A/N: Sorry for the amount of OC's^^ They just live in my head^^ Happy birthday, Light and a friend of mine who isn't likely to ever read this (she's not into fanfiction and/or lemonX3)!! I don't care if I'm one day too early, I love you, guys^^ (Btw, I noticed something about people who are born at Feb 28th: They look so sweet and innocent, but when you get to know them better, they're so EVIL!! Too bad only cute little Schorpio-kiddies will ever notice it)

Yeah, we were having fun during BiologicsXD

2. Bet

"No, I do not wish to have sex with you. You're annoying."

"C'mon, you know you want to…You're a sex monster and deep inside you want to jump me, baby."

"No, I don't want to. You're not sexy and even if I were a sex monster, I'd not even consider copulating with you."

"Come on, sexy baby, you know the price if you do this…I can only leave after you stuck together with me for one month, including sex whenever I wanted to…"

"That is NOT true, I never signed for that, and I believe I was the one who wrote the contract. I checked it and you couldn't have written anything on it. No sex for you, POOR."

"Aww…"

L clenched his fists. Yoki. He'd met him two weeks ago, when he'd been bored out of his mind and wanted something to make things more interesting. And ta-dah, Yoki had showed up in a café he'd sat down to read articles about nonsense (Paris Hilton), and dared L to stick with him for a month. The deal was: Stick with Yoki for a month and he'd leave L alone after that. Ignore Yoki and he'd follow you anywhere, stalk you and rape you when you didn't expect it. This was rated 'sexual intimidation', therefore a crime and it would've been too damn easy to just stand up and disappear there were Yoki would never be able to find him, but L wouldn't be L if he wouldn't accept the challenge, and he wondered if things would get more interesting now. Plus, he'd be so happy if Yoki were gone that he could probably enjoy life more than he'd ever done before.

So now, L had to be together with Yoki for a full month. Two weeks had passed already, two weeks where L and Yoki had been fighting over anything possible to fight over, things L had never expected to ever fight about. Things he didn't even hold for possible to fight about. Yes. There were things in the world L didn't know you could fight about. Apparently.

He slapped Yoki's hands away from his waist and slouched over to the coffee table to grab his coffee and take it to the bathroom. Yoki had a small bathroom with a combined bath and shower, and L always had a hard time ignoring the black dots of mold everywhere on the wall. The dirt Yoki seemed to bring with him everywhere didn't make it any better and L, being a clean freak and spoiled kid ever since he was born, definitely wasn't used to this. You were supposed to feel clean after you left the bathroom, right…? But he had to stay with Yoki, and that meant being in this filthy apartment for a month. He'd sent Watari on vacation and announced he'd take a break for a month, over a month (twee weeks, from now) there would be enough interesting cases to solve again. Sounded mean for the world, but L had a life too.

…Stop laughing, please.

L took the shampoo Yoki used (shampoo for fat hair, budget brand, but L's locks looked way softer now. His hair wasn't fat; it had just looked like it. Not anymore…) and kneaded it in his hair. A wonder he hadn't been raped yet. Yoki was…Eww. He was three inches shorter than L, short red hair and big green eyes with maliciousness shining in them, but not the sort that aroused L. This was just plain annoying. He had sticky and soggy hands, and he groped L every minute he could. His face was getting blue due to all the kicks L had given him, but he didn't care. Groping L was the lust in his life, it seemed.

L washed all the shampoo out of his hair, took a sip of the coffee he'd put next to the shower and took some shower gel to wash every spot those soggy fingers had touched him. His arms, his back, his butt, his legs, even his crotch. That bitch-

"Ryuuuu!! I have caaaake for yooooou and you can come and get it, but first I want some aaaass!!"

BITCH-

L suddenly felt something sharp in his hand and experienced that low-budget bottles were easy to break with one hand, if you squeezed hard enough. It bled and stung horribly, and L hissed when he washed the shampoo off. He needed to see a doctor, that was clear, but he wanted to win this bet and he had to bring Yoki with him…!

