.
But what was happening to her? What was the meaning of that vision she'd just experienced on the train? Was it a dream or just her over-active imagination? Who were those people? And why did they look like archaic versions of herself and that man. . .
That man whose name still eluded her.
For a moment it was like she could taste his name on her tongue, hanging there and waiting to be spoken out loud. The mystery of it all was killing her, and as the train pulled into her station, she walked off the car and immediately stopped in her tracks, feeling like she'd just been slapped in the face as the other commuters pushed and maneuvered around her.
"Finn," she spoke the name out loud, feeling it crawl out of her memory like an ancient fact that had been long-buried there. A strange sensation flowed through her body like electricity, both shocking and re-energizing her in ways she'd never thought possible. Rachel had no idea where the name came from or why she'd said it, but even after she spoke it aloud, something inside of her was screaming for victory. Finally, the sense of forgetfulness was gone, only to be replaced with an overwhelming sense of confusion.
For how could she forget something that she'd never known in the first place?
Finn paced the streets surrounding NYADA, waiting for a glimpse of Rachel to ease his troubled mind as he kept both his distance and his promise at the same time. Ever since the attack last night he'd been extra careful in his attempts to stay hidden from her. If he scared her off now then he would never get a chance to know her, and the thought of having to wait for another opportunity to be with her again filled him with the deepest kind of dread he knew.
He couldn't mess this up. Things between them needed to be natural. Smooth. If it got too complicated and she started asking questions then he would have to give up and resign himself to another lifetime of loneliness. He'd already waited long enough.
Like always, his heart sped up the second he saw her, watching the bright city lights reflect off of her creamy olive skin. She was glancing around her in a suspicious manner, hopefully taking more caution after her traumatic experience from the night before. Rachel entered the subway station and Finn followed a few moments later, hopping onto one of the back cars to avoid being seen. It was the same routine day after day; making sure that no harm followed her while he remained hidden from view, blending into the background like a shadow. It was a lonely way to live, but it was his fate, and he was more than used to it by now.
He was a good fifteen feet behind her when she made the wrong turn, heading towards the park instead of her apartment building. Frowning at her change in direction, he followed her, watching as she sat down on a park bench and held her bag in her arms, seemingly waiting for something. Her fingers tapped the bench nervously, her head swiveling in all directions, and he stood behind a nearby tree, waiting to see what would happen. What was she doing here? Was she waiting for someone?
Her behavior was odd, but he did his duty and stood in the cold February night, waiting to see what would happen. Before long her teeth started to chatter from the cold, and he could see her shivering from his hiding spot in the trees. After a half an hour of sitting outside staring at nothing, he finally realized what she was doing.
She was waiting for him.
The realization was like a punch in the gut, so swift and sudden it left him feeling breathless. This had never happened to him before; normally he was the one waiting around for the perfect moment to introduce himself to her, but now she was the one opening herself up to meet him.
He was so stunned he didn't know how to proceed. Should he just waltz up to her and try to strike up a conversation? Should he ignore her so she didn't get her hopes up? When a violent sneeze erupted from her petite frame his conscience went wild, and he knew he couldn't stand by while she sat outside and froze to death because of him.
Taking a deep breath, he walked out of his hiding spot and into the streetlights, illuminating the area in an eerie glow. He could tell the moment she spotted him, her face erupting in a grin so wide he couldn't help but smile himself. She'd always had that power over him; no matter how depressed and desolate he was she could change his entire attitude with a single look.
And right now that look was piercing right through him and drawing him towards her.
"You're here," she said, once he stepped up to the bench where she sat. He nodded once before she continued. "I didn't think you'd come."
"Were you planning on freezing to death out here?" He asked with an eyebrow raised.
She shook her head. "I had a feeling you wouldn't let that happen." She said it with such conviction it left him feeling floored. If only she knew how right she was. "And I was totally right."
Finn nodded, and for a moment it felt like time was standing still, the way he'd always wanted it to. She looked up at him like he was a mirage, ready to disappear at any moment, and he had to savor every second he had with her while he still could. He knew better than anyone how fleeting time could be, and it was never on his side.
"Have we met before?" She asked then, and despite the simplicity of the question he didn't quite know how to answer her. He couldn't tell her the truth, but lying to her just felt wrong.
"We met yesterday," he said simply.
"Then how come you knew my name yesterday?" Her counter-argument was swift and concise. "And why does it feel like I know you?"
Because you do know me, he said to himself. And I know you. I know everything about you. If only you could just remember it all, but you never do. . .
"I'm a friend of the family," he replied, hating himself for deceiving her.
"I don't believe you," she countered, and he admired how fiery she still was after so much time had passed. "But I don't think you're some creepy stalker either, so you better start explaining yourself, Finn!"
For a moment it felt like the earth had been rocked from it's center. Like all the air had been sucked out of the sky. Finn stared down at her, the girl who had kept him tethered to this life for so long he could no longer remember his age, and forced himself to inhale so he could have the breath to speak.
"What did you just call me?"
She looked sheepish before answering. "Well, I called you Finn. That is your name, isn't it?"
