Title: Tsuna's Ark (and Tsuna's Wife?)

Author: Iali10

Rating: T

Words: 956

Warnings: Misuse of religious text, homosexual relationships, allusions to male-pregnancy

DISCLAIMER: THIS IS A FANBASED WORK. KHR BELONGS TO ITS OWNERS AND LICENSE HOLDERS. I MAKE NO MONEY FROM THIS PIECE OF FICTION.

Summary: KHR/Noah's Ark parody. The Author is going to Hell. Not a fairy tale, but whatever. R27, one-sided 2795.

A/N: Wow, the person who's most surprised that I'm back so soon is me. But I guess seeing that I had 5 reviews, 7 faves, 4 follows, and nearly 200 views really inspired me to make another chapter.

I was thinking of all the fairy tales I could use for this chapter, but my brain just decided to throw Noah's Ark as a suggestion and viola, this was born. Sorry to any religious people this bothers. This feels really blasphemous, but I guess that goes good with my coffee *slurps* ah, tastes like eternal damnation.

Thanks guys for the reviews! You're so nice that I felt like crying, with happiness of course. I hope this doesn't disappoint.

Opalish: Thanks, I have a lot of ships too (most of them are paired with Tsuna though XD).

Orithyea: Thanks for catching my mistakes! I went back and edited the chapter. Also thanks for the compliment about my characterization. I consider the most important part of writing to be characterization, so I was so happy to hear that you thought I did a good job. Lol, I had a lot of fun writing Xanxus to be honest.

Yuu3: Thanks, I would love me some Tsuna sparkles! He's my second favorite character, though Reborn is obviously number one XD.

Random Reader: This is why I KNEW I had to have Squalo as the Prince- him and his loud mouth XD. I'll try to see if I can get Cinderella to be next!

Saruko: I'm confused. Are you asking for me to continue chapter 1, but with different characters, or you just asking me to rewrite ONLY ch.1 with diff. chara.? Either way, I'm sorry to say that I won't do either. These are just little short things for me to practice my writing and get feedback, so they won't be continued or added on to. Sorry D:.

When God first contacted Sawada Tsunayoshi for an important task, the petite man was sure God had mistaken him for someone else. After all, he was Dame-Tsuna- a wimp, a klutz, and an idiot. Just No-Good. A man no woman wanted as a husband.

In fact, he was so No-Good that the village had forced him to live all alone on top of a hill outside the village where he apparently couldn't cause any trouble. Which was mostly okay with Tsuna since it meant that people really had to go out of their way to come taunt and bully him, so it rarely happened unless he went down to the village.

But when he tried to explain this to God there was a lot of lightning and thunderous "YOU DARE QUESTION MY WILL?!" And so he was stuck building an Ark.

It was a miracle that the Dame-man didn't break any of his limbs from just looking at the tools. God quickly came to feel overworked from the sheer amount of accidents He had to prevent.

Of course, when Tsuna finally managed to work up the courage to ask what the Ark was for he tried to warn the entire village. There had predictably been a lot of laughing and some rocks were tossed at the would-be prophet; immediately the amount of bullying increased and some even tried to mess with the Ark.

These people ran into the early arrivals of animals that loitered around the incomplete ship, which included some territorial lions.

So Tsuna continued to slave away, all the while God whispered the promise that the human race would not perish; that He would send a partner to join him on the Ark. Lonely Tsuna daydreamed that it would be Sasagawa Kyouko, the only girl that had ever been nice to him and had the smile of an angel.

It disturbed him how God tended to giggle whenever he was thinking about her.

And thus dawned the day of the Flood. The animals were loaded without much trouble, though the small brunet had ran shrieking from some of the animals, and Tsuna waited at the top of the gangplank with baited breath. He watched the crest of the hill, waiting for Kyouko to appear (once again ignoring God's loud giggling).

When someone came over the hill, Tsuna beamed with a bright blush on his cheeks; he held a hand over his heart because it felt as if it was going to beat its way out of his chest. But as the person came closer he realized it wasn't his crush, and as they came closer still, he saw that it wasn't even a woman but a man.

A man with dark hair and eyes, with a devilish smirk on his handsome face, and the oddest sideburns that Tsuna had ever seen. Who looked so confident and in-control as he walked up the plank to tower over the shorter man; who radiated masculinity and darkness in a way that seemed to consume the air around him because Tsuna was suddenly finding it hard to breathe.

Had this man come to make fun of him too? Or would he just hurt him like all the others?

"Chaos," the man's dark eyes were looking the brunet over critically, "I am Reborn. God sent me to join you."

It took Tsuna an embarrassingly long time to process these words- no wonder he was called Dame- but when he did his eyes bulged and his jaw dropped. "W-What?!"

Reborn cocked an eyebrow at the other in bemusement. "Is there a problem?" His eyes were still guarded as he assessed the other.

"We're both men!" he shrieked the obvious, switching from blushing to paling and back again to blushing.

The dark haired man stared at him blankly for a moment, before his lips twitched up into a smirk and he chuckled. It seemed that Tsuna had passed whatever criteria Reborn was judging him by because the taller man smirked even wider and a glint of mischief entered his eyes. Suddenly he pinned his 'partner' to the Ark wall. "Don't worry, Dame-Tsuna."

'How does he know that nickname?!'

"Because I'm the best."

'Did he just read my mind- and the best at what?!' Tsuna was near hysterical. This wasn't funny God, please stop laughing!

An annoyed noise was made in the dominant man's throat, he could easily read how badly the petite man was reacting. Rather than talk or try to calm him down, Reborn just crushed his mouth roughly over Tsuna's slack lips. There was no hesitation or asking, he just took possession of Tsuna in a way that left the brunet's mind blank and knees weak. After a moment, he pulled away and licked his lips with relish.

Brown eyes followed the motion, and the owner of said eyes couldn't explain why his stomach did a little flutter.

Reborn smiled with teeth. "God has made the necessary adjustments for our 'partnership' to be fruitful- there's nothing to worry over."

Blinking, Tsuna took a moment to puzzle out the doublespeak even though his head was still fuzzy from the kiss. 'Partnership' could be 'relationship' or perhaps 'marriage,' and for it to be fruitful would mean….

"HIIEEEEEEE?!"

Ignoring the fuss, Reborn dragged his squealing Tuna to an empty room to demonstrate said claim. The 'demonstration' was so distracting that Tsuna was unaware when more people boarded and prepared the Ark to sail, or even when it started to rain.

But forty days later he limped out with the other survivors and animals to repopulate the Earth.

In the end, Reborn was right; God had made the necessary adjustments. And Tsuna made sure to curse God every day for the next nine months.

A/N: So, was this good, or worse than before? I could have sworn this was going to be under 500 words when I thought it up, but it nearly hit 1k, and the author notes pushed it over that.

I hope the joke of mpreg didn't put too many of you off XD. I also included other survivors so no one would feel like asking 'why did you let so-and-so die?' This way, if there is someone in the KHR world that you just don't want to die in the flood you can imagine them being in this group.

This chapter had more romance than the previous, but hopefully it was still funny enough. Anyways, please keep reviewing!