Chapter 2: Life is Suffering
A/N: This chapter is rated a strong "T" for language and some disturbing material.
Rogue spent over a week sleeping in the various parks in Uptown Manhattan. She especially liked St. Nicholas Park, not only because it was named after Santa, but because of the beautiful old house on the park's northern border. It had belonged to Alexander Hamilton, who Anna vaguely remembered to have been one of the founding fathers or something. Whatever the historical significance of it, she liked the look of the place. It was painted a warm cream color, there were three stories, plenty of columns and a deck wrapping around the second story. It reminded her of the grand old plantations back home, just in miniature. It was a little slice of the South in Manhattan.
But all around her were reminders that she was not in the South and that she was not a normal girl anymore. The park, like those back home, were filled with happy families, young couples strolling hand in hand, and the elderly observing the world with nostalgia in their eyes. Anna had once been a part of one of those happy families, gazed upon the happy couples with anticipation of her first relationship, and received bittersweet smiles from the old women slumped over on the bench. Now, she felt like an observer. She was removed from it all, no longer a part of the human world. She watched it all, attempting to be detached.
On a sunny autumn afternoon Anna splurged on a Big Mac and sat by the basketball courts in St. Nicolas Park. Half a dozen teen boys were playing a pick-up game. Sweaty, athletic teenage boys. Shirts versus skins. 'Yummy.' Anna laughed at herself. 'Ah might be a thirteen-year-old runaway with toxic skin, but Ah'm still a girl with raging hormones.' One of the boys, who looked a year or two older than Anna, turned around and looked at her. He had angelic features and mahogany skin. He gave her a quick wink and went back to playing. 'Really raging hormones.'
Anna leaned against the chain-link fence surrounding the court and stared at the mahogany god. She was transfixed by the boy, filled with girlish desire and deep sorrow. 'Ah could never touch him. Never.' Anna inhaled quickly, attempting to head off any tears or emotional outbursts. 'Stop it, you're Rogue, ya don't need anyone. Anyone to help you, anyone to touch.' The boy scored a three pointer and his face lit up. He glanced at her again, making her feel a few butterflies in her stomach. 'Still, it can't hurt ta watch,' she thought as the game got more heated.
She was distracted by the boy and didn't notice that the ball was heading toward her. *crash* Anna jumped back, realizing that if it had not been for the fence, the ball would have hit her in the face. 'Do ya really think ya can survive out here when yur reflexes are that bad?' Asked the Officer Kerrigan, the cop she'd touched in Montgomery. She angrily pushed him to the back of her head as another boy ran over to pick up the ball.
Anna's jaw almost dropped. She had thought her little mahogany god was cute, but this guy was the most incredible looking guy she'd ever seen. He looked to be about seventeen, he was tall, slender, yet athletic. He had a mop of beautiful brown hair, chiseled features and his luscious lips were pulled into a smirk. He wore sunglasses, but she had the feeling that behind those shades were the most amazing eyes she would ever see. He grabbed the ball and looked over at her with a smile.
"Sorry 'bout dat, petit."
'Holy hell, and he's Southern!' Anna's eyes felt like they were about to burst out of her head. 'Say something, girl, don't gawk like an idiot!'
"Ma fault. Should'a been paying closer attention to y'all."
"One of us, at least." He said with a smirk.
Anna was sure that she turned bright red. All she could do was smile back.
"Hey, throw the ball already!" Yelled one of the other boys, breaking her out of her revelry.
The Southern boy threw the ball back towards the court and started walking back to the game.
"Hey!" Anna yelled at the boy, surprising even herself. "Are ya Cajun?"
He turned and looked at her as he walked. "Oui, petit. N'Awleans born and bred."
"Ah thought so."
Anna sat back and watched the boys play. She smiled to herself, 'That was probably the longest conversation Ah've had since Ah ran away. And the best.'
Anna never really got the hang of sleeping in the park. She was terrified that in the middle of the night someone would attack her sleeping form. She might be able to defend herself if they only came at her with her bare hands, but she could still be stabbed or shot, and there was the ever present possibility that her meager possessions would be stolen. So she took short naps during the day and early evening, trying to stay awake during the hours she figured would be most dangerous.
