ENTRY 5: VEGETA

I saw Vegeta today. Boy, is he predictable!

But before I get into the details of our little visit, let me tell you my thoughts about him.

When I was a little boy, Master Roshi told me all about queers. He told me that they talk in a certain way and even walk in a certain way. He said they wear weird clothes that call attention to themselves. The biggest giveaway of a queer, he said, was that they make uncomfortable eye contact with you. I didn't really understand at the time. But when I first met Vegeta I knew he was the kind of man Master Roshi was talking about.

Vegeta talks like a faggot. What I mean is that he's whiny, insecure, and needs attention from all of the men around him to feel important. I guess he doesn't have a funny walk per say. But I've definitely seen him click his heels before, which is enough to make me skeptical of which way he swings.

The biggest giveaway that he's a huuuge homo is how he looks at me every time I walk into the room.

He wants to fuck me. Really, really badly. The look in his eye whenever I'm around is downright feral. He also talks about me all of the time to literally everyone around him. Sometimes I imagine I'm a fly on the wall of Bulma and Vegeta's bedroom and I imagine the kind of sex they must have. Does she fuck him with one of those strap-on dicks while he calls out my name? I wouldn't be surprised.

I love all of the attention he just hands over to me. Often times at parties I'll work my way around the room, talking to everyone except for him. Or I'll just eat and wait for everyone to talk to me. It makes him so mad whenever I ignore him! He always makes sure to say at least a few words to me whenever I show up at Capsule Corp, even if it's his usual shit talk. So it was odd the other night when he hid himself away from everyone.

I really did admire the savage way Vegeta used to kill people. His rage was ruthless, but calculated. Years ago he used to fight like his life depended on it. Now? Now he is extraordinary, but soft. He allowed Bulma and Trunks to turn him to jelly. In Bulma's Gravity Chamber he's a fish in a tank. I can't believe he even allows her to look in on his training whenever she feels like it!

A long time ago, I thought he was more like me. I used to believe the only difference between us was that unlike me, he had nothing to gain from keeping all of his anger under control. He never had to put on a mask to make sure his life wouldn't fall apart. His anger was so pure.

Now? Ugh. Now I know his mask was his anger. He feels too much. When he cried so pathetically in front of Frieza moments before his death, the only thing I could do was take pity on him.

Let me tell you another thing that bothers me about Vegeta. It's his face. I fucking hate it!

It's not because I think he's ugly. I guess I can maybe see the troll doll qualities he has and how that might be appealing to someone like Bulma who gets horny just from looking at monsters. But he's just so goddamn emotive, and it creeps me out.

To clarify, it's not that everyone around me doesn't emote all of the time. But they usually gab on and on about their feelings when they do so. When Chi-Chi looks sad she tells me what I need to do to fix it. When Goten smiles up at me after breakfast, he says he wants to train. When Bulma is angry, she screams at me to stop whatever it is I'm doing.

But with Vegeta, he doesn't talk. Instead, he just gets these dumb fucking expressions on his face but stays quiet like we all can't tell what he's feeling. It's just so fucking gay! I hate how he gets that pathetic look on his face whenever he's feeling lonely or sad. And he looks at ME like I'M supposed to fix it. It's like, hey Vegeta, maybe if you weren't such a flaming weirdo who walks around in spandex all of the time, you wouldn't be so fucking sad? Maybe if you didn't let Bulma carry your balls around in her purse, you wouldn't hate yourself so much?!

It confuses me sometimes because on one hand, I'm glad he's so weak he feels like I'm the only person who can fix his problems. Like I said before, I love it when people depend on me. But on the other hand, why can't he fucking pull himself together and just act like a normal man? Why is he such a huge fucking pussy?

Maybe it would fix him if he took a few cocks up his ass. I'm sure the idea isn't foreign to him. Haha, I can see it now, Vegeta bent over while he gets rammed by some dude. That would probably make his day. He really is trash.

But maybe Earth men aren't his type! I guess he'd have to find a guy like me. Poor little Vegeta! There's only one guy like me, so you're just going to have to spend the rest of your awful life on this planet jerking off to thoughts of me or whatever it is you do in the Gravity Room when I'm not around!

Sometimes I want to just end his fucking miserable life so I don't have to look at his stupid sad face anymore. He is worse than the shit you scrape off the bottom of your shoe, and he knows it. Too bad Bulma isn't hot enough to turn him straight. And too bad she's too dumb to see him for what he really is. I can see it now: Vegeta asking me to fuck him. Begging for it. I do it just to shut him up, and afterwards he begs for sweet death too. So I crush his giant fucking head under my boot and tell his family he offed himself in the middle of nowhere or something! No one would miss him.