"Well," he said, completely overwhelmed. This had never happened to him before and he wasn't used to being caught off-guard. "Yeah, it is, but how did you know that?"
"Nuh-uh!," she shook her head with her arms crossed, denying him his answer. "Until you tell me how you knew my name yesterday I'm not sharing any information with you. It's already weird enough without all the secrets, and I think I've been pretty patient with you up to this point." She peeked up at him again, this time with hesitance in her gaze. "But it is Finn, right?"
"Yeah," he breathed, trying to get his heartbeat back to its normal pace. He couldn't even remember the last time he'd heard his name pass her lips. It was like hearing an angel call to him from heaven. "Don't you want to get inside?" He offered, noticing her shiver. He couldn't feel the cold but he could see his breath condense in the air. "It's really cold out."
"You don't seem to mind it," she noticed immediately, and he had to remind himself how smart and intuitive she was. He shrugged his coat off of his shoulders and held it out for her, forgoing all pretenses and living in the moment. Things were going more smoothly than he'd planned and she hadn't run off screaming yet, so he figured it was a good sign.
"I'm used to the cold," he lied once more, passing the coat over to her while she used it as extra warmth. It's not like he needed it anyway. "But you shouldn't risk getting sick."
"It's kind of worth it," she smiled, easing the tension from him and calming him considerably. "Sit down," she pat the seat next to him and he nodded, sitting next to her on the park bench. The night was dark around them, and normally he would have feared her safety in such an exposed space, but for a moment he let his guard down to relax and enjoy himself. The peace that settled into him was blissful and familiar as they enjoyed each other's company in silence.
"So you're not going to tell me anything I want to know, are you?" She asked, her voice filled with disappointment as it cut through the silence. He frowned deeply as he shook his head.
"Sorry. I can't."
"Are you stalking me or something?" She didn't sound scared, but curious.
"No. I'm not going to hurt you."
"Do you have some kind of grudge against me? Did I offend you somehow?"
"No," he laughed. As if she could ever offend him!
"Did my dads hire you to, like, look after me?"
"No." He wasn't some private detective/babysitter, he was part of her destiny, dammit!
"Are you going to tell me how you survived that stabbing from yesterday?"
"You wouldn't believe me, even if I tried."
She sighed, rubbing her temples with her fingertips and closing her eyes. "This is so weird. Too weird." He let his eyes close in misery, instinctively knowing that he had messed things up beyond repair. Now she was never going to trust him, and all of his waiting and planning and preparing would be in vain.
"It doesn't have to be. I can leave you alone if you want. It will be like you never met me and I won't bother you anymore. We can forget this ever happened." His voice hitched a bit on the last word. As if he could ever forget her. . .
"No!" She reacted suddenly, scaring him with her intensity. She placed a hand on his bare arm, exposed to the cold, and for the first time in eons he felt the tingle of warmth under her feather-light touch. "Please, I didn't mean that, I just meant. . ." she trailed off, and he noticed a single tear collect in the corner of her eye. "I don't understand what's going on, but I know you can answer my questions. Something is telling me to trust you, and I don't know how I know these things, but I do. I want to trust you, Finn." Her smile was warm and familiar, and it took every ounce of his power to restrain himself from kissing those petal-soft lips that he knew so well. "But in order for me to do that you need to be here. With me. And not hiding behind the bushes like a creeper."
A warm blush erupted on his face and he looked away from her, ducking his head in embarrassment. "I wasn't trying to be a creeper."
"Then you weren't doing a good job at it," she laughed easily. "Next time, you can come up to me and say hi. To be honest, the train can be a bit lonely, so don't be afraid to ride it with me. It's nice having a friend in the city, and you did save my life. I kind of owe you."
He nodded his head, thrilled that she still wanted to be around him even though she had no idea who he was or what he wanted from her. But if she wanted to be his friend, then he would do that for her. It was the perfect way to become involved in her life.
"Let me walk you home," he said, lifting himself from the bench and reaching out a hand for her to take. When she slipped her dainty palm in his he could feel the warmth of her hands seeping into his skin, and the simple touch made him feel normal for the first time in a long time.
"Will I see you again?" She asked as they walked towards her dorm building. He squeezed her hand softly before letting go.
"Yeah, you will." Finn didn't have to know exactly when it would happen; fate always brought them together in one way or another. "Take care of yourself, Rachel."
"You too, Finn. It was nice to finally meet you." Her smile was small when she returned his jacket before entering the building, and Finn was glad that she'd turned away before she could see the deep grimace on his face. An ache settled into his chest instantly as he watched her walk away, making him feel like his heart had just been stomped on as her words echoed in his head.
It was nice to finally meet you. If only she could remember the other times they had met over the years; it would make his life so much easier.
But she didn't remember, that was the problem. She never remembered. And until she did, he was stuck like this.
Forever.
And Finn knew better than anyone that forever lasted a very long time.
Have you figured it out yet? I had some guesses in the reviews that were right on the nose!
Until next time. . .Don't Stop Reviewin'!