The journey shall officially start now! The adventure of a life time will start! One filled with joy! Sadness! Self Discovery! Love! Bullshit! Who wrote this shit!? Wait... Fuck! Dammit Cain! Give me the book back!

Cain: Nooooooooooooo!

Travis: Yes!

Cain: No!

Travis: Yes!

Owain: *Takes book and points sword* Cut this shit out! Cain! Let Travis write his thing before I drop the ultimate power of my Sword Hand on you!

Cain: ... Wah!

Travis: I will get the pepper spray!

Cain: Merp! Anyways! On with the adventure! Hopefully pepper spray free?

Owain: I have a hidden bottle just for you in case you do any dumb shit.

Travis: Good call, Scion.

Owain: The Scion of legends is always prepare to face the trials of the day! Especially when they have to do with Cain.

Cain: Bullies!

Travis: We're not even being mean yet, dude. Now then! On with the start of something... Cain-like. Also, why is my hair gray!?

Cain: Technically it's silver. Because if we're going to explore and get you a girl friend, you need to look badass.

Travis: I thought the point was to find a girl who liked me for me?

Owain: I thought we were just trying to get you laid? That's what Cain's version of a girl friend seems to be.

Cain: Not entirely, though sex is nice.

Owain: Especially without taking proper precautions, considering she's pregnant.

Cain: ... Shut up.

Travis: Can we start now? I want this to be over as soon as possible. Before that though, everyone of us has a theme song. Well, I don't yet. Apparently you find your theme song when you need it most, according to these two idiots. Anyways, Cain's theme song is called Pirate Hooker by Zomboy. Owain's is called Id (Hope) from his game Fire Emblem Awakening. When they are going to do something cool I'll put a cue up for it. Now we can start.

After writing the Author's Note, Cain and Owain decided to take Travis to get some gear for the journey, since everything that could possibly go wrong would probably go wrong. In a very short amount of time. So they journeyed to a magical place to look for supplies. The Black Market. Why Cain decided this would be a good place for a kid? No clue, but to be fair, he had a badass samurai with him and a Vampire who couldn't die and would only come back to annoy people. So it was safe to say Travis was in moderately good hands.

They walked around the warehouse, looking over the things on the tables. Guns were out of the option, since the only one who never seemed to run out of ammo was Cain. But Travis was still mildly confused. So he tapped Cain on the shoulder, getting the Vampire's attention.

"So let me get this right. We're here to get me a weapons, from a group of people who are highly illegal, and mostly sell guns, so get me a sword?" Cain nodded quickly.

"Pretty much." Travis thought about it before nodding.

"Fuck it. Owain, since you know a good sword, show me your ways, oh Master Scion." Owain let it go straight to his head, looking at the booth that had swords daggers and any type of sharp weapons imaginable. He lifted one of the sword, looking closely at the blade.

"Poorly made, would shatter too easily for our needs." He grabbed a large sword that was almost as tall as Travis. The mage in training slowly lowered it back to the table.

"Owain, how about a smaller sword since that thing could swing me." Owain tensed, shaking before shouting his anger loudly, causing everyone to look at him, some reaching for guns. Travis laughed on the inside. Like those would help against a bat shit insane Cowboy Vampire, and a swordsman who can slice bullets out of the air. He gave Owain a confused pat on the back.

"Focus, dude." He nodded, looking back at the blades. Then his right hand started to twitch. As stupid as it seemed to most people, Owain's Sword Hand actually had very good intuition. He held it up, his hand continuing with it's twitching.

"Sword Hand, show me the way." He hovered his hand over the blades, moving over them slowly, his eyes closed. He got half way through when he stopped, dropping onto a normal one handed sword with a dark grey blade that had fire like markings along the middle of the blade. The handle had black leather wrapped around it and a small black orb on the hilt.

Owain picked it up, his eyes wide with wonder. He ran his fingers over the handle slowly, looking along every part of it. He gave a mock swing and stab at the air. He then held it in both hands before handing it to Travis.

"Try it out." Travis grabbed it, surprised by the lack of weight, which he wasn't going to argue. He swung it, not losing control like he had with Owain's sword before. He nodded, looking at the sheathe which was black leather, leather strips hanging off the sides that dangled down.

