Chapter Two: So Should I Laugh or Cry

All I see is a big balloon
Halfway up to the moon
He's wrapped up in the warm and safe cocoon
Of an eternal lie
So should I laugh or cry

-Should I Laugh or Cry, The Visitors (ABBA 1981)

It felt odd not waking up to the sound of Aunt Petunia screaming his name or Uncle Vernon shouting "Boy" over and over to get his attention. Instead, he woke up to another round of ABBA and Fleur's off-key singing. Harry found the French witch singing in the kitchen as she placed an omelet on a plate. "Bonjour 'Arry! Come and sit, I just finished making breakfast."

Harry greeted Viktor who was already at the table, a Daily Prophet in hand. The Bulgarian greeted Harry and continued with the news, taking a long sip of coffee. Harry sat down at a small buffet of food, a bowl of fruit, some pastries and omelets freshly made. Harry scooped up some fruit, an omelet, and a cinnamon roll. Fleur finally joined them, placing a mug of Hot Chocolate for Harry and a cup of coffee for herself. Harry thanked her as he took a bite of the omelet Fleur made.

They sat in silence before Viktor interrupted with a slur of swear words (at least that's what Harry thought the Bulgarian wizard uttered) towards the newspaper. He had a look of disgust as he showed just what made him upset.

On the front cover was a picture of Harry, the headline reading Boy-Who-Lied? New details emerging about the Triwizard Tournament and what really happened to Cedric Diggory! For more, turn to page 19.

It made Harry's heart sink and all of the memories crept up like a dementor. His hand started shaking, something Harry did not know until Fleur gently took it and squeezed tightly. Harry wanted to cry, laugh and vomit all at the same time. "I saw him." His voice went quiet but he knew that Viktor and Fleur heard him but they didn't ask. Their silence spoke volumes, it spoke, when you are ready you tell us.

They moved one and pushed Cedric to the side. But Harry could still see the haunted looks in both the older teens eyes, it was the same look he had whenever he saw his reflection in the mirror.

The streets of Diagon Alley was easy since nobody knew that a famous Bulgarian Quidditch player and the savior of the wizarding world were shopping. Instead, it was Fleur and her two dorky cousins, dirty blonde, green-blue eyes, and somewhat fair french like complexion, as she told a book clerk, a sly grin on her face. Viktor had a scowl on his face as Fleur pushed all their shopping bags onto him. "There, by the end of the day, you'd done all your exercises for Quidditch practice!" She joked earning an eye roll from him and a snicker from Harry.

As they walked back to the entrance of Diagon Alley, he asked Fleur when she will be going to work. "I will be going back in a couple week, they still are training me but after that, I will be working full-time." Harry could see she was passionate about what the field she was going into. He hoped that one day he found a job that gave him that passion Fleur had.

The next part was London by which time, the disguise that Fleur charmed worn off and the two boys were free. They walked to more shops, Fleur and Viktor helping Harry pick some comfortable but stylish clothes. He bought some muggle novels as well, one shop they entered caught his eye. They entered the bookstore and browsed before Harry heard someone call his name.

"Harry Potter?" He turned to look at Parvati Patil, his fellow schoolmate, and Gryffindor. He was just as surprised to see her here as she was to see him. "Hey, Parvati." He smiled. She raised an eyebrow, her curiosity peaked. "What are you doing here in London?" He shrugged and gestured to the books. "Shopping."

He knew he had to explain this, keep this under wraps that he was here. Parvati must have seen something on his face and something in Harry knew that whatever he told her, she wouldn't spill. So, boldly and somewhat very Gryffindorish he told Parvati the truth, that he left his uncle's house and was currently living with the other champions of the Triwizard tournament. Parvati's eyes widened and as she scanned the store, she noticed the two champions making Harry's story true. She held her hand to stop him. "Owl me later? I live in the area but maybe we can meet up?" Harry nodded. They said goodbye and walked away.

