Chapter 2: Going, Going, Gone
An Excerpt from Friedrich's childhood
I imagined Friedrich to be a bit out of place while growing up when he was younger. He was caught between two sisters, with a little brother who was still too young to enjoy the things he did. I thought of his age difference with Liesl and how that probably made him feel insecure, as well as the recurring theme of a need for attention in a group of siblings.
He was tired from running.
No matter how many times they raced the distance of the yard, he would never catch up with Liesl. She was always the first one to reach the pear-shaped tree with the little white blossoms on it.
It always looked like such a short run when he first started out, but then halfway across, he would get more and more tired. Once he saw Liesl laugh and run even faster, his feet would give up.
"I'm a natural born runner!" She would say to him. And then she would scrunch up her shoulders and smile with that goofy, googly grin, and her eyes would get all wide and wild. She was so silly. That was what he and Louisa called her - their silly sister.
Liesl asked him if he wanted to race her again. He told her he wanted to rest for a while, but really he wasn't going to try again.
Hopefully she wouldn't get mad at him.
Liesl didn't get mad easily. She usually just forgot about things.
It was much easier to make Louisa mad than Liesl. The other boys were always telling Friedrich how they were afraid of their older brothers and sisters. Friedrich was too embarrassed to tell them that he was actually more afraid of his younger sister. But at least he knew he could beat Louisa in a race. And of course he could always beat Kurt at anything. But that didn't count. After all, Kurt was still too young to even walk right without falling.
But Mother was expecting another baby any day now. Soon there would be another brother or sister that he could easily beat at every game.
Friedrich was hoping this new baby would be different than the others. Sometimes it was hard to find a friend who wanted to do the things he wanted to do. Father always told him that when Kurt grew up he would want to do 'boy things' with Friedrich. Running was the only thing Liesl wanted to do that Friedrich really enjoyed. And until Kurt was big enough, she was his only opponent.
If they weren't running outside, he had to settle for playing tea party with Liesl or being Louisa's make-believe puppy.
Friedrich was always wishing he had a puppy of his own. But Louisa never wanted to play the puppy. She only wanted to be the owner. That was because she was bossy.
It would have been better to have a real puppy, anyhow. Louisa wouldn't make a very obedient pet.
Maybe one day he could have a real dog like some of his friends. That would be grand.
Friedrich collapsed under the shade of an apple tree and worked his fingers through the laces of his boots. Every time he got one lace loose, he kept coming across little knots that were impossible to unravel. Then he remembered that his father had been the one to tie them that morning. Sometimes his father did strange things to the knots instead of tying them normally.
And when that happened, his father was the only one who was able to untie them properly.
He looked up at the sound of his parents and Uncle Max laughing on the terrace. They didn't like it when the children interrupted them while they were talking, but they seemed to be in good spirits right now. It wouldn't be a bother if he asked his father to untie his laces.
He got to his feet and tore across the lawn towards the steps. "Friedrich, are you ready to race again?" Liesl asked from the bench by the lake.
"Uh..no, not yet. I need to..uh, fix my shoes." It looked like he was stuck. He should have been more careful not to run in front of her. Then he could have said his feet were hurting. That was usually what he said when he didn't want to race Liesl.
"Well, hurry up because I'm simply bursting with energy!" She said excitedly, jumping from her seat and flailing her arms like a bird. Louisa giggled.
Oh, great.
Friedrich slumped up the steps to the porch only to find that his father was gone. "Well, well. Young Friedrich's come to join us." Uncle Max said with a smile.
"Hello, sweetheart." Mother said as she shifted Kurt on her lap.
"Do you know where Father went?" Friedrich asked, veering his head to look through the open door to the house.
"He went inside to take a phone call. Why?" Mother answered, giggling as Kurt swatted at her hair. It bothered Friedrich the way she never seemed to give him her full concentration while she was holding Kurt.
"I just wanted him to untie my bootlaces." He mumbled in reply, beginning to back down the steps again. This could be the perfect excuse to get out of another race with Liesl. His shoes were too uncomfortable and no one but father could untie them.
"Oh, that's not a problem for me, darling. I'll untie them for you." His mother said cheerfully as she held Kurt up for Uncle Max. "Max, will take little Kurt for a walk?"
"Why, certainly!" He grunted with the weight of the toddler as he picked him up. "Why, you're heavy as a brick..." He added under his breath. Kurt just grinned and made one of his ridiculous spluttering noises that Louisa always said made him sound like a pig. Mother always got angry with her when she said that.
Friedrich stifled a laugh as he caught Uncle Max's words and watched as his brother was carried down into the yard with the girls. He looked back at Mother where she sat, dusting off her lap.
