seven pages long! thats the longest chapter i'v every writen, and the hardest. i'm sorry for spelling mistakes, i checked so there shouldn't be any but sorry all the same.

this chapter was hard so if heres bits that make you go 'huh' just ask and i'll explane.

i do not own the rights the game nor they characters in this story, only the plot is mine


If Zelos could describe himself at that moment he'd have to say he was terrified, actually, terrified was a huge understatement, Zelos didn't think there was a word for how he felt.

He just thanked his lucky stars that Regal suggested that they rest a moment in the cavern leading to the 'back door' of the tower of salvation. Regal had said something about 'mentally preparing' themselves for what might happen, though none of them had any idea what actually would happen, that thought sent shivers down his back.

Zelos inwardly sighed and looked around from his leaning post next to the teleporter, Raine, Genis, Sheena, and Colette were all sitting round in a small circle talking amongst them selves.

Presea was sitting an a dark corner of her own sharpening her axe, and Regal was sitting next to her with his eyes closed, looking as though he was meditating.

Zelos turned his attention to Lloyd; the younger man was passing back and forth in front of the teleporter, every once in a while Lloyd stopped looked at the teleporter, then at the others and then Zelos, he'd smile, Then continue with his passing all the while he'd be fidgeting with his mothers Exsphere, a habit that he did when he was nervous or frustrated.

Zelos sighed, and closed his eyes, damn it, why did he have to do this to them, of cause it's not like he could turn back now. He had to get the Aionis for Lloyd or at least give Kratos time to get it, and if he did change his mind and run like the coward he was, Kratos would kill him.

Although, if he really thought about it, death by Kratos wasn't such a bad idea at this point, he was sure the Seraphim wouldn't mind, in fact Zelos thought Kratos may enjoy slowly cutting him into tiny pieces. Zelos shook his head.

Why was he thinking like that, he had to do this, yeah, Lloyd will hate for it and probably never talk to him again, hey, he may even kill him, but Zelos had to do it. Not just because Kratos asked him to, not just because it will help save the worlds, but because he loved Lloyd, from deepest part of his heart, and he'll do anything for him. Even if it meant he hand to break Lloyd's heart to do so.

Ok that sounded some what cheesy, but it was true. Zelos laughed to him self quietly,

He looked back up to Lloyd and coughed to get his attention, Lloyd looked up at Zelos.

"Hay, uh, bud could I talk to you a moment …. Privately" whispering the last word Zelos walked past the others and up the stairs leading out the cave, Lloyd followed suit telling the others he would be back in a minuet before leaving.

-

"So… what did you want to talk about Zelos?" Lloyd asked as he got to the top of the stairs.

Zelos was silent for a moment, trying to think of the right words without giving anything of Kratos' plan away.

"Ah…I-I don't think I'm going to survive this Lloyd…" and your going to be the one to kill me, Zelos swallowed the lump in his throat and closed his eyes. Lloyd looked shocked at Zelos. They were silent for a moment the wind blowing Lloyds ribbons and Zelos hair and random directions.

Lloyd stepped closer to Zelos closing his arms around the taller man,

"Y'know Zelos…you can be a real idiot sometimes" Lloyd mumbled into Zelos' shoulder, burying his face into of Zelos' neck and taking in his scent "your not going to die… I won't let that happen." Zelos let the tears fall from his face, moving his own arms around Lloyd's body tightening the hug.

"Um…Lloyd if…if something happens in the tower…something really bad, will you forgive me…" Lloyd looked up at Zelos studying his face with deep brown eyes.

"Zelos…I don't really understand what your saying…but if something happens that even remotely involves you…I will always forgive you…though…at the moment, I don't see why I would need to" Lloyd moved his hands to Zelos' face wiping away tears with his gloved fingers.

