Writing to Christian really has helped me in these past few months. I'm really glad Wanda suggested it to me. Wanda was the first person I met when I moved here to Oregon. I figured I'm still close enough if anything happens but still far enough away to stay hidden. Wanda is just a few years older than me. She's married to her husband, Ian, and they live full time in California. The house that I stay at is their vacation home 'to get away from the heat and the fake people' as they explained to me. Oceanside is mostly a vacation/retirement spot with only 400 residents and it is beautifully serene.
I told them that my boyfriend and the father of my child had died and I moved to get away from the memories. Not a complete lie, I mean I feel like he's gone although I really hope he isn't.
"Hey. Whatcha thinkin' bout'?" Wanda asks coming in the room.
"Him.." I huff.
"Yeah, I figured. You've just been staring at nothing for a while?"
"Really? How long have you been in here?" I ask shocked.
"Just a few minutes."
"Oh…"
"Yeah, its okay sweetie. I know you must miss him."
"Yeah, I do." I say getting a little emotional.
"The doctor told me she'll be sending you guys home tomorrow. You excited?" She asks trying to change the subject.
"I am! I can't wait to get my Teddy Bear out of here. I can't wait for him to see the beach." I say excitedly.
"Yeah, our little boy will be riding the waves in no time." Ian says strutting in to the room.
"He's only a day old. Can we not plan his career already?" Wanda says playfully.
"Okay.. okay.. I'll lay off for now." He says going in for a quick peck on the lips. It makes me think of Christian.
"So what's our boys name?" they both look at me expectantly.
"Theodore Raymond Grey."
"Interesting. Professional. I like it." Wanda says.
"Where'd you get the names from?" Asks Ian.
"Well Theo is his great grandfathers name, Ray is my dads and Grey is his fathers last name."
"Grey.. That's an interesting name. But I do like it."
—
We pull in to the driveway of their home and I take the car seat out of the car. My angel is sleeping but I decide to take him out back anyway so he can breath in that beautiful ocean smell. I take him out of the seat and whisper softly to him.
"You see that ocean Teddy? You will get to see that everyday. And we will go play in the water, and I'll teach you how to swim and fish. And one day we'll get a boat, sail out and I'll tell you all about your daddy and how much I love him and how much he loved us. I didn't get a chance to tell him about you but I know that he would have loved you."