Suffering in Silence

by Burn.The.Evidence

He had become an expert at hiding his feelings. It's not like he could act on them anyway. But when the subject of Jace's affection has nowhere else to go but the bedroom next door, hiding his feelings becomes increasingly difficult. The biggest problem? She's dating his roommate, who also happens to be his bestfriend.

2. Chapter 2

I don't like the way I ended the previous chapter so I decided to update now. Think of this as chapter 1 part 2. This chapter does contain some heavier content. It's nothing too bad just some light curse words and suggestive tones. Please read the A/N at the end :D

disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot and the laptop I write this on.

"What do you think you're doing?" a voice boomed behind me. My hands shot out of the warm, soapy water. Not only did I get a fright but I spilt water down the front of my shirt. "Jace!" That laughing asshole. "Sorry, I didn't think I'd give you that much of a fright." Liar, he totally did that on purpose. "But I'm serious, what are you doing?" I looked down at the sink full of dishes. "I'm baking you a cake." I said sarcastically. "Oh excellent. Promise you'll jump out of it in a bikini?" I flicked water at him in reply. Typical Jace, aways thinking with his little head instead of his big one. "Why are you doing dishes, Clary?" he asked. "There are dishes to be done." Jace gave me a 'are you mentally challenged or just plain stupid?' look. "No. Nope. I don't think so. You cooked so you're not allowed to do the dishes too. I'll do them. You go grab one of mine or Sebastian's shirts and I'll dry yours." Jace may not like to admit it but he can be a gentleman sometimes. "Careful, Jace, your inner gentleman is showing." Jace gasped dramatically. "Shit! get back in the box. Get back in the box." I laughed louder than what would be considered ladylike. "Now go watch a movie with your boyfriend." I smiled a wide smile and thanked him. I changed my shirt for one of Sebastian's, which looked like a bed sheet on me, and joined him on the couch. "Hey, baby." Sebastian stretched his arm out so I could cuddle up against his side. "Can we watch a movie?" I looked up at him. How is he hot from every angle? I'll never understand how I got so lucky. "Sure. What do you want to watch?" It wasn't a difficult question to answer when I knew they had my favourite movie recorded. "Corpse Bride." I said excitedly. "No," he moaned, "I can't stand that crap." And his hotness level went down two points. "Please?" I begged. But he stood his ground, "No." Okay, time to pull out the big guns. I maneuvered myself so that I was straddling him. "Please?" I begged again but he simply crossed his arms over his chest. "No." I ran my hand through his hair, knowing full well how much that effects him. "Are you sure?" I bit my lip. "Y-yes." I was delighted to hear his voice falter. I brought my lips closer to his, "Positive?" I kissed the corner of his mouth slowly, teasingly. "Less so by the second." Came his shakey reply. He uncrossed his arms and steadied himself by gripping the couch cushion he was sitting on. Oh how I loved to teasing him. "Because," I lightly grazed my nails from his ear to the base of his throat, "I'd really hate," I slowly rolled my hips against his, "to make you do anything you don't want to do." I whispered that last part seductively in his ear and finally he gave in, "Okay, we can watch it." His voice was low and hoarse. "Yay." I grinned and climbed off of him. "Ah! You tease." He pouted. "I'll make it up to you." I started the movie. God I love Tim Burton. "You better. But I can't watch the whole thing. I have three lectures tomorrow and the first one is at eight." I pouted, I knew Sebastian's dream was to be a surgeon and I was happy that he was persuing his dream but it really did take up a lot of his time and he always came home exhausted. It's one of the reasons I come over to cook so often. I just wanted to lighten his load a little and make sure that he didn't have to worry about his studies and feeding himself becuase knowing him he would probably start studying and forget to eat for a couple days. It wouldn't be the first time.

We didn't even get halfway through the movie before Sebastian kissed me quickly and went to bed. I decided to stay and finish the movie. You can't leave Corpse Bride unfinished. "Where hath thou boy toy gone?" Jace said while drying his hands on a dish cloth. "The good sir hath retired for the evening seeing as he must rise early to attend his schooling." I put on my best British accent. "What? You say he left you, a poor defenseless maiden, all on your own? And you call him a good sir?" He scoffed and sat on the arm rest next to me. his accent was so much better than mine. It made me want to punch him. "Doesn't he know there are vultures around at this hour? You never know, one might just swoop down and carry you away." He scooped me up into his lap and started tickling me. The bastard. "Oh my god, Jace, no no no no no. Please stop." I gasped. "Have mercy." he didn't stop, he just tickled even harder. "Does the fair maiden surrender?" His eyes sparked with mischief. "Yes! I surrender! Oh My god, Jace, stop." I giggled, and thankfully he did. He put me back down where I was sitting before he decided to attack me and wiggled his way inbeween me and the arm rest. "So what are we watching? Corpse Bride? Tim Burton's best in my opinion." Jace wrapped his arm around me and I snuggled up to his side, pulling a blanket over the both of us. My hand rested rested on Jace's chest and I could feel his heart beat irratically, "Jace, are you okay? your heart rate is a little high." He chuckled, "I'm fine, just a little worked up from tickling you." He smiled down at me, "Are you sure?" I double checked. "Clary, is our little resident surgeon rubbing off on you?" He asked. "Yep, in more ways than one." Jace gaged, "Oh God stop, I do not want that mental image. Eugh." He shivered. "Okay well then shut up. I'm trying to watch a movie." I snuggled up against him again. "I do apologise, fair maiden, it won't happen again." I smiled to myself. Ever since I lost my bestfriend, Simon, two years ago I always felt like there was a piece of my existance that was missing, like a chip of bone that that broke away from my ribs and got lost. It was painful and absent. It still feels like that sometimes but i've found that whenever i'm with one of these boys it hurts a little less, it becomes more bareable. Jace slowly, absentmindedly ran his fingers up and down my arm as we sat and watched the movie and soon I could feel my eyelids sink lower and lower until the dark animation was replaced by the dark backs of my eyelids.