"I like it. How much?" The shop keeper looked to Cain, smiling.

"For him and you guys? Free. Cain, make sure you come by for another drink, eh?" Cain nodded, doing an elaborate secret hand shake with the guy. The actions ranged from simple high fives to even head butting each other. It certainly reminded Travis of Grown Ups 2 with the college kids. When they were done Cain gave a thumbs up.

"Count on it. I'll drink your ass under the table any day." The man smirked.

"We'll see." Cain gave the motion that he was watching him and the man laughed. Travis tried to strap the sheathe to his waist, but found it annoying so he moved it to his back, the handle by his right shoulder.

"Ok, now what?" Owain took a stance with his legs bent, and his right hand by his face.

"Now, noble mage in training, we must find you armor that will suit your fighting style. Fast and powerful, yes?" Travis shrugged.

"How the fuck should I know, Owain? I usually just flick my hands and things implode. Hell if I know about sword fighting." Owain deflated, sobbing silently, causing Travis to face palm and Cain to start seeing if he could make himself implode by holding his breath. Then Owain shot up, shouting once more.

"I will find the perfect armor for you! Beware not, for the shadows that stand against us shall face my wrath! As it cloaks you in the safety of its power, eviscerating everything in it's power!" Travis started to use his tome to translate. Apparently, Owain was it's own language.

"A coat?"

"Yup!" Cain fell over, having ran out of air and losing consciousness. Travis pointed at him, looking at Owain in confusion.

"What should we do about him?" Cain seemed to teleport to his feet.

"I saw Jesus." Travis nodded.

"What'd he say?"

"Get the fuck out of my house." Travis nodded.

"Seems legit." Now Owain nodded.

"Such powers from one such as you would cause such things." Travis' right eye twitched.

"Can we just get me armor and finish this fucking road trip?" Owain took his pose with his right hand, tensing and shaking.

"Yes! Sword Hand! Show me the path to glorious victory! RRRRAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHH!" He sprinted forward, leaving a trail of dust behind him as he went. Cain whooped, slipping on a banana and hitting the floor, somehow imploding on himself. Travis looked at the banana and then backed away. He walked around it carefully, not wanting to suffer the same fate. He took two steps away when Cain walked through nothing and burped.

"Mmm... Demon intestines." Travis gave a slightly annoyed glare.

"Ya done? We need to find the Scion before he blows up the warehouse." Cain rubbed his chin, reaching into his back pocket and pulling out a small party popper. He shot it above Travis, the confetti landing on his head.

"Hooray! We're going on a trip!" Travis smirked.

"In our favorite rocket ship!" They went back to back, holding fake mics.

"Shooting through the sky!"

"Little Cain-Steins!" A booth owner shouted at them.

"Hey! Shut the fuck up!" They both looked at each other before smirking.

"Dog pile!" Granted, they did not expect everyone else to join in, but with weapons like knives and guns. But nobody noticed the kid and Vampire as they snuck away. They got outside the warehouse, realizing something important was left inside.

"Owain!" Then the blonde swordsman raced outside, multiple things in his hands.

"I found them! And since everyone was fighting for some reason, I just grabbed them and ran!" Travis smirked, realizing they all probably had a bounty the size of Texas on their heads, but it was totally worth it.

"Sweet. To be honest, I thought the place was going to explode and sink underground." Owain waved his arm dismissively.

"We're not that destructive." Then the warehouse exploded, launching the group towards Travis' car, when Owain slowly slid along the ground, Cain used the force and stopped himself on nothing, while Travis made a portal that shot him up from the ground and allowed him to land on his feet. They looked to see the warehouse in shambles.

"I mean at least-" Then it sunk under the ground, the Earth seeming to swallow it.

"Keeping mouth shut, got it. Can we go?" They all nodded, getting into the car, Travis driving while Owain took front and Cain the back. This was their system since Cain liked the back, for some reason they all couldn't understand. When they got back to Travis' house they all made their way to his room, a simple small room he shared with his younger brother.

It was only them, thankfully, but Travis opened a portal to Nid Lein, the group jumping through. Travis flopped on the couch, the other two joining him on the massive couch. Owain threw Travis the things in his hand, the mage looking them over. Owain was excited.