It was twilight and the autumn air was cold as she slumbered on a bench with her arms wrapped tight around her duffle bag. She dreamed of the cute Cajun, who she'd seen twice since their first introduction on the basketball court. The first time he was clearly walking home from another basketball game just as the sun had set and night was falling. He was glistening with sweat, making his physique even more alluring, and was wearing his sunglasses. 'Who wears sunglasses when the sun has already gone down?' She asked herself. 'Maybe he's trying ta keep track of the visions in his eyes.' She giggled to herself. The other time he was walking with a friend, a big, muscular man with black hair. This time, he'd noticed her, and smirked as he sauntered up.
"'ello, petit."
"H-hi." She nervously stammered.
She could have sworn she saw him wink at her from behind his sunglasses, but he kept on walking with his friend.
In her dream the Cajun's eyes were brown and she had no fear of touching him. He stepped off the basketball court, as ruggedly handsome as ever and reached out to her. He took her in his arms, gazed into her eyes, and leaned down to kiss her. Before their lips touched she was awakened by a strange sensation. Attempting to rouse herself with a yawn, she realized that her mouth was being covered by a hand forcefully clapped onto her face. Her eyes shot open in horror to find a grubby looking, middle-aged man with black shaggy hair and a sadistic look in his dark eyes on top of her. She tried to scream, but no sound came out. She cursed the fact that the one time she needed her powers that they were rendered useless by the man's gloves.
"Now don't try anything." Said the man, with a gravelly voice.
Tears were falling down her cheek and despite her ability to perfectly comprehend what was happening, she was too panicked to do anything to free herself. The man ground his body into hers as he gave off a grown. 'Why isn't someone helping me?' She screamed in her head as the man forced a piece of cloth in her mouth, effectively gagging her. In her mind she could feel Cody panic as well, making her even more terrified. The cop from Montgomery was more helpful. 'Try an' knee 'em in the groin or stick yur thumbs in his eyes! Now, gal! Don't let 'em hurt ya!' But the man's weight was fully on her legs and he managed to grab her hands as she attempted to hit him.
The man took both of her wrists in one of his hands and leered at her with a look that make her sick in her own mouth. She could feel his acrid breath on her face, making her skin crawl. Her entire body tensed and she began to sob in earnest as she heard the sound of pants being unzipped. He gave her a demented smile and whispered, "Aren't you a pretty little thing? Be a good little girl, 'cause if you don't stop fighting me, I'll have to hurt you."
"FUCK YOU!" she attempted to scream, but it only came out as a muffled grunt. Her panic had subsided, and in its wake was pure, unfettered rage. She glared at him with unflinching, hate-filled eyes as she felt him feel inside her pants. She willed her body to go numb, not wanting to experience what she knew was coming. His face inched closer to hers, and once it was an inch away she strained her neck upwards, touching his cheek with hers.
She immediately felt the pull from the man, but he jolted up in surprise before he was rendered unconscious. In his shock, he had let go of her wrists. 'Stupid move, asshole,' she thought as she quickly tore off one of her gloves and thrust her bare hand to his throat. He was still too shocked from the initial contact to fight back, and within seconds his eyes rolled back and he slipped out of consciousness and fell onto the ground. Still she hung on, digging her nails into his throat, even as his mind poured into her. Finally, she let go, but his mind was so loud in hers that she couldn't move. His perverted lust and disgusting fantasies bounced around her head. She could only stare at his body in anger and revulsion. Then she started to kick his comatose form as tears ran down her cheeks.
In the corner of her mind, she realized that there were sounds of movement around her. She ceased kicking him, but looked with satisfaction as she saw blood seeping from his head. 'Run, girl!' yelled Cody. She bolted at her friend's command, running as fast as she could away from the people who had come to investigate the commotion. 'It was self-defense, gurl. Don't go runnin' away from a crime scene.' Advised the Officer Kerrigan, but she ignored him. 'It don't matter that I ain't done nothin' wrong, they'd hate me for what Ah am.'
Anna fought against the new voice in her head and stumbled to a cluster of bushes that she knew to have a little cave where she could see but not be seen. She crawled in and pulled her knees to her head. 'Oh god, what just happened?' She cried silently to herself as the attacker's voice raged in her head. 'A 261A is whut jus' happened,' replied the cop's voice. Images of the attacker's life and his intentions flashed in her mind, making her physically ill. She fought back her nausea as she fought back the mind of the would-be rapist, Roger.
