Author's Note

SURPRISE

UPDATE

BEFORE A MONTH i think its only been like 2 weeks? O_O thats a record... but get use to it XO cuz well... like... school hasnt killed me yet i've had alot of extra time so far

WARNING: OOC (i think...) but u know thats my opinion... i made... *just read LOL

oh yeah thank you for all the reviews/follows/favorites w its breaking records in my book w/ my fail fics LOL :O

i will rewards u all w/ smut... later i acutally wanna develop the plot on this one LOL

Let's Pretend

Ralph Waldo Emerson- "What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us."

Akashi held the boy in his arms close towards him as if he was making sure that this was reality and not a dream, not some fantasy. He wanted to be certain in that the bluenette in his arms was not a pigment of his imagination.

He felt a tug on his shirt; slowly the duo fell into the covers, never breaking their embrace. The red haired teen sucked in a deep breath, inhaling the intoxicating scent of the younger teen. Silently, he pulled the boy closer, light blue locks slightly tickling the visage of the elder teen. He smiled in contentment as he allowed his eyes to flutter shut.

He remembered… he remembered the very first time he saw the boy named Kuroko Tetsuya. One would call it love at first sight.

Another would call it curiosity at first sight.

To be frank, the elder teen didn't know what he felt. He could only describe it as an unexplainable attraction towards the paler teen.

On the nights that he had felt truly alone, trembling in the dark, it was the memory for their meeting that kept sane.

On the nights that he had felt truly content, it was the memory that brought back a flood of joy that left him on a high for days.

Tonight was no different.

He recalled, recalled their first meeting, vivid as day, the memories poured back into the mind of the elder teen.

The captain of the Teiko basketball team quietly strolled into the occupied gym, accompanied by the members of the Generation of Miracles; he laid eyes on the short, pale boy playing against their ace.

Heterochromatic eyes widened at the sight of the boy in motion. His heart raced, pondered against his chest for an unknown reason. His throat felt unusually dry as he found difficult to calm the flush rising to his face.

An inexplicable attraction, a curiosity border lining obsession. All at first sight.

A difficult, not impossible task, Akashi willed his body to follow his mind as he hid this clash with emotion rather expertly. Calmly, void of any emotions, he approached the duo. "Who is this?" the red haired teen said.

"Ah…uh um… this is Tetsuya Kuroko" The tanned teen in front answered.

"I see…." Heterochromatic eyes flickered in thought. "He has something very special, a talent that is different from all of us"

And so they practiced, developed Kuroko's talent to no end, made it multiply and reach its potential in the Teiko basketball team.

And through basketball, the two bonded, closer than the red haired teen would've normally allowed…

"Akashi-kun" a voice called out suddenly, just as the red haired went to put on his t-shirt.

Shit. He mentally cursed. I could've sworn there was no one in here. Bicolored eyes flickered towards icy blue ones, staring intently into his soul.

"Akashi-kun" the same voice called out again. Flustered for the first time in his life, Akashi scrambled to cover his wounds with his shirt. Quickly, he turned around, clutching the shirt tightly, back pressed against the cold metal lockers.

For the first time the shadow's life he saw fear in the captain eyes. His heart softened immediately as he took steps towards the slightly quivering boy, looking rather small and defenseless compared to the normal, unforgiving, ruthless captain of Teiko. And so he reached out, hand splayed, gently, only to be slapped away by the other teen.

"Stop, Tetsuya, you didn't see anything" Akashi spat, eyes narrowing dangerously.

Kuroko opened his mouth to say something but that last glance stopped him from doing so. He swallowed nervously; the boy in front of him was putting up a façade. It was so extraordinarily obvious that this façade was for the sake of the team. Without any extra information, Kuroko connected the dots. He bit his lips slightly, contemplating his actions and words. "But Akashi-kun" he finally mustered up the courage to counter the indisputable boy.

"Shut up." It was a command. Kuroko felt his knees going weak in the presence of the strong and demanding aurora. "…" he remained silent even as he legs gave out in the stare and he fell onto the ground. Only he did not make contact with the floor. "Sorry" the elder teen whispered as he quickly caught the paralyzed boy. "I didn't mean to, but this is none of your business, so I would appreciate it if you kept this to yourself Tetsuya" the red haired teen whispered quietly as he placed the boy onto the bench. His eyes widened as he felt another gentle tug on his wrist just as he turned to leave.