Zelos smiled, typical Lloyd, he'd expected an answer like that, Zelos lent his forehead against Lloyds making sure to commit everything about Lloyd to memory, his beautiful large chocolate brown eyes, his soft rich brown hair, Zelos noted the hints of auburn in it, and wandered for a moment if Lloyd may end up looking a lot more like Kratos later in life.

Zelos breathed in Lloyds scent, a mix of spices and cinnamon with a fresh cool winter morning breeze.

Lloyd had soft lightly tanned skin; he wasn't to buff nor to spindly. He was perfect, everything about Lloyd was perfect, he was an angel. Not the type of Cruxis, he was born an angel and it won't be long now before he gets his wings, Zelos was sure they'd be just as beautiful as the rest of him. Lloyd's voice brought Zelos back to the harsh reality.

"What…?"

"I said was there anything else you wanted to talk to me about" Lloyd grinned, Zelos thought for a moment

"Well….I keep getting this weird image of Kratos beating me to death" they both laughed

"Why would you have an image like that…though I can almost see it happening too" Lloyd was smiling from ear to ear now, Zelos put on his I've-got-so-many-troubles-but-none-of-that-matters-when-I'm-with-you-face.

"Aw. So you like the thought of Kratos killing me, that's not very nice bumpkin-" Zelos faked a sob "I just thought we won't get his blessings is all…"

Lloyd tilted his head confused "what do you mean Zelos?"

"Well beautiful…there's gonna come a time when we have to tell the parents about us, luckily mine are dead so it doesn't apply to me, but we have to tell Dirk and Kratos, right. I just thought Kratos will not be amused to find his only child with another man…" Lloyd thought a moment and shook his head.

"Zelos if I were you I'd be more afraid of Dirk, I know I am… in fact I think it's better if he NEVER finds out" Lloyd face became serious

"Why?"

"Dwarven vow 662# 'no man should ever lay with another' and you should know by now that Dad follows the Dwarven Vows to the letter, If I told him I were gay Martel knows what he'll do" Zelos looked shocked, but didn't say anything else on the matter, he didn't know much about the dwarven vows but if they were all mostly like that one Lloyd must have a very restricted life and it would explain how he turned out as he has.

Lloyd on the other hand simply smiled at Zelos and kissed him on the lips dragging him yet again back to reality

"Come one we should be getting back to the others, but are you sure you're ok Zelos?-" Zelos nodded to Lloyd smiling "good, just don't ever think your gonna die today and I still don't understand what you meant by forgiving you but, y'know just don't be silly anymore" Lloyd bonked Zelos on his head before kissing him again, only this time more passionately, they staid like that a moment before braking apart reluctantly and headed back down to the cave with the others.

-

"Ready guys?" Lloyd asked to the group, everyone nodded and started heading into the teleporter and warping to the tower, Genis was asking Lloyd what he and Zelos had talked about only getting a slap from Raine, Sheena and Colette were still talking quietly to them selves, to Zelos it would seem the girls of the group had an idea to what was going on between Lloyd and himself.

Something shocked Zelos about the group that he'd never noticed before, only moments ago everyone was nervous knowing that they may be walking to they're deaths if they fail to defeat Mithos. But as soon as Lloyd smiled at them, as soon as he spoke up everyone was just…different, Zelos couldn't put any other word to it. Any thoughts of doubt in their hearts were gone and they followed Lloyd through the teleporter as if it was any other day, as if they were only going there to have a cup of tea with Mithos and relax, it was weird, that Lloyd had this affect on people.

Zelos was the last to go through; he took one final deep breath before stepping into the teleporter and appearing in the tower.

The tower looked the same as it always did, quiet and cold, the group walked toward the teleporter to Derris-Kharlan, they walked slowly expecting an attack, but none came, they stopped at the base of the stairs leading to the eternal sword realising the teleporter wasn't active, Zelos took another deep long breath before speaking up.

"Leave this to me!" he announced jumping up the stairs and turning to the group

"'leave it to you'" Sheena repeated "what are you gonna do?"