Vegeta, you are such a piece of shit. I know how badly you want me to just wring your fucking neck. I just want to turn you into mush sometimes. And it just makes me SO FUCKING ANGRY that you would want me to do that kind of sick shit to you. You don't even have enough dignity to value your own life when it comes to me. You would feel honored if I sent you to Hell. I wish I had spat on your grave when I dug it the first time.

ENTRY 6: VEGETA AGAIN

I never finished writing about my encounter with Vegeta earlier today. I'm not sure what it is about that guy that gets me all worked up!

But I'm okay now. I took a breather earlier. I just read over everything I wrote and I'm kind of embarrassed? Haha.

Back to my story!

Earlier this afternoon I used instant transmission to teleport myself right to where Vegeta stood. As always, he was in the Gravity Room training against those wimpy robots Bulma built for him. Yuck. He was wearing nothing but a pair of boxer shorts and sneakers.

"Hey, buddy," I said while smiling, "what's the matter?"

He ignored me.

Earlier I mentioned Vegeta is super gay, right? At that moment I had the weirdest thought: could I get Vegeta to suck my dick?

I thought it would be hilarious if I could pull that off. But he's as skittish as a cat. I couldn't just go pulling my pants down all of a sudden and force him to go to town on my junk.

Instead, I took my shirt off. I didn't have much of a plan after that. But I knew the second I did it, he'd become distracted.

It worked. He got singed with a laser from one of Bulma's shitbots. He ordered the computer to turn the program off. He walked up to me with a sneer on his face and asked, "What are you doing?"

"I'm just getting more comfortable!"

"Put your shirt back on, Kakarot."

I didn't. He stood in front of me for a long time just staring at my chest.

"What's the matter, Vegeta?" I asked.

I distinctly remember him licking his lips. He said, "Nothing."

"Bulma said you've been cooped up in here for days now."

"It's none of her concern." He finally turned away from me.

I knew at this point I couldn't get him to suck my dick. But I wondered if I could make him admit how gay he was. Just for the fun of it. So I asked him, "Are you lonely, Vegeta?"

He snapped at me. "Why do you ask?"

Reading Vegeta's emotions was like staring into a crystal-clear swimming pool. Sure, he has depth to him, but he's not a complex or mysterious dude at all. No matter how many times Bulma brags to Chi-Chi about how sexy and brooding Vegeta can be, I'll always call bullshit. God, that shit gets annoying to hear about all of the time from my wife.

Anyway, I said, "I bet you haven't talked to anyone you could relate to in a long time. Doesn't that make you feel kind of sad?"

He looked away from me.

"I get lonely too sometimes," I lied.

Can you believe he looked at me with a smile on his face? He so badly wanted to believe that I was just like him. "The great Kakarot gets lonely?" he said.

"It's true!" I patted him on the shoulder. "I'm happy to be around my family, but sometimes I feel like they don't understand me."

"I feel the same way," he said immediately.

I wasn't sure if he was opening up so easily because he was tired from training three days straight, or because I was shirtless. Probably a combination of the two. I wanted to look down at his crotch to see if he already had a hard-on, but that would have broken the intense stare we shared with each other.

I can't believe how much of a woman he is. At that moment I really did wonder if he was about to tell me how much he loved me.

I helped him out. "You feeling lonely probably has something to do with us being the last Saiyans," I said.

"You may be right."

"Hey, I've got an idea!" I snapped my fingers. "Do you want to come over to my house tomorrow for dinner?"

Vegeta made another stupid facial expression. "With my family in tow?"

"By yourself. We can spar afterwards, too."

It was a perfect idea! Vegeta had an alibi to spend time with me by himself. He could even stay over late and lie to Bulma about training if necessary. Bulma would assume I was "fixing" her poor little Vegeta so he could properly fall in line with her lifestyle once I was done with him.

He nodded. "Alright."

I looked at his leg. He was antsy. My time with him was running out. I didn't get to make him admit he was gay, but he did agree to spend time with me. Alone.

I laughed. For a long time. Nothing was really funny. I just knew Vegeta enjoyed seeing me smile. He laughed too, then punched me hard in the ribs.

Normally I would get really mad about that sort of thing. But I knew he just wanted a chance to touch my exposed chest.

Honestly, I don't know what his real problem is and I don't care. Tomorrow night I'm going to push him to his limits to see if he'll break. Getting my dick sucked by the Prince of all Saiyans may be a tall order, but I bet I could get him to do something just as humiliating.