"Put them on!" Travis groaned, standing and putting the new clothes on. The outfit consisted of a grey undershirt, his cross necklace still there. He had a small cloth around his neck that he could pull up or use almost like a scarf. He had a very large and bulky coat/cloak on, silver markings and buckles along the arms and shoulders. It had two large pockets on the front, and a large black strap on the left side for storing his tome.

His pants were only slightly lighter than the coat, a silver chain on the right side next to his front pocket. By the bottom of the legs were the silver markings again, that ran up and slowly vanished before meeting his waist. The markings reminded Travis of the paintings of tribal fire. His boots were black combat boots with large laces and metal in the toes for kicking. Travis felt something in the sleeves of the bulky jacket, wondering of he should tailor it. He reached in, pulling out more fabric that he realized went over his hands.

The fabric was still connected to the sleeves, but on the inside and the small silver ring at the end went over his index finger and gave him an almost glove of sorts that covered his hands, but allowed for use of his fingers. He realized the coat rand down the middle of his knees in the back, making him joke that he could like in the thing. It also sported a zipper that he had all the way up, the undershirt barely visible.

"How do I look?" Owain stood, looing him over and sometimes tugging on the coat.

"Hmm... It's very big on you, including the baggy pants. But you look epic! Don't change anything, for this is the gear necessary for us to vanquish the darkness of loneliness!" Cain nodded, then snapping, his new cowboy getup appearing on him. Travis was confused.

"What's with the new gear? What happened to your Hellsing stuff?" Cain shrugged.

"It's nice, but I don't want to telegraph I'm Hellsing and have to explain it. This is easier." Travis saw some of the logic, but stopped caring. Cain still had his black and red cowboy hat, the crow feather resting on the right side. He wore a large grey duster that had a crossing bandolier on it. His sawed off shotgun on his back and his rifle as well. At his waist were his two revolvers, and his black pants snug, the bottoms wider for some reason. His brown cowboy boots looked polished, and in top condition.

He looked like a normal cowboy. Travis looked to Owain, seeing the Scion placing on his new armor he had been excited about. It was a white jacket with fur at the end of the sleeves, the fur even being white. The jacket went down low, but split off into six different slits until they almost reached the ground. On his back was a silver insignia that looked like Naga's Tear. He wore silver fingerless gloves, as well as a white scarf around his neck, the ends resting halfway down his back, flowing in the 'wind' of Nid Lein.

His pants were grey and looked almost like the kind a samurai would wear, but his boots were leather ones with smaller laces. On his left waist was his sword's sheathe, Missiletainn waiting inside. The black kitana had slayed many a demon and almost scared Travis with its sleek design. Travis nodded, actually finding the outfit to be very badass.

"Nice! I think we look like a sexy group of killers." Cain took out his revolvers and started to twirl them.

"I mean, were you expecting any less?" Travis shook his head, grabbing his backpack and making sure everything was in it before facing them, seeing them have their own packs as well.

"You both good?" They nodded, Travis taking his phone out of his pocket.

"Adios, partner." He threw it on the couch, walking a few feet away before taking his tome off his coat.

"Ok, here goes." He let the book hover in front of him opened on the page of their destination. He placed his hands on the pages, closing his eyes and began chanting. He swiped his hands to the side and magical energy sparked to life in front of them, a portal opening.

"Holy shit! I did it!" They went to step through when a large hag like women shoved her head through and began to scream.

"What the fuck!" They all panicked and Travis closed the portal, her head being severed. They all screamed like little girls as it rolled across the floor. Travis even jumped into Cain's arms, while Owain flicked his hands in fear.

"OH MY GOD!"

"WHAT THE FUCKING HELL!"

"I HAVE THE WEIRDEST BONDER RIGHT NOW!" They all looked to Cain, the Vampire not looking at them.

"What in the actual Hell?" Cain dropped Travis, the mage landing on his chest, raising his head to see the hag right in front of him, her eye twitching.

"Shit!" He rolled away. standing and punting the head away. It rolled into the darkness of Nid Lein and Travis sighed.

"Why do I feel like it'll come back?" Owain shrugged.

"Because it will." Cain nodded, looking down to his pants, hoping to hide the bulge.