Zelos smiled smugly "I figured something like this might happen so I prepared a lil' something the last time we where here" Zelos turned to Lloyd for a second holding his gaze sadly, though Lloyd didn't seem to notice.

"Colette come here for a sec" Zelos ran to the Eternal Sword "um ok…" Colette followed stopping exactly between Zelos and the others, and on the trap.

The look on Zelos face changed dramatically, his laid back smile twisted into an evil smirk and his eyes narrowed, just as the angels appeared. Separating Zelos and Colette from the others, the teleporter opened and Pronyma stepped out "Good work Chosen, now bring her to me"

"Sure thing" Zelos chirped there was a light under Colette feet and she was warped to Pronyma side, the angel s flew up surrounding her.

"Zelos?!" Genis yelled shocked

"What the hell are you doing?!" Sheena asked as she realised what was happening, Zelos closed his eyes smiling wickedly.

"Oh shut up! I'm just putting myself on the winning side" he spat

Lloyd's heart snapped into two, everyone froze. Zelos opened his eyes again.

"What you're trying to do is hopeless and meaningless" he turned and looked up at Colette and Pronyma "what's the big deal anyway, Colette wanted to become a sacrifice, remember?" Lloyd paled everything Zelos had said, everything he did. It all made sense now. He'd even wrapped Lloyd around his little finger. Lloyd's anger boiled over, this was all some sick game.

"Zelos you traitor!" Lloyd accused, but even as he did so, Lloyd felt this pain in his heart.

Zelos looked up at Lloyd, he stepped forward, no sign of remorse was evident in his eyes "it's so funny that you would say that, I mean it's not like you guys trusted me in the first place" he was right, they didn't trust him, not fully anyway, all excepted Lloyd, Pronyma laughed evilly and spoke up

"Betray you, how amusing. Zelos was our spy from the very beginning…isn't that right Zelos?" everything was turning out as Zelos expected, the only one out of the group who still seemed remotely like he trusted Zelos was Lloyd "is that true?"

Zelos was now determent to get Lloyd to hate him, to get Lloyd to kill him. He smirked again "' I side with the strongest' it was a simple matter of weighing the Renegades, Cruxis and all of you" Zelos said smugly he kept his gaze on Lloyd.

"You were leaking information to the Renegades too, I can't believe you" Sheena was red with anger now, as was most of the group "you were always a pervert but I never doubted that you where a good person when it came down to it!"

"Why, thank you, my sweet, voluptuous hunny …but in the end I choose this side" Zelos tuned away, he couldn't stand the look on Lloyds face any more. "'cause Mithos promised to release me from my fate as a Chosen of Mana…"

It was Regal turn to speak up now but by this time Zelos didn't care what they had to say. It didn't matter anymore, he just wanted to die.

"…It's because of that title that my life has been a total joke, I can't stand it, I can't wait for Seles to become the Chosen instead" Zelos had thought he was doing good job, getting everyone was hating him now, but Lloyd was still so persistent, it was making Zelos' heart ache with regret but he forced him self to look back at Lloyd "your lying, I still lo- I still trust you, you hear me!, you're the one who told me I could trust you!!" Lloyd was on the brink of tears. Zelos turned back quickly, hiding his own watery eyes.

"What are you stupid?!" Zelos snapped at Lloyd "lady Pronyma hurry and take Colette" Pronyma did so, Colette screamed for Lloyd but soon disappeared.

Zelos took another deep breath and turned walking back to Lloyd and the others

"So…this is how it ends" he said casually pulling out his sword

"Why Zelos…why are you doing this, you where my- you were our friend!" Lloyd yelled. he was clearly shaking as he pulled out his own swords knowing that there was no way out of it.

"Friend…huh?" Zelos cyan blue eyes saddened as they locked with Lloyds deep brown ones "I never did get you guys to trust me though…"even if you did love me Lloyd, you still couldn't trust me

"..That…was" Lloyd looked down

"Don't feel bad about it …I mean; I did deceive you after all" Zelos smiled softly like they where having a casual conversation.