"Come over here, let's see them." She motioned for him, and he shuffled over to her and sat himself down in the chair beside her.
He watched as she made the same maneuvers he had earlier, undoing one lace, then encountering one of those pesky little knots that seemed to turn up everywhere. Her wedding ring was very sparkly in the sunlight, so he just watched that instead as she moved her hands. If she turned it just the right way, it made little rainbows dance across his arm.
"Oh, dear." She said softly. But she didn't sound upset when she said it, just... sort of tired. He looked up at her. She had that little smile on her face that she always got whenever she found that she couldn't untie his laces. "Your father tied these, didn't he?" She asked knowingly.
"Yes..." He didn't understand why she always found his bootlaces so amusing. What could be so funny when it was impossible to untie his boots?
Mother stood from her chair very slowly. Her belly was so big now that she took almost seven seconds just to stand up!
She patted his shoulder and said lightly, "I'll be right back, dear."
Friedrich turned his head to watch her disappear into the house.
He swung his legs over the end of the chair, making the loose laces snap against the leg of the table as he moved them.
He could feel his face growing red under the heat of the sun. If he touched the top of his head, he was certain that his hair would burn his hand.
In the yard, he could hear Louisa and Kurt giggling. Kurt was picking up dead grass and throwing it on Uncle Max.
Friedrich rolled his eyes. Why did they think everything Kurt did was so funny? And why wasn't Uncle Max annoyed by his behavior? He seemed not to care at all that Kurt was making a mess.
Liesl was dancing around next to the gate of the lake. Friedrich knew she was pretending to be a ballerina. Father and Mother had taken her to the ballet a week before, and she talked of nothing but how wonderful it was since then. Her bright yellow dress flew up in a wide, lacy circle around her when she twirled. Didn't she realize that people could see her underwear when she did that? Even though he had never been to the ballet, Friedrich was sure the real ballerinas never showed the audience their undergarments.
He turned at the sound of footsteps behind him, expecting it to be Mother. But it was just Frau Schmidt.
She cocked her head sideways to look into his face, and he self-consciously turned a little. "Why, Friedrich... that awful mug on your handsome little face... Whatever could be the cause of it on this lovely day?" She began clearing the plates and glasses from the table and setting them on her big silver tray.
How could he even begin to explain to Frau Schmidt all of his problems? Adults rarely understood children's problems anyway, even when they said they did.
So he didn't answer her... even though Father always told him it was rude not to answer someone when they asked you a question.
Only the sound of clinking glasses could be heard.
But Frau Schmidt didn't get angry with him. She just kept on talking. "Your sisters and brother seem to be having a splendid time. Why don't you join them?"
He didn't want to tell her that he was afraid of racing Liesl. And he certainly wasn't about to reveal his displeasure concerning Kurt and Louisa either.
"Because my feet hurt, and I wanted to take my boots off for a while." At least it was half the truth.
His voice had sounded very much like he was whining. He didn't mean for it to sound that way, but whenever he spoke about something that was bothering him, it always had that same rude tone to it. He was lucky that Frau Schmidt didn't notice what his voice sounded like.
He had to be very careful not to whine around Father. Father would reprimand him and tell him that complaining was immature.
Frau Schmidt stopped clinking the plates around to push back the gray wisps of hair from her forehead with a sigh. She didn't seem very pleased.
"Well, why don't you run up and fetch yourself a new pair, Friedrich?"
He crossed his arms over his chest. "Because if I try to go up the stairs with my laces half-way untied, I might trip!"
"What's going on out here?"
Friedrich jerked his head back at the sound of his father's voice. He didn't sound angry yet, just concerned.
Frau Schmidt spoke first. "Oh, Captain... Your poor son here appears to be a prisoner to his boots, again. You wouldn't have been using his laces to practice your 'Angler's loop' would you?"
Father looked confused for a moment, then he caught Friedrich's eye and smirked.
"It's not funny - I'm stuck!" Friedrich protested, stamping his feet on the ground for emphasis.
Frau Schmidt shot him a look of surprise, then turned back to the Captain. "Perhaps it's about time you taught him how to tie his own laces."
"I know how to tie my own laces!" Friedrich piped up again. "I only ask Father to tie them when I want to be sure they don't come undone."
Frau Schmidt carried her tray to the door, calling back over her shoulder, "Then perhaps your father should learn to tie knots the proper way, assuming he is not on his ships any longer."
Father walked over to where Friedrich was sitting and knelt down on one knee in front of his chair. "It's really just second-nature. I didn't mean to -" He began to explain, but Frau Schmidt was already inside.
