Author's note: Look at what I did, instead of studying for my Biochem exam. Also what the heck, the followers came in like crazy! Well, hopefully I'll entertain you guys as best as I can! :D
Review Time:
Unzealots - Always a fun fan theory to have Anna be the RNGoddess or something mystical, but a dragon...hmm...who knows, ooooOoooh~ But thanks for the support!
Sugouxxx - I've got the perfect straight man in mind for it, but heh, this story isn't going to be AS nutty as The Plight of the Lycia Alliance Army. But hey, it's Anna, so who knows? :3
Chapter 2 – Two Kingdoms for the Price of One!
Anna scowled as she moved on the bridge, being careful to not look down and start freaking out.
"Ugh! Why did they send me here, of all places? Not the middle of a bustling square, no no, that'd be too easy, right?!"
"HALT!"
"Hmm?"
Anna looked ahead and saw a group of ninja and samurai standing near a fort. All of them were looking critically at her.
"Oh hi! Could you gentlemen point to the nearest shop?"
"It's not here, if that's what you're getting at." The leader, Omozu, said. "This is the border between Hoshido and Nohr, and you, Nohrian scum, will not cross!"
"Oh that's….Nohrian scum? What, did you take the one from the Cliché Line Handbook or something?"
Feeling more comfortable now (talking to people was an Anna's special ability!), the merchant crossed the bridge and stopped at the fort's entrance.
"I said halt!" Omozu shouted, and two samurai ran up and blocked her passage with their swords.
"Boys, listen. I'm not from Nohr, I'm just a traveler! Honest!"
"Tch, you expect us to fall for that?" A samurai asked.
"You can find some other way to get around, girl." Omozu said. "This route is controlled by Hoshido, and we do not let in suspicious looking people like you!"
"Suspicious? Oh come on." Anna dug in her pocket and pulled out a sack. "What if I make worth your while, hmm?"
Omozu caught the sack, and all of his cohorts looked on as he reached inside.
Ha! By the time he figures it out, I'll be long gone into Hoshido!
"…this is a bunch of sand." He said. "HEY! GET BACK HERE!"
Uh-oh!
All of the ninja and samurai made haste in chasing down the girl, who had slipped past Omozu in the moment of curiosity.
"GET HER!"
Anna quickly ducked behind an old oak tree, and watched as the band dashed past her.
"She went this way! Hurry!"
Well, it's good to know that security in this world is laughably bad! Now to make my dramatic escape and head into-
Anna realized she had slipped on a root and off the ledge.
Oh the dark abyss. Fun.
…..
NOT FUUUUUUUUNNNNNN!
XXXXX
"Owww…"
Anna moaned as she opened her eyes, but rather than seeing the hard canyon floor, or worse, her spilled out organs….she saw a bright sky, with a land mass pointed upward.
Uhh….what?
She sat up and blinked.
Okay….what? Did I not just fall into darkness? What's going on? I swear, if this is another practical joke by you all, sisters, then I am NOT going to give you a family discount!
"Greetings."
Said the blue-haired girl sitting next to her.
"Oh, hey."
"…"
"…"
"Wait, what?! Who are you?!"
"I'd ask the same question." The girl said. "Are you alright?"
"Alright? Well I did just fall into a massive hole in the ground, and I think I'm probably hallucinating. Be honest, angel. How bad does my body look?"
"…are you coming on to me? I'm afraid I don't swing that way." The girl said bluntly.
"…..you're not playing with a full deck, are you, hun?"
"Do you remember what happened before….you awoke?"
"I was trying to get into Hoshido." Anna said, dusting herself off. "And it looks like I'm in the right place! So, are you the tour guide, or something?"
Azura, the former princess of Nohr, just stared at the merchant with the most neutral expression on her face.
"…kinda creeping me out, hun."
"What is your name?"
"Anna! And yours?"
"I…..am Azura. I hail from Hoshido…but sadly…..this is not it."
"Huh?"
Azura shook her head. "I'm surprised somebody from the outside world….has managed to find her way. Please, allow me to help you get back."
"But WHERE are we?"
Suddenly, both girls heard the rustling of the grass behind them. Anna turned her head, and saw the outline of invisible warriors, all with purple flames.
"Oh no! Quick, follow me!" Azura cried out, taking Anna's hand.
"Hun, I thought you said you didn't swing that way. I mean…..I'd do it to say I did, but Sister always said-"
She was yanked away before she could finish.
Hee hee.
Eventually Azura pulled Anna into a dimly lit cave, looking behind her.
"….okay. We slipped away…."
"Man, the security EVERYWHERE is awful, isn't it?" Anna said, frowning. "That probably means I'd have thieves for my business…."
"Anna….don't you understand? Those soldiers….they were targeting us. They're the only thing here. They're….nothing more than the dead reanimated."
"Oooh, like the Risen?"
"….pardon?"
"Never mind, never mind. So how about you explain what's going on, love?"
Azura sighed, and Anna sat down on a rock, looking around at the shiny crystals. Are they worth anything? Looks like…..40 gold per ounce?