For the first time, Anna was happy that she had absorbed Cody and Officer Kerrigan. Despite their irritation about being absorbed, they both wanted to help her, unlike the new voice in her head. Roger yelled and screamed unspeakable things in her head. The voices of Cody and the cop did their best to quiet him down, threatening the pervert and drowning his sadistic voice with their concerned statements.
'You filthy mutie bitch, I outta—'
'Leave her alone!' Cried Cody.
'If ya'll were in ma precinct Ah'd beat the shit out, ya disgusting pedophile!' Threatened Officer Kerrigan.
After many hours of pushing Roger's voice to the recesses of her mind, he finally was quiet enough for her to think. 'Thank ya both,' she thought to Cody and the cop. 'Don't be bothered be him none,' replied Cody, 'ya just leave him with us.' Anna was comforted by her friend's soothing words, but the momentary sense of calm soon disappeared once she realized that she had to get out of the area, and no idea how to get out of the park unseen. She was sure that news of her confrontation with Roger would have gotten around by now. The other homeless people in the area, who had been benign to her so far, might try and turn her in to the cops, attack her, or run her out of town. From the bits of Roger's mind that weren't concerned with putrid acts of sex and violence, she gathered that he had been on the streets a while and had a few friends who were as crazy as he was.
'Back to Penn Station,' she thought. She stretched a little and prepared to leave her little cave in the bushes until – 'Oh no! Where's my bag?' She realized that she must have run away from the attack without it. 'Shit, shit, shit! All my clothes, my other pair of shoes, everything.' Tears started welling in her eyes, but she fought them back. 'No, Ah got bigger problems. At least Ah still have ma money.' She was glad that she at least had the good sense to put the few dollar bills that she had in her shoe. 'Get it together Rogue, just walk outta the park quickly and calmly and make it to the subway station and yur home free.' She cautiously peaked out of the bushes, and when she knew no one was looking, she crawled out.
Anna didn't know how long she had been in the bushes, but it was obviously a long time since the sun was now out and a few people were milling around the park. She glanced around her, trying not to look suspicious. 'Maybe that's why the Cajun wears those sunglasses all the time, to hide his shifty eyes.' At the thought of the Cajun she smiled for the first time since the attack. She figured that he had only come to her mind because she was walking towards the basketball courts on her way out of the park. She ignored the few boys who were playing basketball, 'they ain't the ones Ah need ta be worried 'bout,' and kept her eyes out for any homeless people or cops.
She was past the basketball courts and almost to the street when she heard someone running up to her. Adrenaline surged through her body and she took off her right glove, ready to fend herself from yet another attack.
"Petit!" Anna spun around and saw the Cajun jogging up to her.
'Oh god, what does he want?' She was still panicked, but she blushed at the cute boy nonetheless.
"H—hi." She stammered. 'Damn girl, can't ya say 'Hi' to him once without sounding like a moron?' She chided herself.
He stopped a foot in front of her, way too close for her comfort, but she knew that backing away would look suspicious. She gazed at him, and his gorgeous features took her breath away. His face, normally smugly handsome, portrayed something different today. His furrowed brow and slight smile showed concern, a look that Anna had grown unaccustomed to in her months on the street.
He leaned in to talk to her, barely more than a whisper. "Petit, I heard dat someone attacked ya. Are you okay?" He tried to put a comforting hand on her arm, but she flinched and he took it as a sign to back off.
"Where did ya hear that, sugah?" Anna asked in the calmest tone she could muster.
"Ah know some of dis park's residents, chere, and I heard from one a dem dat some shit-head attacked ya, but practically dropped dead."
'Dead? Oh shit, oh shit.' "Ah never hurt nobody." She replied, unable to keep the panic out of her voice.
The Cajun looked at her, still concerned, and gently said "Well, someone tried to hurt you. He's still alive, petit, an' dere ain't nobody who could blame ya, even if ya did kill 'em."
"Yes," Anna said, on the verge of tears, "they would blame me. They would hate me fo' what Ah did . . . and for what Ah am."
The Cajun smiled at her, although Anna couldn't figure out why. "Don't worry, petit, dey only hate us 'cause de don't understand us."
"Us?" Anna whispered, slowing realizing what he meant as he pulled off his ever-present sunglasses. She had assumed his eyes to be a beautiful brown, but in fact they were mostly black with a dazzling red iris. She gasped a little as she looked in his eyes, finding them more beautiful than any brown eyes could ever be.
He smiled at her, and asked "Ya wanna meet some o' my friends, petit?"