"I'm not giving up until Akashi-kun tells me" Those few words stopped Akashi dead in his tracks. Even now, even after months of practice alongside the smaller boy he could not stop his heart, he could not stop his raging thoughts and most of all he could not stop his emotions, feelings that rose to the surface whenever he was in the presence of the smaller boy, whenever he was in the presence of the shadow, Akashi was on the verge of faltering. He hated it. He hated how he couldn't put up his façade in presence of the smaller boy. And yet he couldn't help but fall head over heels for the stoic teen.

"Give it up, Tetsuya" he said with his back still facing the smaller boy.

"Never."

Heterochromatic eyes snapped towards the source of defiance. "What. Did. You. Say?" he inquired, words came out as fierce as fire, his gaze burned holes into the shadow's pale and flustered visage.

"….." Kuroko sucked in a deep, painful breath before rebuilding his composure. "I said I will never give up" instinctively, the bluenette screwed his eyes shut anticipating the wrath of his indisputable captain.

Akashi chuckled at the boy's display of fear and chose to lean closer to the smaller boy's warmth.

Cerulean orbs widened as the mop of fiery red locks entered his peripheral. He gulped.

"You, obdurate fool" the elder teen whispered into the younger's ear. Hot breaths splashing against the pale skin, the shadow's breath hitched as his heart raced against his chest. "Too bad I can't hurt you…"

"…." The same cerulean orbs stared into bicolored ones intently, searching for a anything that would allow him to counter, to inquire the meaning behind those heart-felt words. "… Akashi-kun… you can trust me" his eyes pleaded. His voice reeked of concern… and so he refused to leave the struggling teen alone in midst of an unforgiving world. He absolutely refused to do so. "I'll never give up…." Tearing his eyes away from the other for a split second only to lock them back onto the elder boy, "You can trust me…"

Akashi bit his bottom lip quickly before stepping away from the paler teen. "No." he whispered.

"Why not?"

"I think you and I both know the reason" Akashi whispered. His voice a just barely above the inaudible, he turned to leave.

"…." Kuroko torn his gaze from the hair red locks and sighed, biting his bottom lip, he attempted to control his emotions. He failed. The boy's lips quivered ever so slightly as his captain, departed from the locker room without any further words. His breaths came out in ragged gasps as tears swelled up in his eyes. Screwing his eyes shut, he clutched his chest in attempt to quench the throbbing pain. It was to no avail. It hurt; it hurt to know that he was no different than the others. It hurt to know for sure that he was nothing special. And most of all, it hurt to finally have reality hit. Akashi did not have feelings for him. This love is painfully unrequited. Somehow, Kuroko managed to dry his eyes before departing from the now desolate changing room. It hurt. And yet… he wasn't even the little bit surprised.

Slowly the bluenette walked home, head hanging low from the now lifeless body. "Stop…" he whispered silently to himself as he entered the darkened apartment. Give it up. Silently, desperately the bluenette gazed out the window, staring intently at the rising moon. Give it up. Shaking his head slightly, the teen promptly flopped back onto the firm mattress that laid in his room. Kuroko looked up, stared at the blank ceiling that seemed to speak to him. "I do really mean nothing…" he whispered. "Did I ever matter? Was I just…." His voiced faded into silence as the daunting realization came to him that the ceiling will never yield him any answers. Furrowing his brows slightly, the teen brought a pale arm across his visage, groaning in an effort to chase away his trembling heart. He sighed, gnawed at his bottom lip to calm his thoughts. And so he stared at stark blankness for what seemed to be hours.

Knock knock

Instinctively, Kuroko tilted his head towards his door.

Knock knock

The bluenette slowly climbed out of his bed and walked towards the wooden door. Hesitantly, he grasped the ice cold metal door knob. Sucking in a deep breath, he calmed he emotions and once again put on a stoic mask. "Who is it?" he asked as he opened the door.

Cerulean eyes widened at the sight. His breath hitched as a body pressed against his. His heart pounded against his chest as arms wrapped around him. His body stayed in a state of shock, his mind unable to comprehend the events happening before him. "A…Akashi-kun" he stuttered out as he reluctantly patted the teen in his arms.

