Okay people. I have actually FINISHED this supposed one-shot with the help of my lovely gorgeous cousin (not), who is now looking at me with a horrified expression. All random ideas or hateful things toward the lovely Severus Snape is credited to her. Look forward to the side story about two certain incidents in this story.

"Well. That was entertaining Master Snape!" Said a portly man who belonged in the portrait in the dining room, even though he was following Snape through the halls. Snape didn't want to hear it.

Potter's life should have been kept to himself. Who needed to know about him kissing Cho Chang. Why had the girl started girl starting to sob all over that Potter? 'Well' Snape thought to himself, 'it is Potter she was kissing. No wonder she was crying.'

The questioning had started out fine. The basic questions had been asked.

Did you steal ingredients?

Were you in love with Diggory?

Have you ever snogged Granger?

Did you have an illicit relationship with the Weasel?

Did the Dursleys beat you?

Were you a pampered fool?

Have you ever spent time as a one-eyed, one-horned flying purple people eater?

A no, yes, maybe so, possibly, sometimes, not!, yes followed. Then both the questions and answers started getting stranger as Snape ran out of things to inquire. He wracked his brain, had he the curiosity, there may have been a whole slew of them, but he had spent years trying not to think about Harry Potter, or his disgusting father, James, so it was more difficult. It's true what they say, old habits die hard.

What ended the questioning was the response to a question that should not have been asked, or answered.

But the silly professor did not know what was good for his mental stability, and aided by the Veritersatum Harry had no way to not answer.

"What is your true, honest and complete opinion of me?"

The portraits fainted, one by one like a line of dominos.

"In all honesty, I think that you are a creepy, nosy old coot who harbors grudges for longer than they should be held, and who must be having an affair with Dumbledore for him to keep you so long. Oh, and there's something in your nose."

Severus Snape was at loss for words for the second time in his life. The first had to do with some interesting events pertaining to a rubber duck. Never had someone ever accused him of doing such a base, vile thing in his life. Well, there was the rubber duck incident, but that was an altogether different story.

Slightly muffled by his pasty hand, which was now clutching his over-sized nose, he muttered, "Why would you ever think that?!!?!?!?!?"

Harry trembled and tried to keep his mouth shut, but eventually, the power of that abominable potion forced his mouth open.

"I was in your bathtub, and I heard him talking to you…" he tried again in vain to keep his mouth closed, but to his horror, his voice was heard again.

"He said that he had a really fun time last night, and asked if you could do it again sometime." Harry said, his voice strangled as he remembered the tone of Dumbledore's voice.

A million questions ran through Snape's mind, but somehow, the one that popped out was "You were in my bathtub?"

"Uh, well you see…" Harry stammered. "I was hiding from Colin Creevey, he demanded a nude photo, and wouldn't let me alone until he got one, and then there was this tapestry that I tried to hide behind. And wouldn't you know it, but there was a secret passageway to a bathroom. "

"Then, I heard someone coming towards the bathroom door, and I dove into the tub. Turns out it was you and Dumbledore."

Snape's greasy hair nearly stood on its ends. What had Potter heard that made him believe that he and the Headmaster were doing anything non-camp appropriate?

Oh. Yes. There had been the time when they had acted like children, brewing some cheering potions that went awry. That had been amusing enough to even make a smile come upon Snape's face.

But how could that have been taken so badly? Unless Potter had not heard the whole conversation… (Which he hadn't. As soon as heard that little tidbit, he got out of the tub so fast, he slipped and fell.)

Snape had had enough. It was time for this "interview" to end. He walked forth, gave Potter the antidote, and left the dining room with a shocked expression. Potter was most definitely not who he thought he was.

Harry sat in the dining room for a bit longer. How could that interrogation gone so wrong? What had happened to his marvelous plan of to make Snape no longer hate him to such an extreme? Then he had to open his mouth about the whole Headmaster/Snape suspicion that was really only something that he had made up to amuse himself.

The summer was going to be horribly long now, but at least the Manor was large enough that they could easily avoid the other. Ugh. How embarrassing.

Now he was going to have to go apologize to Snape and hope he was merciful. (Not likely).