"Ah, well." He sighed as he quickly untied the knots. Friedrich always tried to watch how his father undid them, but he always went so fast, and it was far too difficult to remember how it was done. "There you go, son."
"Father, can't you show me how to untie them the way you do?" He asked pleadingly, as he kicked the boots off his feet.
"You would need to know how to tie them first, Friedrich." Father said smartly as he stood up.
"Can't you teach me?" Friedrich begged once more.
Father gave him the look that meant to settle down. Friedrich quickly closed his mouth.
"Maybe someday when you're a little older. It's a bit too complicated for a five-year-old, and you've only just turned five." He turned to look over at Uncle Max playing with the children.
Friedrich slouched in his chair while his father's back was turned.
"Friedrich, sit up straight!" Mother's voice suddenly came from behind him. She was always telling him that, even when he thought she wasn't watching.
Liesl came running up the steps, shouting enthusiastically, "Mother! Did you see me dancing? Don't I look just like the ballerinas on stage?"
Mother nodded as she came forward to stand beside father. "Yes, you dance beautifully, dear!" She said with a happy laugh. She sounded like she really meant it, too.
Friedrich thought she should have mentioned something to Liesl about seeing under her dress. But Mother never seemed to have anything negative to say to Liesl.
"What happened to Friedrich's shoes?" Liesl asked, pushing her way between her parents to stare at her brother.
"They were hurting me." Friedrich said defensively. He didn't like the way she was looking at him. He could tell she didn't believe him.
"I think your brother wants to rest for a while." Mother said, brushing back Liesl's hair.
"But he said he would race me again." Now Liesl sounded like she was whining.
"You always have tomorrow." Father told her quellingly.
She pouted, but she was smart enough to stop talking about it.
Friedrich was still a little worried, though. Liesl forgot about things quite often, but he didn't think she would forget about this. He would have to think up another excuse tomorrow.
At dinner, Friedrich still wasn't in a very good mood. Liesl was only talking to the adults like she was something important, and Louisa kept making faces at him from across the table.
Whenever Uncle Max was at the table, it was easier to get away with things without Mother and Father noticing.
If Louisa wanted to be rude to him, then he was going to be rude back! After every face she made, he mirrored it back at her.
If she made googly eyes, he made googly eyes.
If she scrunched up her nose, he scrunched up his nose.
If she puffed up her cheeks, he puffed up his cheeks.
Then she stuck out her tongue and rolled it up. How strange!
Friedrich tried to figure out how she could do that, but he couldn't manage it himself. Could it be that there was something Louisa could do that he couldn't?
She cackled at him as she watched him struggle to copy her. When he gave up, she grinned and waggled her head.
This was very upsetting.
Friedrich slouched in his chair and waited for his mother to tell him to straighten up, but even she didn't notice him. She was too busy wiping away the applesauce that was smudged on the front of Kurt's shirt.
If he wasn't wanted at the table, then he didn't have to be at the table.
He looked right and left to be sure no one was looking, and he slowly slid down from his chair onto the floor.
He pulled the tablecloth over his head and scooted underneath the table.
He could see Louisa's short little legs swinging back and forth, Liesl's legs crossed daintily, Uncle Max and Father's identical shiny black shoes, and Mother's light purple heels with the jewels on them.
He covered his mouth to keep from laughing. It was much more fun being under the table than up above it!
Everyone's voices were slightly muffled so they were funny to listen to. They must have had no idea where he'd gone to.
Then Mother lowered Kurt onto the floor next to her chair. Kurt was looking right at him. He smiled.
Friedrich brought his finger up to his lips to tell Kurt to be quiet, but his brother didn't understand the gesture.
"Gabalagah!" Kurt shouted in baby talk.
Friedrich made an angry face, but Kurt merely laughed at him. He had a very loud laugh.
"What's so funny?" He heard Mother ask Kurt, but she was laughing herself.
"Kah Kah?" Kurt pointed to something on the table, now distracted. "Kah Kah?" He repeated the phrase.
Friedrich watched Mother's hand come down to give his brother a small piece of a cookie. It was the kind that looked sort of like a waffle. Those were Friedrich's favorite.
He crawled slightly closer to where Kurt stood and opened his hand. "Hey, Kurt...can I have your cookie?" He made sure to smile at him. Babies usually did what you asked them to if you smiled.
Kurt looked down at the cookie in his hand and back at Friedrich. Then he stuffed half of it in his mouth.
Friedrich groaned.
It was only after Kurt pulled it back out of his mouth that he decided to share it with his brother.
