Authors note: Sadly I own nothing of the Harry Potter realm...*Sigh* All contents, save the plot, belong to the lovely J.K. Rowling.

Chapter 2 - Beautiful Disaster

'What is with him?!' Whenever I approached Draco to talk to him about the kiss, he turned and ran the other way. I simply wanted to ask him why he'd done it... And why he'd ran away afterwards.

I was sitting in the library when it hit me. He was toying with me! His specialty was mind games. His favorite object of mind games? Me.

But then... Why did I feel a spark of attraction coming from us both?

He drowns in his dreams
An exquisite extreme I know
He's as damned as he seems
And more heaven than a heart could hold
And if I try to save him
My whole world would cave in
It just ain't right
It just ain't right

I walked into the Common Room just in time to see Draco over turn the coffee table again.

"Malfoy!" He whipped around and stared at me. "What's wrong?" I said gently. He watched me apprehensivly as I walked towards him and sat on the couch, patting the seat next to me. He slowly sat down. "What's wrong?" I repeated.

"I'm fine." He snapped immediatly.

"Fine... Fucked-up, insecure, neurotic, and emotional. Right?" Malfoy smirked.

"Something like that." I took a deep breath.

"Why did you do it?" I finally blurted out.

"Do what?" He asked, quirking an eyebrow.

"You know what! The kiss! Why?!"

"I... I really don't know."

"Don't give me that bull, Malfoy!" He stood up angrily and paced in front of me a few times then stopped and glared at me.

"I don't fucking know why!" He took a deep breath. And said something that he seemed to not want to say. "I have anger issues ok? It makes me impulsive."

"So that's why you did it? Because you have anger issues?!"

"Yes! And I ran away because... I realized what I had done..."

"You are so full of shit, Draco Malfoy."

"It's true! Most of the time, when I'm angry, human contact calms me down."

"Did it help?" I said quietly.

"What?"

"Did it help? Kissing me. Did it do anything?!" Malfoy was quiet for a few moments. I sighed angrily and went to get up.

"It helped more than anything I've ever done." He said as I reached my bedroom door. I turned around and stared at him. "When our lips touched," He paused, wondering how to continue. "It was like everything just disappeared. Everything that angered me... was gone. My whole body relaxed. And for once... I felt calm." He was gazing at the floor as he said this but when he finished he looked up at find a shocked look on my face. He turned pink with embarrassment and ran for his room.

Oh and I don't know
I don't know what he's after
But he's so beautiful
He's such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster

'And for once... I felt calm... calm.' His words were replaying over and over in me head. How could I, a mudblood Gryffindor know-it-all, have that effect on the pureblood Slytherin prince? It just didn't make sense. I tried to brush it off for the next week, but his words kept popping in to my head. He didn't look like he had been lying. In fact, he looked like he hadn't wanted to tell me that. Then again, he could just be a very good actor. But was he? Or was he really telling the truth?

"URGH!" I slammed my book shut in frustration. I had been trying to study but I realized it was no use. The more I tried to ignore it, the more his words assulted my brain. I sat back against the couch and closed my eyes, clearing my mind of everything but his words.

'And for once... I felt calm' He certainly seemed calm when they had kissed. 'My whole body relaxed' I knew that was true. I had felt it. Slowly I went through everything he had said. 'It calmed me completely. Nothing has ever been able to do that' It had seemed to calm him. I had seen him in a fit of anger. He punched things. Until his hands were bloody. That seemed to help but a few hours later he was right back at it. 'It was like everything just disappeared' That's how I had felt. Was he playing off of my emotions somehow? Or had it really had that effect on him as well? 'Everything that angered me... was gone. My whole body relaxed. And for once... I felt calm.' I sighed and opened my eyes. I had made my decision.


He's magic and myth
As strong as what I believe
A tragedy with
More damage than a soul should see
But do I try to change him
So hard not to blame him
Hold me tight
Hold me tight

Another week passed before I was able to act on my decision. Friday after class, the day before chirstmas holidays were due to start, I entered the Common room to see Malfoy furiously punching the wall. I went over to him quietly and laid a hand on his shoulder. His arms dropped to his sides and his tense shoulders relaxed. He turned around slowly to face me.

"You need to stop," I said glancing at his hands. I led him over to the couch and healed his knuckles.