"I'm sorry" the elder teen whispered into the crook of the smaller boy's neck.

"Wha-what happened?" Kuroko stuttered, still unable to adjust to the shock of the moment.

"…." The taller male hesitated.

"You can tell me…" the bluenette whispered comfortingly.

"…." Akashi remained silent, no longer able to keep his emotions in check; he bit his bottom lip as his body throbbed dully of pain. He felt his body getting weaker and weaker by the moment as a tear rolled down his cheek, down his trembling visage.

Kuroko gulped as he felt wetness against the crook of his neck. "Akashi-kun…" he whispered again before breaking away from the trembling teen, slowly he brought the once stoic and composed teen into the darkened apartment. Hand in hand, the bluenette brought the elder teen to the living room. "Akashi-kun" he whispered again as he turned on a dim light. He also gasped at the sight. Adorned on the captain's otherwise pristine visage was a dull, purple bruise. He let his eyes trail down the elder boy's clothed body. Even in a t-shirt and shorts, Kuroko could tell, a few bruises, cuts were clearly visible on the other's skin. Kuroko gulped again as he noticed a small red stain on the elder's otherwise white shirt. His mouth hung open in shock as he realized the situation. "I will get a medical kit" he whispered almost inaudibly. "Akashi-kun… please tell me…" he whispered as he returned with the kit in his arms. Taking a seat next to the silent boy, he tugged at the other's shirt.

"Ngh…" Akashi winced away from the touch. Everything burned. Everything hurt.

"Sorry… but I need to tend to your wounds"

With a silent nod, Akashi reluctantly moved his throbbing body, in an attempt to avoid unnecessary pain, he awkwardly removed his shirt.

Kuroko gasped at the sight of the bruised and battered body in front of him. Bruises. Cuts. Each wound stabbed the bluenette's heart. The amount of damage done was something that had built up. Kuroko swallowed nervously as he allowed his fingers to trail across the cut across the red head's chest, still bleeding crimson. Reaching for the medical kit, he carefully disinfected the wounds, and then proceeded to wrap the cut in bandage. "Akashi-kun…" he whispered again, letting his hand rest on the completely bandage. "Are you bleeding anywhere else?"

Akashi shook his head.

"How long has this been going on? Who's doing this to you?"

Akashi shook his head again… in denial.

"You can tell me…" Kuroko whispered again, trying to provide the solace he knew the elder teen needed. "I'm serious Akashi-kun, I just want the best… for you…"

Akashi let out a deep sigh as he gnawed at his bruised bottom lip. "It's been going on since I was a little kid…" he paused to gaze into sincere cerulean orbs. Kuroko provided him with just what he desired. Comfort, solace, everything. "Everything is my fault… but… I can't I can never do anything when he comes home drunk as fuck… I can never raise a fist against him because the last time I did I…" he stopped, shook his head as if the memories were all crawling back. "I've learned not to… I've learned" he whispered bitterly, heterochromatic eyes looking desperately at the bluenette in front of him. Searching for comfort.

Kuroko smiled. He festered up the warmest, brightest smile he could ever fester up, for Akashi's sake.

The red haired teen's breath hitched at the sight. He pursed his lips slightly, eyes softening.

"You can tell me more" the bluenette smiled again.

Akashi then knew that even know his heart screamed to hold the boy in his arms, he could never. He knew that the boy in front of him has a special place in his life. He knew that Tetsuya can save him from the deepest pits of despair. He knew that Tetsu… was his savior in a crude reality, an escape to fantasy. His eyes fluttered as he let out a bitter sigh. This also meant that Tetsuya would never be his.

"Please… tell me"

"…." Akashi furrowed his brows in confusion. "If you're willing to listen…"

"Of course" Kuroko smiled again.

"My very existence pains him. I'm the reason for his misery…"

"What….?" The bluenette whispered voice full of melancholy. Eyes fluttering at the sight of the Teiko captain bare, without composure.

"Don't you understand?" Akashi pleaded, eyes full of tears that would not fall.