"Anna….this is not Hoshido, nor is it Nohr. This is a place called…..Valla. It….exists in a separate dimension than the rest of the world. I am the only person who knows of its location. And right now-"
No no, it's too brittle. 30 at the most! That's the lesson Stripes taught me before she went off to Ylisse. Speaking of Stripes, I'm soooo glad I escaped the Anna family curse! No incest bandit twins to give me a headache!
"-the two countries will go to war very soon….this all started when-"
Hey, that looks valuable too! Let me just….!
"-so that's why we should….Anna, are you listening?"
Said not listening girl was busy stuffing things in the cave in her (secretly) endless bag. "Huh? Oh yeah yeah, Garon's Satan or something like that….."
"….."
"Hold the phone!"
Azura gasped when Anna began to pull at her cheeks.
"Hmmm…..maybe….."
"W-What are you doing?"
"Don't worry, Azura, I've read novels that start off in much trashier ways…..hmm….nope! You're not it, sadly."
"Not…..what?"
The Hero of the Emblem.
"Not important. I was looking for someone in my travels, but they're a low priority. So! When can we leave?"
"I'll take you to the access point I use from Hoshido." Azura explained. "You understand what happens now, right?"
Anna zipped up her bag. "Hmm, what?"
"You cannot mention Valla, the Invisible Kingdom, to anyone. You cannot write it down. You…will fade into nonexistence if you do."
"…..okay, it's scaring me that you were more unnerved when I was touching you."
"Such is the curse I must bear." Azura closed her eyes.
"Well there's nothing but evil zombies, it can't be that fun to hang out here anyways. Why do you come here?"
"…..weren't you listening?"
Quick lie to her face!
"Of course I wasn't!
"…"
"…."
"I….was supposed to think that, wasn't I?"
"You what?"
Omozu bowed his head in forgiveness at the two elite ninja standing before him. They had been sent by the crown prince to check on the fort.
"I am sorry, but we've searched all over. The girl…..she escaped!"
The 5th Saizo growled under his mask.
"You mean to tell me a Nohrian slipped into our borders? That is completely unacceptable. What kind of guards are you?"
All of the samurai bowed their heads and reached for their swords.
"Uh, let's not go that far." Kagero said, shaking her head. "There's still a chance to fix this. What does the intruder look like?"
"Red hair, pony tail….has a bow….she's quite the trickster." Omozu said. "I did not get her name, unfortunately…."
Saizo and Kagero nodded at each other, and promptly vanished. 'Cuz they're ninjas. And ninjas are cool.
Believe it.
"Here we are."
"Azura?"
"Yes, Anna?"
The merchant grabbed Azura's slender frame and dangled her over the large abyss the two were standing over.
"Describe to me what's down below."
"Nothing. We must jump."
"Okay, you've finally reached a 10 on my batshit crazy meter. I'm not jumping down! Do you want me break my pretty face?"
And body and bones and skin and-
"But it's the only way." Azura said, still dangling and still unfazed. "Without my help, you are stuck here."
"…"
Anna released the girl.
"So….what happens after this?"
"If you want…I could take you to the palace in Hoshido's capital."
The sound of a cash register was ringing in Anna's ears.
"….but if you say you outfoxed Omozu, it's possible the report was picked up by others. It could be dangerous for you to move into the country now."
"Hun, a jar of mustard could trick that guy. Just take me to the busiest place ya got!"
"…..okay. Good luck, Anna."
"Good luck for what-"
Anna noticed she had slipped off the ledge again.
FOR THE LOVE OF-
"Hmmm…."
"W-Well? How does it look?"
Currently in the castle town of Hoshido, the busiest area in the whole country, a young girl was nervously awaiting the judgement from the man before her.
"Hmmm…"
Her mother led the farm, but she always put in a hand to help out. Their village was small, and a little destitute. But the girl was always able to get some success selling their crops in town.
"Well, this corn looks like good. Not so sure about the onions. 600 gold per pound."
"What?" Mozu gasped. "But it was 750 last week!"
"I'm sorry, girlie, but everyone grows onions."
"But it has my family's secret fertilizer! We start by-"
"Did not want to hear your life story, girlie." The buyer said, wrapping up the corn. "I'd said I'd take it, right? Either it's 600 or you go home penniless."
Mozu sighed.
"Well….okay. Mother will understand….right?"
"….."
"….."
"W-was that a rhetorical question or….?"
Mozu shot him a look and snatched the sack of gold. She lived modestly and worked hard, but lately, it seemed like her family's farm was making less and less each month.
And I walked all this way…..
The raindrops pattered on the ground.
….without my umbrella….
Anna opened her eyes again, and this time, she was near a lake with a bridge. Azura looked down at her.
"Are you okay?"
"Azura, you're not going to give me CPR, are you? Because that was the segue for the climactic scene in How To Make Her Yours…."
"…..you're quite odd, Anna."
Anna sat up and dusted herself off….again. She adjusted her cloak, putting the hood up to block the pouring rain.