"Thanks." He whispered. Taking a deep breath, I expiremented. I tilted my face up to meet his and slowly brushed my lips against his. I felt him relax more and I pressed my lips firmly against his. Draco sighed in relief and kissed me back gently. He tilted his head and deepened the kiss, exploring my mouth with his tounge. There was a knock on the portrait and we jumped apart.

"Hermione?" came Harry's voice through the portrait.

"Coming!" I quickly pressed a kiss against his forehead as I got up. "You'll be ok, Draco." I whispered to him. He looked disbelieving as he got up and went to his room.

"Hey Harry," I said pulling the portrait open.

"Hey, Ron and I wanted to know if you would like to come to the burrow for christmas with us." He asked.

"Ya, I'd love to. My parents are going to Rome for the holidays."

"Great. Meet us in the entrance hall in the morning."

"Ok." Harry turned around and left. I sat in the Common Room for another few hours, hoping Draco would come down. I finally gave up and went to bed.

Oh and I don't know
I don't know what he's after
But he's so beautiful
He's such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster

Harry, Ron, Ginny and I arrived at the Burrow to delicous smells. Molly was cooking. Ginny dragged me up to her room.

"Ok, spill." Ginny said as soon as we entered the small bedroom that we shared.

"Spill, what?"

"Oh, please. You were totally quiet on the train. Completely lost in thought!" Ginny said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "What were you so deep in thought about?" I sighed and collapsed on my mattress.

"You have to swear to me that you won't tell anyone!" I said seriously, sitting up.

"Cross my heart and hope to die." Ginny jumped off her bed and sat in front of me.

"Well, there's this boy." Ginny squealed.

"What's his name?!"

"I'm not telling until I explain everything." Ginny nodded and listened intently as I continued. "I walked in on him in a terrible fit of anger. He was overturning tables. He turned around and saw me and got this weird look on his face. He practically ran over to me and pushed me against the wall. He kissed me. And then turned and ran." I frowned remembering what had happened. "A few weeks later, I finally confronted him about it. He told me that he has anger problems and that human contact calms him down. Kissing me, calmed him down more than anything else ever has. He has really bad anger problems... Like he'll punch walls until his hands are dripping blood. But he told me that when he kissed me his entire body relaxed and everything that was making him angry completely disappeared. We ended up making out for a few minutes until Harry interupted. Before I talked to Harry, I told that he would be ok and he got a really disbeliving look on his face. What I was thinking about on the way here, is what's happening that could make him have such bad anger problems."

"Maybe the fact that his father is a Death Eater. Hermione, how could you get involved with Draco Malfoy of all people!" Ginny said, correctly guessing who I was talking about.

"Gin, I really think there's more to him than just being a spoiled brat."

"Yes, there is more to him. He's a Death Eater in training!"

"I really don't think so." Ginny sighed and gave up.

I'm longing for love and the logical
But he's only happy, hysterical
I'm searching for some kind of miracle
Waited so long
Waited So long.

"So how's school going? I heard you got Head Girl, congratulations!" Remus Lupin said, running a hand through his greying blonde hair.

"Ya, I did. It's a lot of work. School's going good. Top of my class as always." I replied with a chuckle.

"That's good. What are you thinking of doing after Hogwarts?"

"I'm thinking either and Auror with Harry and Ron, or maybe a Healer at St. Mungo's."

"Well, I'm sure you'll be the best at whatever you decide to pursue. Excuse me, I'm going to find Tonks." Remus stood up and walked away. I sighed and propped my feet up on the coffee table. Christmas was always a busy time of year at the Burrow. This year it seemed even more busy. Everyone had invited their significant other. Molly and Arthur. Bill and his wife Fleur. Charlie and his girlfriend Melissa. Fred and Angelina. George and Natalie. Ron and, urgh, Lavender. Harry and Ginny. Remus and Tonks. Me and... No one. I slipped away to my shared bedroom and pulled out my wand. I had been practicing this spell for days and had finally perfected it. You simply thought only of who you wanted to see and it would project you image to them. The cool thing was that your form was solid and you felt whatever happened. Also, only that person could see you. I shut, locked and soundproofed the door, though I doubted and one would come up here. I thought only about Draco. His platinum blonde hair. Icy grey eyes. His personality. How it felt to kiss him. I quickly tapped myself on the head three times and suddenly I was in Malfoy Manor.

Draco sat in front of a desk, scribbling furiously on a peice of parchment. I walked over and set a hand on his shoulder. He stopped scribbling instantly and seemed to melt. Just as quickly he jumped out his chair and whirled around staring at me in disbeleif.