"Yucch! Get that away from me! I don't want it now - it has your germs on it!" He hissed, trying to stay quiet, but Louisa poked her head under to see what was going on.
"Friedrich, what are you doing under the table! Mother, Friedrich's under the table!" She always made her voice all sing-songy whenever she was trying to get him in trouble.
Friedrich seethed. Louisa made him so mad when she used that voice.
"Friedrich, come out from under there..." Mother ordered tiredly. He had no choice but to obey her. He dragged himself along the floor towards his seat - now he had scratchy red carpet burns all over his knees and elbows.
He glared at Louisa as he lifted himself back into his chair. Then he looked innocently over at the adults. Father's eyebrows were narrowed. That was never a good sign.
They were all quiet for a few moments, then Uncle Max resumed his conversation and they forgot about Friedrich all over again.
The next morning, Friedrich climbed out of bed, hoping Liesl would be busy with something else and not want to run with him again.
He found the rest of his siblings in the parlor.
"Good morning, Friedrich!" Mother said brightly to him. His sisters didn't say anything. Kurt babbled.
Mother adjusted Kurt on her hip and peeked out the window. "Why, this fog is as thick as cotton! I've never seen anything like it!"
Liesl and Louisa scampered over to look outside, too. Louisa was too short to see without standing on her very tippy toes.
Friedrich was slightly curious to see the fog as well, but he wasn't excited enough to fight for a spot at the window.
"Mama, why does it look all white like that?" Louisa questioned softly as though she were asking something secretive.
Mother looked over at Friedrich for a moment before answering, "A fog is really just a very low cloud. Usually we see clouds when they're very high in the sky."
Louisa and Liesl looked at each other. "You mean the cloud fell out of the sky?" Liesl asked incredulously, pointing at the ceiling.
Mother did that funny thing she sometimes does where she smiles and nods very fast.
"Can I go outside and run around in it?" Liesl asked, eagerly pressing her hands together in a pleading gesture in front of her face.
"You'd better not, darling. If you took so much as one step outside in this dense a fog for even a second, you'd be soaked to the skin!"
"Soaked to the skin!" Louisa laughingly repeated Mother's words. She was always doing that.
Liesl's face fell. But she would forget about it in a minute or two. Liesl always forgot about the things that made her upset.
Friedrich breathed a sigh of relief. If they couldn't go outside, then that meant he didn't have to make up an excuse not to race again!
Feeling a little brighter, he walked over to where the girls were standing by the window. The fog really was thick - he couldn't even see the lake!
Father came through the door just then. Kurt reached out for him as he came near Mother. "I think he wants to sleep." She told him.
Father nodded and took Kurt from her arms.
"I guess we can't race today, Liesl." Friedrich remarked casually.
Her mouth dropped open. He regretted instantly that he had reminded her.
"Oh, no! Me and Friedrich were supposed to race again today, remember? Can we do it inside the house?"
"Absolutely not!" Father said to her. His eyes were wide as he looked at Liesl. He looked that way whenever he thought she should know better. Friedrich was secretly happy that Father had gotten a little angry at Liesl.
"Aw, but I don't want to wait a whole nother day!" Liesl complained.
Mother shook her head. "Usually the fog doesn't last very long. By afternoon it will most likely be clear. You can race then."
Oh, no. Nobody had said that the fog would only last part of the day! Friedrich felt the sinking feeling come back to his stomach. Now he had no excuses.
"Oh, good!" Liesl said. "I'm going to go practice my dancing for a while, then!"
She followed Father out the door. Now Friedrich was left with just Louisa and Mother.
Louisa put her hand on Mother's belly. "I felt the baby kick! The baby kicked my hand, Mama!"
"Yes, I felt it, too." She looked down at Louisa's hand. "Do you want to feel it kick, Friedrich?"
"Okay.." He walked closer to them and reached out to place his hand next to Louisa's. It wasn't a very hard kick, but it surprised him a little, and he pulled his hand back at the brief contact.
"Can you have the baby, today, Mama? Please?" Louisa begged. "I want to see what it looks like!"
Mother laughed. "No, dear, I'm sorry. Only the baby knows when it's ready to come. I don't know when that will be. But I do know that we don't have much longer to wait."
Louisa looked over to smile at him, and Friedrich couldn't help feeling a little bit happier. He didn't really care if the baby was a boy or a girl, but he knew Liesl and Louisa really wanted another sister.
"Ahem."
They looked back to see Franz standing in the threshold. "Excuse me, Baroness, but there is a phone call for you from Ireland."
