Chapter Two: The Rest-Stop...OF DOOM!

A/N: Thank you all so much for your wonderful reviews!

!PLEASE READ THIS!

Okay, I do NOT mean to insult or ridicule ANYONE in particular. In fact, I am only doing this for fun. It started out as a silly little piece that I wanted to post to MAKE PEOPLE LAUGH. It is a PARODY, NOT a bashing. I bash NO ONE.

ALSO: Do not expect me to conform to parodying "Rules". This is for FUNit is not (as I said) a bashing or a ridiculing. Fun, FUN people. Remember that.

Any...way... Enjoy the fic.! I'LL GET YOU THOSE WAFFLES–I PROMISE!

(THIS IS A SCENE CHANGING DEVICE!)

In Van Number One, hereafter referred to as 'V1', things weren't much better.

"Look at that barn! I've seen that barn THREE TIMES already!" Duke fumed sexily.

"I think we're lost." Setp Kaiba intoned darkly.

"No DUH, Kaiba!" Tea huffed...huffily. Duke turned to her.

"Tea, get on your cell-phone and call Marik. Ask him what the heck's goin' on."

And so she did! Because–WHAT? Are you actually expecting a PLOT here?

"Uh, hi, Marik... Yeah, the barn. Where are we? ...Oh... Don't you have a map?" A piercing scream issued from the phone. "Oh. Well, why don't YOU just pull over and read it?"

"I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!" Mokuba called from the backseat.

"Yeah, Mokuba has to go, anyway. Is there a place to stop up ahead?"

As if on cue (MWAHAHAHA! MAY-BEH it IS!) A sign reading 'Rest Stop–Two Miles' appeared before them.

"Okay, we'll see you there." Tea clicked the phone off and turned to Duke. "There's a rest-stop ahead."

"I hate rest stops." Seto intoned darkly. But Seto hated almost everything, so no one really cared. Except for Mokuba, who nodded in agreement.

"Me too, but it's better than holding it or...you know."

Yugi and Pharaoh, despite being in the middle of all this, had remained strangely silent until now. "Do you have to go too, Pharaoh?" Yugi asked in his friendly, concerned manner.

Pharaoh, who had not had his own body for over 5,000 years, and who hadn't really thought about 'going' for said amount of time, and who was now feeling quite ashamed for having for having forgotten, among everything else in his past life, how TO go, replied strangely, "I just don't remember anymore..."

Everyone was vaguely disturbed.

(THIS IS A SCENE CHANGING DEVICE!)

"PUBLIC REST-ROOMS!" Pegasus gasped in horror, "Do you even KNOW how FILTHY they are?"

Dartz was also ticked, "Do you have any idea who I AM? I could have DESTROYED YOU INSTANTLY, but I spared you! And THIS is the thanks I get?"

Weevil didn't care. Maybe going to the bathroom would ease the pain in his lonely, bug-like heart.

Yami Marik wondered what he was going to do with his cape. He hoped those stall doors had the little coat hooks on them.

(THIS IS A SCENE CHANGING DEVICE!)

About 10 minutes later, the two vans pulled over to a shabby, dilapidated rest-stop. Mokuba, who was by now in immense discomfort, practically rocketed from VI and into the bathrooms. Everyone else came out slowly. Well, except Pegasus, who decided he'd rather get it over with quickly. Why? Maybe it's because he has SILVER hair! Silver...LIKE A SPORTS CAR! Ahahahahah!

...Whatever.

Yugi and a despondent Pharaoh headed in next, followed by creepy Weevil, while Yami Marik hollered because now he'd have to WAIT to go. AGH! INJUSTICE!

Seto Kaiba stood uncomfortably outside the door to Mokuba's stall. Why was he there? Well, he had to protect his BROTHER, of course! Mokuba might flush himself down the toilet or something! And Seto would never forgive himself if he let that happen...again.

Dartz stood far away from the bathrooms, reminding himself that he was a Dark Lord of Spooky Evil, and he didn't NEED to use the bathroom. Even if he really, REALLY DID. He took his mind off it by assaulting the locals. "You there! Park squirrel! Go do my bidding!"