Lloyd looked up again, a small glint of hope in his eyes "There's got to be some explanation for all this Zelos, t-this has got to be another one of you jokes, right?"

"Ha-ha! I donno what to tell ya, I'm just a weak lazy bum…" Zelos moved his hand to his Cruxis Crystal, it started glowing and Zelos was soon surrounded by and orange light "All I want is a nice easy life, that's it! Nothing more, nothing less" in another flash bright beautiful wings appeared on his back.

Zelos stood there looking almost unearthly, his wings flapped aimlessly behind him, and his expression was one that none of the others had seen before.

They all stood there completely dumbstruck at the sight. Lloyd was the first to move, his anger taking the best of him, his breathing was ragged and choppy, he clutched his swords tightly, and tears filled his eyes.

He ran at Zelos, Zelos was ready and blocked the oncoming attack, Lloyd swiped again and again Zelos blocked all the attacks but the last, he failed to see. And he only really realised that he got hit by the blood spraying from his stomach, Zelos jumped away, landing with grace, he started chanting fast, deciding it would be better if it was a one on one duel with Lloyd, the others were getting ready to attack.

Zelos cast a spell that know one saw coming, he set up am invisible wall stopping their charge; knocking them all back down the starts.

Lloyd looked around; everyone was on their knees after getting throne back from the impact. He then turned back to Zelos.

"Now it's just you and me beautiful…" Zelos said casually

"Don't call me that!" Lloyd yelled "you have no right to call me that anymore Zelos"

Zelos looked at Lloyd intently and grinned again "you really hate me now don't you?"

"…no" Zelos' eye's widened, he was sure Lloyd would hate him for what he was doing "no?" Lloyd nodded

"I…can't hate you Zelos…I love you, I really do. I know now that this was what you where talking about before, and I stand by my answer, Zelos I forgive you" Zelos was dumbstruck for a moment, he shook his head and regained his composure, smirking.

"Forgive me huh? Man, you really are a softy Lloyd" Zelos looked down at his stomach it wasn't bleeding as bad as he thought; it wasn't enough to kill him.

"y'know Lloyd, I'm really not worth your time, I don't see why you bothered to love me like you do…you may forgive me but I cant forgive myself" Zelos charged at Lloyd taking him by surprise, they locked swords.

"Damn it, Zelos why are you fighting me?"

"Because I want you to kill me!" Zelos yelled at Lloyd. He knocked one of Lloyds swords out of his hands, Zelos went to attack again but Lloyd was faster slashing at Zelos a second time, this time across the chest not too deep to kill but Zelos was loosing a steady supply of blood.

"Good Lloyd" Zelos smirked again.

"No! Zelos I don't want to kill you! Why do you want to die!" Lloyd was crying fully now he threw his remaining sword on the ground "this is all too much, did you hand over Colette in the hope I'd kill you?"

Zelos fell and sat on the ground, his vision going blurry from blood loss

"Y'know Lloyd, Kratos taught you well you don't hit deep but you hit well enough to draw lots of blood…finish it Lloyd, please" Lloyd shook his head, and walked to Zelos, wrapping him in a hug "no…don't make me do this…help me got Colette back…but don't make me kill you please"

"Lloyd I was never meant to be born…it was the last thing my mother said to me before she died I don't deserve to live, and I don't deserver your love…I'm sorry"

Zelos fell into Lloyd chest the wall that was blocking the others disappeared Raine was the first to get to the two.

"Professor! Please heal him!" Lloyd looked up at her, tears rolling down his face; Raine stood there a moment unsure of what to do "Professor!" Lloyd yelled again, Raine hesitated then bend down to heal Zelos, she made a chant under her breath and a pale green light enveloped Zelos.

She didn't heal him completely, but enough so he could stand on his own.

