Hey, it's me, Freddie. I got the mellon off of me yesterday after the show. Then I fell asleep on carly's couch. when I woke up in the morning Sam was brushing her teeth at the sink. I shook the sleep out of my head and got up. I went to the kitchen and grabbed a glass out of the cupboard. I went to the sink and filled it with water, it was then that sam spit into my glass.
"Sam!" I said.
"I had to spit, your drink was in my way." She said. I sighed and put the glass in the sink. I went back to the couch and grabbed the remote. I heard sam garggle and spit again. After a moment of sleepy silence, There was a Sam on my lap. And I stated this.
"There's a Sam on my lap." I said matter of factly.
"Yeah, get used to it." She yanked the remote out of my hand.
"Get off!" I said. She wiggled a little. She had a boney butt. "Get you boney little butt off my lap." I said.
"Nope." She wriggled some more. This was akward, I felt like she was giving me a lap dance.
"You know Sam, some people would consider this a lap dance." She imediatly slid off of me and onto the other side of the couch. I breath a sigh of relief, cause I can breathe again. Then she lays down and puts her bare feet up on my head, not my lap, my head. "Sam! get your filthy feet off of me!" I yelled at her.
"No!" She yells. "Go make me a sammich!" She yells violently.
"Make your own sandwich." I said. She just kicked me. a lot. Then I heard Carly coming down the stairs.
"Umm, I thought you guys went home like, yesterday." She yawned.
"Why would you think that?" Sam asked as her feet came to rest on my shoulder.
"Well I said I was going to bed and you said you were leaving, And I thought you left when we went upstairs." Carly asked as she went into the kitchen.
"I was gonna go home, but I fell asleep." I said as I pushed sam's feet away from my face.
"And I was gonna go home, but I was too lazy so I slept in the elevator." Sam said as she put her feet back up on my shoulder.
"Morning Carly, My sister's friends who never leave." Spencer said as he crossed through the room.
"Hey spence." I said.
"Make me some food." Sam said.
"Make your own food, puckett." I told her.
"Shut up fredqueer!" Sam said as she angrily changed the channel.
"Ugh, I hate you." I said. She perked up at the sound of this. She took her feet down and sat on her knees, staring at me intently. "Uhh, Sam?" I asked. She leaned over and licked the side of my face. "Ugh, Sam!" I yelled as I wiped the saliva off of my cheek.
"Eww, you washed off the melon, now you just taste like nerd!" She yelled. "I'm gonna go was my mouth out with ham." She got up from the couch and began digging around the fridge. I flopped back down on the couch, I closed my eyes and tried to fall back asleep, but then there was the same Sam on my back.
"Must you use me as furniture?" I asked her.
"I told you to get used to it." She said as she wriggled. I groaned. "Go make me a sammich." She said.
"Ok 1, I can't, your sitting on me. And 2, It's SANDWICH, not sammich." I told her.
"It's sammich when it's for a Sam. sammich, SAMmich, it's only common sense, Fredison." She said. True, but it was still pronounced SANDWICH.
"But your still using me as a couch." I said.
"True, now where's my Sammich." It wasn't a question, it was a demand.
"GET OFF OF ME!" I yelled at her. I moved around until she fell off of me and onto the couch. I got up and went to the kitchen. I didn't feel like making a 'sammich' So I got myself some cereal. I sat back down on the couch next to Sam.
"Where's my sammich?" She asked.
"Get your own SANDWICH!" I yelled at her. She yanked my cereal from my hand, then ate what was on my spoon, and stole that too. "Hey give me that!" I yelled at her.
"Not until you make me a sammich." She said.
"Make your own sandwich." I gave up on trying to force the word on her.
"No, I'll just do this." She took the bowl and dumped it on my head. It was cold. and it was all over my head and lap, I was cold in places that shouldn't be this cold.
"SAM!" I yelled. She just leaned over and licked my cheek.
"EW! Milk and nerd." She complained.
"Sam you can't just poor cereal on my head whenever you want!" I stood up on the couch.
"I can do what ever I want!" She yelled. She stood up too.
"Shut up! I'm cold, in place I shouldn't be!" I yelled.
"I Didn't need to know that." She cringed.
"Go get a towel and clean this up!" I yelled.
"NO!" She yelled at me.
"Sam, clean it up." Carly said.
"Ugh, fine." Sam said.
"Hey frederly?" She asked.
"What?" I asked.
"Make me a Sammich?" She asked.
"No!" I yelled. I got off the couch and dried myself with a towel. "Sam, do you have to be so obnoxious?" I asked as I dried my face.
"Does me being obnoxious bother you?" She asked.
"Yes." I said.
"Then yes I do." She said.
"Ugh, I hate you." I said as I flopped back down on the couch.
"Diddo, Freddo." She said as she sat next to me.
"Must you two always fight?" Carly asked. I flashed quickly on our first kiss, not always fighting.
"Yes!" We answered together, though my answer was more of a groan.
"Don't talk when I talk!" She punched my arm.