Hey everyone! Ichigo Kousei here! Due to high demand, I've decided to continue I'm Not Him! ^W^ Thank you to everyone who reviewed and/or added this story to their favorites list, or just simply read the 1st chapter all the way to the end, it means a lot! I especially want to thank a7xisbest for reviewing, no one has ever called me a good writer before and it made me feel super happy! :D

Anyway, I hope you like the 2nd chapter as much as you guys like the 1st enjoy!

I'm Not Him: Chapter 2

Hatred

"Kaoru, here are some notes on the trigonometry problems you were having trouble with, go over them with Hikaru, they should help." Mori-Senpai handed me a black note book, I quickly flipped through it, glancing over the pages, and found it was filled with neatly written trig notes that he must of written down when he took the class. I was grateful for the notes, they would come in handy, but the last thing I would do right now is thank the man who just stripped away my dignity, and made me feel like I was so much less of a person, but rather more of an item. An item that was used for nothing more than a sick desire, for the pleasure of a sick man.

"I want you to come again tomorrow," Mori continued, his deep voice mumbling in my ear. "So I can make sure you are not continuing to struggle with your trigonometry class." The dark haired man kissed the nape of my neck softly, and mumbled into the sensitive skin there. "Well that and other things, oh and come alone. We wouldn't want Hikaru to become jealous of the passionate relationship we share would we?" Mori chuckled darkly, sending chills coursing down my spine.

At that moment I detested four things with a burning passion:

1.) Of course I detested Takashi Morinozuka, I mean he was the one who raped me. How could he cut away at my soul, and ignore my cries of pain and protest, and then go on as if he has done nothing wrong, and show no signs of compassion or regret?

2.) I loathed Mitsukuni Huninozuka for being so innocent, and unsullied. I mean if Hunny-Senpai didn't put on the god damned cutesy act all the time, maybe Mori wouldn't deem the blonde, Lolita-boy untouchable, and he would be able to confess his love to Hunny-Senpai. I know this is a rather irrational reason to hate someone, but I was just filled with so much resentment, and confusion for my brain to function properly, much less come up with reasonable reasons to despise someone.

3.) It tore me apart to admit it, but I simply couldn't stand Hikaru Hitachiin, my own brother. I mean don't get me wrong, Hikaru means the world to me, but he let Mori-Senpai do this to me. And if Hikaru would of just come with me to Mori's home, instead of just sitting at home playing video games, he could protected me.

4.) Out of all these things that pierced my heart, scaring it, making me incapable to ever be able to love, or fully trust someone ever again, I greatly despised myself, Kaoru Hitachiin. I hated everything and anything about myself. Mori had me convinced that I was a whore, and that I nothing short of loved the attention he paid to me that night. I hated how naïve I was to the fact that Mori-Senpai was a man, and like every man he had needs that needed to be taken care of, I just never would of imagined that Mori-Senpai would do something like this to me.

"Kaoru, you need to get dressed and leave." Mori remarked coldly as he tossed my boxers, and black bottoms towards me. I was so deep in thought that I didn't realize I still sat on Mori's bed, legs spread, giving my molester a perfect view of my abused, and violated hole. "Unless you want to go again Mitsukuni?" Mori whispered as he cupped my balls in one hand and caressed my cheek with the other.

I whimpered in fear, and pulled away from Mori-Senpai's sensual touches. I quickly dressed myself and combed my orange, disheveled hair, I can't recall a time when I acted as quickly as I did then. I Pulled my coat back on, and grabbed my school bag, and the notes Mori-Senpai had lent me before quickly shuffling out of Mori's room, down the stairs, and outside into the limo that was waiting for me.

The driver saw the tears in my eyes and looked more than a little concerned for my wellbeing. "Young master Hitachiin, is something troubling you?" The chauffeur asked, eyebrows furrowed in concern.

"Why don't you mind your damn business!" I snapped. "Your paid to escort my brother and I, not to meddle in my personal affairs!" It was really out of character for me to act so ill-mannered, and hot headed to someone who was only concerned for me, it was more of something childish, that would rather suit Hikaru's personality.

"Damn spoiled, rich, twin brats…" The driver mumbled almost inaudibly, and irritably. Nothing else was exchanged between the offended chauffer and I the rest of the way back to my estate. In the back seat I sobbed hysterically and openly, I wanted to get all the sadness out of my system, so I could hide any sign of distress from Hikaru, he couldn't know about what happened between Mori and I, I wouldn't allow it, if Hikaru were to leave me, I don't know how I would be able to go on living, I don't even think I'd be able to.