The squirrel chattered, running off in a random direction and twitching. Dartz sneered in disgust at it's blatant disobedience. "I trusted you... and THIS is how you repay me? FOOL!"

Weevil lingered on the grass, sadly picking up a beetle. "My only friends are bugs... " he mourned, "Well, bugs and Rex. ...But I don't know where he is... I'M SO ALONE!"

Poor little nerd. I would be his friend, but, naaaahhh...

Meanwhile, Yugi was waiting outside of his yami's stall. "So...you almost done?"

Pharoah had no idea whether he was or not, so he mumbled unintelligently.

"Are you...okay?" Yugi pressed.

"I'll be out soon." He sighed. "Now, where does THAT go?"

"What?"

"...Nothing..."

Beside Yugi and Pharaoh was Yami Marik in HIS little stall, trying to hang his gigantic cape and avoid falling into the toilet at the same time. "RRRRRR!" He growled, just before tripping and plummeting backwards, "NOOOOOO!"

The fall was spectacular... The splash was inspired... The whole incident would have been talked about for GENERATIONS, had anybody actually seen it, and Yami Marik felt as if he had become one with the porcelain throne!

In other words...

He was stuck good.

Yugi, who had heard Yami Marik's screams, looked toward his door in concern and watched as about ten gallons of water flowed out from beneath it. "Are YOU okay, Yami Marik?"

"NO, YOU FOOL! I'M STUCK !" he howled, "Go get Marik!"

"But–" Yugi was torn, "Pharaoh–"

"I'll be fine, Yugi." Came Pharaoh's depressed voice.

(THIS IS A SCENE CHANGING DEVICE!)

Marik and Tea were busy looking over 'The Map'. Suddenly, Dora The Explorer music began to play...

"It's the map, it's the map, it's the map, it's the map, IT'S THE MAP!"

But they weren't paying attention, "And so, if we go West, we should reach the other side of the world by JANUARY!"Marik said like Spongebob Squarepants.

"Uh-huh!" Tea exclaimed moronically, because, besides droning on about friendship all the time, that was all she was good for.

"Marik! Marik!" Came Yugi's panicked shout, "Yami Marik's stuck in the toilet!"

Marik sighed, "Not AGAIN! That stupid cape of his!" and marched off toward the bathrooms.

(THIS IS A SCENE CHANGING DEVICE!)

"So...you're stuck in the toilet?" Pharaoh asked, since it was just the two of them.

"Yeah..." Yami Marik heaved a big sigh. "...At least my cape is dry."

"That's good."

"It is."

"Would it help if you had your Millennium Rod?"

"It might." Yami Marik's voice perked up. "Why? Do you have it?"

"No."

"...Oh."

"Sorry."

"It's okay..."

"Oh, here comes someone."

"I hope it's Marik."

"Hm..."

And it WAS Marik! And pretty soon, Yami Marik was free! HUZZAH!

He grabbed his cape and stalked outside, his hikari following him and shaking his head. "You and that cape..."

Yugi stood impatiently outside Pharaoh's stall once again. "Pharaoh! We have to get going!"

"Just a minute."

"No, NOW!"

"Fine..." The door opened, and Pharaoh stepped out with a pained look on his face.

"What TOOK you TWO HOURS and FIFTY-SIX minutes to go to the BATHROOM?"

He hung his abnormally spiky head. "I had...trouble."

Yugi frowned, and the two washed their hands and headed out.

(THIS IS A SCENE CHANGING DEVICE!)

Duke sat in V1, looking sexy as ever. He hadn't gone to the bathroom, because sexy people...just didn't.

Instead, he pondered as to why he didn't have his own chapter yet.

(THIS IS A SCENE CHANGING DEVICE!)

A/N: Hey, everyone! Hope you enjoyed this! AND I'LL GET YOU THE WAFFLES! AGH! AGH! (runs off screaming)