The Incident of the Disclaimer that was not put here before
"Hiya, everyone! I'm the author of this story! And I'm here to convey a message to YOU, today!" The author says to everyone.
The author takes out a sign from her never-ending bag.
The author nails the sign into the ground and fails.
The author jumps on the sign to make it go into the ground and succeeds.
The sign says, "The previously mentioned person does not own ½ Prince, in fact, she will probably never own ½ Prince in her life, as she cannot draw anything for her life."
The reader has discovered more on the back of the sign, "This disclaimer was purposely formatted to be like a classic game. Please forgive the author if you did not get it, and she sounds stupid. Please forgive the author again if you did not get what I just said."
It was nighttime, at who knows what time. I had finished all my homework, and once again, I was bored. I picked up the game that I had placed on the side of my wooden desk a couple of hours before. I stared at it before removing the clear wrapping. The container of the game opened with a sharp and quick click. And out fell the manual, with a whole lot of descriptions about the game. This is going to be a pain to read.
After reading the whole thing, which consumed many minutes, I figured out the basis: you are only allowed one character, you can sleep while using this, and the rest is in the game, really.
I made the manual into a huge paper ball, aimed for my trash bin, and missed by a huge margin; I wasn't the best at basketball. I put the headset for the game into my hand and flopped onto the bed. The headset fitted snugly on my head, as it should, and I positioned my head onto my fluffy pillow and slept.
The room which I 'entered' was encased in oblivion, not a single speck of a color other than black. I tried to feel my way around, but failed. Seriously, is this how the creators of the game made this? A lie to the public that this was 99% real, but in reality it was only-
That's when the light came on, a flashing light that nearly blinded me. They should consider putting up a warning sign or something. A girl showed up with the light, she was rubbing her eyes.
"Why are you registering when it's nearly midnight?" She stifled a yawn, but moments later it came out. The girl finally opened her eyes, revealing an ordinary pair of brown eyes.
"Because I maybe sleep at this time?" I answered. I scratched the back of my head. Oh noes, a yawn was starting to make its way outside of me.
The little girl stared at me, before slapping herself a few times to get herself awake, then smiling. "I see! Well, welcome to Second Life! You have many races and jobs to choose from! I hope you already know what you want, because I don't want to sacrifice my beauty sleep time for this job."
What would I want to be? I'm already a human, so it's too plain. I don't want to be shorter than the height I tried so hard to attain, so I'm not going to be a dwarf or anything of the height. Beasts don't hide your acne too much, I have some pimples, and beasts pretty ugly. Elementals are out. And some are just too idiotic to consider, so now I'm stuck with Dark Elves and Angels.
I glanced at the person who was supposed to help me. She was dozing off. The room was void of anything I could throw at her to get her off the floating chair. My only option was to shout at her, "Hey! I've chosen!"
"Oh!... Ah-ha, so you've chosen, eh? So what is it ma'am?"
"Dark Elf."
"I see, now be gone, bye." She tried to dismiss me with a wave of her hand.
That didn't work out too well, "Wait! There's more."
"… You suck"
"Is that really what you're supposed saying to me?" I raised an eyebrow. Maybe I should work here, since they didn't care about how their employees were working.
"Please tell me what you'd like to add. Or subtract."
"Okay, so…. You know how the dark elf's skin is dark and a bit blue? I want my skin to be pale, a whitish color" I made a big circle motion with both my hands.
"That kills all the meaning of a 'Dark Elf''."
"I know, I just like the name, so I want whitish skin, but I want my race on my profile to be listed as 'Dark Elf '"
"Uh-huh, skin has been changed, anything else?"
"I also want…." And the listing ensued, with my changes. I added light grey wings that were a bit transparent, the wings actually looked a bit robotic on the top part, and the girl told me that they would 'grow' or 'mature'. I modified my black hair into shorter more blacker hair that barely touched my shoulders, and it wasn't a bob cut.
"I'd hate to ask this, but anything else?" The NPC was starting to get irritated at me; I presumed that she was the type who wasn't fazed by anything at all.
"Not really, but one more thing… Could I possibly become… a ninja? Or something similar?"