True to his word, Harry owled Parvati. She, in turn, owled back and to his surprise so did her twin, Padma. His first letter was to apologize for his behavior at the Yule Ball to Parvati and to some extent Padma which both girls accepted but wanted an apology gift in return. So, Harry asked them if they wanted to go get some ice cream later in the next week which they accepted. They decided and let him know, Harry told Fleur and Viktor of his plans, which they seemed fine with as long as Harry got back on time, they were fine.

It felt weird, that he was being, well, normal for once. If only the Dursleys could see me, Harry thought amusingly.

Harry wrote back and forth to Parvati. He later got around to send a letter to Padma, striking a conversation via owls. It was good, talking to people again, even if it wasn't facing to face. Parvati decided on the day to meet up, which would be the first week of July. For now, they talked about the upcoming school year and what it was like living with Fleur. He didn't tell them about Viktor, opting to instead make sure his friend at some privacy, making it seem that it was only him and Fleur.

Harry and Padma talked about the latest books they read and recommendations. Parvati gave him the gossip of what she'll predict will be brewing next year. He also realized that Parvati had an amazing sense of humor. Talking about the new DADA teacher that would take the position from 'faux-Moody' as she dubbed the last professor. "Maybe Lockhart will come back for round two?" Parvati joked in her letter making Harry laugh. It's been a while since Harry laughed this care-free before the Tournament.

In other words, Harry was becoming a regular teenager for once, until it didn't last.

Now, here he was a day later after reading his latest letter from Padma, a letter written by his head of house along with other anxiously written letters that made Harry wonder how did they ever find out he left. He knew that he had to answer McGonagall's letter sooner rather than later but he did not want to get Fleur in trouble. He looked at the other opened letters, one by Mrs. Weasley, another from Ron, from Hermione and one by Sirius with a small paragraph by Lupin.

All of them asking questions about his whereabouts, if he was okay and why he would do something so stupid. But McGonagall's letter was, to put it, blunt and to the point. She asked Harry if it would be possible to meet in his area of residence with the permission of whoever he was staying with. She promised that it was only going to be her and no one without his permission would know. She seemed genuinely concerned for him and Harry, on his part felt guilt at letting the people he cared for feel fear at his disappearance. He would have to talk it over with Fleur and Viktor, most importantly with Fleur since this is her apartment.

He made his way downstairs where he found Fleur with music quietly playing as she scribbled some stuff down on her parchment paper. Her hair was in a messy bun, strands of blonde hair on her cheeks as she looked up to see Harry.

She made a motion for him to sit and he handed her the letter from McGonagall. He had his eyes down as Fleur read it quietly, Harry did not know if she was having trouble with some of the words from the face she was making but he didn't ask. Fleur put the letter down and cleared her throat.

"I do not mind if she comes." Her accent was soft. "But that is up to you. Do you want your professor to come and visit you?"

"I don't mind, she must be worried along with others, like my friends." and my godfather, Harry added mentally. It wasn't a right time to tell Viktor and Fleur about Sirius, he should but not right now, later Harry promised himself. Later, I'll tell them.

It was ironic that Fleur picked a song called 'The Day Before You Came' the day McGonagall came. It was now the day, a Friday, that his head of house came to talk with him. Fleur was sitting, reading up on the medical illnesses of wizards and muggles. She was finally going to work, which made Harry excited to see his friend go on to pursue her career.

Viktor was cleaning his broom as the song switched to an upbeat tone but the lyrics and undertone made it seem sadder. As the song came to its chorus, the signal of a loud crack made Fleur and Viktor point their wands towards Professor McGonagall. They apologized profusely as Harry mentally counted down to stop his heart from beating loudly.

"Mr. Potter." McGonagall greeted him curtly but relieved to find him safe. "Hello, Professor." The older woman greeted the champions as well, as she took a seat where Viktor was, he sat next to Fleur. "I apologize for startling all of you. I am here to talk about your recent actions Mr. Potter."

Harry waited, braced himself for the berating and yelling. Instead, he got a sigh. "What were you thinking Potter? Gave us all a heart attack, especially Padfoot, Lupin and Mrs. Weasley. We had no idea where you were before your relatives and the guard on duty told us that Ms. Delacour took you. I want an explanation Potter, please."

