So I'm going to try to post this one final time....please, if anyone has an issue or problem with my story, please, please email me and tell me. Please don't report it and have it taken down again. I know a lot of people are enjoying this, and it's not fair to have it removed.
My email address is on my profile...please use it.
A/N: Seto will be pretty much OOC in this chapter. Fair warning!
Disclaimer: Yu-Gi-Oh...NOT MINE!
Chapter 2
Seto walked through the front door of his mansion, viciously slamming the door behind him. He stormed towards the stairs, not noticing the ebony head of Mokuba poking around the corner of the living room.
Goddamn mutt, Seto cursed inwardly as he stomped down the hall to his bedroom. Goddamn son-of-a-bitch baka mutt!
He crashed open the door, not caring about the hole the doorknob imprinted in the innocent wall, ripped off his trench coat and flung it at his desk chair, then paced the room, not even noticing the tears that began to flow unheeded down his cheeks.
Who does he think he is calling me a bastard? He thought angrily. I protected him, sheltered him, and gave him everything he wanted. I loved him more than anyone, besides my brother!
He stopped his pacing and sat on the edge of the bed. Slumping his shoulders, he buried his streaming face in his hands.
"How could he?" Seto muttered, his shoulders shaking. "I loved him, GODDAMN IT I LOVE HIM!" he shouted.
Then why did you say that to him? his brain demanded. Why did you deliberately try to hurt him?
"It wasn't me," Seto mumbled aloud, his words muffled by his hands. "I don't know why I said that. It wasn't me. I would never…" he stopped, his chest shuddering with unreleased sobs. "Oh god, what am I going to do?"
Mokuba tapped softly on his brother's door. "Big brother?" he questioned. "Nii-san? Are you ok?"
Seto lifted his head, his sapphire eyes rimmed with red, cheeks streaked with tears. Mokuba rushed over to his brother and grabbed him in a hug.
"Seto! Seto, are you alright?" Mokuba begged. "Please, onii-chan, please be ok!"
Seto hugged Mokuba back, laying his head on his brother's soft hair.
"Mokuba, I – I don't know if I'm alright," he choked. "I – Jou's left me. Jou left me, oh god, Mokie, he's gone!" His slender body shook in anguish, fresh tears welling up in his eyes.
Mokuba clutched his older brother, staring up at him. "Jou's what?" he said in shock. "What happened, Seto?"
With a watery sigh, Seto described the fight between Jou and himself. "Mokie, I don't know what came over me," he said quietly. "It was almost as if I had to hurt him. I didn't want to, but I couldn't stop it. I had no control over myself. And now…" he sighed, propping his chin in his hand. "And now, Jou hates me. And now I've lost him forever."
Mokuba took his brother's hand in his own. "Seto, Jou – he could never hate you," he said softly. "He loves you so much, nii-san. Just tell him the truth, tell him what happened. He'll forgive you."
Seto shook his head. "Mokie, after what I said, I wouldn't even forgive myself," he muttered. "He'll never forgive me. Never."
The doorbell rang, startling both Kaiba brothers. Seto glanced down at the floor, his stormy eyes brimming with unshed tears.
"Th-that will be Jou," he whispered. "Coming to get his th-things."
Mokuba stood and squeezed his brother's hand. "Tell him, Seto," he pleaded. "Don't let go of the best thing that's ever happened to you."
Seto shook his head. "Mokuba, I can't," he whispered. "Please, just let him get his things and go. I can't see him, Mokie. I can't. It'll kill me. Please, just tell him I'm not here."
Mokuba sighed. "All right, onii-chan," he said. "But I think you're wrong. You've got to trust in your love for Jou, and his for you. It's as strong a bond as I've ever seen, and it isn't very easily broken. I believe that you can fix the wrongs between you, but if you feel that you can't, I will honor your wishes."
Mokuba walked to the door, and turned back to look at his older brother. "Just know that you're going to let the greatest treasure in your life walk out on you," he said. "And you let it happen. That's not the Seto Kaiba I know, the brother I admire and love. But I will do as you ask, nii-san." He darted out of the room and raced for the front door as the doorbell rang again.
Seto watched him go. He's wiser than his age, he thought, his haunted eyes proud. But as wise as he is, in this he is wrong. Jou will never forgive me. And I will never forgive myself. I must try to move on.
Standing, he wiped his face and stepped out of the room. He crossed the hall into his study, and quietly closed the door. Crossing the room, he stood before the large window, and resting his heated face on the cool glass, stared out into the dark night. I can never see him again, he thought sadly. Otherwise these memories will torment me forever.
--
Jou stood on the doorstep of his former lover's house, shivering as the icy wind, fragrant with the promise of snow, whipped past him. He lifted a trembling hand to ring the bell, pulling back slightly before his finger touched the button.
I have to do this, he thought, biting his lower lip. He steeled his nerves and rang the doorbell, the cheerful tones echoing inside the house seeming to mock his sadness. Jou shivered again, both from the cold and from the maelstrom of emotions swirling inside of him.
I hate him, the bastard, he thought sadly. How could he say those things to me? I thought he loved me. I gave him everything I had – my heart, my soul, my trust – everything, and he threw it back in my face. I trusted him! I believed he would protect me, that I could trust in him.
"I loved him," Jou muttered, hugging himself, a single tear sliding slowly down his face before freezing on his cheek. "I loved him, GODDAMN IT, I LOVE HIM!" He buried his face in his hands, the tears stinging his eyes.
Not now, Jou, he told himself. Now is not the time to cry. You have to be strong. Just get your things, and get out. He doesn't want you anymore, and you don't need him.
Jou laughed hollowly, knowing the falsehood of his last statement. Who am I kidding? He thought sadly. I need him more than anything. I love him more than anyone, besides my sister. But I can never have what it is that I want. I've just got to be strong and move on.