When I arrived home, I dried my eyes and blinked until the redness that stained them faded. I slowly stumbled to the room Hikaru and I shared, and opened the door. I found Hikaru sitting in the same place he was before I left, partaking in the same mind-numbing activity, playing video games.

My brothers face lit up as I entered the room. "Kao-Chan! I've missed you!" Hikaru exclaimed as he got up from the bed and made his way towards me, his golden eyes beaming as he draped his arms around my neck.

"I've only been gone for a couple of hours though…" I answered disinterestedly, I didn't hug my brother back, I didn't deserve his love after I betrayed him like I did.

Hikaru inhaled deeply, causing his nose to scrunch up, in what I assumed to be disgust. "Kao you smell funny…"

I violently jerked away from my brother, tripping over my own two feet in the process. I fell to the floor, bringing Hikaru down with me. "Oh, I must of grabbed the jacket from the dirty clothes hamper." I rubbed the back of my head, I had hit it when I fell down.

"No matter, I'll be removing that jacket of yours now anyway, I promised to show you a good time tonight didn't I?" Hikaru began to remove my jacket, but I leapt up from the floor, I was terrified that I would give Hikaru some sort of sexual contracted disease that may have been inflicted on me from having unprotected sex with Mori-Senpai.

"No don't! Stop! I don't want to!" I shrieked as images of Mori on top of me made their way into my mind, I jumped into my bed and hid under the fabric softener scented covers.

Hikaru eyes widened in confusion and fear for me. "I'm so sorry Kaoru, I was only doing what you wanted me to, you said you wanted me to make love to you when you got back from Mori-Senpai's home. Have you forgotten?" Hikaru asked in a soft voice, he was didn't want to frighten me anymore than I already was. Hikaru held me in his arms and ran his fingers through my auburn hair in an effort to comfort me.

"No! Get the Hell off me!" I screamed in terror, and threw a remorseless, and hard punch that landed Hikaru square in the jaw.

"Kaoru! What has gotten into you? What have I done to upset you? Your acting childish! I can't apologize or fix what I've done unless you tell me!" My twin screamed in frustration, holding his jaw in pain.

I couldn't take the person I care for most in this fucked up world yelling at me in the fragile state I was in. I scratched at me ears drawing blood before covering them with the palms of my hands, creating a makeshift sound barrier. "Stop screaming at me… I… I hate you! Get out!"

Hikaru grabbed my wrists. "Stop it Kaoru, your hurting yourself, you don't mean that!" Tears were streaming down Hikaru's face. "Kaoru I'm scared, your acting strange, please…please tell me what's wrong!"

"You really want to know what's wrong Hikaru? Well take a look in a mirror, because it's you! I hate being your twin! I hate you! Your so fucking inconsiderate! While you're here playing video games, I had to go out and do boring trigonometry questions with stupid Mori-Senpai!" I snapped holding back a significant part of the story, the part that would explain my explosive anger.

"What the fuck Kaoru? Is this what this is all about? I didn't know doing a favor for your brother was such a painstaking task! What the hell is your problem!"

I lowered my voice as I began to sob again. "Get…g…get out…"

"Fine if that's the way you want it!" Hikaru stormed out of the room and I heard the door to the guest bedroom down the hall slam.

As soon as my temper cooled down, admitting me to think clearly once again, I realized how much of a mistake I had just made. I haven't slept without Hikaru for as long as I can remember, and right now more than ever I needed the support of my twin, the security of knowing he is right there beside me, ready and willing to protect me. The emptiness of the room depressed me, it left me alone to deal with all the conflicting emotions inside me, and I very much wanted Hikaru there to console me, to wipe the tears from my eyes, and whisper loving little nothings into my ear, as he rubs my back in an comforting, circler motion. I want Hikaru with me, but when Hikaru is angry, he holds an inescapable grudge… what have I done? I'm so tired and I just want to sleep. I got up from my bed, and slumped into the bathroom connected to my room, I scanned the contents of my medicine cabinet until I found the pill container which contained sleeping pills from when Hikaru suffered from a mild case of insomnia. I was too tired to deal with the bothersome task of reading dosage labels, so I just simply swallowed a handful, knowing the consequences full well.

Everything went black.

Okay, end the dramatic scene. I'm sorry it took so long for me to update, final exams are coming up and my teachers are cracking down with tons of homework! I'll try to update sooner next time. Anyway what did you think? Sorry there is no sex… for those of you who thrive on nothing but lemons alone. XD I will make sure to include some next chapter! Please review, so I can know if I did a good job. I am also open for any suggestions you may have for later chapters in this story, so if you have a request let me know! I'll see you later!

~Kousei