"Oh, thank you, Franz. I'll be right there." Mother reached for Louisa's hand. "I'll bet that's your Great Uncle Albrecht calling. I'm sure he'll want to talk to you two. Are you coming, Friedrich?"
Friedrich nodded and followed them into the hall.
He and Louisa stood still and watched as Mother picked up the telephone.
"Hello, Uncle Albrecht!" ... "Yes, I did. Please tell Monica thank you for the gifts. The children loved them." ... "I will tell him as soon as I get the chance. Would you like to speak to the children?" ... "I have Friedrich and Louisa here with me."
She reached down and handed the phone to Louisa first. "Hold it closer to your face, dear." She instructed gently.
Louisa grinned as she smashed the speaker up against her ear. It looked really big next to her face.
"Hello, Uncle Albrecht!"..."Uh huh."..."Uh huh."..."Yep."..."I hope so."..."Maybe."..."Ok."..."Bye."
Mother smiled at Louisa as if she had done something really fantastic. Friedrich just didn't understand the way Mother looked sometimes.
She took the phone from Louisa and placed it in Friedrich's hands. "Hang it up when you're finished, darling." She told him softly, and took Louisa back into the parlor.
Friedrich held the speaker close to his ear so that he could hear the scratchy sounds on the other end. "Hello, Uncle Albrecht."
"Hello, Friedrich! How are you, my boy?"
"All right."
"Do you know where your Great Uncle Albrecht is right now?"
"Um, Ireland?"
"That's right! My, my, you're very clever!"
Friedrich laughed. His uncle had no idea that the butler had mentioned he was in Ireland.
"Are you excited about having a new baby in your family?"
"I guess."
"Do you think it will be a boy or a girl?"
Friedrich had no idea, and he didn't want to guess and end up being wrong when Mother did have the baby. So he decided to joke about it instead. "I think it will be a... puppy!"
"A what?"
"A puppy! I think Mother will have a puppy!" He laughed. In a way, he thought it would have been very neat if she really did have a puppy. Why couldn't humans have puppies?
"Oh, good heavens."
The sun was shining through the windows now. That meant the fog was gone.
Then Friedrich remembered that after he got off the phone, Liesl would probably be waiting for him. He had to prolong the conversation for as long as he could.
"Uncle Albrecht?" He began tentatively.
"Yes?"
"...Can you run fast?"
"Can I run fast? Well, I suppose I used to be much faster than I am these days." He chuckled the way old people always seem to do when they mention their age. "Why do you ask that, Friedrich?"
"Well...you see, Liesl keeps wanting me to race her, but I know that whenever I do, she'll always beat me. I have to keep making excuses not to do it. I just wish I could beat her for once."
"Ahhh. I see. You know, Friedrich, we boys have a certain advantage over the girls."
"Huh?"
"Oh, you wait and see. I'll bet you my bottom dollar that one of these days, you will beat your sister at that race."
"How do you know?"
"Because I'm your Great Uncle Albrecht, and I know absolutely everything!"
"Oh."
"But you can't expect to beat her if you keep avoiding it, can you?"
"No. I guess not."
"You'll be as fast as lightning if you don't worry about losing."
"Really?"
"Oh, yes. You just need to believe in yourself."
Friedrich had heard other people use that phrase before, but it never really made much sense until now. "I don't know if I can."
"Well, I believe in you. You're a fine young boy; you'll get your chance soon enough. Liesl won't always be the tallest or the fastest."
"Haha." It was fun to imagine Liesl being smaller and slower than him, even if it never really did happen.
"All right then, I'm wanted back at the speakeasy. Now if only I can remember that password..."
"Bye, Uncle Albrecht."
"Goodbye, Friedrich. Say hello to your father for me! I'll come and visit when I'm back in Vienna!"
"Okay!"
Friedrich listened until the weird buzzing noise hummed inside the phone, then he placed it back on the cradle.
When Friedrich saw that it was finally clear outside, he wasn't afraid.
He didn't try to weasel his way out of anything when Liesl asked him for one more race.
He didn't even object when Uncle Max asked to watch them.
Because even if he didn't beat her today, there was always a tomorrow. And on one of those tomorrows, he would beat her.
He wasn't terribly nervous when Liesl counted down from three. It wasn't a dreadful experience when she predictably bolted ahead of him.
But he was slightly shocked when he found himself gaining on her as they ran through the grass.
It looked almost as if they might even tie...
Then with a final spring of energy, Friedrich took off past his sister, leaving her a short, but significant distance behind him.
He was doing it. He was outrunning Liesl.
He was so excited and amazed that he didn't even stop when he passed the pear-shaped tree with the little white blossoms on it.
He just kept going and going. And then he was gone.