"Clary. Clary, come on the movie's over. We better get you to bed." Jace whispered. I shook my head, "No, you and Seb have to be up early for class and I have work in the morning and class straight afterwards and all my books are at home." My voice was groggy and trying to open my eyes felt like the most difficult thing I've ever had to do. "Well I'm not letting you drive home while half asleep. You could crash and die and funerals are boring and expensive." How does he have friends? Seriously? "Your overwhelming amount of concern is truly moving." I stood up and, along with a yawn, I stretched my arms above my head. "I try. Now come on, I'll give you a lift home." He grabbed his keys and we made our way to his car.

Jace's point of view:

It hadn't even been two minutes since we had started driving and Clary was already asleep again. Today there was a crack in my well constructed mask. I could easily control my facial expressions. I mastered the art of that back when I was a kind and I coud easily deflect or distract anyone who started to piece anything together with a witty or sarcastic comment but hiding the physical tells was a lot harder. How was i supossed to slow my heartbeat or keep my hands from getting clammy? And how the hell was I supposed to keep everything down and in place when the mental image of a little uniform bending over played behind my eyelids. I shifted in my seat. God, I need to get laid. I pulled up in front of Clary"s apartment building. She was passed out in the seat next to me. She's pretty incredable, working a job and trying to survive a double major all the while looking after Sebastian and me. Not that we really needed looking after. She just cares so much, so she makes sure we're eating and staying healthy and she's always first in to drive down from her aprtment to help you fix the washing machine when in reality you just don't know how to start the thing or run to the store to get another copy of your bestfriend's favourtite movie, Inception, after you accidentally step on it and break it. She's also the one that will sit next to you on the floor next to the toilet and sweap your hair out of your face, rub your back and get you a painkiller and a glass of water after a long night of drinking followed by a morning blurred with a hangover. And she does this all without complaint. She's just a really good friend. Just a friend. I opened her door and carefully lifted her out. I held her close to me while we went up to the fourth floor in the elevator. I gently dug the keys to her front door out of her jacket pocket and entered. I loved her apartment. It matched her completely. It was small like her, the walls were a dark orange red like her hair and there were paint splatters on just about every surface, they reminded me of the little freckles on her nose and cheeks. There were canvasses, paint tubes, photographs, that she took, and drawing pencils everywhere. It was very Clary. I remember once I had found a drawing of me in one of her sketch books while I was helping her look for her portfolio and for a second there was a blossom of hope and excitement that soon died when I found an entire book full of skeches of Sebastian. I walked into her room and carefully placed her into bed, removed her sneekers, covered her with her duvet and set an alarm on her phone so that she wouldn't be late for work. She curled up into a ball and showed no sign of waking anytime soon. I brushed her hair out of her face, "Goodnight, my fair maiden." Out of nowhere it hit me like a bullet to the chest, that feeling again, like a panic attack in a room with no air. I had to get out of there. I couldn't breathe. I just about sprinted out of the apartment, almost forgeting to lock the door and slide the key under it. The elevator took too long to arrive so I ran down the stairs instead. I made it back to my car and the first thing I did was hit the steering wheel repeatedly. But that did nothing but hurt my hand. I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself down. I rested my head against the steering wheel. "Just friends." I whispered to myself with a shaky voice. I sighed. Why did I decide to be lazy that day eight months ago? It could have been me. I decided then and there that I, Jonathan Christopher Herondale, needed a drink.

The bar was dark and smelled of smoke, sweat and braincells dying. My kind of place. I ordered whiskey and downed it the second it was placed in front of me and then I ordered another one. This was repeated about four or five times. A girl sat next to me, she was pretty but not the right pretty and her hair was the wrong colour, "Hi." Her voice was wrong too. "Hi," I gave her a tight lipped smile. "You look pretty lonely sitting here all by yourself, why dont you finish that drink and join me for a dance?" I looked her up and down. She was pretty hot and it had been a while. "Sure." I downed my drink and followed her to the dance floor. We danced for a few songs, and by danced I mean I stood there with my hands on her hips and swayed while she used me as a strpper pole. "So do you wanna head back to your place?" She whispered in my ear. I must admit it turned me on. I switched my game on. I pressed myself against her, swept her hair to the side and said; "Why don't we head to yours instead I'll make you scream so loud that your neighbours phone the police." She moaned, grabbed my hand and led me out of the bar.

Okay so thats chapter two. I hope you enjoyed reading it because I enjoyed writting it. Now for a few story related items:

1. First I'd like to apologise for the late update, I had a HUGE history exam to study for and there was so much to study. I could basically publish my notes as a full length novel. During the exam people actually started crying and just got up and left. Great job Education Department.

2. So I'm from South africa and we spell things a little differently, we use the british spelling system, so in other words we overdose on the letter u and usually use s instead of z (this is mostly for the american readers)

3. Every now and then I'll make a song suggestion for some scenes. It probably won"t happen often though.

4. This one isn't story related but :D so i'm short, like 5'3, i have curly redish ginger hair, freckles on my nose and cheeks, I'm an art student, my ex boyfriend was much taller than me and blonde and my dad is a total asshole that my mom left and moved to the other side of the country to get away from. Sound like any fictional charcter we know?

5. The rating of this story might go up to M later on.

5. Please review this. I would love to get this story up to 100 reviews and I like getting emails telling me that people have reviewed or follwed Suffering In SIlence because it makes me feel important and cool.

Enjoy the rest of your whatever it is in the time zone you're in :D

And last but not least; always remember to Burn The Evidence.