"Yes and no. You may 'become' one if you wish. However it's only to the extent of having weapons like 'ninjas' and garments like 'ninjas'. We do not have any jobs that are listed as 'ninja'. The thing closest is an assassin. But, you'd lose a lot of fame once you start on the 'massacre' level. Why am I telling you this? Didn't you read the manual? Why do people never read the manual nowadays?" She sighed with a disapproving shake of her head. "I hope this is the last time I ask this, anything else?"
I felt disappointed too. I couldn't get a job as a ninja. Well, that only proves that this game is pretty darn modern. Year 2100. I wonder what life was like for the people a hundred years back? Did they have the technology we have now? Peh, it doesn't matter to me.
"Nothing, I'm satisfied with my character." I looked at the supposedly 'dark' elf with metallic grey wings looking at me with her silver eyes staring back at me. She smirked. Oh ho…. I think I like my character already. I'm getting interested in this game. "I want my name to be Yomi."
"Sorry to burst your bubble, but that name has already been taken."
"What the fudge? Then I want Gom."
"That… unique name has been taken as well. Please account to the fact that this game has been released for quite a few hours now, and many, many, many people have looked forward to playing this game for a month now." The NPC started twirling her hair around her finger. I'm starting to wonder if this girl is really an NPC.
"Well, how about Yuki?"
"Taken"
"Princess?"
"Not available"
"Queen?"
"Too bad, so sad."
"Prince?"
"Are you a girl or a boy?"
"Coke" I spurted out, getting bored.
"That's copy-right infringement."
"Dark Elf?"
"You're getting un-original here."
"Then you give me some options."
"Well, what about Schniederwitzelschitz?"
"What do you think I am? Some random foreign person who can memorize things exceptionally well? No. I do not want Snider with shiz." My eyes locked on to her face and blankly looked at her.
"It's Schniederwitzelschitz, not Snider with shiz. It's the name of my pet."
"Well, your pet must have a very unique characteristic or something to be named that way." It was then I had realized the most important thing where I standing in this room. "You aren't an NPC because you actually own a pet!"
The girl smiled, "You just noticed? I'm wasting my sleeping time here. What do you want as your name? Tell you what, I have some…. connections here and there in this world. So I'll let the next name you choose as your user-name."
That girl over here? She's talking business now. "Yuu, that's the name I want."
"So you've abandoned your home language for another language? You spell it Y-U-U, right?"
I nodded vigorously to both her questions, we both wanted to get this over with obviously, so why not agree with her with everything from now on?
"Nice choice. 'Yuu' it is then." She waved her hand around as if waving a wand. "I feel that I've known you long enough, so I'll choose your city for you: Moon City. It has an asian-feel to it."
"Um. Thanks, I'll miss you too." I smirked at her, maybe I found a friend I was never going to meet again.
She, for the first time, rolled her eyes. "I never said I'll miss you."
With that said, I was booted out of the room. Quite rudely, I'll add. So far I like this game. Very, very intriguing and interesting this game is. Very.
"Ouch!"
My gluteus maximus came into contact on the dried up soil of a forest. Green eyes of a pink circular blob came peering into my eyes, I welcomed it towards me with hands ready to pick it up and cuddle with it. It approached me slowly, but steadily. When the pink blob came within the range of jumping into hands, it did the expected or rather the unexpected for me. This pink blob chomped my precious hands.
"Ah…!" It took me a few moments to realize and process what just happened. "Ah…! Ah….!"
"WHAAAAAT THEEE FUUUUUDDGGGEESSICCCLEEEEESSSS!" Furiously, I started to kick to pink blob. As if it were a soccer ball, I continually pounded my foot into its hateful pink blobby body. "My poor hands! Look at them… They're bleeding!"
I shoved my hands in front of the passed out, or dead, pink blob's face. "This is your entire fault! My once perfectly pale white hands that were made a few minutes ago..! Are now splattered with my blood…!"
Then more pink soccer balls with green eyes showed up; I believe by the time I log off, almost all the pink blobs will be extinct. And I don't think I will be logging off anytime soon.
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