"Please…. Akashi-kun…"

The red haired teen's head now hung limply from his body. He screwed his eyes shut in a futile attempt to block out all emotions. Needless to say, this was the one time that body refused to cooperate. He could not stop the sudden influx of emotion. It was if the dam had finally broken after years of suppressing everything. It came in a rush. Everything, all the pent frustration, melancholy… everything… rushed out. His composure came crumbling down as a result. "Don't you understand? I did everything… I killed her… I killed her… I fucking deserve everything…"

"Killed who?" Kuroko inquired as he tilted his head in an attempt to catch a glimpse of the other's visage.

"…" Akashi bit his bottom lip harshly before whipping his head away from the paler boy's gaze. He couldn't bring himself to look at the other boy, an attempt to savage whatever remnants that were left of his pride and composure,

And then Kuroko cupped his clenched fists.

Cupped them in most loving, affectionately manner that the elder teen had ever seen.

His lips trembled, the tears that held built behind his mismatched orbs threatened to fall. His breaths came out in ragged gasp. His brows furrowed in desperation. "I…. I killed my own mother…." The teen forced out, one painful syllable after another, each stabbing his already throbbing heart.

"What do you mean?" Akashi screwed his eyes shut as a single droplet of tear decided to betray him. He felt a slightly squeeze on his clenched fist.

"….I… she… driving…a.. car… I… I killed her" The boy said through sobs as he look up desperately at the younger teen's visage searching for comfort, solace, something that would tell him that it wasn't all his fault.

There was nothing.

Akashi let his head hang limply from his body. He sighed in defeat. He is at fault, no one else to blame. He killed the only thing that had loved him from the beginning. His fist closed more tightly. He blamed his heart for even believing for a second that someone would believe that it wasn't all because of him. He wanted to cry.

"I see" finally came a whisper. "I don't know the story fully… but I can't imagine that Akashi-kun is blaming himself for what happened…"

To that, Akashi looked up with an expression of genuine shock. Coming face to face with the stoic visage, droplets started to fall.

Not one to lose his composure easily, Kuroko gulped, tried his best to contain his emotions within. The bluenette silently nodded, understood the task he had at hand. He needed to remain strong. He needed to support the teen that had invented him.

It was his turn… his turn to save the one that had saved him from a life of mundane events, from a life of him.

Leaning forward, he let his arms wrapped around the trembling teen. "It's okay, I don't know everything, but from what I can see…. It's not your fault. What happened is an accident. If… if he's blaming you for it… that doesn't mean you have to believe what he says. Believe what you want to believe, but I know what Akashi-kun is on the inside" he whispered. Each phrase, each word, each syllable filled the red haired teen's hair with contentment, comfort, solace, everything he longed for.

And yet.

And yet, as much as he wanted to believe in those words, he couldn't bring himself to do so.

"I know. I know Akashi-kun doesn't believe the words I just said. And I understand that it will be difficult for you to truly… wholehearted believe them… but just trust me, just this once… " The bluenette tilted his head upward, attempting to follow the wondering gaze of his companion. "Just the once Akashi-kun… please, believe me, trust me, have faith in me." Kuroko pleaded.

Heterochromatic eyes flickered towards the pale visage in front him. Hesitantly, he nodded, choosing to bury his face into the nape of the pale boy's neck, seeking for something more.

"Akashi-kun, let's go to the bed" Kuroko whispered before pulling the elder teen up, wary of the other's wounds, he quickly relocated themselves. Quickly, the shadow snuck a glance at the digital clock besides him.

11:00 PM

Quickly he crawled into bed before pulling the covers over the trembling body of the formerly stoic captain of Teiko. Reassuringly, he allowed his shoulder to brush against the elder's as if he was trying to constantly remind the other of his presence. "Akashi-kun… please don't worry yourself anymore with this… for now… let's just pretend… that everything's alright" Kuroko whispered before placing a hand into the other teen's. Taking it into a gentle grasp.

"I'll try"Akashi whispered inaudibly before allowing himself to drift into slumber despite the state of his body.

Thank you Tetsuya…

The first time that Akashi had ever allowed his composure to break.

The first time that he shared his trauma with another human being

The first time that he had felt human… perfectly… human… perfectly normal

Author's Note

Please bare with me... with all this OOC :O