An Alternate View – Part 2
Entering the cocktail bar was a relief it was warm and inviting, a sharp contrast to the street outside, which was freezing cold and threatening rain. Looking at the drinks board above the bar, my eye is drawn to the 'prosecco offer' emblazoned across the top; I shudder and order a gin and tonic. I haven't touched prosecco since 'that' night, it brings back all the feelings of rage, frustration and humiliation that I felt. I find a seat and set about waiting…
When I went to the villa my mind was focused on revenge. I was hurt and furious at everyone. I knew I still loved Charles and I couldn't bear it that he wanted someone else. Frankly I'm not one of those people who fall apart in such situations, in fact it focuses my mind on what I can do to get what I want – but what the hell could I do?
My initial thought was to stop Charles from seeing Sam – that would teach him! However, whilst it would have given me much satisfaction, it would be a bit like 'cutting off my nose to spite my face' as it would inevitably mean that Charles would hate me and I wouldn't see him at all. So back to the drawing board!
My next thought was maybe getting close to Charles's parents and getting them on my side would be a good move; the only problem with that is I don't think they like me very much. Its never bothered me before, but it might be a bit of a barrier to getting them on my side!
I rapidly came to the conclusion that the only other way of getting close to Charles was through his and our mutual friends. Charles's best friend is called Elvis – ridiculous I know! They met in his early days at Sandhurst and It must be true about opposites attract, because Elvis was everything that Charles was not. Phrases like Jack the Lad, reckless, wild and adrenalin junkie were some of many phrases used to describe Elvis and when he joined Special Forces a while later, it was no surprise to anyone. He got Charles into all sorts of trouble, mainly covering for his 'no shows' I didn't dislike Elvis, but the last thing you want, when you're newly married is a good-looking womaniser being your husbands best friend!
Elvis had a girl in every base and I gave up trying to keep track of them. I remember we went up to London one weekend and stayed with Elvis and a new girlfriend called Debbie or 'Deb' as Elvis called her, we had a really good time, but we had to cut it short, as my parents rang to say that Sam had been sick and was running a high temperature. I left my jacket behind in the hurry to get away, it was a bloody expensive jacket, so when I managed to get back, to retrieve it, a few months later, it was a very different Debbie that greeted me, she was red-eyed and unkempt, with a ghostly pallor. She broke down and said that Elvis had sent her a text saying he had met the girl of his dreams and they were over. Well, Agony Aunt I'm not, but I made her a cup of coffee in the hope it might stop the waterworks. It was a shitty thing to do, but nothing Elvis did surprised me! It took me all morning to extract my jacket and she didn't even drink my coffee, she said the smell made her feel sick – Charming!
Charles was appalled at his treatment of Debbie and was even more appalled when he found out 'the girl of his dreams' was an army medic Elvis had been on tour with. Charles knew of Georgie, but hadn't really had much to do with her. Charles told me Georgie was from Manchester and he had invited her and Elvis over for dinner. Elvis always had decent looking girls, but they could be lairy and a bit course and I had no reason to think Georgie would be any different. To be honest I was a bit out of my comfort zone – I mean what do you give an army girl from the north to eat and what the hell would we talk about? My worries were unfounded and Georgie turned out to be my kind of girl, we bonded over facials, eyebrows and a particular serum we both loved. Elvis was smitten and I approved of his choice.
I had kept in touch with Georgie even after Charles and I went a bit 'Pete Tong' as Elvis liked to put it. So, when I received an invitation to the wedding, just after I returned from the villa, I knew this was an ideal opportunity to be in Charles's company again. I rang Georgie to accept the invitation, I managed to steer the conversation around to the guest list and turned on the charm saying as I only knew Charles, Elvis and herself so could I be sat close to them. I was delighted when she said that obviously Charles, as best man, would be on the top table, but as he wasn't bringing a partner, she was sure after the formalities I would be able to be with him. She said she would put me with her gran which was on the table next to the top table – result! I don't think she had any inkling of my plan or if she did she never said.
The wedding was being held in Manchester Town Hall a huge building in the centre of Manchester. It was architecturally quite imposing, with loads of steps, but not exactly pretty or my kind of venue at all. I knew I looked good, my Stella McCartney outfit was so classy and I turned all their heads when I took my seat. I searched the front row for Elvis and Charles but there was no sign - Oh I hope Elvis hasn't gone to the pub for dutch courage I thought! When Charles appeared at the side of the Registrar and strode purposely down the aisle, closely followed by Georgie's mum, I knew something was up! That deep frown line was scored deeply into Charles's forehead and his face was like thunder. I turned to follow their progress out of the room and saw that Georgie and her Dad were already waiting. They all disappeared out of sight and it was bloody ages before we found out the wedding was off. I was beginning to lose the will to live as Georgie's gran had been talking incessantly about her gas bill and the latest soap she was watching, on a loop. Georgie's dad stood up at the front and said that there had been a problem and the wedding would not be taking place. I was shocked – how humiliating for Georgie! The room was stunned into silence, followed by everyone talking at once. Then Georgie's gran started recruiting a posse to track Elvis down to 'hang his bollocks on the washing line', which I assumed was a euphemism for his castration!
Unfortunately, I never saw Charles again that day, he had apparently had to tell Georgie the bad news and had felt so bad he had accompanied her back home, never to return. That left me high and dry, another plan having bitten the dust.