Zelos opened his eyes, he felt a warm body holding him, and he felt refreshed, which he did not like in he least, he was sure he should be dead or dieing.

Zelos pushed at the body to get a view of who was holding him, blue eyes met brown.

"Zelos…" Lloyd was still crying. Zelos looked around at the rest of the group, their expressions varied from anger and hatred, to confusion and remorse.

"What…why did you heal me!?" Zelos jumped up "this wasn't meant to happen!"

Zelos ran, well limped to the teleporter and before anyone could stop him he disappeared, leaving the others scratching their heads.

-

"Ah, damn why'd they heal me…" Zelos limped through Welgaia; he'd re-opened his wounds while running from the group. Right now, he thought, Kratos would be helping them out of the traps so now was the best time to get the Aionis. Zelos limped to the store room and he gave his name and rank to the angel there, he then told it to retrieve the Aionis, and that it was not to tell anyone that he'd been there.

Zelos walked back out to the city and propped him self down agenised the wall, looking at the small purple stone in his hand "man I sure hope this stuff works…" he muttered stuffing it back in his pocket. His vision blurred as his pink coat and white jeans started to change into red, his blood. The gashes on his chest and stomach opened even more when ever he moved he could feel his skin tearing. "ugh, man I over did it…Lloyd I'm sorry, I'm really…so-rry" everything went black…

-

"…I'm I to save everyone today…" that voice. Everything was dark but that voice, though faint, brought him back into the light. Zelos felt himself heal, his wounds close, mana being restored. There was warmth; someone was holding his head against their chest, pouring their mana into him. "You will feel better in a moment Zelos, do not struggle" he hadn't noticed he'd been moving. The darkness around him disappeared into light, the light of Welgaia. He could hear magi-tech machines buzz and the low humming from someone's throat.

Zelos opened his eyes to see purple, moving his head a little he could see, and feel auburn hair brushing against his face "Kratos?" the older man looked down at zelos, his eyes were looked tired and sad.

"what...did you-" "mana transfusion" Kratos but in, he helped zelos to his feet making sure he was steady before letting stand on his own.

"Thanks Kratos, but shouldn't you be-" "Lloyds friends are already on their way to hep him, don't worry Zelos everything on my end is fine" Kratos smiled ever so slightly.

Zelos got the Aionis from his pocket and handed it to Kratos, who took it was a nod.

"Our plan was a success then, come we should go help Lloyd" Kratos turned abruptly to walk away, not being one to waist time.

"I…don't think Lloyd would want my help Kratos, I'll sit this one out" Kratos turned back to Zelos, studying him "and truly throw anything form of relationship with Lloyd away…" zelos eyes widened "how did you…" of cause, Kratos knew everything, Zelos didn't know how his did it, but Kratos could easily tell what was going on, Kratos stepped closer to Zelos.

"I know you and Lloyd are in love, and right now he needs you more than you know, and when…when I'm gone, I need you to be with him, to comfort him" Kratos got closer, and then did something very un-Kratos-like, he hugged Zelos

"I'm trusting you to do this for me Zelos…do not throw away your love" trust….

Kratos held Zelos there, it took him a while to realise that Kratos was waiting for a reply "...oh, okay" he felt Kratos smile and move away.

Kratos stepped away and coughed to rid him self of embarrassment

"I apologise" his cheeks where red, a sight rely seen "I did not mean to invade your space"

"what are you talking about Kratos, a hug is a good thing, man we need to work on your people skills, how can you hope to be a father when you act like that" Zelos flashed Kratos a smile, the seraphim wasn't impressed "I see you personality is back on form, I don't understand what my son sees in you. Anyway enough of this, we should got moving" Zelos nodded still smiling Kratos waved his hand and teleported them both to the seen chamber.

yay, krtaos seems ooc to i tried making him more like well him, but i wanted a moment with kratos an zelos, i did originally have kratos kiss zelos on the cheek but its not a Kratos x zeos fic, but i did try to hint at it....

reviews are loved