"I needed to go before I did something." He paused, trying to push down the lump in his throat to continue to talk. "Viktor and Fleur, they understand, probably the only people close enough to understand what it was like to be a Champion. They understand what it was like to be in that Maze with Cedric before he-before he died. Nobody else knows, not Hermione, not Ron, not Padfoot-them, Fleur and Viktor. They don't push me, but they understand what it was like to be put through hell and come back with a smile on at the end." Harry did not know he was crying until he could hear it in his voice, feel it on his face.

It felt like this pressure, this weight was being lifted off. It was grief from Cedric, and anger from the tournament that pressed on Harry after it was over, it was the chilling dreams he got of Voldemort.

"I don't like this, being this weird." He laughed. "I'm sorry for-" McGonagall interrupted him. "Harry, you have nothing to apologize. What you've been through, none of us can understand, probably never will but that does not mean you can't talk about it. Miss Delacour and Mr. Krum, I believe are two people that can understand, slightly what you've been through. If not us, talk to them. Cedric was a brave, fair person and you feeling guilty will not change that but you can honor his memory by taking life one step at a time. Remember that."

They talked a bit more about how he was living here, Harry made it clear that he wanted to stay with Fleur over the holidays. It took Fleur by surprise which made Harry smile shyly. "If that's alright with you, I mean." Fleur wholeheartedly agreed, her tone of voice already setting the stubborn fight of having Harry stay with her. McGonagall smiled amusingly but went back to her stern facial expression. She made Harry promise not to do this again, it was a dangerous time they were all living in. He did not need to be told twice, the echoing of the laughter coming back sending a chill down his spine.

After McGonagall left, Fleur hugged Harry tightly. It made Harry cry, he did not know why he was getting emotional. "This is stupid." He said though it sounded muffled by Fleur's shoulder. "No, it's not," Fleur told him, she sounded like she was about to cry.

Maybe it wasn't.

Night came, Harry dreamt of the graveyard once more. But this time it was different, this time his parents were there, Fleur and Viktor. He looked around and the whole stadium was watching him, yelling "Liar!" over and over and over.

"No, stop it! No!" He screamed but it fell deaf over the loud chants, each growing louder and louder. He turned once more to face the dead corpse of Cedric. He wanted to wake up-so why wasn't he waking up?

Cedric looked pale, his eyes, brown shade now looked glassy. His hair limp and his face scratched up, lips chapped. His skin and clothes covered with dirt as if he crawled from his resting place to see Harry.

"You did this." There was no anger, just a weak sadness that came from the dead boy. "You are nothing but a curse Potter. Everyone around you will die because you live, all because of you."

"NO"

"Harry!" A woman's voice screamed, finally breaking the spell.

He was on the floor, shaking as sweat clung to his skin. Viktor knelt down and grasped him, making Harry push away but the older teen held on. Harry was incoherent, sobbing uncontrollably. Fleur could only make out the words as he sobbed.

"It's all my fault. They're all gone and it's all my fault." He cried out through the tears.

Fleur wanted to cry, but she needed to make sure Harry was alright. Viktor looked utterly clueless just as she felt about what to do, all they could do was sit with him until he calmed down. So they did.

She crouched down on Harry's right side and hugged him tightly. He was still shaking and as Fleur hummed a tune, she realized he was so small.

She was right, he was just a boy trying to fix an adult's problem, facing Voldemort at the end of the year. But he was still a child, an orphan dealing with ghosts that the world left clinging to him.

NOTES: Chapter 2! Made it longer and more ABBA! I don't own the song Should I Laugh or Cry and a little shoutout to 'The Day Before You Came'. Both really good songs and there will be some non-ABBA titles/quotes/mentions soon, promise! This song is 'Should I Laugh or Cry' a song that I thought spoke well about the turmoil in Harry that he slowly scratching at... for now. More chapters to come in the foreseeable future and more Patil Twins and Ron and Hermione will make an appearance. Have faith!

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