He took some disinfectant serum and smeared it around the wound carefully, hissing again when a drop of water seeped in it. A-h-h, this was painful…A towel, he had to get dried, he definitely wouldn't show up in front of Yoki while naked and dripping. He just felt a little cleaner…

He took some bandage from out of the closet and tied it around his hand carefully, trying to stop the bleeding. It worked after a while, and L wrapped as many towels around himself as he could manage, to walk to the bedroom.

…To find Yoki examining his underwear.

"Wow, size L?! You have something with that letter, isn't it?! It's way too wide for you!! Oh, wait, you need it for…"

Those green eyes slid to that what they couldn't see due to the eight towels wrapped around L's body. L knew he was undressing him in his head. That little pervert..!!

"Let me help you, Ryu, I like to see those ankles, but rather I'd see your-"

L watched in contentment as Yoki gripped to his own balls after L's foot had made contact with them. Satisfying, to see that little creep cringing at his feet. He took a step back to prevent him from peek under the towels.

"No way, Yoki, we're going to a doctor. I hurt myself and I have to have this wound sutured. Go away, I need to dress up."

Yoki laughed while still cringing in pain.

"Hah-Ah!! Hahaha, yes, you and your L-boxers, what did you do, rip your cock off while fantasizing about m-AH!! m-me, you dirty perv-AH!!"

L had occasionally kicked Yoki in the face twice, and Yoki glued his eyes to what had to be L's crotch under the towels.

"Hey, gi-ah, that hurt- gimme a light, 'kay, I wanna see your-"

"-Foot against the bridge of your nose, am I right, Yoki?" L murmured. Yoki cringed in pain once again when he felt the ball of L's mean left foot there where L had announced he'd kick him.

"Yoki, we're going to see a doctor, NOW. Dress up and leave. N. O. W."

"Okay, okay, don't need to spell it out for me like that…I'm not stupid…"

L rolled his eyes.

"You're not a genius either. LEAVE. NOW."

Yoki crept to a pile of clothes lying on the ground (if there was one big thing that L and Yoki both lacked, it was cleaning and tidying skills. Both sucked at it, and it resulted in this big mess) and took some clothes off it, leaving L alone. L locked the door, took a glance in the mirror and sighed. He looked like a very cute blue pineapple.

Meaning, a very cute blue pineapple.

He threw all the towels off and stared at his own body in the mirror. His fists were bruised and his surroundings didn't fit him. There was also a small bruise on his butt, where Yoki had pinched him too hard. That little bitch…His hand was packed in bandage, and little drops of red became visible through the white material.

He sighed again and picked up his clothes. This was going to be another very long day.

***

"Cutieeee!!! How is your old man doing?!"

Light laughed and hugged Dex tighter than usual when he saw the neon purple hair of his friend appear in the crowd. He'd missed him; he hadn't seen Dex too much often since he and Hikaru were together. Hikaru found him childish and exaggerating. It was true, but that was what Light liked about Dex. He was honest and he could be serious and comforting, and he knew better than anyone else how to cheer Light up. Such a luck they were friends. They'd met each other in a clothing shop; Dex had told him he needed to wear more red. They chatted and had a click, and Dex appeared to be brilliant too, though he was brilliant because of his creativity. He hated learning, and started studying design and fashion industry. He was intelligent, sure, but he didn't want to do 'boring things'. Light had never met anyone with a sense of humor like Dex's, and soon they became friends. Before Light had came out of the closet, he'd always been jealous at Dex because he had boyfriends, fun and love (if you didn't take the meaning of that word too seriously). Now it was different, Light knew that he'd always be more serious and picky than his neon-loving friend, and Light had a boyfriend too, now.

Though you'd better forget about the 'fun'. Hikaru had a funny sense of humor, but he definitely didn't know how to make 'fun'. He knew how to make good ravioli with salmon…He didn't know how to make love either.

Why was he so hard on Hikaru…? He always smiled so compassionate at Light, he loved him and he cared for him…

"Yoru, you need to get laid harshly!! You look bad, do you hug enough?! Hey!!"

Light startled when Dex waved in front of his face. He was used to people doing that, but he felt a pang in his chest when he realized Dex was right. He didn't hug enough. He smiled weakly.