"Ya... whatever. Can we go?" Travis started the spell again, this time putting his hood on, hoping not to have any bright lights from the portal in his eyes.

This time it opened, the portal showing a large field. Travis and the others stepped through, admiring where they were.

"It's so peaceful." Owain nodded, but had his hand on his sword.

"Something doesn't feel right." They all turned, to see something that made them feel true terror.

"Hi! I'm Pinkie Pie! Wanna be friends?" They all screamed, running while Travis started to open another portal. Then they landed right in the middle of this town, dozens of the talking monsters around them. They screamed again, and everyone around them did the same. Owain stood, drawing his sword.

"Stand back demons! Lest I take this sword and cleave you into tiny demon pieces!" Cain looked at them before holding his revolver in his hands, wondering if it would work.

"What's that?" He turned to see the pink one from earlier. He pointed it at the horse/pony/demon/shitbag and fired. For some reason, watching the head of a pink pony explode with brain matter is pretty fulfilling. Travis was trying not to burst out laughing while Owain noticed all the demons around them started to have their eyes become black abysses.

"Shit." Travis and Cain turned, seeing them with bloodthirsty looks in their eyes. Then they turned, seeing the headless Pinkie Pie get up, and walk towards them. Owain drew Missiletainn, getting into a ready stance while Cain drew his second revolver. Travis opened his book, starting the spell.

"I'll get us out of here. These are level ten class demons. We won't stand a chance." Cain scoffed, shooting one only to watch it get up and look more pissed.

"Ya, let's spell now." Owain pointed his sword at them, then spun it and caused energy to soar through the air.

"Hold beasts!" Travis almost had the spell, hoping Owain's antics would hold them. They seemed slightly entranced by his rambling about how he would wreck their shit in. Travis opened the portal, but it was shaky.

"Guys!" They all ran, the horde of demons coming after them as they jumped through, Travis closing it. Then everything went black for them all.

When Owain woke he saw Cain next to him on the ground. He crawled over, shaking him up.

"Kita, I just fucked, give me five minutes." Owain backed away a little, before punching the Vampire. Cain woke up, rubbing his dick.

"Why would you do that!?"

"You told me Kita punches you during sex sometimes and you thought I was Kita, so I thought I would do something she doesn't!" Cain looked down, groaning before sitting up.

"Hey, where's that one guy we're trying to get laid?" Owain shrugged.

"My Sword Hand tells me he's here somewhere, in this land." Cain stood, still massaging his little friends.

"But where the floppy fishing hell is here?" Then he saw something that looked familiar.

"Oh. Success, on the third try." Owain stood next to him and looked out.

"Is this-"

"Terca Lumireis. Which means we're in the right place. But, where's Travis?"

"Come on, Repede, what do you smell?" Karol followed the blue dog as he sniffed along, his pipe held to the side of his mouth. Then they saw the black coat of someone. Karol ran over, flipping the person on their back. He saw someone slightly older than him, silver hair and a mostly clean face.

"Who is this?" Repede watched from a distance, the person groaning. Karol shook him slightly, waking the person up.

"... Cain, go fuck yourself, or Kita and let me sleep!" Karol almost dropped the person from the volume of the threat. The eyes opened to show silver eyes that looked around in slightly confusion before settling on Karol.

"Goddammit, it worked!"

They've been split! Oh no! What will happen now!? Ask Cain, since he seems to know everything.

Cain: Travis gets laid.

Travis: I do?

Cain: In a sense.

Owain: I sense some bullshittery.

Travis: Oh no, he's being dead honest, but I don't think it's the kind of laid you two are aiming for.

Cain: Yup! Wait, how are we talking when we're separated?

Travis: Bullshittery.

Owain: Yay!

Cain: ... Awesome! Can we talk whenever?

Travis: No, only during the Author's Notes.

Cain: Guess there's going to be another wall broken.

Owain: Naga help us.

Travis: Anyways, I hope you all enjoyed that immensely. So do us all a favor.

Cain: Take a shower...

Owain: Listen to your sword hand, and go outside more...

Travis: Keep calm, and may the Aura be with you! ... Holy shit that was cool.

Cain: And fuck money and get bitches.

Owain *Grumbles* You said it backwards.

Travis: Nevermind...