He swiped at his eyes and rang the bell again. He could hear thunderous footsteps racing towards the door, and, forming his face into a cheerful smile, he steeled himself to face the person about to open the door.
If it's Mokuba, I can't let the little squirt know what's wrong. If it's Seto…oh god, please don't let it be Seto. I can't see him again, I just can't. Otherwise I will never be able to forget. The memories will torment me forever.
--
Mokuba yanked the door open to face the smiling Jounouchi. He stepped back to allow Jou to enter, and frowned up at the blonde.
"Heya Mokester!" Jou said cheerfully, ruffling the younger boy's hair. "Nice to see ya."
Mokuba creased his brow and crossed his arms. "Jou, I know everything," he said, a bit put out by the older boy's seemingly happy attitude. "I know what happened between you and my brother, and why it is that you are here."
Jou's smile slid off his face. "You – you know?" he said dully. "Seto – he told you?"
Mokuba nodded. Jou's brow creased as he fought back his emotions. "Is – is he here, Mokuba?"
Mokuba opened his mouth to answer, and then closed it again slowly. He shook his head. "No, Jou, he's not," he said, lowering his eyes. "He left about ten minutes ago."
Jou clenched his trembling fists. Get a hold of yourself, Katsuya, he scolded himself. It's a good thing he's not here.
"Squirt, I'm just gonna….just gonna get my things and go, ok?" he said softly, placing a hand on Mokuba's shaggy head, before heading upstairs to the room he had shared with Seto.
Opening the door, he stopped dead in the doorway, his breath coming in shallow gasps. Oh god, I don't think I can do this, he thought miserably, grasping the doorknob for support. He lowered his head, his chest aching, his nose stinging sharply with repressed tears.
He lifted his head, and, taking a deep breath, entered the room he once shared with his only love. He slowly opened the closet door and reached for his battered khaki duffel bag. He placed the bag on the edge of the desk, and began filling it with his clothing and personal items. Stepping over to the bed, he sat on the edge of it, and lifted a silver framed picture off the nightstand. His fingers lovingly traced the edges of the frame as he stared at the photo of Seto and himself in front of a log cabin. The two were smiling, their arms wrapped around the other's waist, as they faced each other. Jou's eyes glazed over as a powerful flash of memory suddenly overwhelmed his mind.
(Flashback)
Jou laughed as he grabbed Seto's hand, pulling him towards a lakeside dock. The two boys and Mokuba had taken a weekend trip to the mountain cabin Seto owned, and Jou planned to enjoy every second he had with Seto. It was rare that the elder Kaiba took vacation time, and both Mokuba and Jou were thrilled beyond belief to be able to share such free time with him.
Mischievously, he pushed Seto off the dock, laughing as he watched his lover pinwheel backwards into the cold water. Seto crashed into the lake, popping up seconds later, spouting water.
"You are so dead, pup!" he laughed, shaking his sopping hair and grabbing the edge of the dock to pull himself up. As he grabbed the edge, the dock tilted sideways, and with a shout, Jou lost his balance and tumbled into the water with a large splash. Seto smiled as Jou surfaced beside him. He grabbed the blonde and lifted him into his arms, twirling him around.
Jou threw his arms around Seto's neck, laughing wildly as he was spun around. Seto grinned down at him and, with a heave, tossed him back into the water before swimming powerfully back to the shore. Jou surfaced a few seconds later, his blonde mop of hair plastered to his head, rubbing his eyes. He tossed back his hair and glared at Seto, who was stretched out on his beach towel, laughing.
"What's the matter, Jou?" Seto laughed. "I thought puppies enjoyed swimming."
Jou paddled back to the beach, and, with a flounce, tossed himself down on his towel and crossed his arms.
Seto smirked at him. "What's the matter, is my puppy mad at me?" he snickered. Jou stuck out his lower lip in a pout, and Seto laughed.
"Oh don't be mad, koi," he grinned, sitting up and pulling Jou onto his lap. "What's the matter, pup, cat got your tongue?"
Jou grinned. "No, but I've got yours," he said, flinging his arms around Seto's neck and kissing him fiercely.
(End Flashback)
What's the matter pup, cat got your tongue?
No, but I've got yours…
I've got yours…
I've got…
Jou snapped back to reality as he felt the heavy frame tumbling from his fingers. He gasped as the picture hit the floor, the glass shattering. Jou knelt next to the bed, picking up the broken pieces of glass. He lifted the photo from the frame, and brushing off the remaining shards of glass, gently placed it in his bag. Tossing the broken glass into the wastepaper basket, he stood and zipped his duffle. As he went to pick the bag up, his eyes fell on the trench coat draped haphazardly over the nearby computer chair.
His hands automatically reached for it, clutching it to his chest. He lifted the coat to his face, pressing his cheek to the fabric, and inhaled the faint aroma of Seto. Tears slipped out of his eyes, and, not able to fight it any more, he fell to his knees with a wail, burying his face in the coat, his body shaking with muffled sobs. He cried for several minutes, until his body felt empty, husked out, his eyes stinging and his face red and hot. Jou stood and, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand, went to place the coat back on the chair. He paused. Unzipping his bag with a decisive air, he folded the trench coat and placed it in his bag.
Shouldering the bag, he turned and opened the bedroom door. With a final sigh, he let his eyes wander around the room, drinking in the sight for the final time.
Goodbye Seto Kaiba, he thought, closing the door with a soft click. I hope that in time, we will both learn to love again. Jou knew that for himself, that wish was an impossible dream. He would never allow his heart to beat for another soul again.
A/N: Oh my goodness, another sad chapter! Will it ever get happier for Jou and Seto? I can't promise, since Marik will be coming into this story soon hehe. Anyway, please R&R, pretty please?