"Are you insane?" He whispered furiously. He flicked his wand at the door, locking and soundproofing it. "Do you have any idea what would happen if someone found you here?!"

"Draco, calm down." I touched his wrist and he did just that. "Only you can see me. I'm not really here. I'm just a projection."

"But... Your solid."

"I know. Isn't it cool? I learned a new spell. I... I just wanted to see you. Wish you a Happy Christmas. And I wasn't sure if I could send you an Owl without your father receiving it."

"Well, it's a good thing you didn't. Every owl sent here is first delivered to my father."

"I'll remember that." Draco walked over to his bed and sat against the pillows, patting the spot next to him. I crossed the room and sat next to him. "How are you doing? Are you ok?" Draco shrugged. I looked down and saw dry blood on his knuckles. I picked his hands up and healed them quickly. "Obviously not."

"It's nothing I can't handle. I've been dealing with it for my whole life."

"Draco... What is it that makes you so angry?"

"My father." He replied shortly.

"What about him?"

"Nothing." I wrapped her arms around his waist and felt him flinch as my hand brushed his stomach. Glancing up at him, I saw that his face showed pain. I slowly lifted up his shirt to reveal a large bruise on the left side of his stomach.

"Did he do this?" I asked staring at it. I looked up at him to see his lips pressed together. He wouldn't look at me. "Draco. Did your father do this?" Slowly he nodded. "Why?" I whispered.

"Because I told him that Hogwarts was better than this hell hole." He lifted up his pants leg and there was a large purple bruise there as well. "That was when I told him I didn't want to be a Death Eater. That's just what's left." I felt tears come to my eyes and I quickly healed his bruises.

"You should go to the Order."

"For what? So my father can kill me? Or worse my mother? I don't think so." He shook his head quickly.

"The Order can help you. And your mother. They could get you out. You wouldn't have to deal with all of this."

"There's nothing that the Order could do. My father would find me." I sighed.

"At least think about it." Draco stared at me for a few moments then nodded. I smiled softly and reached up to kiss him. Draco quickly deepened the kiss and I slid my hand up the back of his shirt, feeling him shiver.

'This is right.' I thought. 'So right.' Draco slowly pulled my shirt off to expose my lacy black bra. He slid on top of me and flicked my bra open. He pulled it off and tossed it on the floor with my shirt. I unbuttoned his green silk shirt, eager to feel the muscles underneath. Quidditch had really done some good work. I reminded myself to get more interested in it later. I knew what this was leading too. It was something I had never done but I felt certain that it was right. Thier jeans and underwear quickly followed their shirts and soon they were naked under Draco's blankets. He pulled back for the first time since we'd started.

"Have you ever...?" I shook my head, shyly. "Are you sure about this?"

"Yes. This is right. I can feel it." Draco nodded.

"Me too. This is going to hurt. Probably a lot. But I'll go slow, alright?" I bit her lip and nodded. He positioned himself at my entrance and slowly eased inside me, stopping when he felt resistance. He grabbed my hands and I squeezed them tightly. In one swift motion he pushed through the barrier and I cried out in pain. Merlin, it hurt! Draco kissed my cheek, forehead, neck and lips. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He murmered in my ear. "Just tell me when your ready." After a few seconds my body adjusted and I nodded. He started slowly, afraid to hurt me, letting my body get used to the feeling of him. When I started emitting sounds of pleasure, he picked up the pace. Soon, I felt a growing pressure in my lower abdomen. It slowly got bigger and bigger. Suddenly, my world exploded and I cried out.

"Draco!"

"'Mione..." Draco moaned. He lowered himself down and rested on top of me. After a few moments, he gazed down at me and smiled. Actually smiled. I'd never really seen him smile. I quite liked it. He kissed me on the forehead and rolled off of me.

He's soft to the touch
But frayed at the end he breaks
He's never enough
And still he's more than I can take
Oh and I don't know
I don't know what he's after
But he's so beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster

I couldn't wait to go back to school! I had seen Draco at least every other day during break. But at the back of my mind I always knew that I wasn't completely with him. More than once, I'd had to pull out of the spell quickly because Ginny had come into the room. But once they were at school, nothing would get in the way when we were together. Except maybe classes. I knew that we wouldn't be able to be seen together. Draco didn't want his father finding out and put me in danger. But we could spend our nights together. And I was desperatly looking forward to that.

He's beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster

***********

Song: Beautiful Disaster by Kelly Clarkson