As I said I'm no agony aunt, so I steered well clear of Georgie. I mean what do you say to someone who has been jilted – not many positives there! I tried to find out what had happened when I dropped Sam off with Charles the next week, but he wouldn't talk about it and said it was none of his or my business if Elvis had changed his mind! He was particularly grumpy and irritated that day as an assessment of his injuries hadn't gone well the day before. I don't suppose running up all those steps last week in Manchester helped!
Gilly , one of my friends rang me just after I had dropped Sam off, inviting me to the opening of her new spa the following Saturday. Irritatingly my parents were away and obviously Sam would have just been to his father's, but I so wanted to go, so when I went to pick Sam up the next day I turned on my best smile and asked if Charles would mind if Sam came to him on the Saturday. He was dressed for gardening, when I arrived, he wore a navy checked shirt and jeans and was busy having a load of instructions given to him by his mother about which shrubs to cut back and which of them should be removed. His mother was on her way out to play golf and was anxious the job was done before she returned. I watched the scene with some delight as Charles looked particularly good in those close fitting jeans and who would have thought gardening gloves could look so hot! Any way he agreed with a grimace, which I put down to his injuries and the prospect of them being aggravated by all of the gardening duties.
Saturday morning dawned bright and clear; I had warned Sam to be a good boy for his dad that day as his leg had been very sore and he was very sad about it. I was somewhat taken aback by the beaming smile Charles wore when he opened the door. He called me Bex and offered me a coffee, something he hasn't done for years. I was so happy! I had to decline the coffee as I was running late, but was buzzing he was being so nice. As I left Charles said he needed to talk to me away from Sam, and could I meet him the next night? I suggested a new cocktail bar that had opened on the high street, which he smiled and agreed to.
On the way to the Spa my mind was working overtime, what on earth could he want to talk to me about? It couldn't be about Sam as we'd both been to Parent Consultations at his school very recently and were very pleased with his progress. Having said that I'm very tempted to go back and ask just what kind of English they are teaching, after Sam's comments last night. I picked him up from After School Tag Rugby training and he said he "might gonna have to stop and get a McDonalds". Firstly, we don't do McDonalds, as I'm hoping he will live beyond forty and secondly experiencing 'gutter' English is not what we're paying those exorbitant school fees for!
I wonder if this was about him leaving the army, Charles's father had let it slip that Charles may never get fit for active service again, which would only leave an army career sitting behind a desk, which I knew Charles would never be able to do. Maybe if he was planning on leaving the army he had realised he wanted Sam and I back as a proper family again. I mean we have both strayed, me with Jed and him with that silly, far too young, medic, that by the way seems to have vanished, so all the things that prevented us being together no longer exist. He was being so nice that must be it, somewhere deep inside a bubble of excitement started to grow.
So here I am waiting, I look up and OMG here he comes. Oh, be still my beating heart, that smile does it for me every time. I wonder how he will ask me to get back together, will he just come out with it, or even properly propose again? My heart is beating so loud and fast I'm sure that he will hear it. He asks me if I want another drink, all I can do is nod.
When he comes back with the drinks, he sits down opposite me and takes my hand – I think I'm going to hyperventilate! Oh for fucks sake! I look up and see his cousin approaching, she stops and nods at me – needless to say Charles has dropped my hand! Turning her attention to Charles she proceeds to regale him with a tale of woe about a traffic warden, eventually coming to the end and finished off by saying "its strange never see you for months then twice in one week." 'I've never seen her for years and I haven't regretted it! She makes to leave, kissing Charles's cheek and saying "it was lovely meeting Molly too" – WHAT! I'm brought back to the present by Charles picking up my hand again. My mind is all over the place, what did she mean?
Charles takes a deep breath and says "Rebecca I'm so pleased that we're on so much better terms than we were and really seem to be connecting again. Getting shot and its effect on my health has made me to look at my life and how I see my future. It has caused me to think that my best course of action is to resign my commission and leave the army" – well bloody hallelujah, I've waited so many years to hear those words, but not wanting to gloat, I nod understandingly. Charles continued "My world has changed, after we divorced I was so lost and felt I would never be happy again, but I can now see a way forward" – Arggh here it comes! "Molly has returned from Afghanistan and come back to me, she has shown me how much I still need the army and understands everything about me. I love her with all my heart and I have asked her to marry me. I hope that you will be happy for me Rebecca and allow Molly to be part of Sam's life".
I open my mouth to speak but nothing comes out. A roaring in my ears drowns out anything else he says. He's wittering on about weddings next year and getting back into training and finding a house near Molly's next posting, he looks animated, alive and excited. I feel like I'm at the bottom of a dark hole. Is that my voice? Its tinny and squeaky and its saying "congratulations". I down my G and T in one and excuse myself, finding refuge in the ladies' cloakroom. My hands are shaking so much I can't even turn the tap on. The cold water on my face brings some semblance of reality back and I take some deep breaths. I've made a mistake! I have under estimated this Molly woman, how can Charles want to marry her? The bitch has also talked him into staying in the army – unforgivable!
I need to go home and process all this information. I think for the first time in my life I know what people mean when they say their heart is broken, I've always thought it was sentimental crap, but it hurts like hell. As I get back into the car I make a promise to myself that no-one will ever do this to me again. I may not figure in Charles's plans for his future, but I sure am going to be part of it while Sam is still young. I hope his new wonder bride has stamina because she's in for a bumpy ride dealing with me. If she thinks I'm going to go quietly she is sadly mistaken!