"I'm odd? You can't be serious. ….so which way is the castle town?"
Azura looked hesitant.
"Do you promise to not reveal what you've learned today?"
All I learned is that there's some crazy kingdom, you may or may not be hot for me – not that I'd blame you – and it's so easy to fool people in this world.
"Sure, sure! Now come on….before the day is wasted!"
"Very well. I'll point you in the right direction. I'll try to clear the air when I return home."
"How?"
"Anna, did you listen to anything I said?"
Quick lie to her face!
"You have pretty eyes."
….stupid, that's not a lie!
"…thank you?"
"Step right up, step right up! Only 100 gold to read your fortune!"
If there one thing Orochi the diviner enjoyed, it was her craft. For years her family had served the royal family well with their readings, even if they sometimes were wrong.
"Don't let the gloomy rain keep you down! Let fate smile on you!" She shouted, waving a fan to draw attention. "Any takers?"
"U-Um…I will…."
"Oh my!"
Orochi looked sympathetically at Mozu, who was getting soaked now.
"Honey, where's your umbrella? Or other type of rain protection?"
"I….left it at home…..please read my fortune, ma'am. I'm having a lousy day." Mozu said, looking at the ground.
"Hmmm…." Orochi put the fan down. "I'll tell you what! For today only, I'll take you free of charge! Now please, sit right here." She pulled the girl onto the chair adjacent to hers, under the tent's flap.
"Okay…."
"Hmmm….."
Orochi put two fingers to Mozu's palm, and lit a candle, closing her eyes.
"I see…..yes, yes! I see a red-haired woman…..and she's saying…that she wants to help your…..money woes….?"
"W-What?!"
"Oh yes…..this woman will be the key! The key to a good fortune! And the two of you….will even…..*gasp* meet a famous person!"
"That's…..!"
"Yep, yep, yep." Orochi opened her eyes and smiled. "This woman….her name has four letters, just like yours!"
"Wow! …..uh actually, ma'am, I was born Mozume. But everyone calls me Mozu because-"
"Sssh! Don't backtalk Fate, darling! It has a special destiny in store for you…."
"Really?"
Mozu never considered herself to be anything but ordinary. But…..just the thought...of her, finding fortune….made her blush and smile.
"There we are! There's that smile! That'll be 50 gold."
"B-But you said it was free…."
"Heheheh, well I just realized I owe a friend of mine some…."
"So you say a red-haired Nohrian…..?"
"Yes, milord."
Saizo and Kagero both bowed their heads to their master, the eldest son of the late King Sumeragi, who carried the divine blade Raijinto.
"…..understood. I'll sent out some soldiers to comb the countryside. And I'll warn Mother and Yukimura immediately."
"I'll catch her as soon as possible." Saizo said. "Before nightfall."
"Saizo….." Kagero shook her head. "This isn't something you can rush. We have to be alert, but patient. This intruder could've hid in a number of locations already."
"She's right." Ryoma said. "Luckily, we have the best of Hoshido's forces on our side. We will not fail!"
"Yes, Lord Ryoma!" The two said in unison.
The rain was still coming down when Anna arrived in the castle town. To her dismay, some shops were already closing for the day.
"Awww…..damn it!"
She quickly ran over to one.
"Hey, mister….closing so soon?"
"Sorry, miss. It's been a slow day."
"Slow day? What do you sell?"
"Oh, this is a tax collection agency. We report to the Queen herself!"
Anna hissed and jumped back from the stand. "I've heard about people like you…you're no better than leeches, sucking away the wealth from the masses! You make me sick!"
"…..h-huh? But we only tax those who make over a certain amount!"
"BEGONE, SCUM!" Anna shouted, turning away in a huff. If there was one thing her older sister (who met the twins Eirika and Ephraim) taught her, it was that tax collectors were basically the devil.
Maybe this one is a mole for King Garon…..!
"Ooof!"
"Ow!"
Mozu rubbed her head and looked up at the woman she had bumped into.
"I'm sorry, miss, I didn't…."
"…."
"…."
"…you alive in there?" Anna asked.
The red-haired woman…the diviner….!
Mozu stood up and stared intently at the merchant. Her cloak was brown, her top white, her eyes bright, and the red hair as rich and crimson as a certain Cheve wyvern rider.
The farm girl looked happy. Her target did not.
That's it, I'm keeping a tally! So far the scale on the Scared Sexy Scale is Girls 2, Boys 0!
"Could you stop looking at me like that? I mean, you can, but it'll cost ya!"
"I'm s-sorry, ma'am! I….oh…." Mozu rubbed her head. "I'm Mozu…..don't suppose you'd be willing to tell me your name?"
"Oh that's easy!"
Anna did her family's trademark pose.
"My name's Anna!"
FIN
Ending notes: Too fast? Pfft!
Mozu is definitely going to be one of the main characters of this fic...'cause she's awesome. Sadly there's a four character limit on the story labeling, but definitely look forward to seeing who's part of the set.
Next Time - Stripes:Donnel, Ace:Mozu.