"I don't. Gimme a hug, Dexie."

Light pulled his friend close again and crushed him in an embrace. A hug, a hug, a hug, a hug…!! Finallyyy…He needed this. He'd always been distant, but since two years ago Light had started loving physical contact and it had even became like oxygen for him. Without, he just didn't function optimally.

He realized more than ever that Hikaru couldn't give that to him.

"Yoru, your old man doesn't hug you enough, right?!"

'Yoru'. Night. A complicated pun on Light's name. 'Yagami', evening God, which Dex had turned into 'Yorugami', Night God. Of course, referring to Light being a sex god. He and Dex had never done things like that, though, and both wanted it to stay that way… But because 'Yorugami' had been too long, it changed in 'Yoru'. Or it was just Light, rhyming with 'night', Dex' English being not so great and therefore being translated back into Japanese. Dex didn't even realize what he was saying anymore, Light was sure.

And he always called Hikaru 'old man'. Hikaru was eight years older, and Dex had pointed out in the very beginning of Light's relationship with him that he found him too old. Not because of his age, Dex did things with men twice as old as him, but because of his mind. "That man just has an old brain", was what Dex always told him. Light indeed knew it, and liked the intelligent conversations he had with his love. But outside of those, he was too 'old' to have some fun with Dex and his friends. Light was obviously the younger of the two, the pretty girl who only married the old man for his money. The young Ancient-Greek boy who had to be overloaded with presents before the old man could have his love returned.

Yeah, that had been different, once…

"I swear you, Ryu was way better for you!! Look at you!! You're a mummy!! Wooooh, I'm untoooouched, hug meeeeee!!"

Light couldn't but smile when his friend pointed his arms forward and punched a few passing people in their faces. He remembered they still were in a busy street full of fancy stores, and pulled at Dex' arm. "Dex, let's go, okay?"

Dex jumped, making him look like a madman, smiled and winked at a guy who looked at him anxiously.

Definitely straight.

Dex didn't seem to mind, either.

"Come on, Yoruuu!! No idea why you stick with The 40-Year-Old Virgin, but let's spice it up a little!! Let's go in here!!"

Dex had grabbed Light's arm and pulled him into a sex shop, and Light blushed heavily. A sex shop, what would Hikaru think when he-

Right, he wasn't with Hikaru now. Phew.

…Why was he so happy about that…?

Light still had to admit he found it funny to be in a sex shop. Dex always wanted to go in a sex shop when they were shopping together. Some inspiration for the next thing he should do with his lover…

Hikaru.

Light suddenly felt really useless in the shop littered with dildo's, porn DVD's and leather. Hikaru wouldn't even be turned on by any of this, he was sure…

"Here, look at this!!"

Dex was searching between the flavored condoms and took one with cappuccino taste out of it.

"Something for that workaholic of you, maybe?! Let him try it during his lunch, bet he'll love it!!"

Light laughed. Cappuccino?

"Do they also have double espresso, extra fine?"

Dex looked through the flavors. "Yes!! Here!!"

Light wondered if it would help any. Hikaru had insisted on testing them both on sexual diseases (both: negative, of course) but he still didn't want oral or anal sex. Light had never seen a condom closer to him than the safe distance of four feet between Hikaru and the shelves where the condoms were stored in shops.

Boring…

…He could always try it. Dex smiled and put three of the double espresso-condoms on the counter, to take his wallet.

"A little present from me, for you!! Make sure to have fun with them, okay?"

Light laughed and hugged Dex, to receive a peck on his cheek. They were always like that; people had asked more often if they were a couple. "Who knows…" was the standard answer. Most of the time people knew they were joking, but Hikaru hadn't found it funny. He hadn't found any of Light's friends funny. He never said so, but his face always told them to 'grow up'. He felt way older and more responsible than them…

…Dex was so, so right.

Light closed his eyes for a second and opened them again, to see himself in one of the mirrors hanging in the shop he was in currently. He looked insecure. Not like how he'd looked before. He knew Hikaru wasn't good for him, so why, why didn't he just leave him…?

Love was a cruel thing.

***