1000 Ways To Die

by Silver Sheilds

Death is everywhere. Most of us try to avoid it, others can’t get out of its way. There are lots of ways to end up dead. The fact that we survive at all is a miracle, because every day we live, we face 1000 WAYS TO DIE.”

2. 666: Pain in the Ass

Chapter 2: Way to die #666: Pain in the Ass

They say that the elderly are kind, gentle, and warmhearted souls. But if you worked in a nursing home, you would think otherwise. Especially if you were taking care of Bernard. Bernard has Alzheimer's Disease, making him forgetful, irritable, and extremely aggressive. To make it worse, he has some anger management issues which didn't take much to set him off. Sometimes, Bernard would attack someone for no reason, his habits included throwing food whenever it was given to him, throwing his incontinence pads at the nurses whenever they try to change him after he's taken a dump, and he would even attack someone for no reason. Bernard was a CNA's absolute worst nightmare, however, they kept him in the nursing home because his family paid them over a hundred thousand dollars a year to care for him.

Alzheimer's, is the most common form of dementia. This incurable, degenerative, and terminal illness was first described by German psychiatrist Alois Alzheimer in 1906 and was named after him. Although each sufferer experiences Alzheimer's in a unique way, there are many common symptoms. In the early stages, the most commonly recognized symptom is memory loss, such as difficulty in remembering recently learned facts. When a doctor or physician has been notified, and AD is suspected, the diagnosis is usually confirmed with behavioral assessments and cognitive tests, often followed by a brain scan if available. As the disease advances, symptoms include confusion, irritability and aggression, mood swings, language breakdown, long-term memory loss, and the general withdrawal of the sufferer as their senses decline. Gradually, bodily functions are lost, ultimately leading to death. Basically, it's different for all Alzheimer's patients, they can do the most outrageous things which would disgust just about everyone. They are very unpredictable and very obscene sometimes because they are not in their right state of mind.

One night, a male CNA was doing a routine checkup with Bernard. After taking his heartbeat, blood pressure, and pulse, along with some resistance, it was time to take his temperature. And since the CNA knew that Bernard would most likely resist to oral thermometers, axillary thermometers, and tympanic thermometers, he decided to bring out the big guns, a rectal thermometer.

Rectal temperature-taking, especially if performed by a person other than the patient, should be facilitated with the use of lubricant. Although rectal temperature is the most accurate, this method may be considered embarrassing in some countries or cultures, especially if used on patients older than young children; and, if not taken the correct way, a rectal temperature-taking can be uncomfortable and in some cases painful for the patient.

But this was the only way he could take Bernard's temperature without much resistance, or so he thought. When he took off Bernard's pad and was about to stick the thermometer into his anus, he resisted. Thinking it would help, the CNA explains the method of how to use the thermometer. However, Bernard grabs it from him and tries to do it himself. Trying to get it back from Bernard, the CNA struggles with him, but it's too late. Bernard quickly sticks it into his bong hole. Unfortunately, it's better to leave it to the professionals. Bernard began to bleed then he quickly passed out. When Bernard stuck the thermometer into his buttocks, he did it too quick and too far, causing him too accidentally stab himself in the inferior rectal artery.

The inferior rectal artery arises from the internal pudendal artery as it passes above the ischial tuberosity. Piercing the wall of the pudendal canal, it divides into two or three branches which cross the ischioanal fossa, and are distributed to the muscles and integument of the anal region, and send offshoots around the lower edge of the gluteous maximus to the skin of the buttock. They anastomose with the corresponding vessels of the opposite side, with the superior and middle rectal arteries, and with the perineal artery. When he stabbed himself there, blood kept pumping from the heart to the inferior rectal artery.

This was the situation the CNA was trying to prevent from what he knew in his medical training. He quickly left the room to inform the doctor. Bernard was sent to intensive care, but he died on the way to the hosptal due to excessive blood loss.